Retail Hell Underground

The Magic of Dr. Martin Luther King

As far as I know he never worked in retail like many of us, but Dr. King was all about the service of love and his ministry was his store! He fought for equal rights for all, passionately believed in using the power of love and non-violence, and was the youngest person ever to win a Nobel Peace Prize. That's just a tidbit.

Today we remember this great man. You can do so by keeping his message of love and freedom alive in your heart in your own way.

We all have a dream and we all yearn to yell out, "Free at last!"

Celebrate a dream you have for yourself today! Be kind to those around you --yes even your Asshole Coworker and the Crazy Bitch Custy who shows up every Monday! -- and take some action, big or small, moving yourself toward your dream. No action is too small and that includes Googling! Do whatever you can and no matter how fucked up things are at the moment, or how many million miles away you may feel from it. Let this great man's memory and inspirational words keep you going through life's shit storms so you don't stop until you reach your heart's desire. Thank you Dr. King!

--Freddy

 

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

 

 We must accept finite disappointment, but not lose infinite hope.

 

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

 

But I know somehow, only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.

 

Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear.

 

The time is always right to do what is right.

-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Black Friday Sales Up 7 Percent Over 2010 - Corporations Ignore Employee Pleading For Different Hours and Shoppers Support It

The Custys have spoken and as usual greed wins out over compassion for people. Shoppers are like a herd of cattle and they will follow whatever the store corporations set up. And now that there is a 7% increase after making everyone work on Thanksgiving, you can bet your burnt turkey ass everyone will be open next year, and most likely all day.

You overworked retail slaves don't need Thanksgiving, you can eat your bird at 8 am then go to work, you can work all night when you're not used to it and crash your car into a canal, that's your job. You signed up for it. We are the customers and we want to shop after our big, leisure, enjoyable Thanksgiving dinners. Now ring us up and don't forget my 20% Black Friday coupon!

It's the continuing deterioration of a beloved holiday for many. Since the corporations have already conquered opening stores and making their employees work horribly long hours on thanksgiving, I think turkey day should just be named Black Thanksgiving, because it has now become a dark, exhausting day for thousands in a America. Happy Black Thanksgiving!

--Freddy

 

Info from Huff Po:

The holiday shopping season got off to a strong start on Black Friday, with retail sales up 7 percent over last year, according to the most recent survey. Now stores just have to keep buyers coming back without the promise of door-buster savings.

Buyers spent $11.4 billion at retail stores and malls, up nearly $1 billion from last year, according to a Saturday report from ShopperTrak. It was the largest amount ever spent on the day that marks the beginning of the holiday shopping season, and the biggest year-over-year increase since 2007. Chicago-based ShopperTrak gathers data from 25,000 outlets across the U.S., including individual stores and shopping centers.

The Mall of America in Bloomington, Minn. broke its Black Friday record for shoppers, thanks to a decision to open at midnight for the first time. Around 210,000 visitors came to the mall on Friday, up from 200,000 last year, according to mall spokeswoman Bridget Jewell.

Online shopping was strong as well, with a 24.3 percent increase in online spending on Black Friday, according to IBM, which tracks sales at 500 online retailers.

Bill Martin, who founded ShopperTrak, said he was surprised by the strong showing. He had expected the weak economy to dent consumer confidence and keep more shoppers out of the stores, or at least from spending much. Instead, he said, they responded to a blanket of promotions, from 60- and 70-percent off deals to door-buster savings on electronics.

"I'm pleased to see it. You can't have a great season without having a good Black Friday," Martin told The Associated Press in an interview.

Sales were also up 4 percent each in the two weeks leading up to Black Friday, as retailers started their promotions earlier than usual or extended their hours.

Still, he suspects things will quiet down this weekend, as promotions end and the buying frenzy subsides. ShopperTrak is expecting holiday sales to be up 3.3 percent this season. Retailers generally rely on sales between Thanksgiving and Christmas to make up 20 percent of their annual take.

There weren't many shoppers at Pioneer Place Mall in Portland, Ore., on Saturday.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

NEW BLOG: PIGGY PEOPLE!

Hey RHUERS!

I'm excited to tell you all about a new photo blog project I just launched called PIGGY PEOPLE Yes, it's our Piggy Shoppers after they've left the store! I've also included many pics from RHU, so you might see one of yours on there! The rest are a bunch of shots I took mostly in my neighborhood. It amazes me what some people do with their garbage, and why they can't find a trash can to get rid of it! --And sometimes piggy leftovers can be quite funny. Thus the need to create a blog called Piggy People! LOL

Thank you RHUers for your amazing support and all the great stories and pics you are flooding into the Underground. We are working to get them up faster. For now have fun checking out those little piggies who are ravaging the planet!

Stay strong slaves and keep on keepin on!

xoxox

--Freddy

CLICK HERE FOR PIGGIES

 

Customer Reject

Was at Hellmart last night and spotted this funny reject. If we hadn't already bought a super-sized double pack of Doritos at Costco, I would have saved a wally slave from a go back (there were no Doritos anywhere near the Oreo display) and snatched them off the shelf! I'm dedicating this Reject to Jit because she just LOVES Doritos - NOT! Something tells me she was behind this...xD

-- Freddy

 

Woman's Day Gets It Right With "10 Things Your Retail Clerk Won't Tell You"

Freddy here slaves!

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Woman's Day writer Amanda Greene for her fantastic story "10 Things Your Retail Clerk Won't Tell You."

It was so refreshing to be part of an article that understands our problems and promotes awareness to the bady custy cause.

This also comes at a good time after that other popular magazine that starts with C did a huge injustice to us all by telling custys to throw trantrums. Amanda offered real, postive advice that can help both us and the custys. I want to thank her for writing such an amazing article and spreading the word about our problems in hell.

We need more media articles like this! Check it out and show Amanda some support by leaving comments.

Hang in there slaves!

--Freddy

10 Things Your Retail Clerk Won't Tell You

 

STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP!

Hey RHUers! It's Freddy!

Many of you already know, but I wanted to shamelessly promote my new book to all of you!  

STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP!

It's a fun humor book with a 150 things that make the gay heart weep - not to mention gag, puke, cry like a baby, and possibly run screaming into the street! Besides the weepy entries, I also took most of the crazy pics with my amazing photography skills and bad photoshopping!  

Thanks to Carolanne for taking the pic above at Urban Outfitters in SF!! So awesome to see it next to such great books as What's Your Poo Telling You and Position of the Day!

Below is a sample of the weepiness you'll find in STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP!

No, I did not take the pic of SP aiming a fire arm, I'd probably be dead right now or my nuts would have been blown clean off! I did, however, take the scary manboobs pic (you should see the rest of him - talk about nauseous weeping!) 

Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep is available at stores, but you can get it pretty cheap on Amazon - link is on RHU's sidebar. However, if you want to support your fellow slaves, I recommend buying it at Borders, Barnes and Noble, Kitson, or Urban Outfitters!

I've created a blog to go with Gay Heart and besides all of the superficial silly stuff we weep over, you'll find an exorbitant amout of weeping and wailing on issues, headlines, and videos!

Click the heart below to check out the blog. You might see a few RHU pics on there and if you see anything that makes your heart weep (you don't have to be gay) take a pic and and send it!

 

There's also news about my other book - that place we call HELL!!!!

 

RETAIL HELL, HOW I SOLD MY SOUL TO THE STORE, CONFESSIONS OF A TORTURED SALES ASSOCIATE

...is now out in PAPERBACK!!!!

For those of you that couldn't afford the pricey hardcover, it's now cheap! (check out Amazon's prices on the side bar!)

And for those of you RHUers who already bought the hardcover: Thank you from the bottom of my weary retail-trampled gay heart! xoxoxox!!!!! 

For those still hungry for more insanity at The Big Fancy Department Store, the publisher has added new material to the paperback!!!!

THE FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE BONUS SECTION!!

For Retail Hell's  Free Gift with Purchase Bonus Material, there's a rant about my Big Fancy employee number (don't we all just feel like freakin numbers sometimes?), some funny tales about how the Customer is Always Right (and what happens when I let them be right), my take on Shopper Do's and Don'ts, and even a readers guide!

Jason lived some of The Big Fancy hell with me, though he is not mentioned in the book, as he arrived in the Handbag Department at a later time.

Carolanne also worked with me and for those in the know her character in the book also starts with a C!

Slaving away beside the two of them (and several others) made life at The Big Fancy much more bearable. When Retail Hell strikes, it's going to be your coworkers and custy friends that help you get through it with laughter. In spite of the heinous Big Fancy trauma, we had many good times in the stockroom bitching and chuckling about the craziness of it all.

I want to thank all of you RHUers! Your stories, friendship, and support have kept me going and helped create this amazing place where we get to support each other and  say WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO SAY!

I've got some copies of Retail Hell to give away, so let's have the first contest!

Keeping in theme with my employee number rant titled "Branded By Numbers" tell me a short tale about your employee numbers (present or past!). Write it in the comments section here. Carolanne, Jason, Burger Bitch, and I will judge and the winner gets an autographed copy and their story published on Retail Hell Underground and The Retail Hell Book Blog! Be sure to leave your email address so we can contact you (it's not shown to the public).

And since we all know there is nothing more weepier than working in Retail Hell, below are a few new tales from my fellow gay retail slave brothers!

I hope you all survive the holidays and get to enjoy some time with your friends and family. It's a sucky time of year for people in the service industry, and I have not forgotten how exhausting it all is, having had to work Christmas Eve and the day after for decades. Know that RHU will be here for you to let it all out, make you laugh, or hopefully cheer you up!

Wishing you all a Retail Hell-Free Holiday Season! Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate it, and may the New Year bring everything you dream of!(yes that includes winning the lottery so you can retire!)

Keep on Keepin on RHUers!

xoxo

--Freddy

a.k.a Freeman =D

Cheers everyone! Merrry Fucking Christmas!! How did I get through my Retail Hell Holidays? With my old retail friends Jack Daniels and Thera-flu!

 

Let's have another contest! You may have seen this freaky custy head in some of the pics accompanying stories. Jason and I got creative with a Halloween prop, and created a crazy lady for RHU.

And now, it's your job to NAME her!!

Once again Carolanne, Jason, Burger Bitch, and I will choose and be sure to leave your email!

 

She looks to be an entitled Bloodsucking Discount Rat or possibly a descendent from any of the Bitch Families: Nasty, Picky, Rude, Mean, Huge, or the most popular, Fucking.

 

The cool thing about RHU's crazy lady head is you can tilt her a different angles and get seamingly different expressions! It's crusty magic!

 

Crusty want a treat? Good Crusty! Stop yer bitchin and don't shit in any fitting rooms and if you behave nicely, you'll get one.

 

NAME RHU'S crazy lady head!

P.S. To keep it fair if someone has already posted a name you wanted, come up with a new one. If there are duplicate names the first poster will win.

The contests will run through Wednesday.

Also - please post employee number tales and names here in the comments section. Don't send emails. This way everyone can read the contenders!

 

 

Rude Grocery Customer Caught In The Act

From Freddy: Don't you just love it when you can get that perfect sneaky-candid shot with your camera phone and it's not all blurred and fucked up!?!.

This grocery store douchebag custy was pissing me off to no end when I saw him committing not just one retail hell crime, but THREE!!!!

1. The obvious in the photo: Douchebag Shopper is on the phone. He was chatting on it way before interacting with the grocery slave. And it did not sound like anything important.

2. My shit is on the conveyor belt closer to the edge of the pic (yes almond milk, Diet Rockstar, and Smart Water. What else do I need?) In front of my stuff was Douchebag Shopper's plastic hand cart. Not only had he dumped the cart on the conveyor belt without emptying it, but the lazy-asshole had gone and FILLLED IT to the brim with loose fruits and vegetables!!! WTF??? Douchebag Shopper was too lazy to use plastic bags so he just tossed everything into the basket and probably gave it a good shake. You can see how thrilled the cashier is at having to sort it all out.

3. What you don't see in the photo is that Douchebag Shopper is the father of two hellspawn (small girl, older brother) that were running around grabbing merchandise, screaming, and pretty much doing what hellspawn do best - while he was on the phone ignoring everything.

Yes, Douchebag Shopper needed to be bitch slapped, but I just didn't have it in me at that moment, my Retail Balls were sleeping. I did, however, take great joy in taking his pic for exposing his ass on RHU and the grocery slave and I had a good chuckle about lazy, rude customers.

--Freddy

 

Retail Hell And Bowling For Boobies

Hey Everybody, it's Freddy!

Tomorrow night (Sunday the 24th) I am volunteering for my friend's awesome breast cancer fundraiser "Bowling For Boobies." Proceeds go to the Busted Foundation which helps women who are battling breast cancer pay their staggering medical bills.

While finding a cure is the ultimate answer, I love this charity because it offers help NOW to those battling the disease.

At the Bowling For Boobies raffle I have put together a "Retail Hell Survival Kit" to give away, as well as autographed copies of the hardcover, paperback, and my new one STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP (which is not in stores yet! More on that later!)

So if you are in LA, come on up to Universal City Walk's Jillian's and hang out! It's open to the public - 20 bucks to get in (proceeds going to the foundation) and it's a lot of fun. Jane Wiedlin of the GoGo's and Thomas Lennon (Reno 911's Lt. Dangle) will also be there bowling!

If you can't attend but would like to help women with breast cancer pay their medical bills, you can donate to the Busted Foundation and read about the event here:

http://www.firstgiving.com/bowlingforboobies

No donation is too small!!! This charity is relatively new but growing ever year! Last year they were able to help ease the financial burden of many women fighting for their lives (you can read about it HERE).

Thanks RHUers, you all are the best!

xo

--Freddy

 

 

99 Cent Store Craziness

Hey RHUers, Freddy here....Jason and I went to a 99 Cents store to shoot some photos for my new book that is coming out in the fall. It's not retail related, but a spoof on stuff that gay people don't like, "Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep."

The book has kept me super busy the last few weeks and I have not been able to get as many submissions posted on RHU, but starting next week, I'll begin catching up and posting as many of your awesome retailicious stories and rants as I can.

Thank you all for making RHU so inspiring, interesting, and fun. Even though I'm not in retail anymore and just photographing and writing about it, the stories you all send in make my day!

And let's be nice to each other out there in comment land. Not all stories are super funny or shocking, but the person who sits down from their chaotic retail hell schedule and writes from the heart about their experiences doesn't deserve to be attacked and criticized. They get enough of that from their stores and custys. RHU is for venting, ranting, and laughing about the hell we have all come to call retail. We should be here to support and encourage each other! And many of you do this and it's what has made RHU so awesome.

So, anyways, Jason and I were at this ghetto 99 Cent store, full of gang members and scary peopley shit and sitting next to the pile of retail hell clothes (above photo) was the store's safe? WTF??????

It looked real and was not for sale. Anyone out there who works for 99 and can tell us why a store would have an old safe in the middle of it next to the DVD's and fake flowers? Funny thing was if you look on top of the safe, you'll see where it has become a Custy Reject dumping ground!

Across from the safe is a Blockerbuster Vending machine. WTF?!!

Maybe the sign should read, 99 thanks you for messing the place up!

And here we have a scary special:

Chocolate covered stale peeps..eeeww.

 

The 99cent carts look like they are trying to escape their retail prison.

  

Looks like a custy decided not to shop and returned their basked with all their shit still in it! Nice of them to think how convenient that is for other custys wanting a basket. You can tell a lot about a custy by what's in their basket. This one has a dog, who is probably very sad it did not get a 99 cent bone and a chew toy next to that squeegee!

Shopping Cart Hits A Tree

Lucky for the cart, as I came upon the scene I saw that counsel how gotten there first:

Seriously, funny random shit.

--Freddy

    

There's No Place Like Retail Hell

A Sunday afternoon at the Bullseye. One of those WTF pics.

Random distribution box shoved under a display rack sitting on the main aisle.

It appeared to be loaded with misplaced items from the baby department; items I'm guessing were Piggy Shopper rejects.

And perhaps, some overextended, fed up slave shoved it under there because they didn't have the time to put all the shit away.

I have to confess to doing something similar during my Big Fancy days. Some moments in hell you just get sick of cleaning up after them and decide to let the pigs shop from a trough.

--Freddy

Markdown or Hot Seller?

Yes, it's fake-fur accented jockstraps. WTF?!?!

At Gay Pride in Long Beach, CA.

You're shocked, right?

Furry underwear at a gay festival? How could this be?

RAWWWWRR!!!

$20 too much? How much would you pay?

 

And for the ladies...

I asked the guy how sales were and he said they were selling really well. Somehow I didn't doubt it. Markdown or hot seller?

--Freddy

  

Sprint Employees Fired For Catching Apple Shoplifter

Hey Slaves.

If you haven't already seen the news.....yes it's true. The Retail Hell Universe is spinning out of control. Random Acts of Retail Kindness are not rewarded, but pissed on.

It's just more corporate Hardcore Retail Hell Bullshit to make us all go WTF?!?!?

This time the bastards in question are Sprint.

At Denver's Cherry Creek Mall, Two Sprint store employees - Mike McGee and Paul Shoemaker were heading out for a break as they encountered an older security guard from the Apple store nearby. He was out of breath and distraught and asked for help as a thief had taken off with Apple merch.

The two Sprint slaves chased the Nasty Ass Thief into a parking garage and tackled him, recovering over $500 worth of Apple shit. Police showed up, arrest was made.

When word got around of what they did, the Asshat Sprint Management fired the two citing their company policy states "employees shouldn't confront thieves" and added that their actions were considered employee misconduct.

The Sprint Slaves argued that they were on their breaks and not representing Sprint and Sprint merchandise was not involved.

They make a good point. 

THEY WERE ON THEIR FUCKING BREAKS!!!!

I guess the question is:

Is your break YOUR time or SPRINT'S time?

And why so hardcore Sprint?

Firing the dudes? Kinda severe isn't it?

It's not like they backstabbed you, or stole from you, or slept with your wives.

Wouldn't a warning have been sufficient?

Oh but wait, some bitch somewhere in the hellish bowels of Sprint's HR Department has a giant phone stuck up their ass! They haven't had a fuck in a decade and they are going to make negative examples out of Mike and Paul for all the world to see in a public arena. 

Go suck it Sprint.

Enjoy your new found publicity as being a company run by douchebags.

And best of luck to Mike and Paul - you guys deserve Retail Balls Awards for not ignoring another person in need and helping because you could. I hope you score awesome new jobs.

It's pretty obvious to all of us slaves WHY we are not supposed to run after shoplifters WHILE WORKING and the truth of the matter is, it's better if we don't - Is The Store's merchandise really worth getting your face bashed in or worse, getting shot and killed? Fuck no.

Problem is many of the retail companies telling us not to run after thieves and firing us if we do, are also bitching at us and blaming us, when sales are down...and sales are down because all the hot merchandise has been stolen by fucking thieves! Maybe if they hired more than one LP person, we wouldn't be put in the position of having to make a choice on whether or not to chase after a fucking shoplifter with cart full of Wiis.

Sometimes the pressure of our jobs drives us to chase people. We get blamed either way. In the designer clothing world where I did my hell, when expensive merchandise went missing people were fired and paychecks suffered. We live by our commissions and as a department manager you are graded on volume and increases. You are threatened with termination if you don't get your numbers up, who cares if inventory is all fucked up.

So when you get a thief going into your stockroom and filling up a giant garbage bag with $400 Coach handbags (about 32 of them), he is basically stealing your wallet and there goes your rent money...

...you're so pissed you chase the fucker down the street...

Like Carolanne and I did...

Yep, this is a true story! From when we worked together at The Big Fancy.

We didn't tackle the little nasty ass thief - our LP Stud took him out, (bag and all) but we were not about to lose all those hot Coach handbags and so we ran after the bitch. If that N.A.T had gotten away with them, thousands of dollars would have been lost affecting not only The Big Fancy's volume (and my job), but our paychecks! 

We didn't get fired, but we had to go with the cops to a hospital because the thief - a short, chubby, gay Hispanic man - claimed he had AIDS and was dying - (no shit! I swear this is true!) - and we had to identify him as the dude that took off running with a garbage bag full of our fucking Coach bags.

He didn't exactly look like he was dying.

So Carolanne and I waived at him and smiled. Don't try and steal shit from us motherfucker, we will fuck your ass up!

Interestingly, when I first worked at The Big Fancy, we were encouraged to chase after shoplifters.

And if Security needed assistance, there would be an announcement over the P.A.:

"Display to Mall Doors..."

That meant all able-bodied men who were working near the mall doors were supposed to drop everything and immediately run to the doors and help Security.

The idea was that there is power in numbers and dudes in suits running at you is scary.

Intimidate the Nasty Ass Thieves into giving up.

I had to participate in Display Codes many times and I always hated them. It really wasn't my dream to get my teeth knocked out by some druggie douche trying to steal a pair of designer jeans.

Whenever I heard the announcement, "Display to Second Floor Mall Doors," (which is two feet from my department), I would pretend to be busy with customers or run and hide in the back stockroom.

If the Display Code was somewhere else, I would walk slow and when I got to the melee, I'd stand in the back and watch the suits surround the N.A.T. like a scene out of The Sopranos.

The Big Fancy stopped this insane practice in the mid 90's. I have no idea why, but I don't think it's too hard to figure out - somewhere a N.A.T probably got very rich off the words "Display Code." 

On one "Display" occasion, a crazy violent woman who was screaming and hitting, attempted to bite me and two of the LP agents. They were trying to restrain her and get her into the elevator.

Why the elevator, you ask?

Because their retail jail office was on the first floor. 

When they finally did get psycho bitch on it, the elevator went up instead of down.

Oh yeah. Good times in Retail Hell.

--Freddy

To read a great interview with Mike and Paul and hear the details of their account, check out this link that Pharmacy_psycho sent:

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2010/04/sprint_employees_fired_for_cap.php

Ideas For April Fools in Retail Hell

Here's an RHU post from a few years ago. Meant to repost earlier so you all could take advantage of today's free ticket to get away with shit in the store, but forgot, sorry! So enjoy the possibilities - and if you are feeling bold, you could still do them in the future, just replace April Fools! with Just Kidding!

--Freddy

Kimberley in Illinois writes:

"I need some good April Fools ideas for my Retail Hell day."

What a fan-fucking-tastic idea Kimberley! What other day could we get away with being sarcastic and mean back to Customers and Co-Workers and then deviously spout:

APRIL FOOLS!!!

Here are a quick few suggestions for you:

1. When a customer asks questions about a product tell them something really stupid and unbelievable about it. "Oh yes, there's actually a gold processor in this computer," or "The fabric is all natural, completely pineapple based!" or "There's been a shortage of these and people are selling them on Ebay for thousands of dollars!" APRIL FOOLS!

2. Tell them the new plastic and paper bag law went into effect and you now have to charge $5 dollars for every plastic bag or shopping bag they use. You can add to this bit by saying most customers were refusing to pay the 3 bucks so they carried their shit out! APRIL FOOLS!! (would be fun here not to say April Fools and watch customers carry out their own crap!)

3. When they ask stupid Retail Hell questions be SARCASTIC AS HELL! Use some of our Do You Work Here? Comeback lines.

CUSTOMER: "Do you work here?"

YOU: "I did thirty seconds ago, but now I've decided to jump off the Hollywood sign - APRIL FOOLS!"

CUSTOMER: "How much are these jeans?"

YOU: "Two thousand dollars - big pause here to see them gasp - APRIL FOOLS!"

CUSTOMER: "Do you know where the bathrooms are?"

YOU: "We don't have bathrooms, but there's a creepy gas station across the street. - APRIL FOOLS!"

CLICK HERE FOR MORE Do You Work Here? COMEBACK LINES

4. Add zeros on to the total of the their purchase and don't give it up right away: "I'm sorry ma'am but it's $2,000, the computer doesn't lie. Maybe it's those Juicy Couture socks?" APRIL FOOLS!!

5. Just be a total Retail Bitch and rag on them for whatever and then say: "I'M JUST KIDDING! APRIL FOOLS!" (even though in your head you might really mean it!)

6. Page your Department Manager and scare them: "A Crazy Customer wants you and she is pissed off, screaming and yelling!" "The Store Manager wants you and she is pissed off, screaming and yelling! "Corporate just called and they are pissed off, screaming and yelling! APRIL FOOLS!

7. Tell the customer their credit card has been denied because it's in collections or their money is counterfeit! Hold the money and card up to the light and pretend to analyze them. APRIL FOOLS!

8. Tell your Co-worker the Store Manager called and there is a mandatory 5 am training meeting the next day and they have to show or be fired. Depending on whether or not you like the Co-Worker, you can opt to wait to say April Fools until the next day when they run into all pissed off because there was actually no meeting. APRIL FOOLS!

9. Pull apart the seems on the bottom of a shopping bag. When your customer picks it up, everything will fall out! APRIL FOOLS!

10. Wear your name tag on your backside. When people stop and ask you why it's there you say: "I just wanted you to check out my ass!" or "My back has a name too!" APRIL FOOLS!

--Freddy

 

Walmart Cares About Their Violent Customers

WTF!!!!!

So there is a reply from the email Riferous sent to Walmart complaining about the firing of Ed Bauman who was fired for protecting himself against a customer who attacked him.

To read the original post, CLICK HERE.

Here's the response Walmart sent - which is probably a corporate form letter they probably sent to thousands of bitching people:

Thank you for your message.

Dear Riferous,
 
Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding an incident at our Palm Bay, Florida store.  While we appreciate his intentions, Mr. Bauman's actions put his safety - and perhaps the safety of our customers - in jeopardy and, in the process, violated company policy as it pertains to how we treat people in our stores. As an unfortunate result of these circumstances, Mr. Bauman is no longer employed by our company.
 
Sincerely,

Walmart Customer Care

Whether or not Ed should have fought back, I feel it's completely disgusting how they "appreciate his intentions", but are not willing to give this model, hard-working, elderly employee a second chance. Unusual circumstances were involved, it's not like he intentionally provokes fights with customers. Walmart's hard-edged, heartless, and machine like actions often show little compassion for their hardworking employees who are simply trying to survive and do the job they were hired to do.

Makes me wonder what the executives are really like and do they even care about human beings?

Maybe they aren't human.

Walmart Fires Elderly Greeter Who Was Punched By Out of Countrol Customer

OMG. WTF!!!!!!!!!

Michael just sent me the latest on the Walmart Greeter in Florida who was basically attacked by a violent younger custy.

Walmart fired 69 year old Greeter Ed Bauman, accusing him of "gross misconduct" and fighting with a customer.

This is so disgusting on so many levels I don't even know where to start. I can only hope that there is such an raging outcry over what Walmart has done, they have to wind up their PR Monster Machine and go into damage control, making amends to Ed.

There are a few ignorant idiots out there without all the facts claiming Ed provoked the attack, but if you watch the video report that Michael sent from Wesh 2 News in Orlando, you'll see the pissed off, raging custy run into the store and grab Ed's clip board (which to me was an admission of guilt - why would you violently fight to get a clipboard if you had done nothing wrong?). Ed tried to get the clipboard back and the douchebag sucker-punched him, forcing Ed to protect himself and hit back.

As Ed quotes in the story, "I guess they just wanted me to stand there and get beaten."

There weren't really any good Youtube videos to post here (and some had inaccurate information), so click the Wesh 2 News link below and see an interview with Ed.

Wesh 2 News Interview with Fired Walmart Greeter Ed Bauman

Here on RHU, we salute you Ed Bauman!

Though it was dangerous, you were doing your job (as told by management) and you tried to protect yourself from a violent customer. That took some big-ass Retail Balls! We wish you the best and hope that your story will bring you good things!

And Walmart will be forced - ONCE AGAIN - to back peddle and reevaluate how they treat their employees. No one should have to work under those conditions and then be fired for protecting themselves.

Really, Walmart.

C'mon now.

Are you that lame and heartless?

Will you ever learn?

Probably not.

 

Piggy Shopper Slop

I spotted this retail grossness at Bristol Farms. At first I thought they were dead bugs mixed in with the expensive butter knife display. Nope. Some damn Piggy Shoppers had dropped a bunch of dates on them. And let me just say, this display was nowhere near any dates.

Ohio Woman Attacks McDonalds Drive Thru

Miri and Katie just emailed me about this scary McDonald's incident:

Apparently a Mickey D custy got pissed when they ran out of chicken nuggets. She freaked out and went all psycho, punching the window of the drive-thru!

The police were called, they arrested the nugget-hungry-nuisance and charged her with vandalism. She's pleaded not guilty and been ordered to stay away from the restaurant. None of the McDonald's Slaves are talking about the incident, but you know it must have gotten ugly if she bashed a window and they had to call police.

WTF???????

Yet another fast food tantrum. What the hell is wrong with these people? Can't we just send them all to a deep-fried island somewhere? Thank god there was a window. And it's a good thing for her she wasn't at Burger Bitch's drive thru cuz the crazy violent skank would have needed an ambulance to hall her ass off to jail.

Here's a link to the news report:

Mickey D Nugget Nut

Freeman and Retail Hell on CBS Early Show

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Hey Retail Slaves!

Well, here's the CBS Early Show interview! It was a lot of fun. Maggie Rodriguez could not have been nicer and I used to watch her on my favorite news station ABC7 in LA and we are both pretty sure I waited on her at Nordstrom (she used to shop at my store).

I'm still in NYC because my flight got canceled. It's colder that shit and my ears feel like they are going to fall off, but it sure is beautiful here - the xmas decorations are out of this world and Bergdorf's has Mannequins doing Alice in Wonderland - so freaking cool.

Want to thank all of you for answering the "rude customer" question! Wow! I was blown away by your responses. We were going to use some of them on the show, but time didn't permit and they wanted to focus on the craziness of today being the busiest shopping day of the year. So I think next month we have to have a Rudy Custy story a day and post each one!

I was happy on the show that they kept the Random Act of Retail Kindness decree! We need to start training these custys to behave! (yeah right, insert eyerolls and head shakes here) I am trying to do posts here from NY at the hotel, but can't get access to the RHU email - so you might be seeing your Christmas rants for the next week! Hope you all had an easy December 23rd and it wasn't too horrible.

One Home Improvement Store's Grinchy Move

This just in from a Home Improvement Store Slave:

So I work part time for one of the Big Box Home Improvement stores. 

Its just my fun money job so I have as much fun with it as you can have with retail. 

Since it is my fun money job, family and real job come first and they know that.

Christmas eve schedule comes out.  

I didn't ask for it off because we close at 6 and my availability says I can't come in until 5.  

So that means that they could only schedule me for one hour and they wouldn't do that....

Well the schedule is posted.  

I look at it and just about punch the wall.

They scheduled me from 5-7 on Christmas Eve. 

Ok, we are a HOME IMPROVEMENT STORE!!! 

We are not a Christmas destination.  

Hell, they are already cutting hours for the slow down. 

And on Christmas eve, the mall closes at 4 so I know we will be dead.

Plus there are two others closing in my department. 

So WTF?????????????????????

WTF indeed! This is Total fucking bullshit. RHU Santa needs to show up and give this Manager 24 lashes with the reindeer whip!

Update from Home Improvement Store Slave:

"Just talked to them tonight...mgr said don't even bother coming in...then why did you schedule me?"