I used to work at a frozen steak store, selling frozen, vacuum sealed meats.
1. Christmas time. Some old curmudgeon strolls in and, as I am required, I ask, "Can I help you find something tonight?"
"NO!" He snaps back. "I will not be helping you get your Christmas bonus!"
... Uh...I make a little over minimum wage, I don't work on commission, and I couldn't afford ANYTHING in this store.
Merry Christmas to you too asswipe.
Ordinarily this isn't a problem and the store likes the sale on its books, but this woman had a list of twenty people she wanted to send twenty different things to and I wasn't allowed to say any of the names, addresses, or products out loud because she didn't want anyone in the store to hear.
It was a security risk - she claims. I get that, they are all wealthy doctors receiving expensive gifts (the whole order was upwards of a couple thousand bucks) but maybe next time you should have done your business over the phone in your own home?
So she hands me a piece of paper with the names and everything...hand written almost illegibly and tells me to just do it. I have to verify everything to her, and almost every time I had read it wrong... e's looked like c's, 2's looked like 6's somehow...it was bullshit.
So then she berates me for not being able to read her terrible chicken scratches, she yells at me for saying parts of names, or vague descriptions of product aloud in an effort to ensure her order is CORRECT.
After about twenty minutes of being hissed at and called an idiot, I just said, "LOOK. I have a line out the DOOR behind you. I am trying to accomplish this expeditiously and accurately, but my hands are TIED if I cannot ask you the proper questions about this order and verify it for accuracy. I suggest you stop berating me and allow me to do my job if you want your order to be processed correctly. Otherwise, all I have to do is make one global change to your order with one keystroke and you'll be dropping three grand on a Christmas gift that'll arrive in July!"
At that point my manager took over.
3. Ash Wednesday.
A woman comes in with ashes on her head. She asks how much for a box of chicken. I give her the best deal which was a 24 pack for $19.99.
She doesn't want that much chicken.
I say, "What about fish? Lent just began today, and we have halibut for $19.99 as well."
She agrees. Since I'm evaluated on average ticket, I'm always trying to add-on at the last minute. "Oh, and we have a four pack of chicken for $9.99...I think. I need to double check the price."
So I get both packages and bring them to the register. She then says she doesn't want the halibut anymore. so now I'm stuck with a $10 ticket when I need a $75 average at LEAST. FUCK.
So when I checked the price in the computer I was pleased to see that the 4 pack wasn't on sale this week. It was $16.79. And that's when the shit hit the fan. I told her the price and apologized for misspeaking, then she starts going off on me about false advertisement and how I quoted her a price so I have to honor it.
I said, "I never quoted it, I needed to check. If you don't want the chicken at that price, you could come back next week and check the manager's specials then."
She said she wanted the chicken now. I said, "Alright $16.79 please."
I said I couldn't change the price in the computer, that's how it was ringing. She told me to get a manager. I informed her that I was working alone that day. She told me to call a manager. I said I could do that but he wouldn't be able to change the price remotely. She steamed about the whole thing being ridiculous and left.
I breathed. 30 seconds later she came back. Now she started spouting about being a paralegal and that she used to work in retail and that I was required by law to honor signage even if it was placed incorrectly by an employee.
I told her there was no signage for the item, I apologized for misspeaking but I told her what I thought the price was and that I would have to check the computer. She started giving me a very rude and patronizing speech about law and that I was breaking the law and that she was a paralegal. (Yes I get it, you are an undertrained poor excuse for a law school drop out. My uncle is the assistant states attorney...shall I call HIM?)
She said if I ever wanted to be a manager...
"Well no." I came back with. "I DON"T want to be a manager. EVER. I DON'T CARE about this job. It pays my tuition while I attend school. At this point I feel you are repeating yourself and I have made myself clear. Any further intimidation from you, I will classify as harassment and I will be more than happy to call mall security."
She left. I breathed. Fought tears. Went into the back room to call my manager and give him a heads up. Next thing I know the door to the back room opens and there she is!
I said, "Ma'am, you need to leave this area immediately, this is for employees only."
"I want you to give me the chicken for 9.99, this is terrible service."
"I CANNOT give you the chicken for 9.99. It is mechanically impossible. Not to mention that after the way you've treated me I have no desire whatsoever to give you good service even if I could. Please leave."
"You're breaking the law!"
"I'm calling security!"
She left. She didn't return.
Ashes on her damn forehead. The woman went to CHURCH that morning and the first day of a 40 day period of ATONEMENT, sacrifice, and self improvement.
And people wonder why I'm an atheist.