Retail Hell Underground

Costco Hell: Custy Returns Rotten Fruit

From CSI:

Someone returned these today. Got all their money back. It is people like these that make me so mad; how long have they been holding onto this?

This just goes to show how much I wanna reiterate...food goes bad! But don't worry.....apparently you can buy stuff and if you happen to not eat it just come get your money back!

I wish people would understand that when you do returns on stuff like this you are hurting the employees in the store. They cut our hours to.compensate.

Oh well at least they returned the whole product. The other day someone returned 2 cherries..1 cucumber..1 fig. They got a full refund on everything. Too bad we haven't even had cherries for over a month now. I still wonder what happened to the rest of the cucumbers and figs too. Lol.

--CSI

RANT: Bad Grocery Store Produce: Custys Should Take Some of The Blame

So I am writing today because of something I run into on a daily basis...bad produce.

Bad produce you say..why yes bad produce, but not in the sense you may think. It is custys who complain about the bad produce.

Lets get something straight here..

1) Heat absolutely destroys produce/most foods.

2) Custys picking through the produce also destorys quite a bit of it.

3) Sometimes stores just get bad product.

4) Food goes bad!!! I dont know how much more I can reiterate this!

5) I am only ONE person working to the best of my ability to make sure only the best produce is for sale!

6) See #5

7)See #6

So why is it that custys wanna come in and destroy my displays and then complain the product is bad!?!?

First off they probably messed up/ruined some of it in their attack on the display. Second, see the above reasons! They come to me all disgusted saying this or that is bad and are really upset about it.

Worst is when they go to the managers about it! Do you realize how hard I bust my ass everyday? Now you wanna sick the manager on me because I can't keep up with them shipping bad product and custys destroying parts of it too?!?!

These last few months have been/ are the worst months for produce because the weather sucks! Seriously I wanna tell these people to fuck off! I wanna repeat all the above stated reasons! I wanna tell them, "fine go to the grocery store!"

Honestly, if it is that bad then just don't buy it! But alas I cannot say these things. I bite my tongue and say, "I am so sorry and I will look into it immediately."

I continue on with my day and wait until that rare custy comes and thanks me for doing a good job. It really turns your day around when the custys actually care.

Now if only I could get those rare custys to fill out comment cards...it's the only way it reaches the management.

Until Next Time,

--CSI

 

Cost Hell Parking Lot Piggy Leaves Gross Food Mystery

From CSI: This is a picture of something I found in the parking lot at work. Is it squished pizza? Maybe squished bread?...the world may never know...

RHUER HAS HORRIBLE HAIRY EXPERIENCE AT BJ'S RESTAURANT

From CSI

Last night I had the displeasure of going to BJs restaurant. I went with a friend of mine and when we walked in there was a crowd of employees at the door. One was on the phone, a few were talking, another was just standing there. I had to wait to even be acknowledged. When someone finally decided to notice us she was very nonchalant about it, saying, "oh sorry." We get sat and finally get our order in. The waiter doesn't write any of it down.

I get that some people can do that, I didn't say anything to him. However my friend started asking questions about a dish and I just had this feeling he was going to forget and get our order wrong. He did. He brought the incorrect food and as he laid it on the table he said, "and this isn't suppose to that etc etc." Basically points out everything that is wrong.

I know some of you may think that it's the cook's fault but I saw the receipt. He put the order in wrong. I get that shit happens you know, I didn't make a huge fuss over it. I was gonna end up with free side dishes.

However it was kind of aggravating in addition to the lack of service at the door. I did not say anything though. So he told us he would be back with the correct side dishes and I proceeded to reach for my plate and to my horror there was a long, thick, dark hair on my food. It covered most of the food.

I was instantly sick to my stomach and really had no interest in eating. Something like this has never happened to me before and I feel sorry for anyone that it has happened to. My friend pushed my plate away and we waited for the waiter to return. He came back, without the side dishes and asked if something was wrong with my food.

I said, "Well, just the long thick hair on it."

He said, "oh my god."

Which kind of made me laugh inside because he seemed truly taken aback. I'm telling you it was VERY noticeable.

He said sorry kind of half heartedly and said he would bring a new one. My friend decided to wait for me to get my food, thinking it really shouldn't take long anyway.

Like 10 minutes later the waiter comes and asks if I would like a soup or salad while I wait. I had already had a salad earlier before the food came. Remember...the order he didn't write down.

He then said, "Oh yeah you already had a salad..ok."

Then he just left.

30 minutes later out comes my food! I do not work in the food industry but really..after finding a hair I would have thought that would be put out STAT. Especially since they closed in an hour and were not busy at all.

Needless to say my friend waited that whole time and his food was cold. I really had no interest in eating after that and didn't eat much. Ended up getting a to go box.

Now I don't expect an ass-kissing or anything but besides my half hearted apology from my waiter no one said anything to me. I would have thought that the manager or someone would have come out and done some damage control. I mean yea he messed up my order, not that big of a deal. However I found a fucking HAIR on my food. A thick, long, dark hair on my food! This cannot be good for them. I left feeling ripped off and sick. I do not think I will be returning anytime soon.

--CSI

 

Costco Hell

CSI Update:

School keeps me very busy but I just had to share my Sunday with you.

(Photo above from my cell phone)

The door counts were in the 300s all day. This means 300 card holders...not people.

So a family of 5 with one card gets counted as 1.

These counts are also done every half hour and I assure you every half hour just brought more idiots and little demon spawns.

They took my help from me right when I got there so I was alone all day.

I wonder if I keep telling myself "I love my job" I will believe it at some point. lol

Hope all is well in your side of the world.

--CSI

 

CSI: Message To Piggy Shoppers

From CSI (Costco Secret Informant):

Dear "I want one from the bottom" shopper,

I saw you shopping today, digging through my product and throwing empty boxes behind you. I waited to see if maybe you would pick up that box you just put on the floor, of course you did not. You walked away as if the box was already there and you glance at me insulted because you had to walk around it.

However, I SAW YOU put it there. Yes, I see everything you do. I know what you are doing even when I am not looking at you. How you ask? Because there are so many of you and you are all the same!

I have a question for you. Why must you get one from the bottom?

I know you are assuming its "fresher" or "newer". Most of the time they are not though. They are either all the same date or occasionally the older ones may end up on the bottom. Older on the bottom you gasp! Yes, because random people sometimes get their hands into the department and stock it wrong. 

Sometimes I want to save you the embarrassment of lifting boxes and looking like a fool (oh yes you do look like a fool!) but mostly stop you from the mess you are creating! So I tell you that they are all the same (why would I lie?) and there you go digging towards the bottom still. Do you realize how stupid you just made yourself look?! Do you realize that you are the butt of the jokes of every employee in the store?!

The other day I encountered one of your "buddies" they went straight for the product without looking at any of it (and they never do look). 

I proceeded with my normal, "they are all the same" line and I actually got a response!

"*insert nasty tone* The ones on the bottom look better!"

Now, I might have believed them if I had not just personally stocked that product and knew they were all the same date, came at the same time and even from the same place! I might have believed them if they even looked at the product on top. However, they did not even look at the product they grabbed from the bottom!!!!! Idiots!

I just really wanted to let you know how stupid you look to the world, the employees and the few "normal" shoppers.

I also wanted you to know how horrible you make my day and how much you ruin my mood. Do you enjoy making life hard for other people? Does it make you happy?

You know I would not have an issue with you reaching into the bottom if you had the common courtesy to not make a mess. I watch you move boxes onto the floor and on top of other product (you are crushing and ruining product btw!) and then you walk away! Why?! 

No, it is not my job to clean up after you. It is my job to have product out for you to buy. Which you make impossible when I have to follow you around like the small child you are and clean up your mess.

Then you have the nerve to come to me and demand to know why something isn't out for sale!

I have time lines to keep and managers to make happy; you come in and make it all last longer and get me in trouble for not having everything finished because I had to fix the mess you created!

Do you realize the hassle you are and the problems you create?! I hope that stuff you got from the bottom rots quickly and I hope you got the oldest product we had. Why?

Because you don't deserve good things for the trouble you cause. I hope you have a horrible day, just like the one you create for me.

--CSI

Awesome Store Name

From CSI.

 

Shopping Cart Art or Horror?

RHU's CSI (Costco Secret Informant) discovered a grizzly shopping cart scene in the neighborhood (and surprisingly not at the Costco).

Is this art?

 

Or the work of Hannibal Lechter?

 

CSI Has Retail Hell!

CSI sent a pic of the display where they purchased their Retail Hell from.

Sitting next to Born Round is totally fucking awesome. Thanks CSI!

Return Hell

So you're looking at this saying WTF is it?
It's from CSI, Retail Hell Underground's Costco Secret Informant.
Here's what CSI has to say:
 

"I know its been a while. Its been crazy. Stupid bullshit mostly.
The above pic is a return.
Someone returned one cucumber and 4 single cherries.
And got their full money back on both.
Man I wish we would stop accepting these."

Okay that's just customer service madness. What's next a peach pit?

This incident reminds me of a time I was at Costco and saw a woman demand a refund for a cake she had purchased. The cashier asked her where the cake was. She looked at him like he'd just fallen out of a spaceship and then said, "WE ATE IT! It was horrible and I want my money back." He gave her the refund. Bitch got herself a free cake. Costco's bakery pretty much rocks, I can't imagine a cake from their being "horrible." Which makes me think she was scamming.

Costco Secret Informant: Maggots Anyone?

It's a good thing CSI was working yesterday or someone may have ended up with meatballs and maggots in their spaghetti. The plastic wrap stayed in tact after the jar broke. Some how the little bugs found their way in. Too bad they couldn't have been the sprinkles on the frozen yogurt Alycia was forced to serve up below.

The Great Wall of Boxes

Costco Stock Hell from CSI: "Valentines Day 2009. I worked alone for 8 hrs and it was crazy busy. This was only the beginning of what I had to deal with." Where's the love Costco?

Cart Hooking

Cart caught hooking it in the rain in Los Angeles. Sent in by CSI!

Clementine Retail Hell

So you may be wondering where has CSI been?

Much can be told of that but let me start with saying that I got injured by an out of control shopping cart and the holidays were hell!!

At least I got a few days off! 

At some point I was working 9 days in a row and Christmas was my first day off. I slept all day oh and I got sick!

Because of my injury, the doctor had me on sitting job only and that was hell!

They had me making member service calls... "Hi, is "dumb member" there? Oh hi ! I am calling from Costco Wholesale...I noticed you came to our membership desk on "date you returned 10 year old vacuum claiming it quit working" I just wanted to make sure everything worked out for you and you had no problems...oh that's great and thanks for coming in!!"

After one week I begged the doctor to let me get out from behind the counter!

 

Also, something new to add to my Costco world tour, back in late October 2008 I was sent to morning shifts. You may ask what is that? Oh that's when you work at 4:30am! You read that right...AM! Some days I worked at 4am! More stories of that to come.

 

I will leave you with this..something that happened today at work. 

 

A woman is standing in front of the clementines looking puzzled and she calls me over...

 

Stupid woman: So where are your clementines? These are not clementines, these are oranges! *All boxes and bags of product state clementines as well as price sign*

 

Me: These are our clementines ma'am, they are just two different brands. The only oranges we have are in that black box over there. 

 

Stupid woman: No, these are not clementines. I want tangerines and those are two different things!!

 

Me: * Did she just say tangerines?* I am sorry but these are the only clementines we have. They are just two different brands but we consider them the same thing. They have them same item number and are the same price.

 

Stupid woman: *while staring at the boxes* Ok, what brand are these?!?!?!

 

Me: *Please, kill me now*

 

At least produce is welcoming me back with open arms! haha

CSI

Dumb-ass Costco Shopper

So I was at work with my badge on right.

My badge states "Costco Wholesale" at the top.

My name is the middle and my department on the bottom.

I was talking to a guy who worked in sales also wearing a similar badge and a red vest which clearly stated "Costco Wholesale" as well.

Lady walks up to us and says: "YOU!!! You work at Costco!"

*Points meanly at us*

I said: " No, actually I don't but he does."

*points to the guy I was talking to*

She said "Oh...ok."

Turns away from me and starts talking to him.

 

It will never end...never.

Costco Secret Informant: Just Another Day At Costco

The back of Costco is off limits to members because it's the receiving dock. Lots of pallets back there..stuff that dumb members would definitely hurt themselves on, all that great stuff. Now this lovely area is marked off by a BIG RED banner that says "Employees Only Past this Point." (Similar pictured above in yellow). Walking by this area it is quite obvious it is not part of the shopping store and not just anyone goes back there. Are you with me? So get this...

 

I just finished throwing some boxes into the baler and I was returning to my produce department. I walked right under the BIG sign! and I even have a name tag on that so nicely says "Costco" on it....the moment I turn the corner there is a woman standing there who gives me a double take and on the second time around asks "Do you work here?"

 *face palm* It will never end...never...

Here we have two pics of an army of shopping carts full of merchandise - all the shit people just throw everywhere or take to the register and decide they don't want. And it took me until midnight to put away.

And now for Costco Parking Lot Hell:

Apparently Jack in the Box goes well with Costco - I found three fucking carts that day with Jack in it! WTF?!

Look! Carts make the tree grow!

Some members got thirsty and left the recycling to us!

Members creating a new trash area. I am puzzled though. If they only used the boxes to carry their shit from store to car what will they use from car to house?

Welcome to produce hell lol..this is just one pic. It looked like this all day..I'd fix it and do one other thing..come back...all fucked up again

A man picked up sliced pineapple and said, "ooooooo come to Daddy." I swear to god I was scared....He was alone too, so he had to be talking to the pineapple..gotta love Costco members...hahaha.

Until next time Slaves,

CSI

CSI Report: Costco Bathroom Retail Hell

CSI - our Costco Secret Informant has just notified us that she officially considers cross-training a total Retail Hell Crime. Her "cross-training" assignment was to clean the women's bathroom. The Retail Crime occurred when she walked in and saw this: CLICK HERE.

Costco Secret Informant CSI: Shopping Cart Retail Hell Pet Peeves

C.S.I. - Costco Secret Informant
Case: Pet Peeves on Carts.

Peeve #1: I'm a woman, but not prissy, but when you have to push 6-10 heavy as shit carts and your building momentum down the parking lot, headed to the store and some bitch walking in front of the cart train suddenly stops, I have to put on the motherfucking cart train breaks to keep from running the fucker over. Then I'm supposed to wait until they move their fat ass and start all over again! I mean come on!! Heavy fucking carts!! Move people!!!!! My costco is on a hill and it sucks pushing the carts up hill, but then to have to stop because some Member decides they want to stop and chat....or they want to grab their basket from the wall and put their purse down and then their kid and then fucking check it out and make sure its good.....ahhh fuck them! Going down hill from the left side of the warehouse rocks though! When people wanna step in front of me once again I have to stop except its harder because I have the pull of the hill and my conscience telling me to teach them a lesson...

Peeve #2: Dangerous things like CARS and the dumbasses driving them! They make us wear orange vests but I don't think it helps because I had a Member start backing up when I was right behind him....I almost rammed the carts I had right up his Honda's ass.

Peeve #3: When those CARS driven by dumbasses see me coming and decide to drive faster to get around my runaway cart train. I want to yell out, go ahead and smash into the carts you stupid asshole, but please keep my body out of the demolition derby.

Peeve #4: Members who leave their carts WHEREVER THE FUCK THEY WANT! Especially when it's a short distance away from where they actually belong. In the photo below, the man in white is where they belong, but I guess it's just too far to walk for some Members.

Peeve #5: Members who are too lazy to return carts to the inside of the designated parking lot cart corral when they are INCHES away from it as shown in this photo below. The cart was left on the outside of the corral. The Lazy bitch couldn't walk five inches to put it in the proper spot. I could give them an A for effort, but hell no! They get a big fat fuckin F.

Peeve #6: Leaving the baskets full of boxes? WTF? Why did they ask for them in the first place if they aren't taking them home? They get outside and empty their shit and then leave the boxes on the ground and in the basket. Then I have to go picking them all up. They had the fucking cart to haul their shit to the car. Did it really need to be in boxes?

Peeve #7: The whole Monkey see Monkey do thing, where Members just leave carts in a weird place like THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET and every one follows. "Hey lets put carts on top of flatbeds and put them in trees!" Stupid dickwads.

Peeve #8: When Members leave garbage in the baskets. The white blob in the photo below is a FUCKING DIRTY DIAPER that some douchebag left in the cart. Believe it or not this happens all the time.

Peeve #9: When the front line of the carts hit the damn parking block and I take 10 carts to the gut because that shit stopped instantly and went right back into me. I know that was probably my fault but hey....job hazard...carts are dangerous! Maybe I should scream "Workman's Comp!"

Peeve #10: Members who say, "Hey, can I have one of those carts?" as I am pushing a train of a thousand of them. Fuck you! I'll run your ass over if you don't get out of my way!

Peeve #11: Members who feel the need to walk home with a cart and leave it on the street. This isn't a Costco cart in the pic below and I sure as fuck wouldn't walk into the neighborhood to retrieve it, but still. If you need a cart get your own. Don't take ours.

Case closed.

CSI
Costco Secret Informant