I work in a fast food chain. Not the biggest ever but well known in my area.
We constantly have customers confuse our menu with the competitors down the street. So it's not odd to here orders asking for their food, or asking us to make our food without X ingredient that we don't put on but they do.
However, sometimes the don't get the hint and since I'm giving my two weeks tomorrow, I have been... lets just say acting up a bit.
Custy: ...and then i want relish on my burger
Me: Wha... I'm sorry but did you say relish?
Custy: Yes. Relish.
(We don't carry relish. I don't know any place within 25 miles that does. I tell her we don't carry it)
Custy: YES. YOU. DO. I want relish and I want my chili too!
Me: Uhmmm ma'am we don't carry chili either.
Custy: YES... YOU... HAVE... CHILI... I... WANT... IT!
Me: Ma'am again. We do not sell chili.
Custy: YES! I got it here last time i came in!!
(Having had this request once before I know we stopped serving chili over 7 years ago)
Me: ... Ma'am.... either order something else or leave my lane. We don't have what you want, and if you continue to shout at me, I will simply turn off the speaker and ignore you.
Custy: CHI..LI! It's a simple order!
Me: Lady you are an idiot. I'm the manager. Do me a favor, hmm? Go to (place that has chili) if you want it. Or go across the street to the grocery store and make it. We don't HAVE it and even if we did, I would never want to sell you it with your attitude. If you say one more word other than thank you, I will call the cops. Get OUT of my lane. NOW. (sweet as syrup tone) Have a great day!
Annd she left and I got a good laugh with corporate over it.