I have thought many times, about writing something like this. And after a long stressful day at work, I decided to actually sit down and do it. Let me start off by listing my qualifications to make these statements. My name is Daynielle, and if you didn't know that, then you're either stupid or blind cause I'm pretty sure my name is at the top of this. I have worked in the fast food industry for over 8 years now, specifically DD/BR and have managed two stores during that time. Both locations I have managed have done great business, and had a very busy drive thru. Below, I will list several things that may have been unknown to you, the customer, until now.
1) Every Drive Thru is being TIMED. Yes, Timed. For DD/BR locations, we have 2 minutes and 30 seconds to move you from where you place your order, to about 7 feet from the pick up window. We are not only being timed, but we are being graded based on those times. My management skills are judged based on my ability to move that line. While I care that your kids don't starve to death, they are not my kids, and you need to wait to feed them until you get the fuck out of my line.
2) You are not my only customer. I know, it's hard to grasp that you are not the center of my world, or even of my employment. You are one, of thousands of customers I will serve in one day. While me and my staff all do our best to give each customer 110%, please keep in mind that we are also worrying about the 3 cars in front of you, and the countless cars behind you. Cut us some slack.
3) If I sound like I am rushing you, I'm not. If I sound like I am rushing you, I'm not rushing you, I'm just rushing. While taking your order, I am showing one employee where she can find more taster spoons for Baskin, I am watching the cashier in the front charge someone for something they didn't ask for, Watching to make sure the cashier is giving out the right product at the window, and of course - watching to make sure my timer hasn't gone into the red. Do I want you to hurry up? Yes. Do I mean to rush you? No. Even if the employee is not management, they are dealing with the stress of their manager watching them while preparing the orders in front of you and subsequently taking your order as well.
4) A Drive Thru, is not a restaurant. Drive Thru locations were invented to create quick and easy service to those who are on the go. If you are ordering 40$ worth of food, or 4 milkshakes in 4 different flavors, PLEASE come inside the store where I can better serve you. If you can't possibly do that, then if I ask you to pull to the side and wait for your order there, please do it. No good will come of my staff running around trying to get you 20 minutes worth of product in 2 minutes and 30 seconds. My store will end up in shambles, and the majority of your order will be wrong or cold, because they were rushing. It's a lose lose situation. Rest assured, it will get done just as fast than if you didn't move. It will simply free the line for those who don't wish to be 20 minutes late to work because you're ordering breakfast for your flock of children.
5) They don't pay me enough to deal with your nasty attitude. As the store manager, I get paid the most in the store. Even I don't get paid enough to deal with the attitude and stress of whatever happened to you before you got here. So certainly, my mostly minimum wage staff does not make enough to deal with you. Please, keep your nasty attitude for someone who has vowed to love you unconditionally forever like your mother or your husband. I, for one, do not love you, I don't even know you, and I just think you are being a douche.
6) If you don't want something, don't say it. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, Do not ask me for a LARGE COFFEE MILK NO SUGAR. Trust me, if you just say milk, I will know you don't want sugar. I will not take the extra 10 seconds needed to mark sugar on your cup and dispense the sugar, when you didn't want it. All you do by telling me you didn't want it, is say sugar. While I may have heard you say NO SUGAR, the girl making your coffee may have only heard SUGAR. And guess what? Now you got sugar.
7) If you ask for a second, Take just that. Please do not ask for a second, and then proceed to sit there for 3 minutes calling all of your co-workers to see if they want something. If you cared about them enough to want to buy them coffee, asking them BEFORE you pulled up the store, probably would have been ideal. I will give you 30 seconds, before I ask for your order again.
8) You don't sound cute, and even if you do - We don't care. This goes out mostly to the ladies, please stop making your voice higher and carrying out the endings to words. We know you don't talk like that in real life, We are probably making fun of you as you order, and you don't sound even 10% as cute as you think you do. "CAN I HAVE A MEDIUM ICEDD CAR-AH-MEL LATTE-AYYY WITH SKIM MILKKKKKKK?" NO, YOU MAY FUCKING NOT.
9) You are probably ordering wrong. Yes, You. You might think that you are, but you most likely are not actually ordering the way you should be. A LatteLite at DD, consists of sugar free caramel flavor, skim milk, and splenda. Ordering an Iced Latte Lite, with caramel swirl, one sugar, and whole milk .. is just going to make things confusing. Chocolate glazed, and chocolate frosted are two different donuts. A plain stick, is not called a cruller. A coffee roll is not a donut. We don't sell one munchkin. You can't have a half decaf latte. I could go on and on and on. I take the time, because I want to please you, to attempt to get the bottom of what you want. Alas, I am not a mind reader and may not be able to give you exactly what you thought you ordered. But please have patience, believe me - it is much more frustrating for me, than it is for you.
10) If we say no, it's because the answer is no. Especially at DD, and I have to assume at most places, the number one priority is you, the customer. Why? Because to us, you are dollar signs. More dollars to my boss, eventually means more dollars to me, So I want to take as much of your money as possible. Simple economics. So trust me, If I tell you I don't have it or I can't do it - It's because I can't. While I would like to sell you 5 Tuna Sandwiches cut in half, I can't because I am not allowed to slice tuna for health reasons. While I would love to take your half empty cup into the window and throw it out, I can't because the car behind you doesn't want to be served their order with the same hands I just handled your garbage with. Don't ask me three more times, or question me if I am sure. I wouldn't have said it, if I wasn't sure.
11) TIP YOUR BARISTA. I take thousands of customers a day, and you are but one of those people. While I may not know your name, or even have ever seen your face, I will remember your order if you are a regular. Sitting here now, at 6:16 at night, I can tell you what my first three orders of the day tomorrow will be. TIPPING regulars will always get the freshest pot, the quickest service, the hook ups, the discounts, etc. NON TIPPING regulars will wait in line like everyone else, receive the bottom of the pot if thats what I have, and will pay full price all the time. It's that simple. If you aren't a regular, leave the 9 cents change. It's going to end up on the floor of your car, and it will seriously just make our day because it really is the thought that counts.
12) Do not say "Hello?!". This is a drive thru, Not a telephone. Do not say hello. Just fucking don't. The store didn't fall apart between the car in front of you, and now. We are here, and we CAN hear you. If I am not taking your order, it's because I'm not ready. Do you really want me to take your order if I am not ready to do so? I can promise you, you don't.
13) Have your money ready. Why, you mean, you need me to pay for this ... Now? Forgive me if I am wrong, but when you go to get food, you generally go there knowing you have to pay for that food. Please have your wallet out. When I say "2.10, drive up to the window for me!" that does not mean to try to beat that last level of Candy Crush, text your side piece, and fix your mascara. That means HAVE TWO DOLLARS AND TEN CENTS OUT WHEN YOU GET TO THE DAMN WINDOW.
14) I can ruin your whole day, without breaking any laws. I learned a long time ago, not to argue with customers. You wanted caffeine in your coffee? Shouldn't have been a bitch! Oops, did I just press FRENCH VANILLA and BOX by accident? Oh well. Oh, She wanted 2 Splenda? I thought she said TEN. Oops! Are you sure you didn't want didn't want a half full cup of burnt decaf coffee with ten times the regular amount of flavor in it? Cause that's what you just got. While DD employees mostly know better than to argue or be nasty to a customer, we have adapted to giving you exactly what you asked for, in the worst way possible. Don't piss off your barista - We'll just smile and give you decaf! :)
15) Know where you are. Contrary to popular belief, I don't know everything there is to know about coffee. I know everything there is know about DUNKIN DONUTS. Please do not ask me for an Iced Vanilla Chai Tea Latte. I have Vanilla Chai. It comes hot, medium, and it's not a latte. I can't tell you how many times I received an attitude after not knowing what the Dunkin Donut's equivalent of Starbucks beverage is. We don't have McMuffins, Crossandwichs, McGriddles .. and no, I don't have anything "like that sandwich from ______". Half of the time, I genuinely don't know what the hell you are talking about and the other half of the time, I'm playing stupid because I think you're an ass. Either way, it's a lose lose. I don't know how to make an Americano, I don't have Lemonade to put into your Iced Green Tea, and no one even knows what the hell a frappe is!
16) Don't just take the time to reach out when it's negative. Most fast food restaurants include a survey on the bottom of your receipt to leave your comments about your experience at my store. PLEASE feel free to take the survey when you received good service, when your coffee was so perfect you took a picture, when my crew goes above and beyond for you. People rarely take the time out to give feedback when their experience was extraordinary but are quick to belittle every visit they've ever had at my location based on one bad experience. Corporate really does get them. So does my stores owner. As well as myself. And we take them seriously. If you have a legitimate complaint, please do, I want to fix it. But I also want to reward my staff for the hundreds of customers a day that they don't piss off. Please allow me to do that.
Anyone and everyone who has worked in the drive thru at DD, or anywhere for that matter, knows that what I am saying is very real. If you as the customer, did your part, to simply have some drive thru etiquette - we will both have a better day. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, even us. Please give us the benefit of the doubt the same way you would yourself. No sense in coming to get your meal, getting pissed off, pissing someone else off, and paying for burnt decaf coffee after a night of the baby crying and the alarm went off an hour too early. We know, your rushing to work, you had a bad night, your husband is a dick .. but we don't fucking care. And we just wanna do our job!
It's definitely few and far between, because aside from a few crustys not knowing how to properly form a line or wait while I'm on the phone with a customer asking about products or calling back to talk about the products they sampled, it's pretty decent. My hand to God, I have never run into a hellaciously bad customer working in cosmetics.
The co-workers, however, are a whole 'nother story.
With my store being as small as it is, 'promotions' are so common you can hardly call them that. It's more job duties for the same amount of money, and in our store, we have a whole bunch of Cash Supervisors to cash people out at the end of the night.
We have one guy in particular I absolutely loathe. The only person in the entire store, in fact, that I cannot stand to be around. Dude just makes me want to take a nail file and hope that if I stab myself far enough in the eye it'll hit my brain and kill me, and trust me, I'm not the only one.
Management hates him so much (I'm going to call him Dipshit, for short) that they schedule him once a week, if that, and when they do, it's always for 6-hour closing shifts, hoping that he'll quit and they wont have to deal with the awkward business of firing him, because the Store Manager just straight up hates firing people. It's weird, I know, but I'd rather have a manager who hates firing people, rather than one that goes trigger-happy over it.
Anyway, I happened to be closing in cosmetics one of the nights that Dipshit is working. Around 11:30pm, it comes time for me to write in the cosmetics communications binder everything I did that night (which displays were cleaned, what got faced, tagged, etc.), and while I'm doing this, Dipshit is wandering around the stores, not even bothering to stay near the registers, essentially making the exit one screaming neon sign for shoplifters, but I digress.
He wanders over to my department, makes a few dramatic sighs and looks at the time, makes a half-assed attempt at conversation (I think) by saying there's only half an hour left, and it's so boring working midnights, followed by more heavy, almost pity-seeking sighing.
I am having none of that. I used to work 35 hours a week at my old job, and every single one of my shifts were until midnight, and then had to take the bus home after that. I have no sympathy for a kid who gets one midnight shift a week, lives a block from the store but still gets picked up by his parents. I'm sorry, but I don't. Even when I'm rolling my eyes on the inside, I decide that I don't care enough to start some stupid workplace feud, and agree, but say something along the lines of "Yeah, you get used to it, though. It's not as bad as it could be."
I thought my reply was pretty tame. Nice, even.
What does Dipshit respond back with?
"Yeah, must be nice to get paid to sit around and look pretty," and then wandered away.
Excuse me? Yeah, I think I look pretty fucking flawless too, but that's because I'm getting paid to show customers what they can achieve with makeup, and let's not forget all the knowledge that comes with the job. Does this punk know what Retinol is? What Hyaluronic Acid is, and what they both do? Does he know what products are organic, which ones are vegan, which ones are cruelty free? Does this fucking Dipshit know what foundation works best for what skin types?
I was so furious I couldn't even talk, and was still fuming about it the next day when I mentioned it to one of the other cosmeticians. She was so angry I thought she might break the display case from slamming her hands on it so hard.
I don't think I should be so mean to him, though. After all, it must be so hard getting paid to sit around and put coins on a scale that counts them for you.
Whellp, I've now been wet-farted upon by a pair of ass cheeks and a sphincter so mighty that I am in awe of the soft brown log he has disgorged. (Translation: a huge asshole yelled at me at work.)
I work in DudeNameCrafts during the Unholy O'clock hours, to stock shelves. It's a few days before Valentines Day, so what are we doing? If you guessed Easter Shit, congratulations!
I'm stocking crap with two other coworkers, W and J. It is all peaceful and happy. J asks me to take a U-Boat (read: a kind of narrow, flat cart) full of overstock into the back to get it out of the way. We'll load it onto the conveyor belt to transport it to the second floor in just a few minutes.
Suddenly a Wild Asshole appears in the tall grass! Fight, Magic, Item Or Run?
Too late! Suddenly Asshole Attacks!
He's talking to a truck driver about a Framing shipment (Asshole's department) when he sees me coming in with the U Boat. In a nasty, rapid fire angry voice he barrages me:
Asshole: "What is that? What are you doing with that? Is that Upstock? I want to know what you're doing!"
Maybe if you fucking shut up long enough for me to answer, maybe you'd get that answer!
Me: "Yes Asshole, it's Upstock. I'm just putting it by the conveyor belt for a few minutes, then we're going to start taking it upstairs."
Well if that's the mood you're in, I'mma just avoid you as much as possible...
I go back out onto the floor and help stock a bit more, then I'm asked to take the second U Boat full of garbage to the back. Oh boy...
The truck has since left. All the store's U Boats and Shark Cages (think big, flat bed, roll around carts with a grid of bars on all sides) are stashed back here leaving only a narrow aisle to traverse to the compactor.
The compactor's door is locked, and it has been declared that the compactor is broken (again). This means that for at least 24 hours, nobody can put shit into the compactor. Aaaand GUESS WHO is standing at the far end of the narrow aisle, close to the compactor!
Fuck it, I throw up my hands in defeat. Asshole is in a bad mood and our orders are to put the cardboard trash in a shark cage when/if the compactor is broken. I'm not going to go all the way down that narrow aisle with an awkward U Boat and risk Asshole getting on my case because I'm crowding him or something. I just start putting the trash in a shark cage.
Asshole uses Roar! Ilia is temporarily deaf!
Asshole: "Do you mind telling me why you're putting garbage in the shark tank that far away from the compactor?!"
He storms past me.
Me: "You yell at me for everything else, anyway."
He spins around: "Do I have to go tell [manager] that you're mouthing off behind my back?!"
I wasn't mouthing off "behind your back," fuck brain, you were right there. I was telling you (almost) to your face that you're a hostile asshole.
I look him straight in the eyes: "I wasn't aware that you had gone that far. Asshole, you yell at me for everything, you hiss at me for everything, you snap at me for everything."
Asshole: "I yell at you because you always do things wrong!" *storms off*
Bullshit, he's yelled at me since my second day working when he yelled out, "You were doing it that way before, but now I'm here and you're going to do it MY WAY!" (Which means exactly what we've been doing before his ugly attitude showed up anyway.)
Coworker who was witness to the whole thing: "Don't even worry about it. We all fucking hate him, and he's got customer complaints enough to paper a wall. We try to avoid him, but if he's like that, the best thing you can do is look him in the eye and tell him off just like you did. They won't fire him, but they also know we all call him on his hostile bullying when he pulls it."
I hope and pray that Asshole doesn't have a wife or child...
I've never worked in a restaurant, but recently, about six months ago or so, my CEO and I took our board of directors out for dinner prior to a board meeting.
One of the board members (hereafter known as Asshat) asked about the pecan trout, and the waiter was totally clear with him. He said it was excellent but it was also not something he'd recommend to anyone who didn't really, really like pecans, because it was basically just completely covered in chopped pecans and practically nothing else - every millimeter of it.
So Asshat ordered it... and then of course when it arrived, pitched a fit because, he "didn't expect it to be THAT many pecans."
Even though the waiter was super clear, and one person had actually changed their mind because she wanted a more subtle pecan crusted dish, he somehow didn't get the memo. And yet, because of the description, I practically expected the fish to come out in an actual pecan shell.
This was someone new to our board, so we had no basis of history to expect this. It. Was. Awful. And then.... when he sent it back and our Board Chair, rather mildly said, "Sorry, and thanks."
The Asshat said something like, "Don't you dare apologize for me!"
Of course this guy also proceeded to get completely tanked, and then show up about an hour late to the meeting the next day.
No one missed him.