We are honored to present the mighty Retail Balls Award to our newest RHUer for her heroic handling of a rude, creepy custy!
I unfortunately work at your local 24 hour Hell-Mart as a cashier. I've seen the horrors of crusties (homeless people stripping in our doorways, screaming at us to give them clean clothes) and piggies (one lady dumped her rejected ice cream cone on our magazine rack) and tonight was a moment where I felt like it was time to stop retail.
I was manning the smoke shop register when a man came up.
Strike one: He was on his phone ignoring me as he loaded his order on the belt. I can ignore that even if it is rude as hell. I still attempted to greet him and ask if he found everything ok.
Strike two: He was loud enough to be heard five registers over. I usually tune these phone addicts out and just ring them out as fast as I can. No bother even looking at them until I'm done. He kept saying "Damn, baby," followed by a chuckle. I just hummed some nonsense to myself.
Strike three: He was having phone sex. Now, at first I didn't realise what he was discussing with this very important phone call at four in the morning, but when he boomed out "Tell me wat ya wearin," my ears picked up in horror.
I'm a very shy person when it involves private matters as such and usually just run away from simple sex jokes. So I did what I do best.
Me: EXCUSE ME SIR. DID YOU FINE EVERYTHING OKAY?
Customer: *ignoring me* Dat sexy little thing? You got dat matching lace panties on to, boo?
Me: WOW, THESE SOAPS ARE SUCH A GREAT SALE! YOU WERE SMART TO BUY THEM NOW!
Customer: *glares at me for a split second and goes back to his phone*
Me: OH BOY LOOK! YOU MISSED THIS COUPON ON THIS DEODORANT! GOOD THING IT'S BRIGHT YELLOW AND I SAW IT!
Then my moment of truth came when I heard the woman's voice ask "Who is dat loud ass bitch?" over the phone.
I just smiled as bright as the burning sun. My name badge had broken in half do to it's old age so I didn't have it on.
Me: TELL HER IT'S JAKE FROM STATE FARM!
The customer just stared at me as the realization that I have heard every word of his call hit him like a truck.
Customer: Babe, I'm at Hell-Mart. I'll call you back in a few.
I cashed him out and watched him nearly run out the door.
Sometimes it is really satisfying to kill with kindness.