From Tales From Retail, booofedoof
For several years I worked at a gas station while finishing school. I honestly loved my job, but we got quite a few jerks in that would yell at us about gas prices. As if we could control it. Anyway, my manager had this awesome way of getting back at the especially rude ones. At the register we had a button that could stop the gas flow at any specific pump. It was always funny to see the look of confusion on their faces before starting it again. We always made sure to turn it back on before they came in though.
One day, while training a new guy, this especially annoyed customer came in, literally yelling at me about the price of gas. I tried to be as polite as possible, but he kept at it, even going as far to call me a bitch.
"Sir, I'm awfully sorry, but as you can see, I only control of the register. How do you expect a 20 year old part-time worker to be in charge of the nation's gas prices?"
Now he was yelling in my face, leaning over the counter. "I'm a cop, I protect your lazy ass all day and you can't even give me a discount?!"If he really was a cop, I'll never know because he wasn't wearing a uniform.
"I'm sorry sir but you know I can't do that."
"WELL SCREW YOU TOO BITCH." He tried to throw his $40 at me but it just fluttered down onto the floor. The new hire was clearly very distraught.
I put his money in the drawer and said "So today you're going to learn how to deal with assholes like that." I motioned him to my register and watch the screen, waiting until he had pumped about 2 gallons. I stopped the pump and pointed out the window to where the man was pumping. This time, I'm gonna make him work harder for his gas. We watched while he jiggled the handle before giving up and stomping back into the store. Right before he came through the door, I restarted the pump.
I put on my best innocent face and asked "Have you tried squeezing the handle?"
"Check and make sure you put in the right amount, moron." Sheesh, how rude.
"Yep, 40 on pump 5. You should be good." I smiled sweetly at him as he rolled his eyes and walked back out to the pump. I waited another few gallons and stopped it again.
"Uhh this is hilarious and all, but won't we get fired?" New hire asked nervously.
"No, [manager] taught me this trick." Jerk guy was on his way in again so I quickly started the pump.
"Seriously, this is ridiculous, the pump isn't working!"
"Alright sir, how about I come out and help you pump your gas since you seem to be having trouble?"
"Yeah, like you'll be able to if I can't. Go right ahead." He scoffed at me so I followed him out to his car. Of course it was working fine for me, so I gave him a weird look as if to suggest he was crazy.
I finished pumping saying "Huh, that's weird, no issues. Maybe you really just don't know how to pump gas?" I smiled and walked away as he got into his car mumbling under his breath.