Retail Hell Underground

Kristen Bell's LOL Spoof on Mary Poppins Quitting Her Job Because of Low Pay

 

Kristen Bell is hilarious in this Mary Poppins send up that has her quitting her nanny job because of the low salary. Instead of "just a spoonful of sugar..." she sings "Just a $3 dollar increase..." It's so funny and clever from start to finish! 

 

 

 

 

Return To The D-GAS Scrub Store Shenannigans

 

Welcome once again to Story Time about the D-GAS Scrub store, and the glorious tales described within! Reminder: D-GAS means Don't Give A Shit.

Our store was falling apart after nine months of not having a manager. By the way, I don't know how malls work, but I'm assuming the mall had an account with the company itself, otherwise we worked there rent free for 10 months... None of us lowly retail slaves knew anything about bills.

The lights were going out one by one, and having no one to order or install new ones, the store was getting progressively darker. But that wasn't even the most joyous part of it.

Our store gate was electronic, and you unlocked the door itself, then stuck a key in a lock embedded in the wall and turned it just so to get the mall gate to rise. Guess what happened? If you guessed that "gate work bad no," have a cookie!

I come in for my opening shift (no managers, so I just took a copy of the store key home with me from my previous shift) stick the key in the lock ON the door and unlock it. Then I stick the key in the wall and turn it to the "open" position.

Normally the gate makes this huge WHUMMMMM CLATTER CLATTER CLATTER sound as the gate rises. I do not hear this. Instead, I hear an itty bitty whirrrrr like a can opener and nothing's moving.

Me: "... fuck shit damn another thing broken?!"

I skitter around to the back door, unlock it, turn off the alarm and turn on the lights.

Me: "Okay, maybe it's just unhappy with me..?"

I approach the gate from inside the store, stick the key in THAT lock, and turn it to the "open" position.

Whirrrrr....

So now what do I do? I can't get the gate open, I'm the only one here till noon, and there's no way I'm going to direct custys through the back hallway to our back door. Nor will I let them go tromping through our extremely cluttered and unsecured back room past my unsecured purse. It's 8:45am, the stores open at 9am, and I'm at a loss.

I call Mall Maintenance, and their rendition of "help" is to tell me to call the store's/company's contracted maintenance company to fix it. "Oh and for every day that you don't get the gate open, we will be charging your store $1,000."

*siiiiggghhh* I already know what kind of answer I'm going to get, but I put a call in to the Useless Manager at a sister store.

Me: Hey, we've got a problem in store ###, the front gate won't open.

Useless Manager: So call mall maintenance.

Me: I did, they said to call the company that our company has on call, but I don't know what that number is.

Useless Manager: It should be posted somewhere in your store. Just ask a manager.

Me: *annoyed* I AM asking a manager. Our store doesn't have one at our location. We've been without one for almost a year now. Look, will you please just check your back room and give me the number for the company we're supposed to be contracted with?

Useless Manager: Why can't you stop waiting for someone to hold your hand and just look yourself?!

Me: *pissed* And where would that be? The empty Rolodex on the counter or in the locked desk that no one has a key to?! The mall is going to charge [Store] $1,000 PER DAY that we don't get that gate open!

Useless Manager: *huff puff grumble growl sigh* All right. Please hold. *click*

I'm waiting on hold for 20 minutes (it's officially 30 minutes past the time the store should have opened) and I keep having to call out to custys at the gate that we're having technical difficulties.

Useless Manager: *click* We don't have a company contracted. The mall is responsible for all maintenance on your location.

Me; "Mall maintenance said that we are responsible."

Useless Manager: "You're not. They are. Stop being such a pushover and make them do their job." *hangs up on me*

Me: ... *facepalm*

Random Custy: So when will you guys open?

Me: "I guess whenever they fix the gate."

Random Custy 2: "And when will that be?"

Me: "Your guess is as good as mine."

I call Mall Maintenance and get someone else, who shows up to have a look at the gate. He asks for the key, sticks it in the lock.

Whirrrrrrrr.

Mall Maintenance Man: "Yep, something's wrong with the motor." He hands the key back to me and stares expectantly at me.

Me: "Sooo.. what do I do?"

Mall Maintenance Man: "Call somebody to fix it."

Me (I swear in a cartoon my eyeballs would have turned into tombstones): "So that would be you. When will you fix the gate?"

Him: "I dunno. I'll file a work order. We'll get to it when we can."

Me: "You know they charge the store $1,000 a day for every day that the store doesn't get opened..."

Him: "Yep they do. Guess you better hope someone comes to fix your gate soon then."

Oh hey look, a cartoon volcano just went off over my head.

Me: "I see."

I grab a pen and paper, scribble down his name and smile at him with all the friendliness of a cobra looking at a tasty looking bird.

Me: "I'll be documenting everything you've said and done today, as well as anything and everything you either do, or fail to do, until the door gets repaired. We will then dispute all of the charges in court and provide evidence that you are actively refusing to do a job that you are contracted to do. I'm quite sure that this will be extremely messy both on YOUR head, and on the Mall's head. Have a nice day sir."

He fled like his tail feathers were on fire. A repairman appeared at 11am, got the door fixed by noon and we were in business again. It only took two hours, RHU's 3D's, the threat of court-related problems and fallout on his personal head to get it taken care of.

Memorable Custy Quotes from that day:

"You're about the same size as me, just model them. If I like the look of them on you, I'll pass my card through the gate and you just ring them up and then run them out to me." (Ew, creepy, no.)

"Just open the gate a few inches and pass one out to me. I'll try it on in the public bathroom and buy them if I like them." (1) gate doesn't open at all. 2) What the flying fuck? Do you potential NATS seriously think I'm going to do THAT?!)

"But I need scrubs! What am I supposed to do?!" (Go to our sister store.)

"But I don't want to drive all the way to [sister store!] Just open the gate and let me in!" (To be fair, the next store was a good 30 minute drive away. But again, gate no workie.)

May all your companies be more competent than this.

 

 

Hy-Vee Supermarket Fail

 

 

 From Reddit

 

 

 

 

Solar Powered Calculators In The Dark

 

From: Mcarp555

Many years ago my first retail experience was with a (now defunct) big box catalog showroom we'll call 'Mervis Searchendise'.

All our registers had an 'emergency power outage kit' so we could keep ringing orders if the power went out. It contained manual register forms, pens, a tax table to figure out sales tax, and a calculator.

One day the power did go out, and except for the feeble emergency lights, it was pitch black because as a big box, there were no windows other than the front entrance and exit doors.

All the department cashiers broke out their emergency kits, only to find that ALL THE CALCULATORS WERE SOLAR POWERED!!! Apparently HQ did this so we wouldn't have to concern ourselves with dead batteries.

As I worked in the department that carried calculators, we had a sudden rush of cashiers frantic for our display case of non-solar models. Luckily when the lights came back on we were able to get all the displays back.

Needless to say, we never used the emergency kits again.

--Mcarp555

 

 

Airport Hell: South African Airways Pilot Gets Arrested For Stripping in Protest Over Airport Searches

From Daily Mail:

A South African Airways pilot stripped to his underwear in front of crew and passengers in protest over rigorous airport searches.

Captain W Van Ginkel, who was about to board the airline's Flight SA 025 jet to fly to Johannesburg, reportedly removed all his clothes except his pants at Harare International Airport, Zimbabwe.

He was immediately arrested for incident exposure, meaning 90 passengers were delayed for five hours while a new pilot was called in.

The incident happened after the metal detector beeped as the captain walked through it – so he was asked to remove his shoes and try again, but it still beeped, according to NewZimbabwe.com.

He was then asked to remove his belt, but the detector went off again. 

As security officials frisked Ginkel, he became frustrated and stripped down to his pants – in front of staff, crew and passengers.

The pilot walked through the metal detector, but was arrested by pilot for indecent exposure.

A police spokesman said Ginkel was later fined for ‘criminal nuisance’ and released.

via www.dailymail.co.uk

Security outrage: The incident took place at Harare International Airport, Zimbabwe 

 

 

Walmart Doesn't Care About It's Own Workers Let Alone War Vets: Former Employee and Disabled Veteran Writes About How Hellmart is Anything But Veteran-Friendly

 

 

 

From Salon.com:

By Wally Lyn

I'm a disabled Army veteran and former WalMart employee. The company claims it's pro-veteran? Here's the sick truth.

The Fourth of July is a time to cherish our independence. Enjoy fireworks. Be with our families. And hear more insulting mistruths from Wal-Mart about how it “respects” our veterans.

I am a disabled Army veteran and former Wal-Mart employee. I worked for four years at Wal-Mart store No. 2059 in Greensburg, Pennsylvania, as a service writer for the Tire & Lube Express division.

Despite the company’s purported commitment to honor veterans and provide us with quality job opportunities over the next five years, my experience at the retailer was a nightmare.

I served my country honorably, made countless sacrifices, and my managers didn’t care that I was a veteran. In fact, the only time management asked if any of us were veterans was last year on Memorial Day. Wal-Mart, as part of what I believe was nothing more than a shallow attempt to appear veteran-friendly that day, wanted us to wear a badge around the store to prove they were honoring their commitments.

But the dirty little secret is Wal-Mart is not veteran-friendly.

Most of my time at the company was spent justifying my needed visits to the doctor. Every time I stood up for my right to take off for medical treatment, my manager would use my disability against me and take away the electric cart I had to use to get around or make me walk around the building to exit or enter the store.

And then last November, on my way to work, I tried to save the lives of several people from a gunman who was behaving erratically and waving a gun at a busy intersection. I still went to work my shift at Wal-Mart. The very next day, I was abruptly fired for making an 18 cent mistake on a workers’ discount card. My manager knew what happened the day before, but it didn’t matter.

Wal-Mart says it values and respects our veterans, but I didn’t feel valued or respected that day I was fired without any regard for my service to my country or the company all those years — or to my community the day before.

Let me be clear: I didn’t want special treatment or recognition when I worked at Wal-Mart. But I did want to be respected. Instead I felt humiliated. I felt disposable. I felt duped.

Respect to me means having access to full-time hours and decent wages and benefits. Respect to me means working with good managers who will listen and respect my opinion instead of retaliating against me for speaking up for my right to medical care.

I knew I might have to fight overseas, but I didn’t expect that I’d need to fight here at home for respect and decent pay at the country’s largest employer — just so I could pay the bills. When I was fired, I was only making $9 an hour.

I know a better Wal-Mart is possible and I’m willing to fight for it. That’s why I became a member of the Organization United for Respect at Walmart (OUR Walmart), the group of current and former Wal-Mart associates who are united to make Wal-Mart a better place to work. We are calling on Wal-Mart to publicly commit to pay its workers a minimum of $25,000 a year for full-time work so associates can support and provide for their families. We are also calling for an end to illegal retaliation against workers who speak out for a better life and improved working conditions.

Recently, I traveled to Bentonville, Arkansas, with other OUR Walmart members — including a number of fellow veterans and striking Wal-Mart moms — to attend the company’s annual shareholders meeting to tell company leaders and shareholders that we urgently need a change of direction. We need change because Wal-Mart’s business model and empty promises are hurting workers and our communities.

Veterans from every American generation have put their lives on the line for our country, and it’s an insult that our country’s largest private employer pays us back with poverty jobs and erratic schedules that make it impossible to raise our families.

Wal-Mart veterans have had enough of the company taking advantage of our service for their public relations campaigns. If Wal-Mart really wants to honor us, it’s time to invest in us so we can support ourselves and our families.

via www.salon.com

 

 

New Time Warner Trucks

 

 

From Reddit

 

 

Benjamin Moore Paints Being Sued by Former Black Employee Because They Used His Name As a Paint Color and Fired Him

From Huff Po:

A black man in New Jersey has filed a lawsuit against his former employer, Benjamin Moore Paints, which he says named one of its paint colors after him and then fired him when he complained.

Clinton Tucker, who managed online sales for Benjamin Moore, which is owned by the conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway, said that he was bothered by the names of several of the company’s paint colors, “Clinton Brown,” “Tucker Chocolate,” and “Confederate Red.”

“Being a black man named Clinton Tucker, the plaintiff found this to be extremely racially offensive,” reads the complaint, filed in Essex County Court.

Tucker claims that the company’s executive management were aware of his displeasure with the color names, but failed to take his complaints seriously and then terminated — allegedly unlawfully — him in March 2014.

Tucker worked on a project to create a new line of paint colors. One of the shades was given the name “Tucker Chocolate.”

The company already had a color named “Clinton Brown.” A co-worker pointed out the names of the two paint colors, which together contained Tucker’s first and last name, and thought it was funny, according to the lawsuit.

“Tucker found it to be repulsive,” the complaint reads.

“Coupled with ‘Tucker Chocolate,’ it was racially offensive and demeaning to Clinton Tucker.”

Tucker claims that in a meeting in which employees were asked about their favorite Benjamin Moore colors, he turned to a supervisor and said “well you know my least favorite colors.”

A colleague then spoke up, saying “if you think that is bad, what about Confederate Red?”

“Confederate Red” is another Benjamin Moore paint whose name seemingly references the southern side of the U.S. Civil War.

“Despite Mr. Tucker’s repeated complaints and protestations to [Benjamin Moore] management about these appallingly racial color names, no action was ever taken,” Tucker’s suit reads, pointing out that the company still sells the paint colors at its stores and online.

Tucker made other allegations, including that the company has a “toxic” work environment that is hostile to minorities.

Tucker, who identifies himself in the suit as homosexual, claims that since he started at the company in 2011, “it was clear…that he was not part of the traditional culture of the company.”

Approximately 10 of Benjamin Moore’s New Jersey headquarters’ employees were black and only one was homosexual, the suit claims.

The 34 year-old Tucker, who had nine years of work experience in online retail marketing, also says that the company denied him promotions and opportunities for growth while promoting whites.

His boss ignored an email Tucker sent requesting to be able to take off work to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the suit claims.

“This request was ignored and [the director of digital marketing], just mockingly smirked at the plaintiff on Martin Luther King holiday.”

Following that incident, Tucker alleges that he was demoted and given fewer responsibilities while white co-workers were given promotions.

Tucker claims that he was unlawfully terminated in March 2014.

His suit accuses Benjamin Moore of discrimination, a hostile work environme

environment, and retaliation and seeks compensatory and punitive damages.

The Daily Caller contacted Tucker’s attorney, Charles Schalk to clarify the accusations.

“Yes, the allegation is the colors were named after my client,” Schalk told TheDC.

On its website, Benjamin Moore describes “Tucker Chocolate” as “capturing the 1798 color requested by St. George Tucker for his home facing Courthouse Green, this deep brown is classic and understated.”

Benjamin Moore Paints did not return TheDC’s request for comment.

via news.yahoo.com

 

 

Hellmart Revenge: Canadian Walmart Workers Win Compensation

 

From Huff Po:

OTTAWA, Ontario (AP) — Canada's Supreme Court ruled Friday that Wal-Mart must compensate former workers at a Quebec store that was closed after they voted to become the first Wal-Mart store in North America to unionize.

The high court ruled in 2009 that Wal-Mart was entitled to close the store in Jonquiere in 2005, seven months after workers voted to unionize. But the workers filed a new case that said Wal-Mart contravened a section of Quebec labor law, which says working conditions must not be altered in any way, shape or form during a unionization process.

The court ruled in a five-to-two decision that the world's largest retailer modified working conditions for the employees without a valid reason when it shut down. The court ruled an arbiter will determine appropriate reparations, possibly with damages and interest. The store never re-opened.

The Arkansas-based company opened its Jonquiere store in 2001. In September 2004, the United Food and Commercial Workers Union was certified to represent employees of the store.

Wal-Mart closed the store in April 2005, just before an arbitrator was to impose a collective agreement for the 190 recently unionized employees.

A spokesman for Wal-Mart Canada said Friday the company will consider its options.

"We are disappointed by the decision," the company wrote in an email.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

 

 

 

EPA Employees Asked To Stop Pooping in the Hallways

 

 

From Daily What:

In an e-mail obtained by Government Executive, employees at the EPA were told to shape up after reported incident of feces being placed outside an office bathroom. Administrator Howard Cantor said "Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals." Poop shenanigan-doers, beware!

This comes after numerous other EPA misconduct incidents, including one employee pretending to be a CIA agent to get unlimited vacation time and another fessing up to spending as many as 6 hours a day watching naughty internet bits. Hats off to the Environmental Protection Agency though, it takes guts to be this blatantly incompetent and wasteful.

Here's Huffington Post's piece on the poopy situation with some more detail:

via thedailywhat.cheezburger.com

 

 

EPA Employees Asked To Stop Pooping In The Hallway