My sister works for a grocery store and talked to a guy on the phone who wanted to return spoiled meat.
First he had no receipt and they said, "No problem bring in the meat and we’ll exchange it for you."
Then he said he had the receipt but had eaten the meat...
She asked him why he wasn't getting his stomach pumped at the hospital, since he ate bad meat....
He abruptly hung up.
The funniest story she told me though was the customer who called and said he bought lunch meat, ate it, and now was hallucinating.
He didn’t want a refund, he wanted advice.
They kept advising him to go to a hospital and he kept calling back... to the point that they stopped answering the phone.
I suspect his hallucinations had nothing to do with the meat and everything to do with a little something else he ingested on the side.