InSecurity here. This is a tale of one of my coworkers, I'll call him Standup. Now this tale is not for the kiddies because it touches on some rather unseemly and at times unpleasant stuff. Also, I get to try and come up with as many filthy euphemisms as I can.
One day, one of our clients came to the security office looking rather distressed. She said that there was a weird guy out on the patio area, and then she leaned in close and whispered "masturbating!" Standup gets to go and do the run off of our self pleasuring perpetrator.
He heads out to the patio, and its easy to spot the guy, he has his johnson out, flailing away. (Times like these we hate our jobs...) Standup heads on over and speaks with Mr. Meat Beater, asking him to stop choking the chicken in public.
Our Fapulous Foe informs Standup that his rubbing one out is actually a medical procedure, and therefore perfectly OK.
Standup then informs our One Eyed Monster Massager that stroking the horn is not OK on our private property, especially when its outside, in publicly visible places.
Mr. Monkey Spanker then puts up his junk and wanders off.
Unfortunately in the security world there are three major types of horn honkers: Perv-Os, the compulsory, and the abused. Perv-Os are exhibitionists and about getting off in public. They usually high-tail it as soon as we are visible. These are also the ones that can be stalkers too. We hate them with a passion.
The next ones are the ones for whom jacking is a compulsion they have no control over. Its a physical tic, like Tourette's syndrome, or on the Autisim spectrum where it is their ritual to contain themselves and restore balance to their world. Number two types overlap with the third kind: abuse victims.
Victims of sexual abuse, usually starting at a young age, and often coupled with other neurological or psychological conditions, combine into compulsory public acts of sexual self flagellation. Nightmare fuel stuff to say the least.
May all your custies keep it in their pants, as well as not have to deal with the horrific baggage we end up seeing in customer service..