Retail Hell Underground

Grocery Store Signage: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese

 

From Droolings

 

 

 

Grocery Store Hell: Is the 'fresh salmon' "fresh"?

 

From Tritefull, Tales From Retail:

So, I work at a grocery store in an upper-class area of town. Sometimes I'm a clerk, but I also work extensively in the fisheries section of our dear shop. The other day a gentleman approached the counter and I was the only one working.

"Is the salmon fresh?" he asked. I replied that it was. Perplexity consumed his face. "Surely it can't be, it had to come on a truck didn't it?" "Yes, but it was caught this morning!" "But it isn't salmon season." At this point the shell-shock kicked in and I thought to myself 'like what in the hell does he want?' "No, it isn't salmon season but it was caught this morning from the salmon farm down the road see." "OH!" he puffed, "well it isn't friggen fresh is it then!?" Then I lost my temper. "Well, sorry but we haven't a lake out back where we haul the closest, pinkest actinopterygian that swims at me!" He turnt red and trotted away with the salmon in his hand.

I realise that I probably shouldn't have reacted like that, but this actually has a happy ending. The next day, when my manager was in, he called me laughing and told me I made his day because apparently the chap was a real pain up the backside.

You really learn how to sense all the different types of neurosis when you're a university student working part time at the grocers.

--Tritefull

 

 

 

Skilled Chefs

 

I guess the chefs from M&M/Mars must moonlight at this deli?

-- Perpetually Indignant

 

 

Dumbass Customers: "Do I just put these on and start grabbing?"

 

From  smakorvigabitar Tales From Retail:

I work at a somewhat large grocery store, and we have a big "pick-and-mix-yourself-salad bar". I have been so fantastically lucky (not) to get to tend/open/close this salad bar from time to time.

This weekend I had just closed the salad bar and was finishing up. Let me set the scene: All the containers had lids on them, all the spoons/tongs were gone and the lights in the salad bar were off. All the little screens on every container were turned off and black. It's obviously closed, with nothing on it except cleaning supplies and single-use plastic gloves on a shelf on top (which we use for sanitary reasons while filling it up etc).

Enter clueless man.

CL: Hi! Can I just ask you, how does your salad bar work?

Me: Hi! Im sorry but it's clo...(interrupted)

CL: Do I just put these on and start grabbing?

He is holding two of our single-use gloves and makes a grabbing movement in the air.

Me: Uhm...no, we have tongs and stuff. But unfortunately I have already closed it for the day. Sorry!

I imagine him going through all the 30+ containers just grabbing stuff with his hands. Would you change gloves between every container or just between customers...

-- smakorvigabitar