Oh man that story with kid biting thing totally reminded me of one time my family and I were basically the circus as custys.
Nobody bit a kid this time. A toddler bit a teenager, if that counts?
So, bless my mom, it seems like all her kids have had biting issues. I used to bite a lot as a kid, my sister.... had one spectacular bite, and my brother was much the same as me though his shit got shut down before third grade.
We were at a small local grocery, and my sister is maybe two. Like tippy tottery walking still, four maybe five teeth. Mom and Grandma are shopping while I'm being a good older sibling and entertaining my sister. Or trying to. She hated the carts and started fussing. My mom said I could take her on a walk around the store, inside, because the parking lot was packed and the grassy area sucked anyway.
We do a lap, she is ecstatic and now the only loud sounds are happy giggles. We walk back. She decides to take off like a bat out of hell and teeter totter her way through crowds. My Grandma is freaking, and my mom is like wedged behind someone else's cart so I ran after her.
Catch up. Pick her up, she starts freaking out and my mom is on her way over. Ish. Crowds, ugh. My sister decided it was a good idea to put those new teeth to use.
And bit my face.
I do that thing where if a kid is being a brat and trying to hurt you for a reaction, you just don't react. So there's a baby biting my face and I'm biting the inside of my cheek because shit those are sharp teeth.
She bit harder.
I shouted out, like 75% of the store is watching at this point, my Grandma and Mom are like running and when they get there my Grandma is raving and shouting. My mom is trying everything to get my sister to let go; tickling, patting her hair, trying to pry her mouth open. Nada. Kid was like a fucking crocodile. Eventually, my Mom and Grandma just took her, put a hand on my forehead, and pulled her off.
We decided shopping was done then. Grandma took sister to the car, I helped pack groceries at the cash. I'm like fifteen and trying to be macho as hell right? The cashier is just the sweetest and asks if I want some ice, while my Mom is red to her ears and I have tears, baby drool, and possibly blood just smeared down my face.
We left as fast as humanly possible.