So, I had a real jewel the other day.
My second call was an outbound call, meaning I was calling the customer to verify some charges with them and make sure there was no fraud on the account. Now, I understand, these calls can be a little nerve wracking for the customer, especially if I have to authenticate them. But please don’t be this douche.
The name on the card was… let’s say ‘Lizzie Z-something’. The first name was decidedly a woman’s name, and if I tried to pronounce that last name I was going to horribly butcher it. So, in cases like this, I will say ‘And who have I contacted today?’ because it’s neutral enough that it can be taken to mean ‘I want to make sure I’ve called the right phone number’.
And a deep, DEEP male voice says ‘Lizzie Z-something’.
Yeah, I’m authenticating you.
Terah: Okay, here at [Bank] we monitor your account 24 hours a day to prevent fraud. If at any point in this you feel uncomfortable, or don’t trust me, you’re welcome to hang up and call the number on your debit card to speak to another associate. May I have your driver’s license number?
Yes, we have this on file. Because you need 2 forms of ID to open an account, and we keep them ON FILE. My department is one of the few that uses this to authenticate with, but it’s well within our right.
‘Lizzie’: [Laughing] You are so full of fucking shit. [Bank] would NEVER ask for that. Are you PROUD of yourself for trying to scam people like this?
Terah: [Already notating ‘Refused to authenticate’] Well, sir, you’re always welcome to call the number on your debit card if you don’t trust me.
‘Lizzie’: You know what? Fuck you, and I hope you rot in hell for this. Bunch of goddamn con artists.
Terah: Okay, well, is there anything else I can assist you with?
‘Lizzie’: Yeah. Suck my fucking dick. Sideways. Your mouth is obviously big enough.
Terah: Okay then, sir. Well, please head into a [Bank] branch at your earliest convenience to get your debit card up and running again. Thank you for being a customer, and have a nice day.
I disconnected the call, notated ‘Card Holder Refused to Authenticate. Refer to Banking Center with 2 forms of ID’, and went about my business.
I get it, it’s nerve wracking if someone calls you and wants bank information, but instead of being an asshole, why not take their advice and call the number on the BANK ISSUED CARD to make sure you’re SPEAKING TO THE BANK?!
I hate customers.