Welcome once again to Story Time about the D-GAS Scrub store, and the glorious tales described within! Reminder: D-GAS means Don't Give A Shit.
Our store was falling apart after nine months of not having a manager. By the way, I don't know how malls work, but I'm assuming the mall had an account with the company itself, otherwise we worked there rent free for 10 months... None of us lowly retail slaves knew anything about bills.
The lights were going out one by one, and having no one to order or install new ones, the store was getting progressively darker. But that wasn't even the most joyous part of it.
Our store gate was electronic, and you unlocked the door itself, then stuck a key in a lock embedded in the wall and turned it just so to get the mall gate to rise. Guess what happened? If you guessed that "gate work bad no," have a cookie!
I come in for my opening shift (no managers, so I just took a copy of the store key home with me from my previous shift) stick the key in the lock ON the door and unlock it. Then I stick the key in the wall and turn it to the "open" position.
Normally the gate makes this huge WHUMMMMM CLATTER CLATTER CLATTER sound as the gate rises. I do not hear this. Instead, I hear an itty bitty whirrrrr like a can opener and nothing's moving.
Me: "... fuck shit damn another thing broken?!"
I skitter around to the back door, unlock it, turn off the alarm and turn on the lights.
Me: "Okay, maybe it's just unhappy with me..?"
I approach the gate from inside the store, stick the key in THAT lock, and turn it to the "open" position.
So now what do I do? I can't get the gate open, I'm the only one here till noon, and there's no way I'm going to direct custys through the back hallway to our back door. Nor will I let them go tromping through our extremely cluttered and unsecured back room past my unsecured purse. It's 8:45am, the stores open at 9am, and I'm at a loss.
I call Mall Maintenance, and their rendition of "help" is to tell me to call the store's/company's contracted maintenance company to fix it. "Oh and for every day that you don't get the gate open, we will be charging your store $1,000."
*siiiiggghhh* I already know what kind of answer I'm going to get, but I put a call in to the Useless Manager at a sister store.
Me: Hey, we've got a problem in store ###, the front gate won't open.
Useless Manager: So call mall maintenance.
Me: I did, they said to call the company that our company has on call, but I don't know what that number is.
Useless Manager: It should be posted somewhere in your store. Just ask a manager.
Me: *annoyed* I AM asking a manager. Our store doesn't have one at our location. We've been without one for almost a year now. Look, will you please just check your back room and give me the number for the company we're supposed to be contracted with?
Useless Manager: Why can't you stop waiting for someone to hold your hand and just look yourself?!
Me: *pissed* And where would that be? The empty Rolodex on the counter or in the locked desk that no one has a key to?! The mall is going to charge [Store] $1,000 PER DAY that we don't get that gate open!
Useless Manager: *huff puff grumble growl sigh* All right. Please hold. *click*
I'm waiting on hold for 20 minutes (it's officially 30 minutes past the time the store should have opened) and I keep having to call out to custys at the gate that we're having technical difficulties.
Useless Manager: *click* We don't have a company contracted. The mall is responsible for all maintenance on your location.
Me; "Mall maintenance said that we are responsible."
Useless Manager: "You're not. They are. Stop being such a pushover and make them do their job." *hangs up on me*
Random Custy: So when will you guys open?
Me: "I guess whenever they fix the gate."
Random Custy 2: "And when will that be?"
Me: "Your guess is as good as mine."
I call Mall Maintenance and get someone else, who shows up to have a look at the gate. He asks for the key, sticks it in the lock.
Mall Maintenance Man: "Yep, something's wrong with the motor." He hands the key back to me and stares expectantly at me.
Me: "Sooo.. what do I do?"
Mall Maintenance Man: "Call somebody to fix it."
Me (I swear in a cartoon my eyeballs would have turned into tombstones): "So that would be you. When will you fix the gate?"
Him: "I dunno. I'll file a work order. We'll get to it when we can."
Me: "You know they charge the store $1,000 a day for every day that the store doesn't get opened..."
Him: "Yep they do. Guess you better hope someone comes to fix your gate soon then."
Oh hey look, a cartoon volcano just went off over my head.
Me: "I see."
I grab a pen and paper, scribble down his name and smile at him with all the friendliness of a cobra looking at a tasty looking bird.
Me: "I'll be documenting everything you've said and done today, as well as anything and everything you either do, or fail to do, until the door gets repaired. We will then dispute all of the charges in court and provide evidence that you are actively refusing to do a job that you are contracted to do. I'm quite sure that this will be extremely messy both on YOUR head, and on the Mall's head. Have a nice day sir."
He fled like his tail feathers were on fire. A repairman appeared at 11am, got the door fixed by noon and we were in business again. It only took two hours, RHU's 3D's, the threat of court-related problems and fallout on his personal head to get it taken care of.
Memorable Custy Quotes from that day:
"You're about the same size as me, just model them. If I like the look of them on you, I'll pass my card through the gate and you just ring them up and then run them out to me." (Ew, creepy, no.)
"Just open the gate a few inches and pass one out to me. I'll try it on in the public bathroom and buy them if I like them." (1) gate doesn't open at all. 2) What the flying fuck? Do you potential NATS seriously think I'm going to do THAT?!)
"But I need scrubs! What am I supposed to do?!" (Go to our sister store.)
"But I don't want to drive all the way to [sister store!] Just open the gate and let me in!" (To be fair, the next store was a good 30 minute drive away. But again, gate no workie.)
May all your companies be more competent than this.