Retail Hell Underground

Brave Little Girl Fights Off Kidnapper At Walmart

  

    Scary stuff.

 

 

Tales From Porn Store Hell

From Your Friendly Neighborhood Porn Clerk:

Ugh last night was the night of the wackdoos.

I work at an "adult shop", so we get some unique customers already, but last night truly stood out. The first thing happened while I was on break, apparently some women tried to return a vibrator because...

wait for it...

Tt didn't fit!

The best part?

She claimed it was unused.

She threw a fit when we refused to refund her. We have signs everywhere that say no refunds or exchanges on anything other than defective DVD's. It even says so on the receipt, but we all know how well custys read.

Now for the more disturbing and sad story.

There was a sketchy couple in the store. The female was originally in by herself but left to get the male who was in the car after a while to get his opinion on some stuff.

What stuck out to me was the male kept leaving the store every so often and coming back in. I was over by the door when he came back in one time and I heard the sound of a small child screaming outside.

Sometimes people will bring their kids with them and someone will stay in the car with them, or they will take turns in the store and this is fine, but I wanted to take a peek to make sure an adult was there with the kid.

I go outside and see a small toddler sitting in a car with the window open by herself. I really wish I had called the police on them looking back, instead of just making one of them go out there, but whats done is done.

Next time I'm just calling 911. This is not a safe area, people have gotten mugged and assaulted in our parking lot. Not to mention it's fucking winter outside.

--Your Friendly Neighborhood Porn Clerk

 

Checkout Lane Drama: Custy Talks About Former Creepy Employee

From Yingafred:

Heeeeeello my fellow slaves~

With school starting up again I haven't had too many things exciting happen. I've been at school more so than I have been at work.

Though today, I had the most WTF worthy moment I've had in a long time.

THE STORY BEGINS:

As always I'm on register duty. Well today this burly man who seemed to be in a really good mood comes in to buy a few things. While I am ringing up his items he asks me:

"I see you don't have a photo lab anymore."

I reply with a "Not anymore sir, they took it out a few years ago I think. I've been here for over a year and a half and it was taken out before then."

Then man then goes into SUPER SERIOUS MEGA CRYPTIC mode and says,

"Oh, I dunno, it might.... It might be because this guy that worked in the photo lab here got caught with bags full of pictures he had taken of every woman who came in that he eventually developed."

"Oh... wow..."

What inner Yingafred was thinking: "WOW-WTF-Y-U-TELLING-ME-THIS-SHIT-DO-NOT-WANT-TO-KNOW-PLEEZ-LEAVE-NOA-K-THX"

"Yeah, he's lucky he got fired and sent to jail."

"Yeah... that's creepy, let's hope so..."

What inner Yingafred was thinking: "AHHHH-WTF-PLEASE-STOP-I-FEEL-AKWARD-I-DO-NOT-NEED-TO-KNOW-THIS-KJ HGLKJH LKJH- X_______X"

"I would have hurt him pretty bad you know, he had pictures of my wife and daughter, but that was like 8 years ago. And we haven't been in this store since then, we've been to other {insertstorenamehere} but not this one."

"That's horrible..."

What inner Yingafred was thinkin: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-PLEASE-STOP-PLEASE-GO-AWAY-YOU'RE-CREEPY"

After this he grabs his bag and begins to leave. I tell to him to have a great day, and he then responds as if he's distracted with a distant "you too". Like the memory was weighing heavily on his mind.

Interacting with him was so odd. As soon as he went into his serious mode it was like he was in a trance or something. It was strange. I'm glad he left. Eurg.

WELL. That was my WTF moment.

Hope the rest of you are doing well~<3

--Yingafred

Hellmart Newbie Has Horrifying Creepy Custy Encounter

From Hellmart Newbie:

Hey everyone.

Long time reader, first time poster. Ya-da ya-da. I have a good story for you though that, even when I think back on it, have a hard time believing. I had a horrible encounter with a pervy custy from HELL.

So I just got hired at Wal-mart. To work in the Hardware department. I know next to nothing about hardware and shit, but hey it was a job, I can read boxes and labels. Was working my first Saturday dayshift. I was with one other coworker there, but he was either on break or called away. I can't remember which, just remembered he wasn't there.

Had a custy come up and decided he wanted to ask me 3290230 questions on how to do some stupid job that I knew nothing about.

Being the good slave I was though, I allowed him to drag me around from wiring to tools to whatever other gizmo aisle he wanted to visit. Then the creepyness started while we were looking at the wall hooks. 

PCH (pervy custy from hell) was standing a little TOO close for comfort. While I was explaining prices I felt his hand/arm/whatever brush across my boobs.

Ook, awkwardness, but hey, it could of been a honest mistake. He was standing right on top of me and my boobs are pretty big. (...lucky me /sarcasm) Plus, when I looked down at the floor, him being so damn close, I could see his lower body half without trying or wanting. Fucking dude had a fucking BONER. Great...

So I contuine on my spiel of prices and next thing I know, he GRABS my ass. Not accidental touching, but full on GRABBING. Hold the FUCK up....what?! 

I backed up and said "you can't do that." But did he stop?! No!! Every step back I took, he took one step forward. With that CREEPY fucking CREEEEEPY look in his eye. Think he mumbled something about beautiful, sexy, sex, I don't know what the fuck else. I was trying to get away from him when all I wanted to do was kick him in his nutsack. 

Luckily, a coworker from the tire department walked up to ask me something (I could have SERIOUSLY kissed him for saving me) and PCH walks away. TDG (tire department guy) noticed I was pretty spazzed out, talked me down, and took me to talk to my manager. (TDG and I didn't have the same assistant manager.)

Now my assistant manager was a HAG. She was hateful and mean. But you would think she would be a little understanding since she wa a GIRL. Nope, I was told it's my job to make the customers happy, and that custys are always right. Sure, whatever fucking hag.I didn't sign up to be molested at work.

TDG decided to have me talk to our co-manager (higher than assistant manager, lower than store manager) Great so now I have to retell this tale again, to a guy manager now, who (might I say) looks like fucking Adonis. Luckily he was a little more understanding, and had me talk to LP and shit. Told them what PCH looked like, so on and so forth. Took me the rest of the day to finally calm down, but figured I put this all behind me.

Nope...following Saturday, there was PCH. And every Saturday for the next 3 months. Awesome. I got a new stalker. Most of the time I was able to escape to the backroom before he reached me and nothing was ever done. But one day I wasn't so lucky.

I got stuck making paint for a couple and PCH showed up in the middle. Fuck, wasnt going to be able to run now. And management took my walkie and phone away so I had no way to page someone. Fucking LOVELY.

Well, finished with the couple and PCH said he wanted paint. He wanted the brand and base (eggshell or whatever shit) paint that was in the fucking corner of the store. Corner that was hidden from people's view. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. I prayed to the heavens that he would stay by the counter. Nope...he followed me right into that corner. 

When I turned around with the paint he wouldn't move. Instead, he pushed his weight onto me, pinning me to the wired shelfing unit. I actually dropped the gallon of paint onto my foot and since he wouldnt move I couldn't get it off. (Finally did once the throbbing stopped a bit to kicked it off.)

I'm seriously freaking out, thinking he is going to rape me in this little corner of fucking Wal-mart. He was over a foot taller than me (I am only 5'0) and clearly weighed more than me. So...I did what any normal freaked out girl would do. I screamed and screamed and screamed. Least til he covered my mouth with his hand. I just prayed someone in tires or sporting goods heard it. And thank the heavens, the managers and LP were walking through that side of the store at just the right moment. 

Adonis (co-manager) actually tackled PCH to the ground and SAT on him while one of the LP guys dialed 911 on his cell. I was huddled in the corner in a ball, freaking out, crying my eyes out like there was no tomorrow. One of the female managers and female LP (luckily not that fuckface Hag) were trying to get me to calm down enough to make it to the back to the manager's office. 

It was a very long day. I spend the majority of it in the office talking to the police. My hag manager was flipping out because I hadn't clocked out by the 5th hour for my lunch (stupidest fucking rule ever) and actually wanted to write me up over it. Someone finally just clocked me out to shut her up, but I was able to go on lunch for real later while on the clock to make up for it. (Hag didn't like that either.)

Managers made more regular walks through hardware on the days I was working from that day on. And Adonis won the coolest manager award from me.

--Hellmart Newbie Slave

Retail Hell Memories: Violent Discount Rat Encounter

The Last Archimedean here.

This is the worst experience I ever had in retail hell. I worked for this particular decent-sized individual store [not a franchise -- this is key, the store was actually mom & pop and had an owner] for 11 months before returning to school after saving up my money from working there.

I usually worked in the back of this store, but two of our front-line people were out sick so I volunteered to help handle the customers that day. Things were going decently [nothing more than the usual imbecility] until:..

Jackass Customer: "Where's [owner]?" [The owner wasn't actually in the store that day.]

The Last Archimedean: "He's not in the store today, sir. May I help you?"

JC: "Yes! You can tell him he's a... [lets out string of worst cursing TLA has ever heard, for 3 minutes straight, and TLA used to be in the Navy]

TLA [interrupting, since customer had no intention of stopping]: "I'm sorry you feel that way, sir. Can I help you find something?"

JC: [shocked by interruption]: "I want [product] for [about 15% of its normal price]! [Owner] told me months ago I could have it for that price and yesterday he broke his promise! [Begins cussing out owner again]"

TLA: "I doubt that very much, sir. [Product] is [price], but I am authorized to give two customers per day a 10% discount."

JC punches TLA in the stomach. HARD. I stagger backwards and try to get my breath back while JC begins cursing out the owner again.

TLA: "Sir, either buy [product] at [price], or please leave. I can give you a 10% discount. [Owner] will be in the store tomorrow if you'd like to come back then and talk to him."

JC: "Damn right I will!" [storms out]

[He never came back. When the owner heard from the 3 other employees at the other registers what happened, he called JC and told him he was lucky we weren't pressing charges for assault and he was permanently banned from the store.]

--The Last Archimedean

 

Game Store Hell: Dad Saves Daughter From Propositioning Custy Creep

Call me Gamer Girl (or "GG" for short), as I work in a small video game store.

Being the only female employee, I get my fair share of attention and good-natured ribbing from the customers. 95% of them are polite and respectful. However, "CC" (or Creeper Customer), is not one of them. He comes into the store on average 4 times a week (almost always on the days I'm working), and makes sexist, disparaging comments to me.

It's gotten to the point where the manager will shoo me into the back room when Creeper Custy is coming. However, he spends lots of money and hasn't said something bad enough to get barred, so I suck it up and deal.

The other day I found myself the only employee working in the store. The manager was on vacation and I couldn't get anyone else in. Luckily it was a slow day and my Dad (who's also a gamer), stopped in to say Hi. I was feeling pretty good until who else but Creeper walks in.

My stomach drops.

My dad notices him and steps away from the counter to browse. CC looks around and asks "You the only one working today, sweetie?"

I grit my teeth and say yes, then try to change the subject by asking if he was looking for something in particular. He leans in and gives a creepy smile. "Well, I was going to buy some games, but since your boss isn't here I think I want you to have the money instead. But you're going to have to work for it."

He raises his eyebrow and nods his head toward the storage room. It takes me a few seconds before it clicks. He's propositioning me! My face flushes and I stammer out "If you're hinting at what I think you are, then you have to leave. Now." He scoffs and says he was only joking and not to be such a prude.

I'm about to call my manager on his emergency line when I see my dad, who I completely forgot was in the store, walk up behind Creeper and tap him on the shoulder.

Now, my dad is 6'3, a former rugby player and very intimidating. When CC turns around, my dad grabs him by the collar, gets right in his face and growls "You piece of shit, did you just proposition my daughter? You're going to apologize to her and then leave or we're going to have a problem."

Creeper turns back to me, pale as a ghost and mutters "sorry" before running out of the store.

I call my manager and tell him what just happened, figuring this was going to be thing that would finally get CC banned. Nope. Manager says I handled things well and says he'll have a talk with Creeper about his behavior when he gets back.

Are you shitting me? While I appreciate that my manager is taking steps to make things right, the fact this asshole offering me money for sex WHILE I'M WORKING isn't enough to warrant a ban is infuriating.

My dad isn't too happy either and says he will be having his own talk with the manager, so we'll see what happens.

--GG

RHUER Needs Advice On Dealin With Creepy Ex As A Custy and Mall Coworker

Long time reader, first time poster, all that jazz.

You can call me GameGal for now, as I just got a job at my favorite game retailer. I couldn't be happier with my job, and everything is just peachy♥. . .

But I might have a problem. Bear with me, I'll try and write this as simple as possible. I dated a guy a few years back in high school, and I broke it off. Started dating my current boyfriend soon after, and ex didn't take any of it well at all. Wouldn't call anything he did stalking, but REALLY, REALLY creepy: Calling my house a bajillion times, following me and the new bf around school, and even showing up at an event where he knew we'd be without him needing to be there (basically showed up to our college meeting when he never had any intention of enrolling, sat directly behind us, whatever.) After him attempting to ask me weird questions about my new relationship again, I had to get in his face and tell him to back off, and he did. Honestly, he creeped  me out so bad I almost got the school involved. 

Well, now it's been about 3 years, and we haven't run into each other until now. You see, it ends up he has a job where x-days a week he works at my mall. And wouldn't you know it, he started talking to me.

Honestly, I didn't recognize him, so I smiled, said hello, and kept walking. At this point, I had no uniform, and I just looked like a shopper. He has never shown up in our store before AT ALL since I started working there.

Black Friday comes along (which went great by the way!), and I finally get a kickass PowerUp shirt and nametag. I wear it to the food court, he sees me. I eat, take my break, and go back to work. Not even 2 minutes after clocking back in, he's wandering the store, like he just followed me in (and this is while he's still supposed to be working : /). Didn't buy anything, and didn't even look around, just came in and stood around.

It kinda weirded me out, but hey, it's a free country, as long as he doesn't talk to me, I'm good. But then, the next time I'm working a few days later, I'm on the floor putting games back. I stand up, turn around, and he's standing RIGHT GODDAMN BEHIND ME. Like, RIGHT ON MY ASS. Lather, rinse, repeat; doesn't really look around, doesn't buy anything. So I notice that he only started coming in after he found out that I work in there. . . So here's my little issue. . .

 I'm just hoping this following-weirdness doesn't start up again. I mean, he does play video games, he has every right to go in there and browse around. But he's the type where if I were to even give him 2 seconds of my time, I gotta feeling that shitstorm from before would start up where he left off.

Basically, he creeps me out BIG TIME. And it's not just me; he pretty much sends those creepy, quiet, might-go-postal vibes to a lot of other people. I would like to prevent having interactions with him.

Now, I don't wanna sound like one of those whiney dramatic ex's, I can fully assure you that I'm not. But I just thought it would be a good idea to talk to my manager and explain that maybe someone else should ring him up, answer his questions, etc, and I would be able to avoid him without making a scene. Our receipts also have those surveys, and I don't wanna deal with him or his new wack-job girlfriend trying to get me fired or something. =/ I know that this isn't much, but I wanted to ask you guys just in case he got creepy all over again and it becomes a real issue.

And unfortunately, I have to walk past him to get to the store, he's right in the middle of the damn mall, and I can't really avoid him. I can't really park or walk through the mall any other way to get to my store, or else I would. And when he does come in, I'm always smiley, but never talk beyond a simple hello or make eye contact, and I constantly keep moving around the store. And if he does start saying/doing weird shit, what actions should I take? It's not like I wanna get him banned from the store or anything, I don't want this to be all dramatic and retarded. I'm just starting to get uncomfortable, and have a bad gut feeling about it.

He's shown up two of my shifts in a row. =/ I just want to know what I should do before something happens. I just know he's going to start showing up more. I'm so sorry if I come across as whiney and overreacting, but I don't really know who else to ask. And you guys always give such good advice! I would really appreciate any tips!!

--GameGal

The Perfect Fruit Basket For Thanksgiving

More Gross Department Store Hell: Store Manager Allows Masturbatuing Custy to Hang Out In Store

Hello all! 

After listening to Red Rider's biohazard-filled story about customers mistaking the JCPenis fitting room/mesh bags for a bathroom, it gave me the courage to finally relive the grossest bodily function related story I had to deal with thus far at JCPenis.

This was back when we had my old store manager, a miserly older man who I only saw come out of "the cave" (management office) once.  To sum him up, he was definately the type to throw a sacrificial lamb/retail slave under the bus in the name of "good customer service".  Like, seriously.  This guy let a customer slap my friend's ass and keep shoping, as she was crying in a fitting room stall.  This guy allowed a customer to throw a heavy prom dress and a handful of jewelry at me and call me a b*tch and a c*nt and all of that fun stuff.  He was a real tool.

But, I digress.

On this particular day, my supervisor (we'll call her MILF, cause even though she's a grandma, she still gets hit on all the time!) came running up to my counter.  "Pennyslut!", she says, "Do NOT ring out a man wearing a blue baseball hat and a black hoodie.  Just walk away if he comes over!"

Alarmed that I am being instructed to turn my back on the customer, whereas usually I am commanded to do everything short of giving them a happy ending, I have to ask her, "why"?

MILF then tells me that she had been putting things back from the fitting rooms  (yeah, she's awesome and actually helps us out), and she looked over at a short man, hunched over next to a shelf.  She asked him if he needed help, and he gave her a death glance, and quickly scurried away.  Thinking nothing of it, she walks away, until she sees him AGAIN, hunched over next to a mannequin.  Confused, she asks a nearby associate if she knows anything about this peculiar custy, to which she responds, "Oh, yeah, that's the guy who jacks off on the clothes."

I'll allow a brief pause to really allow that to sink in.  A grown man, takes the bus (as we later found out) to his local JCPenis, comes in, and jerks off on the clothes in the women's plus-size maternity section.  Splooges on the clothes and on the mannequins.  That same night, he also stole a few pairs of women's clearance panties.

Why didn't we call the police, you may ask?

Oh, because our store manager decided that we "didn't want to upset a potential customer".  Never mind the fact that he is a sexual predator, ruining our clothes and our mannequins, AND could very well transfer some disease to a customer or associate if they were unfortunate enough to pick up the wrong item at the wrong time.

It wasn't until a fellow customer, after having witnessed the act, threatened to call corporate if it wasn't taken care of.  I was slightly relieved that she pulled the corporate card (first time that ever happened), although her tone was a bit insulting as well.....she yelled at MILF like it was HER fault some guy got a woodie from some clearance 4-XL women's top form 3 seasons ago.

This perv-atrator came back a few days later, and luckily, commited this act in another store in the mall, one who WASN'T afraid to call the cops.  MILF saw security escorting this guy out, so she reported the earlier incident to them.  She had to identify the perv, who kept asserting that he wasn't doing anything.

When they ran the report on this guy, they found out that he had a bunch of previous sexual offenses, and he is a listed sexual predator.  He steals money from his mom to take the bus to the mall everyday, to go spread his man juice around.

Thankfully, we have a new store manager now, and she doesn't take ANY of that sh*t.  Or, should I say, *insert joke here*.

Hang in there, fellow slaves!

--Pennyslut<3

 

 

RHU ADVICE: How Do You Handle Condescending Creepy Customers?

Hi all! Hellraiser here! 

Bookstore slave's recent post about being talked down to by a chauvinist pig custy reminded me of something I've noticed at my new call center job.

Now, down here in the south, it's not uncommon for southern gentlemen to throw around the occasional "hun" or "darlin." That doesn't bother me. They're not being demeaning, it's just a way of speaking. What bothers me is the number of recent calls I've taken where I've been called "darlin," "honey," "baby" and worse. And although I've been working customer service hell for over 5 years now, this is a new experience for me, and here's why:

Previously I worked in the drive-thru. I have a customer service voice that sounds like Minnie Mouse over the headset, but I don't have the look to match it. After pulling up, the driver would be confronted with me, wearing my blue waterproof apron, my sleeves hiked up so they don't get soaking wet, covered in a mixture of dishwater, flour, and some unidentified sauce. After about 9:00 pm, I would be all out of smiles, and my hair would look like something the cat dragged in. Even the most polite southerner would have a hard time matching up this image to the word "darlin."

Now, in call center hell, those same men never see me. They hear my voice and picture the sweetest young thing their hearts desire. For the first time I'm having to deal with a whole new line of condescension and people hitting on me, and it's really getting on my nerves.

Now, I'm sure a lot of retail slave girls are out there rolling their eyes at me. I know there are a lot of you who have been dealing with this all the time, and I want to know how you do it. Or better yet, how do you make it stop? I can't just tell them off, the calls are monitored. And all you guys out there, on what planet is this deemed appropriate behavior?

--Hellraiser

 

 

Awesome Adult Store No Parking Signage

A sign for every store parking lot!

From Juanita.

 

Mister PeePee Strikes NYC Starbucks Bathrooms

Creepy Custy report From Huff Po:

A local man calling himself Mister PeePee is on a mission to masturbate in every Starbucks bathroom in New York City, and to photograph the results.

Starbucks Gossip reports PeePee, a self-described "big fan of Starbucks", revealed some details of his endeavor on a [now unavailable] podcast on the Glory Hole Radio Network:

"I've got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness," Mister PeePee said on The Glory Hole podcast, "and [note] if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me."

One of his associates wanted Mister PeePee to also rate "how hot the chicks were in the location -- customers and baristas" and "how frequently did someone try to open the door when you were trying to jerk off."

"And lastly, how was the coffee?" added the podcast co-host.

A December [and now protected] tweet from @MisterPeePee reads,"Today's Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner. Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick."

So who is MisterPeePee? And has the intrepid jerk-off visited a Starbucks bathroom near you?

Reached for comment and maybe a big reveal, a source at Glory Hole Radio tells us, "Mister PeePee is a legend amongst our fans and a private man. I'm just surprised such an old segment on our show is only getting attention now."

Looks like PeePee's identity will remain a mystery. Even a Foursquare account under his name seems to have disappeared, so it will be tough to determine which of the 298 New York locations he'll hit next. [UPDATE! Turns out PeePee's foursquare account still exists after all! It appears he fancies Starbucks in and around the Flatiron district.]

via www.huffingtonpost.com

Scary Signage

 

RHU Advice: How Do You Handle Being Attacked By A Creepy Custy?

Hey guys, HyperLink here once again with a short update.

This time my story isn't so much funny/stupid as it is disgusting and terrifying. You'll see why in a moment, let me just set the scene for you.

As I mentioned last time, I work in a internet/gaming cafe. It gets pretty loud and I work from 3-11 most nights, normally the customers are loud and messy but honestly, that's the worst of it. Or at least I thought so until tonight, about twenty minutes ago to be exact.

"So what happened?" I hear you ask. Well, let me start from the top.

I'm at work, minding my own business, when this tourist comes in wanting to use the scanner. He says he's never used one before so I step him through the entire process. He seems like a perfectly normal guy and I wander off once he's done to do some cleaning. (read: check facebook, which I'm actually allowed to do :D)

After a bit he asks me if I want to have a cigarette. This is a totally normal scenario where I work (which will henceforth be called LazyLan, because I seriously don't have to do all that much) and since there's only one person on the clock at LazyLan at a time, I have to take all my cigarette breaks out the front of the store so that I can keep an eye on the register.

Now, keep in mind that LazyLan has a doorway (like most buildings), and right next to said doorway there's an indent in the wall probably about 2 square feet tops big enough to fit one or two people in, but since we have an ashtray in there, it really only fits one person. This guy just pushes me into this tiny space and forces himself on me. Wandering hands and dirty, filthy disgusting mouth!

I was stunned for a minute but I pushed him off and went back inside, where he didn't follow thank God!

I have never felt so violated in all my years, first thing I did was went out back and lost my lunch. Then I put a note on his account so the other girls get a warning whenever he puts time on his account.

I wanted to call in the guy who's meant to be taking over after my shift or my boss or something, but I don't have any numbers, so I'm stuck here for another two hours when all I want to do is go home and cry into my pillow.

RHU What should I do, do I just drink a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up? I don't think there's anything I can do. Have crustys ever done something like this to you?

How did you deal with it?

--Hyperlink

 

Custy Takes Nap On McDonalds Counter

From our friends on the WOW blog:

WOW employee Steve Nugent had just popped off to the McDonald’s at Hollywood and Highland for a #3 and a yogurt parfait, only to discover when he got there that a hobo had climbed up onto the counter and decided to take a nap. All in a day’s work, I’m sure, at one of the toughest Mickey D’s west of Times Square. (Photos by Steve Nugent)

via worldofwonder.net

 

Adult Store Hell: Creepy Custy Tries To Return Used Dildo

It's your friendly, neighborhood Dev again!

My best friend came up for a football game (more like the tailgating as I go to the #7 party school in the nation,) and we were talking with some of the other tailgaters about jobs when the subject of the Adult Store came up after a few beers. One particular, mortifying story came up.

It was a Saturday in the Fall, and a regular crusty comes in. Now, on the receipts there is clearly a "No Novelty" return, and when someone buys a novelty, we are to take it out of the package, check that it works (we also sold batteries, it was a great way to get an add-on onto the sale, so we'd put batteries in it and turned the device on. Generally, they'd just add the batteries on.) This man is at least in his 70's, and he throws a dildo down on the counter and says to me, "I want to return this! I thought it came with a strap-on harness!"

I'm staring at this dildo like it's poisonous, there is no packaging, and it's just sitting on my counter.

I compose myself, and say, "Sir, there's no way I can take a novelty back. It's on the bottom of your receipt, and I'm sure that whoever sold it to you told you so. Do you have the receipt on you?"

So he hands me the receipt, and I look at the Employee Number in the corner... and it's my own. So I know that I told him there was no refunds on toys. I point out the no return policy, but he still grumps, "I thought it came with a strap-on harness!"

After managing to get him to put the toy back in the bag he brought it in (there was no way on Earth was I going to touch that thing,) I tell him that we sell individual harnesses, and that he doesn't have to buy a whole new toy, just the harness itself, and that I'd go help him pick the right one. So, I pull the same model toy out of the package to compare (because, as I said, there is no way on God's Green Earth was I touching the one he had) and we started looking through the vast array of harnesses.

While I'm doing this, he gets closer to me, and says, "I've been using this on my sister. She's 79 years old, and getting a little loose down there."

I have to hold back an involuntary shudder, and he continues, "And she'd like you."

He's looking me up and down, and I quickly find the harness we were looking for, and I hand it to him. I walk back to my counter, and he browses and grabs a few DVDs and lube before heading back to the counter.

I'm ringing him out, he hands me a card with his number on it, and says, "As I said, my sister would like you. You should join us sometime."

I have no idea what to say at this point, finish bagging up his items, do my normal "Remember, there are no novelty returns, and you can return defective DVDs within 30 days! Don't forget about our trade-in program! Have a nice day!" With a sugary sweet smile.

After he walked out the door, I threw the card away, Clorox wiped down the counter 3 times, and used about half a bottle of hand sanitizer on myself.

<3
--Dev

 

 

Custy Leaves Unexpected Gift For Halloween Retail Slaves

Jason of the Underground reports from Halloween Hell that a psychic custy come into the store the other day. She walked around watching and observing the customers and the Halloween maddness. Eventuallly she left without any fanfare.....Later as Jason was straightening up the piggy piles of costumes he found an unfamiliar package that obviously was a gift she had left behind for the Retail Slaves. 

As far as I know Jason nor his coworkers actually risked their lives and used the Bad Energy Buster, but hopefully it wasn't some kind of poison and left with good custy intentions!

 

Register Hell: Retail Slave Offers Advice on Quickchange Artists

Hilltopper back again to share a story with you of something that happened over the summer at work... but it still bugs me to this day: 

My boyfriend and I both got quickchanged.

For those who don't know, quickchanging is when the customer just keeps asking for different change and they end up getting money out of you, causing your drawer to be short.  A good one can get around $500.  They target young people (my boyfriend is 21 and I'm 20) or older people, since they're most vulnerable.

My boyfriend, who I'll call Batman because of his fascination over the superhero, and I work at the same Hellmart.  We were both cashiers up until mid-July.  This happened on his very first day in the electronics department.

It started with him.  He has a guy come up to him and buy a movie.  He pays with a $100 dollar bill.  Then he realizes he wanted a candy bar too.  He grabs that and pays with smaller change.  And then he wants to know if that $100 dollar bill has a number on it.  Batman pulls it out to look and it does.  So the guy wants the hundred back so he grabs it (key factor) and gives him different change for one hundred dollars.  Batman has to count it out and the guy is short by a couple bucks, which was his plan the whole time.  While Batman counted, he pocketed $100 dollars that he swiped along with his original hundred.

Forward about 5 minutes.  I have a customer come through my lane and he seems nice enough.  He pays for whatever he had with a $100 dollar bill.  Then he remembers he needs a drink for his wife who was in the car.  He pays with smaller change.  And then it repeats to what happened to Batman.  He wanted to know if there was a number.  I pulled it out to check and he snatched it up and handed me other change for $100 dollars instead.  I count it and, same as before, he was short, which gave him the time to pocket $100 dollars from me as well.

Now Batman had a couple customers after this so he couldn't call up right away, but as soon as he left me, I shut my light off and went to my CSM to ask her to check my drawer because I thought I was just quickchanged.  As I'm telling her this, the phone is ringing.  Batman is calling to tell her the same thing.

She did our audits and we were both short by $100.  Thankfully, they knew that it was just coincidence that it happened to both of us.  But it still sucked.  I couldn't sleep at all that night because I felt so stupid that it happened to me.

 

After all this, we only ended up with verbal warnings (thankfully) but it still makes us both mad.  I just don't understand how they can do this to people. How do they sleep at night?

So, as a warning, everyone be on the lookout for this kind of person.  I would recommend talking to a supervisor to see what the policy for your company is for this situation.  From personal experience, I would say that is the best thing you can do to prevent this from happening to you as well.

Good luck to you guys.

--Hilltopper

 

Karma Catches Up To Dollar Store N.A.T.s

Hi there, RHUers!

Call me Amelia, if you like. I work for a popular dollar store that has chains everywhere and then some and wanted to share a little karma.

I wasn't on shift when it all went down, but was coming on as the cameras were being reviewed...

Seems a couple of N.A.T.s decided to come into our store, split up, and meet back at the clothing section. They start taking packages of socks, underwear, and shirts off the pegs and stuff them down their pants! On the playback, you can clearly see them stuffing their pants and shaking them down! Almost funny...

They then leave the store, get in their car, and exit N.A.T.s.

Karma is a bitch and will eventually get you, right where it hurts.

The town cops proceed to pull the pair over for, drum roll please...

NOT wearing seat belts!

The police see all the stolen merchandise and no bags, when dumbass passenger, bolts from the car.

They promptly arrest the driver, and discover what went down with us just a few minutes ago.

Not sure if they caught the other guy, but they did return all of our things to us, saving us almost $100 in inventory.

Thanks to the locals, and of course, our good friend Karma!

Love, peace, and chicken grease!

--Amelia

 

Photo Lab Hell: Creepy Custy Karma

Fred's Photo Slut again!

Here to tell a short tale about karma and how it quickly catches back up to yours truly!

Now, I try to not be judgmental when it comes to people's photos. I wouldn't like it if the photo clerk judged me for my pictures, so I try to keep my mind clear of any negative judgments. But the one time I couldn't help myself, it bit me in my ass! 

I was working the mid shift, so naturally, I get photo duties. The minute I walk up to the machine, I notice the order that's going has a morbidly obese man in a Hawaiian shirt, standing next to a Vietnamese beauty queen in a wedding dress.

OMG, can you say "Mail order bride?" I kept it to myself as long as I could and finally, I had to show someone. I called over McGee (as he likes to add McGee to everything!) and we laughed together at the hilarious pictures. Egotistical Emo Boss (my awesome Assistant Manager) hears us laughing and joins in.

After the shenanigans are finished, I feel bad about myself, but no harm right? Wrong...I ruined my good karma for the day. 

It wasn't a bad day overall, but the worst of it came at the end of my shift. I'm spacing out because it's slow and I'm off in a half an hour. A rather large gentleman walks in and smiles at me. We'll call him Obese Sweaty Pervert (OSP).

FPS spacing out, watching Rango on one of the displays from my counter. 

OSP: That was cute. 

FPS: (smiling) Oh, sorry about that! End of my shift, so I'm not totally here! What can I do for you?

OSP: You have a nice smile. 

FPS: (I get this a lot) Oh, thanks! My parents paid a lot for it, so I use it. Is there anything I can help you with?

OSP: I think the question is; is there anything I can help you with?

FPS: Uhhh...(confused smile)

OSP: You really do have a great smile. CAN I TASTE IT?

FPS: (getting annoyed) No, what do you need?

OSP: Well, I came to pick up some photos, but you're not going to be happy about what you see on them.

:facepalm: OMFG, it was mail order bride guy! Why didn't I notice it was him?

FPS: Oh yeah, you had the wedding photos? I processed those ones.

OSP: Yeah, are you disappointed?

Only in myself for going against my judgment code and watching karma catch up to me. 

FPS: I think I'll live. (I grab his pictures) Are you ready to checkout or did you have more shopping? (please say shopping!)

OSP: Oh, you can ring me up. (DAMN!)

OSP continues his flirting (if you could call it that) throughout the transaction, tells me how beautiful his trip to Vietnam was and how his wife is having issues coming back to the states and whatnot and he's technically "not married." I flash him my wedding ring and keep things as short as possible. He still insists on leaving me his number or getting mine, which I refuse multiple times. He finally leaves and I'm laughing and cursing the Gods. I knew that would catch back up to me, just not that quickly!

Cheers,

--Fred's Photo Slut