This story was originally posted on: September 06, 2010
Hello, RHU Fans.
I posted a story and I comment once in a while under the name Gypsy, but I think I would like to change my name to Pony Hustler! :D
Of course, I don't really hustle ponies, but I do love the shit out of them! There are eight ponies that I work with, with a group of awesome co-workers doing pony rides for the public.
I pretty much love my job. I get to play with ponies all day, groom them, feed them, train them, and give them all the hugs and kisses I want!
There is just one thing that I could do without sometimes, and I bet you guessed it--hell spawn! and their parents!
I figured that I would conjure up a list of things that bug the shit out of me that these little gems (hell spawn and parents) do on a regular basis.
And hey, maybe there is someone out there who knows how I feel, and maybe even has a similar job!
1. Huge, fat kids.
Kids that always want to ride the ponies and whose parents insist on it, even though they do not meet the weight requirements. Ponyspawn2
You must be under 100 lbs to ride the ponies. Not 105, not 100, 99 OR LESS. What is so hard to understand?
Your kid is too big to ride this pony. Your kid was too big to ride this pony 2 years ago. Oh, your kid weighs 90 lbs? So does Drew Carey. We have camel rides and horse rides. Go do them and stop whining.
I understand it is impulsive to want to touch cute, cuddly animals. However, do you go up to someone's dog and start mauling it without asking its owner? Common sense and manners says no. It's no different with any animal, no matter what it is.
Ponies can think you have food and bite your fingers accidentally. Ponies can get startled and spook, possibly stepping on your feet or plowing into hell spawn.
I had one little girl ask to touch the pony, I told her not yet, that she had to wait until she was on it, and SHE DID IT ANYWAY.
STOP TOUCHING THE PONY, KID!
3. Parents that think it is OH SO FUNNY that the pony is pooping/peeing.
And I don't mean a little chuckle, full on hysteria. You've never seen an animal poop or pee? Better yet... you've never seen yourself poop or pee? Let's be a little more immature, shall we?
NEWS FLASH: EVERYBODY POOPS! They even wrote a book about it.
One time I had a dad collect his daughter from riding a pony and then stopped me and asked, "So, they just stop when they poop?"
Uhhh...do you keep moving when you're pooping?
4. Parents that ask, "Is that pony dead?"
Absolutely. We're still in mourning though, so could you be a little more sensitive? Of course the pony isn't dead.
Contrary to popular belief, ponies do lay down to sleep. Why would we have a dead pony in the paddock for everyone to see and still be carrying on with our business?
Come on, people.
Mainly this happens when we are trying to mount kids onto the ponies. It is impulsive for a lot of kids to want to use the stirrups. It's understandable, however we don't use them. Too many kids get on and off throughout the day to use the stirrups because it's too hard on the ponies backs, we would constantly have to adjust the saddles and the stirrups aren't fitted for every kid.
Instead, we lift the kids up if they are small enough and for the bigger ones, we have them put one arm around us, have them jump and we hoist them up the rest of the way.
When we explain to the kids how we are going to help them on, parents almost always interrupt with "PUT YOUR FOOT IN THE STIRRUP!"
Ummmm if we wanted them to do that we would tell them, thanks!
So then the kid misses everything we just told them and when we tell them to jump they put their foot in the stirrup.
And it's almost always the wrong one, anyway.
6. Hell spawn that are old enough to talk to you, but don't.
When a kid is mounted onto the pony I'm walking, I try my best to be friendly and talk to them. Sometimes it just doesn't go over too well.
The worst is the kids that are 6 and older that just ignore me.
I usually start out by introducing the pony and asking the kid what their name is. Getting a blank stare from a 9 year old after asking what their name is 3 times certainly is a blast.
Find some manners kid, I know you understand me and I know you can speak because I just heard you screaming at your brothers and sisters over who was going to go first.
We have a draft pony who is significantly larger than the others because she is part draft horse and half pony.
Admittedly, she is a bit overweight, but nothing major. People always crack jokes about her weight which isn't really a big deal, except everyone who does is 250+ lbs.
8. People who think ponies are baby horses.
No, no and no. Ponies are a different breed all together. Ponies are not horses. They are not babies and they will never "grow into horses." Not possible. No way. Sorry. I love answering the "How old is he?" question with, "Oh he's about 16" and walking away with them looking at me like I have 2 heads :)
This is all I have for now, and it's already quite a lot so I apologize! Hopefully, you guys will appreciate some of this! If it weren't for the ponies to keep me sane, who knows where I would be!
You all keep being awesome! :D
I'm sure many of you are familiar with that terrible department store known as Hellmart. Unfortunately, I've gotten sucked into the soul-destroying void. You can call me Bitch Goddess of the Gardens, or if you prefer something short and succinct, Garden Bitch will do nicely.
I have many tales of horror from the few months I've been there so far; I've found half-eaten food shoved behind product, I've found a Pepsi can full of chewed tobacco left on my shelves. My favorite custy story so far has to be the father who threatened me with a lawsuit over his hellspawn, so that's the one I'd like to share.
I work in the garden, so naturally, we have a lot of tools like rakes, shovels, shears...lots of things with little pointy bits that can cause a lot of damage. I've had cuts and bruises from most of our tools because custys refuse to handle them properly. This one takes the cake.
There are only two of us in the garden (plus the manager who is in the back room) when this happens. A “gentleman” comes in with his daughter and proceeds to chat up my increasingly uncomfortable coworker; we'll call him Oblivious Asshole and my coworker CG.
While Oblivious Asshole is hitting on CG, his hellspawn has proceeded to run around the department like a cat on speed, knocking things over and destroying displays, with me chasing her trying to corral her back to Oblivious.
Oblivious makes a couple of half-assed comments telling hellspawn to calm down, but he's not paying attention. His eyes are obviously on CG's chest and he has her effectively trapped behind the counter desperately trying to summon management. Meanwhile, hellspawn has pulled the safety plastic off of a pair of garden shears and is running around with them, brandishing them at me when I get too close and knocking things off shelves with them. At one point she managed to get outside and destroyed three fruit trees with the damn things.
This goes on for ten minutes; Oblivious still chatting up CG and me chasing hellspawn around the department. Eventually, she crashes into one of our grill displays and goes down. Unfortunately, I didn't quite catch how she manages to slice her arm with the shears, but she does a huge amount of damage to herself and is now bleeding all over me, my floors, the shears, and another custy who stopped to help me. Good Samaritan takes a brand new shirt he just purchased and hands it to me to stem the bleeding, while CG is grabbing the phone and calling for Big A (the department MOD) to have him call an ambulance.
Eventually, Oblivious realizes that we are all panicked over something and he hasn't heard his daughter screaming raucously for a few moments; he turns and sees her bleeding all over everything. Cue the screaming at me for touching his precious hellspawn, cue the ranting about how the garden staff should supervise things better (because it's totally my responsibility to watch your hellspawn while you flirt with someone who is clearly not interested), cue the threats of how he's going to sue and he should kick my ass for letting his precious little girl get hurt.....blah blah freaking blah.
Big A shows up with the paramedics and security, and Oblivious starts in on how he only turned his back for a second and clearly I attacked his hellspawn with the garden shears, and he wants me fired immediately and arrested for assault.
At which point MB (the store manager) walks up and tells Oblivious that he's watched the security footage and his hellspawn would not have gotten hurt if A) Oblivious was watching her and B) she wasn't running around threatening the staff and playing with the tools.
I haven't seen Oblivious since, but we did find out from his wife that their hellspawn needed twenty stitches and was in the hospital for a few days. She also brought Starbucks gift cards for myself, CG, and Good Samaritan for putting up with Oblivious and doing our best to get the child taken care of. And CG and I both got commendations and a bonus from MB in our next paycheck.
--Bitch Goddess of the Gardens
Kendall Jenner was an unsatisfied customer at Mercer Kitchen in Manhattan last week, prompting a sidewalk clash with her waitress. However, the restaurant maintains that the incident wouldn't have occurred had the 18-year-old budding model not tried to order alcohol.
Yahoo spoke to famed chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten, who owns Mercer Kitchen as well as 23 other restaurants worldwide, about the drama that played out with Kim Kardashian's little sister at his eatery. Waitress Blaine Morris followed the teen and her friend, Stephen Baldwin's daughter Hailey, out of the restaurant to collect money for an unpaid bill, and claimed Kendall threw the money in her face, according to a tweet posted Aug. 5 (and later deleted). Jenner has called the server's claim "absolutely ridiculous" and her lawyer has reportedly threatened legal action against the waitress.
"It's pretty much what the papers say," Jean-Georges says about the story, which first appeared in New York Post's Page Six. "They came in for dinner. They asked for drinks. We can't serve anyone under 21; we could lose our liquor license, so we can't do that no matter what. What happened is they walked out on their check. Ms. Morris, who is no longer with us, walked after them and they threw money in her face."
Jenner's attorney sent Morris, who's also an aspiring actress and appeared on MTV's Skins, acease-and-desist letter, calling her tweet "completely false, fabricated and defamatory," according to E! News. The lawyer also apparently asked for Morris to publicly apologize to Jenner.
While Jean-Georges wasn't called upon to apologize, he offered one anyway, though maintained that the entire thing could have been avoided had the teenager not tried to consume alcohol in his eatery. "We are sorry about the incident but we cannot serve alcohol to a minor, which is the bottom line," the chef says. "I apologize for the waitress going after her, but Ms. Morris was accountable for all the checks to be closed. It's an unfortunate incident. It's too bad. Hopefully they'll forget it and come back."
So the Kardashians are welcome back in his well-known restaurants? "Of course, of course! They always come in," he says. "But when it comes to the rules and regulations of the city, there is nothing we can do about it."
As for Morris, she no longer works at Mercer Kitchen. She was so upset by the incident that she left that night. Further, restaurant employees are not allowed to tweet about customers on social media, so she would have been in breach of that company policy anyway. (Morris could not be reached for comment for this story.)
Now Jean-Georges just wants to put all this behind him and focus on more important things — like food! "Both sides were upset, it was an embarrassing moment, but it is what it is," Jean-Georges says. "We try to do our best always. I came to this business 40 years ago to please people and to accommodate everybody, but sometimes [things happen] and it's unfortunate. There's not much we can do about it."
A rep for Kendall has not yet responded to Yahoo's request for comment about whether or not she was trying to obtain alcohol underage, though Kendall didn't deny that part of the story on Twitter. Instead, she tried to clarify that she didn't throw money at the waitress "or act that disrespectfully," adding, "I was raised better than that."
Employees of a Corsicana Walmart were shocked to find a teenage boy secretly living inside the store for a few days.
The teen wasn’t just hiding in the store. He built a secret hidden compound and was able to call the 24-hour store home for 2 1/2 days before being discovered.
CBS 11 News obtained exclusive photos of two campsites at the Walmart in Corsicana. One of them was on the aisle carrying baby products behind boxes of strollers. The other was behind stacks of paper towels and toilet paper.
“You never expect that you’re at Walmart and someone has been living there for four days. That’s crazy,” said Myrna Aguilar, a Walmart customer.
Customers who walked down the aisles where the teen was living never noticed two hidden compounds where the boy was able to store necessities, sleep in a makeshift bed and and eat items taken from inside the store.
He created a crack in the back wall of the drink aisle to grab juice and even collected a fish from the pet department.
The photos show the clothing that employees say the boy would change in and out of every few hours to avoid detection.
Sources said the 14-year-old was so concerned about being caught he wore diapers instead of using the store restroom.
Eventually, a trash trail led to the teen’s discovery.
This story was originally posted on: June 09, 2010
After reading The Keeper's story I thought I'd chime in with another of my tales of woe. Part of the admissions area of our zoo includes "Guest Services" where we take care of Lost and Found. Now last summer we opened a new ride.
It's a chair lift type ride that goes from one side of the zoo to the other crossing the giraffe exhibit, the cheetah exhibit, a lagoon, and our rhino exhibit.
I can't count the number of items that get dropped off this thing on a daily basis. Shoes, hats, sunglasses, you name it, usually they get brought up to us by the keepers at the end of the day or the next morning depending on when they put the animals away in the evening.
After all the flip flops that got dropped the first week we enacted a rule that anyone wearing shoes with no backs had to take them off. We also warn people about holding on to their stuff because there is a chance we may not be able to retrieve it. (Chewed up, slobbery, baby hat anyone?)
Sometimes though we would get an entitled person who just HAD to have their item back right away. Now, our rhinos are trained to go into their night time housing at a certain time each day, and there is no way in hell we would ever ever ever let a keeper into their exhibit with them still out.
One day we got a guest who is very irate because she dropped her ipod into rhino exhibit, and is not happy that she will have wait to get it back. I'm sorry we're not going to risk the lives of our staff so you can get your ipod back.
Another lady demanded we put the cheetahs away so they could find her sunglasses, and yet another guest dropped her ring, which was a family heirloom, into the lagoon.
Even with divers our lagoon is so murky you would never be able to find it. I felt kind of bad, but at the same time unless you are playing with it how does a ring that fits suddenly slip off your finger?
Then there were the stupid hell spawn. We ended up having to enact a rule that all children 12 and under had to ride with an adult.
Why? Well, that would be because they caught kids spitting at other guests and throwing things at other guests when the ride passed over a sidewalk.
They were also throwing things like popcorn and even small rocks at some of the animals. Of course, mommy was no where near the ride.
These kids were 10, 11, 12 and mommy put her hell spawn on the ride because she probably wanted a 20 minute break away from them. (The ride takes about 20-30 minutes to go round trip). I love the concept of the ride and it does give people a chance to see some of the exhibits that they usually skip (The rhinos are in the back up a steepish hill), but I could have done without all the drama that went with it.
We have a membership to a rare breeds farm where you can get up and close with many rare farm animals and do fun stuff like milking a goat or bottle feeding a calf.
It's incredibly well staffed by a great group of people, you're rarely more than a few yards from the nearest staff member. Still I find myself rescuing animals from stupid people on a regular basis.
Last week we were there and I saw a kid pick a six day old goat up by his head. I heard it scream, turned around, then dropped down to grab it under the chest and butt while telling the girl to let go.
The nearest staff member was maybe six yards away, but I'm pretty sure a baby goat could still get hurt pretty bad in those few seconds of being held like that.