This was on my third day of work. I’m in Indiana, so the two seasons are winter and road construction. It’s finally gotten warm, so construction is back in full swing.
The workers, for their own convenience, tend to rent hotel rooms near the stretch of highway they’re working on. There’s about a mile of work between the exit for my hotel and the next exit, and the hotels at my exit are a lot less seedy.
Construction workers are pretty cool, they usually just come in, drink, sleep, shower, and go back to work. My partner and I ended up cleaning one of the workers’ rooms, and it grossed me out a little but wasn’t unmanageable.
Because I’m not trained on bathrooms yet, I took care of all of the main room. On one nightstand was a tray with two complete, mostly uneaten breakfasts from the breakfast bar in the lobby. On the other was a half empty tall can of Budweiser and a cup of what looked like settled raw egg. That was the point where I stopped asking questions.
I’m taking the food to the garbage when my partner goes “That’s fucking disgusting” from the bathroom. Now, we had already dealt with The Dog People at this point, so I was worried. They hadn’t even warranted an f-bomb, and they left a huge mess.
So I poked my head in the door. There was almost a solid inch of shampoo/soap/mud sludge at the bottom of the tub. My partner explained that the sticky mud generated by the road work tends to do this, but this was the most she had ever seen. By the time she was done, you couldn’t even tell anything had been in the tub.
The last thing I did was take out the trash from the room, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t pick up one of the clear bags and see a giant pair of leopard print panties shoved down to the bottom. That was the point where I swore I would never speculate again.
Booze is kind of a rampant thing at hotels. Lots of people rent rooms so they can come get drunk. Sometimes they leave what’s left in lieu of a tip, and one of the male housekeepers scored an entire fifth of cherry vodka after cleaning up empties for a couple days.
Obviously it’s not a new thing to come into a room and see a bunch of empty cans or bottles around. I’ve gotten to the point where I can tell if we’ll find any based on how the room smells when I walk in. Well, we were in charge of a room that was labeled a “stay” on our list, but when we opened the door it looked almost untouched.
The bed had been slept in, but the covers had only been pulled back enough for someone to slip in and out of the bed. There were about 12 empty beer cans around the room and the empty box of a case of Miller High Life, but no suitcase or used glasses or any personal possessions whatsoever.
We called our supervisor down to ask whether the guy had checked out and she was like “Did you check the closet?”
We had. So she had us start cleaning while she looked for signs of life. She opened the top drawer of the dresser, announced that it was half-full of underwear, and that I should check the mini fridge. I opened the door and found 23 untouched cans of Miller High Life and a full, unopened bottle of Dewar’s.
Underwear and booze. Party hard.
Turns out men and women are completely equal on their ability to trash a room. This was the same day as Party Guy.
My partner and I were cleaning a newly vacant room so it could be rented out again. I was making the bed, but when I flipped the duvet over there were spots of blood all over a big section of it. It wasn’t just light spots; it was like someone with open wounds had turned themself into a human burrito for the night. I wondered if maybe the woman who had rented the room had miscalculated her period, but it wasn’t the right kind of pattern.
I called my partner over and expressed my concern that blood would be going back onto a clean bed. She was just as put off as I was at the idea and I got to throw a duvet down two floors of laundry chute. Besides the bloody duvet, there were coffee cups covered in lipstick sitting all over the room, coffee stains on a bunch of things, a makeup ring around the inside of the bathroom sink, makeup smeared on the bathroom counter, and a ton of long hair all over everything.
This definitely made me realize my job is not very glamorous.
When you travel, it’s courtesy to leave a tip for the people who clean your room, especially if you trash and dash. The recommended rate is $1/night/person. I’ve seen a $0.05 tip, an $0.83 tip, and one kind soul who actually left us a dollar in quarters for his one night stay, which is really nice because those transfer into the vending machine easier.
I have not seen any other tips in any other rooms. Zero tips.
Supposedly Bacon Lingerie Lady tips really highly because leaving her stuff out for us to deal with is speculated to be her “thing”, but I haven’t seen it yet. And if you leave us something you wouldn’t deal with yourself, at least leave a note warning us.