I used to work at a large department store (their motto was "Way To Shop") and we had this one old lady in the lingerie department who was literally HOLDING A CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
My coworker and I spent a few minutes trying to figure out if she had on a bluetooth headset or something but it didn't seem like it, so we ran away and hid.
I'm glad I get to cook burgers where I am now.
The customers are ALL college kids. Dealing with a bunch of drunks and stoners is so much easier!