Retail Hell Underground

Hellspawn Signage

From NC Tony: Saw this one in a used bookstore in NC.

 

 

 

Retail Hell Memories: Computer Repair Reveals Hellspawn Involvement

NumismaticNerd here,

Sorry I haven't posted more than pictures but so far (knock on wood) Huge Raptor has been awesome aside from the rare annoyance-that-isn't-enough-to-make-a-whole-story. I don't know what made me think of this story, but a family friend who I will refer to as Cap'n, (yes the same Cap'n who is a higher-up manager at another Huge Raptor and is known as such in the training videos)

When I was just a wee li'l tyke, my family would often visit his for friendship and camaraderie since he and my parents were long time friends. Stories often were passed back and forth about work and family and things like that. You know, usual grown-up chit-chat that the adults don't think the kids are paying attention to.

He either owned a computer repair business or worked for one, but he told this story which probably came back to the forefront of my brain for two reasons. One, two of my computers are down right now, and I need computer repair, and two, a relatively local candy shop was involved in a fire.

So anyway enough back-story, on with the real story.

Cap'n gets a call to come over right away and repair some lady's computer and so far as I remember from his story the call went like this:

Woman: You have to come over right away! My computer is smoking, it smells funny, and there's brown smoke coming from it!

Cap'n: Okay... I'll be right over, until then turn the computer off and unplug it. *goes over to her house*

*at the woman's house*

Cap'n: *goes over to the woman's computer and starts it up*

Computer: *complete hard drive and motherboard failure*

Cap'n: *sees the Floppy Disk A:/ drive is in use so presses Eject*

Computer: *ejects a tiny little piece of silver/brown paper*

Cap'n: Weird... *grabs hold of the piece of paper and pulls* H... E... R... S... H...

Woman: I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill that kid!

Cap'n: *thinking* Well at least you're not going to kill me...

Yes Ladies and Gents, the woman's (unseen) Hellspawn shoved a Hershey's Chocolate Bar into the Floppy Disk Drive of the computer!

Thanks for reading my trip down memory lane, and somewhat of a Nostalgia-bat attack

And may all your Custies be nice!

--NumismaticNerd

Bad Custys, N.A.T.s, and Hellspawn Beware! Devil Cat is Watching

 

 ...and she will kick your ass!

 

 

 

Evil Hellspawn Bullies Autistic Classmate - Mom Gives Shocking Response

Hi, call me Spawn-wrangler.

I started out working in an after-school club for kids as a storyteller but now I'm another one of the bods who stops the kids from killing one another, plays with them and feeds them a snack, nothing too taxing but it pays the bills. The group ranges in age from 5-10 year olds, and generally the older kids will play happily with the little ones or by themselves, however there are a few notable exceptions.
 
There's many stories I could tell, kids tend to act up after a full day of school and no parents around; but the one that sticks in my mind is the tale of Tommy.

Tommy is an 8-year old ball of evil wrapped in blonde curls. This is a child who will happily stamp on the hands of smaller kids if they're playing with something he wants, encourages other kids to misbehave and is generally as rude as he can be to the staff. I'm not overdoing it to say that we're all waiting for Tommy to shed his skin to reveal his true form and start the end of days.

And before you ask, his Mum appears to be completely checked out when it comes to raising her son and as for dad, I assume he's too busy ruling the underworld to raise his son.

Now any given night with Tommy can be difficult but at the start of this term (semester for Americans) we had a new little boy join the group, a sweet kid with quite pronounced autism, no big deal, we're all keen to help him interact, most of the kids are aware of his problem and everyone is patient and kind with him.

Except Tommy.

I promise you, RHU'ers, I have never seen such cruelty from a child before, Tommy spent the entire first night winding up this autistic child; cheating at games with him (the boy is fairly high-functioning and can certainly see when someone's cheating), taking toys off of him, spoiling his drawings, and finally the Autistic boy had a meltdown (don't blame him, I would have too, frankly). This resulted in the Autistic kid chasing Tommy across the room and tackling Tommy to the ground, then punching the hell out of him all before any of the staff could get there.

Now I'd like to point out here that no-one was badly hurt, Tommy was laughing his evil little laugh as it happened, and the Autistic boy was taken to a quiet area to calm down, after which he did try and say sorry to Tommy (not that Tommy appeared to care) for the rest of the evening we try to keep the two apart.

Cut to going-home time, as usual Tommy's mum is the last to show up; company policy is that when we have incidents like this we have to tell parents as well as fill in reports etc. So we explain to Tommy's mum what happened, with reference to the fact that her son started it (not in those words, of course) and what is this woman's response to the news that her boy is cruel enough to pick on another child with a disablity?

"Well, if he doesn't wanna be treated like that he shouldn't come here with normal kids."

Unfortunately in the time it took for me to pick my jaw off the floor she'd left with her hellspawn in tow. X_X I have no idea how this is gonna play out, until another event we're just trying to keep Tommy away from the poor kid.

--Spawn Wrangler

 

When Hellspawn Lose Balloons

From NumismaticNerd: Balloon that has apparently been stuck in the fan since the Bazaar Region Huge Raptor opened three years ago. Housekeeping fail? (it was recently taken down finally)

 

Hellspawn N.A.T. Gets Told By Awesome Manager At The Magic Kingdom

So, today was fun.

I literally opened EVERY location in the land of tomorrow (not that it wasn't fun) and had a pretty good time.

The following story involves that rarest of breeds: a manager with a backbone.

See, recently, we got a new manager in our little section of the kingdom, who has been with the company for several years and has previously worked at table service restaurants at some of the swankier hotels.

To be honest, this guy is an awesome manager that I got along with pretty much as soon as I met him. He's just as dorky as I am, he's pretty upbeat, he constantly looks for ways to make things more efficient without trying to overstep his bounds. He's a pretty cool guy.

Now, today, at the hot dog stand, I find out after I went on a potty break that there was a... well, an unruly guest one of the registers next to mine.

I hear from the cashier, A, about how the guest came up and told her that our custodians had thrown away three trays of her food, and she wanted it replaced. That, to both me and her, immediately sent up a red flag.

So, A asks her for a receipt for the order. The girl says that her sister took in on a ride with her. Again, red flag.

She asks the girl how the meal was paid for. The guest says she doesn't know because her dad paid for it. She didn't have a receipt, she didn't know how the meal was paid for, and she expects us to replace three trays worth of food just because she said so???

A said no. The girl threw a FIT and A immediately went and called for a manager. Fortunately for A, and me (I was next to the register when the following happened), Cool Guy Manager (CGM) is the one who steps to the window to address the situation.

So, he walks up and the following happens:

Cool Manger: Yes, I'm the manager here. How may I help you?

ANAT (attempted NAT): Yes, I was here, and the cleaners threw away three trays worth of food, and the girl that

was here earlier was giving me a hard time about getting it replaced. I've been waiting here for hours, and in line for twenty minutes, and my brothers and sisters are starving and we just want the food replaced.

Cool Manager: Okay, do you have a receipt?

ANAT: No, my sister has it on the ride.

Cool Manager: Okay, do you know which register your ordered from?

ANAT: No, my dad did it.

Cool Manager: Okay, well, I need some information so we can replace your order properly, so, which ride is your sister on? Or, perhaps you can go getyour dad?

ANAT: Really? Can I speak to the REAL manager?

Cool Manager: I am the manager, and I'd be happy to help you.

ANAT: But it's JUST FOOD. My brothers and sisters are starving, I thought this was Disney where dreams come true and magic happens, and our food got thrown away and we need it replaced and we've already had a long wait and a hard time with the other girl, so will you just replace it?

[HERE COMES THE BEST PART]

Cool Manager: At this point, without a receipt, no, I can not.

HOLY SHIT A MANAGER ACTUALLY TOLD A GUEST AT DISNEY NO! FUCKING AMAZING. The poor ANAT stomped off with a huff, Cool Guy Manager shrugged, and the whole thing was over. I walked over to it after it was over and gave him a high five for handling the situation in a very calm and professional matter while still refusing to let a girl scam out of god knows how many dollars worth of food.

May you all be blessed with similar managers. Until next time, have a magical day!

--MouseMastered

 

Signage: Only Heavenspawn Welcome

 

 

Hellspawn Limit Signage

 

Checkout Lane Drama: Slimy Hellspawn Encounter

Hey there folks, it's Knitty Kitty with a little more Stupor-Valued love.

First off, I've had my share of hellspawn. But this one really takes the cake.

A woman brings her cart up to my checkstand, and her hellspawn is standing in the cart, as if he's "conquering" something. It's important to note that he is slurping down a purple "drinkable yogurt" with an animal brand.

So chalking it up to bad parenting, I quickly try to run through her groceries (to end my suffering quicker). Then it touches me. Worse than chicken slime, hellspawn drool, or even milk. Purple fruit-scented goo.

On all of her groceries.

Because her hellspawn, in his conquering stance, had been STOMPING THE EVERLOVING FUCK out of all of her groceries. Which was, of course, my fault, because I shouldn't "manhandle" everything.

So I get past all of this, and start loading the bags onto the automated lazy susan we have. (It can be operated by a button on the custy's side and on my own side, with no means of disabling custy-side.

The hellspawn launches himself from the cart, and runs to the lazy Susan as I fill it with his mom's bags. He smashes himself against that button, sending his mother's bags in a drunken circle, scattering her groceries everywhere (yet again, somehow my fault, because I should be able to stop the carousel from my side).

I was so gleeful to be rid of her. ;-;

On top of that, I got to overhear "Stupid McSoupy" try to give the evening manager hell.

She returned a bag of Chumpy Soops that she'd bought claiming they were out of date, because the dates were "October" and "November" on the cups. Not realizing that the year printed on them was 2012. *eyeroll*

So when the front desk person calmly told her that the soups were in fact in-date, the woman changed to defensive mode, and went on a tirade about how her husband was horribly ill from consuming the "out of date" soups.

Peace, paws, and yarn <3

--Knitty Kitty

 

 

Retail Hell Video: More Teenagers Trashing Stores And Filming Themselves Doing It

 

From Humor Me: I heard on the news that the police are looking for the assholes that trashed this store. They filmed it and posted it on youtube. I found the reupload and here it is! They think it happened in Mesa because of the ASU shirt one of the dickwads is wearing. I hope they catch them and make them work retail for 10 years.

Here's another store trashing video recently posted:

 

Here's the orginal post to follow the conversation:

http://www.retailhellunderground.com/my_weblog/2011/12/this-will-make-you-angry-teenagers-think-its-funny-to-trash-stores-and-film-it-.html

 

Youtube link: http://youtu.be/EUO3hhbpdIY

Hellspawn Warning Sign

Awesome Hellspawn Sausage Sign

 

Slacker Mom Allows Hellspawn To Destroy Store While Waiting In Line

From Compassionate Custy:

I have no job yet (mostly because around here, everybody wants you to have work experience but will not hire you to GIVE you the work experience). I stumbled onto your site through a friend and have come to respect the people who provide services that I once took for granted. I thought I'd share a horrible fellow-custy story.

I was shopping with my mother at our local HellMart today. Pretty standard shopping trip, until the time came to wait in the checkout lane. There, we both became witnesses to one of the most horrific spectacles of modern parenting that either of us have ever seen.

A woman and her obese 8-year-old daughter (heretofore referred to as WhaleMom and Grabby) pulled into the checkout lane on the right of us. Grabby started digging in the cart of the couple waiting in front of them (who they seemed to know, based on their conversation, but still), slamming down on the tops of the tabloid mags in their holders, THROWING HERSELF INTO PEOPLE AND CARTS and singing a song made entirely of random gibberish at the top of her lungs to the entire store. 

WhaleMom's response: "Grabby, don't do that. Come back over here." in a tone of voice that suggested she was answering a telephone survey.

Non-surprisingly, Grabby instead ran 5 checkout aisles to the left of us and disappeared from view. However, we could all still hear her "adorable" singing voice.

WhaleMom's response: "Grabby, you silly-billy, come back." 

5 minutes of singing and horrid slamming noises later, WhaleMom's response changed to asking the couple in front of her, "Can you watch my cart-OH! Never mind, I see her." 

Apparently, "I see her" can now mean "the top of her head is now showing over the aisle wall because she's climbing the candy and tabloid racks."

A few minutes later, Grabby came dancing out with the ONE tabloid printed on super-thin shreddable newsprint in her hand and proceeded to smack everything she passed with it, including carts, tables of merch, people, and racks of candy.

When WhaleMom finally got Grabby to stay at their cart, she actually PRAISED HER for "coming back when she called", put the shredded tabloid back into the tabloid rack, then let her hellspawn kick the couple in front of them's cart until they left.

WHAT THE FUCK PARENT?! Your child is destroying merch and making it hell for all of us other customers, so you continue to let her slam things, try to climb the checkout racks of stuff, and generally be a horrid little monster?! AND YOU GIGGLE ABOUT HOW "SILLY" SHE'S BEING??

Now, I'm only 17, so I don't have as much life experience as most of you. My parents raised me to respect property that isn't mine, people who are not me, and the people who work for a living (since I would someday join them).

On behalf of the horrible custys, I am SO sorry.

--Compassionate Custy

Christmas Day Restaurant Hellspawn Destroy Decorations and Get Told

Restaurant_Slave gets a Christmas Day Big Ass Retail Balls Award for confronting out of control Hellspawn destroying decorations...

Well hello RHU'ers, it's been a while, been collecting a few stories to share with all of you!

First off let me start by saying working Christmas Day is a nightmare... The only reason I work it is because we get our hourly rate tripled and get paid the same day. Not many bad things happened this Christmas day luckily, the same inane questions of "why are you working Christmas day you should be with your family!" Um... you've come for a meal? Duh....

We did have one case of a woman complaining about her turkey being overcooked, the vegetables being undercooked, the food not tasting nice etc... There was nothing wrong with her food, and she was the only customer to complain out of 120 turkey dinners that had been sent out.... Bit of a moaning old woman then...

A couple of weeks before Christmas day we had a wedding.... Now I hate serving weddings as well because there are so many little things you have to remember to do... For those of you that have ever done a Silver Service you'll know what a ballache serving a Wedding party of 70 is...

Now the adults themselves were fine but the hellspawn.... 

Fuck me sideways I could have happily bitchslapped the lot of them with a tray. For 6 HOURS myself and the other members of staff put up with the hellspawn running around, screaming, disturbing our other customers, making a mess of the restaurant, running around on bar stools, the cushioned benches in the bar and the bar tables...

But not a single parent told them to stop. I asked nicely several times for them to stop running around because it was dangerous and they could get hurt etc... This carried on until midnight... why midnight you ask?

The wedding party had booked a DJ til 1 am. By the time half 12 came, the hellspawn hyped up on cocacola and whatever alcohol they'd gotten from their absolutely plastered parents had started to destroy our christmas decorations.

I completely lost my temper at that point. I'd put up with running, screaming, mild destruction for 6 hours, but no little hellspawn shit was destroying christmas decorations and ruining it for other customers.

I pretty much shouted "OI!, STOP IT!"

They looked at me, and the ringleader of this little band of shits gave me what can only be described as a "yeah right, fuck you" grin...

So I told their parents, even in their alcohol fuelled state, they finally noticed the little brats were doing something really disrespectful and sorted it out... You'd think I had done the right thing?

Nope. I got bollocked by my manager for trying to stop hellspawn from destroying our christmas decorations...

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with the shit I get from customers, my bosses and manager...

--Restaurant_Slave

 

After Holiday Hell At Hellgreens: Dumbass Custy Parade

From Drugstore Diva:

Last night must have been shopping day for the idiot asylum.  I swear all the dumb people were at my store.

One custy wanted to return a Scarlet Crustacean gift card. 

First off, she was in Hellgreens, and gift cards are not returnable anywhere.  I told her to find a friend who likes seafood and sell it to them.

*    *    *

One custy came up with two carts full of various store merchandise. 

I start ringing her out while calling for back up, and by the third item, she says "Wait, isn't everything 50% off". 

I tell her that just Christmas was half price, not including Hallmark (because they give us full credit on unsold merchandise). 

She then decides she didn't want any of it and left her two carts in the checkout line.

*    *    *

Woman comes in with her two teenage grand daughters. 

The woman and one girl were no problem.  The second one hands me some candy and a $25 Visa gift card, still in the cardboard wrapper they're sold in so I scan and activate the gift card.  She seems surprised when the amount ends up over $30 so I mention the gift card. 

She looks at me like I sprouted three heads and said "I was paying with that". 

So I told her that she needs to take the card out of the wrapping to use it, the stripe on the wrapper is just for activation and won't work to make a purchase, and they're not handed to the clerk, they're run on the EFTPOS. 

The girl looked very confused so grandma paid for her candy and as they were leaving the line the girl gets snotty saying that she'll shop at WalMart where they're smart and know what to do with gift cards. 

I heard Grandma tell her "It's not her fault you don't know how to use a gift card." 

(Go Grandma!)

*    *    *    *

There was also the crusty who threw a fit because her baby formula was recalled and now what was she going to feed her baby (maybe another brand...or get infant rather than newborn, there really is no difference).

Later on, I had several people, last minute of course with WIC checks and every one had the wrong items.

Last one, the woman who at 9:59pm says "Oh, I left my wallet at home, can I go get it and come back?" 

Nope, because we're closing at 10:00 and you won't make it back in time.

--Drugstore Diva

 

 

Walmart Santa Hell

I hope he's wearing earplugs!

 

This Will Make You Angry: Teenagers Think It's Funny To Trash Stores and Film It

From Cosmetics Hellhound: Don't you just want to beat them until they are black and blue in the face? Or curse them so that they have to work the rest of their lives in retail? Where are their parents!! Or where WERE they when these two were being raised? Ugh.

Austrian Demon Christmas Parade

 

A parade called Krampuslauf Graz, is held in Austria every Christmas season to celebrate Krampus, a mountain demon who once a year comes to the cities and snatches up naughty children. Maybe Krampus should be in stores and malls here in the states! He come get our out of control hellspawn and their bad parents!

Bad Parent Solution: Red Bulls And Kazoos

From Yingafred: A friend of mine uploaded this to Facebook, and I can't help but to wonder if the store is shooting themselves in the foot for this one or if it is just that crazy to actually work!

How Antique Store Deals With Hellspawn

From Midnight Doctor.