Retail Hell Underground

Happy Valentines Day RHU: NC Tony's Customer Contract

So I've decided not to save the Slaves Wish List just for the holidays. I got struck with inspiration, and I'm not waiting 10 months to post it.

How many of you had to sign some kind of "contract" when taking your jobs? *counts hands* Some sort of code of conduct about how you would conduct yourself during the hours you're on the clock. How many of you wish customers also had to sign a similar code of conduct about how they would conduct themselves while they are in your store shopping (or eating if you work in a restaurant)? *counts hands* Ok, Burger Bitch, you don't need to raise both hands, I'm only counting you once. Well then allow me to present what every customer would have to read and sign before being allowed in your store...

THE CUSTOMER CODE OF CONDUCT:

I, the customer agree to abide by the following rules while shopping in your establishment.

1) If, the store employs a greeter who's sole job it is to welcome me to MegaMart, I will acknowledge their greeting, even if I just smile and nod at them. I will not ignore them as if they weren't even there.

2) If I require assistance on the sales floor, I will find a store associate and ask them "Excuse me, can you please tell me where [item] is?" or "Could you please tell me where [item] is?" or some variation thereof. I will not just walk up to an associate and bark out a one word exclamation of what I need. Nor will I whistle, snap my fingers or grumble "Doesn't anybody WORK around here?" to get their attention. I will not demand their help either.

2a) Likewise if an employee comes up to me and asks me if I need help, I will either use one of the above polite requests for help, or simply say "No thank you".

2b) I will accept that I do not know more than the employees. After all they work here, and know the way the store works better than I do.

2c) I will not insult their level of intelligence for working here. I understand that this may have been the only job they were able to get at the time, and that just like me they have bills to pay.

3) If the store is out of an item, I will not accuse employees of hiding more of said item in the back. I will accept that the store is out of said item, and either look for it elsewhere, or politely ask if an employee knows when the store is getting any more in, and return at a later time to get the item.

4) I will control my children and keep an eye on them. I will not allow them to handle valuable and/or fragile merchandise. I will not let them run around screaming like banshees, bothering other customers. I will not expect the employees to watch my children.

4a) I will not give my child a toy to play with from the toy section just to keep them quiet while I am shopping and then not buy it for them.

5) I will not open boxes of merchandise to see the contents and then take an unopened box.

6) If I do not want an item, I will not leave it on a random shelf, I will put it back where I found it.

6a) Likewise I will not just drop clothing items on the floor if it's not what I want.

7) I will not leave my trash on a random shelf. I will wait until I can find a garbage can.

8) I will not mistake the fitting room for a bathroom.

8a) If I do not want the clothes I have just tried them on I will leave them with the fitting room attendant, I will not dump the clothes on the floor.

9) In the bathroom I will use the toilets for their intended use and not spread my waste all over the walls and floor. If the toilet should overflow, I will find and employee and let them know so the mess can be cleaned up.

10) When making a return I will make sure I have the receipt, or some other proof of purchase. I will also make

sure I am within the allotted return time (ie: 7 days, 10 days, 90 days, etc). I will not throw a fit and threaten to "take my business elsewhere" or state that I "spend a lot of money here" and should therefore get my way.

10a) I will make sure I am returning something that the store sells. Not something that your competitor sells.

11) When checking out I will end my cell phone call long enough to complete the transaction.

11a) If I am paying in cash I will have my wallet in hand and will place the money in the cashiers hand.

11b) I will carry a wallet or purse and will not hand the cashier money out of my bra/underwear.

11c) I will not use a $100 bill to pay for a $5 order (especially not first thing in the morning).

11d) If I am using a credit/debit card, I will make sure I know my PIN, and how to use the card scanner.

11e) If I am using EBT/WIC, I will make sure I am buying only EBT/WIC approved items.
 
11f) If I am using coupons (either regular coupons or special store coupons) I will let the cashier know BEFORE they start ringing up the sale. I will not demand discounts I am not entitled to.

11g) If an item rings up for the wrong price I will politely point it out and not accuse the cashier (or the store) of trying to rip me off.

12) I will not act like I am entitled to special treatment. I will not threaten, abuse, admonish, augur, blackmail, bluster, browbeat, bully, caution, comminate, cow, enforce, flex muscles at, forebode, forewarn, fulminate, growl, intimidate, look daggers at, make threats to, menace, portend, presage, pressurize, push around, scare, scowl, shake fist at, snarl, spook, terrorize, torment, or walk heavy to get my way.

12a) I understand that sometimes mistakes happen and will not hold it against the employee.

13) I understand that the employees do not set the prices for items.

13a) I understand that the employees are only doing what they are being told to by their managers, who are being told to do by corporate.

14) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I TRY TO STEAL ANYTHING FROM THE STORE. I understand that doing so will result in legal actions being taken against me.

I have read and understood the above rules and further understand that breaking any of the above rules will result in a $10 annoyance fee added to my total for each rule broken.

Signed,
[Customer]


So, as usual, I ask you my fellow RHUers, what did I leave out?

--NC Tony

Coming soon: customer contracts for restaurants, your managers, other (asshole) employees and whatever other jobs you can think of that need contracts like this.

Coffee Angel: Man Delivers Free Coffee To Chemo Patients Weekly

 

 

The Magic of Dr. Martin Luther King

As far as I know he never worked in retail like many of us, but Dr. King was all about the service of love and his ministry was his store! He fought for equal rights for all, passionately believed in using the power of love and non-violence, and was the youngest person ever to win a Nobel Peace Prize. That's just a tidbit.

Today we remember this great man. You can do so by keeping his message of love and freedom alive in your heart in your own way.

We all have a dream and we all yearn to yell out, "Free at last!"

Celebrate a dream you have for yourself today! Be kind to those around you --yes even your Asshole Coworker and the Crazy Bitch Custy who shows up every Monday! -- and take some action, big or small, moving yourself toward your dream. No action is too small and that includes Googling! Do whatever you can and no matter how fucked up things are at the moment, or how many million miles away you may feel from it. Let this great man's memory and inspirational words keep you going through life's shit storms so you don't stop until you reach your heart's desire. Thank you Dr. King!

--Freddy

 

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

 

 We must accept finite disappointment, but not lose infinite hope.

 

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

 

But I know somehow, only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.

 

Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear.

 

The time is always right to do what is right.

-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Complainin' Hell's Kitchen Custy Gets Told By Gordon Ramsay

 

Encore repost sent in from Cosmetics Hellhound. Ramsay has Retail Balls made of steel! You go Chef!

 

Volunteer Hell: The Trials and Rewards of Being A Holiday Storefront Bellringer

NumismaticNerd here, and in the comment section of the recent picture of the Stormtrooper guarding a kettle, it seems a lot of disparaging comments were made about the campaign, the bell ringers, and the organization as a whole, and it got me thinking.

This is dangerous to get me thinking...

So here's a bit of a story...

In my senior year of Highschool, we were told that 'teens don't volunteer enough, so we're going to make you volunteer as part of your senior project'. I was surprised, and wondered where they got that teens don't volunteer, since as a member of Rainbow Girls (daughter organization of the Masons) I volunteered at least twice monthly, and that was on a slow month.

Anywho, it was necessary to graduate so I signed up with the Salvation Army for their annual Christmas Kettle Campaign.

I found out that the majority (95% or more) are volunteers like I was, though mostly for other reasons.

I also found out that standing in the snow (or worse, freezing rain) while ringing a flat toneless bell was NOT fun at all. Maybe if they kept the Silver Bells of olde then we'd like to ring 'em more, and you'd like to hear 'em more, since they sound much better than the dented old brass ones they use now.

What was the absolute worst though, was when people walked past and instead of saying 'No thanks' or 'Already gave' or even lying to me in saying 'I'll give when I leave' (as I watch them leaving through the other door) some people would yell at us, curse at us and even spit at us. Give me a retail job and it was probably worse than that because of the weather. Hellmart was somewhat angelic to us since the Busway inside let us have free coffees/teas/hot cocoas.

Now there were some fun things, when I organized my Rainbow assembly to all ring together, with one of the Masonic advisors playing his trumpet. He would play Christmas Carols, and we would ring along with him. We filled three kettles in half a day (when the usual in that spot was one for the whole day). Yes I will admit we were louder when people walked past on the phone, since it almost forced them to give, and when anyone was wearing black and gold we played the Steeler's fight song.

There were funny things too, like the story relayed to us by another ringer how as a mother was talking on the phone, a little kid, around five, kept going into her wallet and giving more and more. He gave her whole paycheck to the kettle. Normally the kettle can't be opened, but obviously for her we made the exception.

So I open myself up to attacks like what were on the comments of the previous post, but the organization and it's ringers are awesome in my eyes, and will always be, since they helped out a friend when her house was damaged by a nearby fire.

--NumismaticNerd

 

Merry Christmas From GaGa With New Song

 

Since all of us and many RHUers are GaGa fans -- and she used to be one of us - A NYC waitress - I thought I'd post her newest song, which is a rauchy and bluesy hot dirty mess of a good time. She just recorded it and tweeted last night. Enjoy!

6 Things To Be Thankful For In Retail Hell

Hello RHU! 

It's the Crankie Cashier and I am back to work... just in time for Black Friday too yayyyy :/. Anyway work has been kind of fun recently and as much as I bitch to anyone who will hold still long enough (sorry Dad and roommates) I do have a lot to be thankful for. So I figured I would make a list.

1. Boss Lady, the supervisor of my department. She constantly goes out of her way to make life easier for us cashiers. She fixes computer problems, schedules (not at all part of her job) problems between people, and still manages to put up with all the personalities in the front end. She has our backs and we know it. She is one of the main reasons i have held off on getting another job, because well, managers are usually assholes.

2. The coworkers who do not have sticks up their asses and do their jobs. They make horribly boring stretches of work amusing with jokes and bouncy balls. They make amusing faces when old men touch your ass. Not to mention the hours of drunk jokes. Yes we all piss each other off, but for the most part we are in hell together so we might as well make the best of it.

3. The regulars. Yup they are weird, and sometimes smell odd. And stare at my boobs... a lot. But they are usually in a good mood and willing to wait patiently while i fix problems for them (like the old ladies in diner dash). Not to mention I can swear around them. Sometimes it just feels really good to drop a good swear word in the middle of a shift.

4. My managers, when I say no discount they back me up (usually). So in your face you cheap bastards.

5. Idiots, yeah they are annoying, but they make for good stories and are good for a laugh.

6. Polite people... there is a special place in heaven for these people.

Tis all for now, I am sure I will be back to my usual bitching soon. Good luck with the Christmas Crazies.

--The Crankie Cashier

Rant On Customer Manners: Having Compassion For The Person Serving You

Hey y’all, Nibbler here.

Hope you’re all surviving the pre-Christmas rushes! I found this picture on my tumblr feed and as a long serving retail slave (10 years and counting!) I thought I’d share my subsequent rant with you.

I’m going to step in here and defend people who work in retail.

You may not realize this, but the person selling you your yummy treats is forced to talk with you. There’s a good chance that they couldn’t care less if you were hungry. They get marked on how much and the way they speak to you. They face a disciplinary and a write up if they don’t say exactly the right thing. If the store has a rewards/credit card, they get marked on how many people they sign up. If they don’t sign up enough people, they face losing their source of income. They have to put up with rude asshole customers who scream and shout at them for the stupidest shit imaginable. The coupon is two months out of date? It’s your fucking fault, minimum wage-earning drone.

So, why do they put up with it? Look at the job market at the moment. What else is available? I’m sure that the person scanning your vegetables doesn’t want to be there for the rest of their lives, but unfortunately, not everyone will find a job in their chosen field. Not everyone will make it as an actor, photographer, writer, artist.

But everyone needs to eat, sleep, and provide for their families. So we take these crappy jobs and we work. These jobs are hard. You’ll be on your feet for long, unsociable hours, you’ll be lifting heavy items, you’ll be wearing an unflattering uniform, you’ll go to bed at night dreaming about item code 084035 not scanning. But you’ll do it, because the need to survive outweighs any pride you might have about a retail job not being good enough for you.

All I’m saying, would it hurt to have a tiny bit of compassion for the person serving you your Big Mac? They do not deserve abuse, they do not deserve to be talked down to, they do not deserve being threatened with being fired for petty things. They are people too.

--Nibbler

 

Awesome Manager Puts Life Before Store

Let me tell you guys how cool and understanding my boss is.

I’m gonna start off and explain that I have a menstrual bleeding disorder. I can lose WAY too much blood at once and on Tuesday, that happened. I got to my mom’s, like I always do before work, and I collapsed on the couch. The room was spinning. But, being the good little worker I am, I just asked for a ride to work because I knew I was too dizzy to drive.

Yes, RHU, I was still going to go to work while possibly bleeding to death. (Yes, I know I’m exaggerating, I wasn’t to the ‘death’ part yet)

Mom said to call in, and just stay home and recover, but I was terrified I’d get in trouble, because it was 2:30. I was supposed to be there and be clocking in right that moment. That’s BEYOND a late call-in, and an automatic write-up. I mean, I can AFFORD a write-up, but I hate getting them. So she snags my phone from me and calls in for me. Manager answered and I guess mom explained the situation, that I wasn’t coming in.

Then she wanted to speak to me.

I was crying, I said I was so sorry I wasn’t there right then, if they needed me, I’d still go in, and all I was told was ‘You listen to me Terah, and you listen good. STOP WORRYING about the store. You get your butt to the E.R RIGHT NOW, okay?’

I meekly said ‘Okay’ and hung up. I had to wait for mom to get dressed, and I fell asleep at some point, but we made it to the E.R. They got me in and out in 3 hours, and down here, that’s pretty damn fast.

I was on Birth Control to straighten out my periods, and turns out the Birth Control I was on was causing it. We switched it out and I went home with a couple holes in my arm and still a little dizzy but walking.

Yesterday, I had to call the Manager and let her know I was okay, because she was worried. When I went to roll over and get up OH MY FUCKING GOD THE PAIN IN MY LUMBAR REGION WAS SO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA! I couldn’t even stand STRAIGHT! I hobbled to get my phone, called, and was crying from it. Told her I just couldn’t come in because of the pain, but if they needed me, I’d load up on Excedrin and haul my ass up there.

Again she told me to stop worrying about the store and lay down and rest.

I DID tell her, though, if they needed me today to call me in, because it’s my normal day off, and I’d missed two anyway. As I’m writing this, it’s 1:10, and still no call. But I’m wondering if it’s because no one has called in sick (or, in Whore’s case, because she wants to go party and get high) or if it’s because my Manager wants to give me another day to rest.

We’ll see.

--Terah

 

The Retail Slave Blessing

Sitting on my bed today, shuffling through old games reminded me of an experience I had while buying two of them.

See, Spyro The Dragon got me hooked. It was the first game of its time where the dragon was the hero, rather than something to slay. So when I wandered into a Gamestop some years later, I spotted Spyro: Year of the Dragon and it was an auto-buy of happy squee. I get home, pop it into my game console and...waitaminute... who the hell is that Cheetah? When did he get into the picture? Crap I must have missed something.

So it comes as no surprise that I trundled back out into the store, not overly happy that I have to make a second trip but not particularly unhappy AT anyone. I found YotD by chance, so it wasn't like I'd have the foreknowledge that it was game 3, and it doesn't say it's game 3 on the cover, so if anyone's to blame, it's the people who didn't number the game cases.

However, I was apparently whacked on the head by the ESP fairy as I walked through the doors because I could all but read the retail slave's mind.

Retail Slave: Hi, can I help you?

Me, holding up Spyro: YotD: I hope so, see I was in here earlier and...

Retail Slave tenses up: *Oh crap she's gonna complain. Brace yourself. Be ready for it.*

Me: ...when I popped in this game...

Retail Slave: *Don't fall for it, don't relax. That pleasant face will transform the second you relax. Watch for the glowing red eyes, they'll appear at any second...*

Me: ...I realized I had the third game in the series, not the second....

Retail Slave: *Don't relax. Relaxing is the slow and agonizing death upon the pointed rage of a Customer From Hell*

Me: ...So by any chance do you happen to have the second game in store?

Retail Slave: *OH THANK GOD!*

The retail slave lets out the breath he's been holding and takes a look at the game box: "Well, let me see."

He checks in the computer: "Okay, it looks like the second game in the series is called Spyro: Ripto's Rage."

The two of us wander over to the PS1 shelves and rummage until we find the game case before he retrieves the game itself from behind the counter. I pay for it and happily take both games.

Retail Slave: Have a good day ma'am.

Me: You too. (And then I confer the Chashier Blessing upon him:) May all your customers be nice.

Retail Slave: If they are all as nice as you were today ma'am, I will be very happy.

I laughed and headed home to some good old gaming. The irony of this? I was a newbie to the retail industry at the time. I'd only endured the Christmas Temp jobs, when most custys are trying to be properly "tis the season for niceness" and had only a few minor disgruntled crusty experiences. I learned my "cashier blessing" from another retail slave who had come in to shop.

Nowadays I confer this blessing upon just about every retail slave I come across, because I have the experience to know they deserve all the blessings they can get.

May all YOUR customers be nice!

--Bookstore Slave

 

 

Tales of Awesome Coworkers

Ginger Wageslave back again not only with my official RHU ID picture, but a lighter side of storytelling.

I realize that most of my RHU entries are negative stories about awful coworkers, but the reality is that there are a lot of awesome coworkers at my Bullseye that have actually become good friends! It’s great to have people at work who’ll watch your back and joke around with you, it makes your shift go faster and keeps every wageslave’s hope in humanity from dying all together!

So, in honor of my rad coworkers and the beginning of this frustrating holiday season, here are some tales of my awesome coworkers.

Let’s start with Ange, so named because I call her that on a daily basis because she’s a godsend!

Ange is the dayshift fitting room, a mother-like Hispanic woman that I mesh with really well because (as she says) I’m no ‘majadero’ like some other softlines chicks. Anyway, my tale is one of pure WTF quality. As I often watch the fitting room at her request, I was at the desk when Ange started checking the rooms for hangers and such. But what is this? A tiny bit of frilly lace poking out from under the chair in a dressing room?

Ange tips over the chair only to find stained used underwear. Oh dear sweet lord no. The next thing I know, Ange races out of the room gagging and cursing at the same time (which is pretty hilarious to see a 40-something woman like Ange move that fast). Being confused, I asked her what was up and she told me of the horror (gross gross gross). After I manned up and threw away the nasty underwear (by picking it up via hanger) we had a long laugh about it. I mean, who even does that?

My second favorite coworker is Teal, a really funny 20-something single mom with a big teal streak in her hair. She’s possibly the best person to work with, because she really makes you laugh; plus, she’s been there so long that she straight-up won’t put up with customer’s shit. To set the scene, both of us are wave-zoning in softlines and we get a call for our department so she heads over to the phone. Now, I didn’t hear the conversation from the customer’s end, but Teal told me how it went down:

Teal: Hello, you’ve reached the girl’s department, how can I help you today?

Guest: I’m looking for the infant department.

Teal: Oh, well I’m in the infant department as well, so what can I do you for?

Guest: I was wondering if you guys have some pants I’m looking for?

Teal: (No shit? Looking for clothing in a clothing department?!) Alright, can you give me the brand name, color, and the size?

Guest: Yeah, I need 3 pairs of 4T circus blue jeans, two large grey panes sweaters--the ones that don’t zip, and the black and white dog beanie with mittens in a toddler size.

Teal: Okay, let me set down the phone for a sec and I’ll go see if we have that in stock.

Guest: Wait, if you have them can you put them on hold for me?

Teal: Uh… I can’t put that many things on hold, but I can see if we have them and you can come in and pick them out yourself.

Guest: UGH I don’t have time to walk around the store!

Teal: Well I’m not your personal shopper. Have a nice day *click*

(I fuckin’ love Teal)

I’ve talked about Mama Bear before, but this story is pretty much the best example of how awesome she can be. I’m covering Ange in the fitting room when I get a call from an angry mom questioning why Bullseye.com/MagicKingdom/TrucksCoupon isn’t working on the site. Because I have so much control over this. I tell her simply that the site is probably being overloaded with how many people are trying to get the coupon (the ad with instructions to get the coupon had just come out that day) and that all I could do was to tell her to keep trying. In return she basically starts foaming at the mouth and flicks her switch to total bitch mode.

Guest: I don’t have time to wait all morning, it’s not working so you should just take off the coupon when I come in anyway! yadda yadda.

Well, even I can tell that to promise that would be moronic (oh yes, let’s just let you get a discount without even giving us a coupon because that makes sense!) So, without checking with an LOD I flat out tell her that we can’t do that.

Guest: This is BULLSHIT! Why won’t you honor what your put in your ad! That’s false advertising! That’s ILLEGAL! FIX THE SITE!

I’m a bit shaken up at this point, I’ve been at Bullseye a year but I’ve never been yelled at before, so I’m starting to get teary and frustrated.

Me: You’re not listening to me, Miss. I never said that we weren’t honoring the offer, the site is just jammed right now. Since we’re only one store, we can’t do anything to fix a global site except let Bullseye.com know what’s going on. I can give you the number for Bullseye.com tech support, if you’d like?

Guest: DO YOU THINK I‘M STUPID?! (Yes) YOU CAN‘T TREAT A CUSTOMER THIS WAY! I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER, NOW!

Me: *totally freaked out now* Okay, let me just put you on hold and I can connect you to her.

Guest: NO I DON’T WANT TO BE ON HOLD! YOU PUT ME ON HOLD FOR 10 MINUTES EARLIER! DON’T YOU DO IT AGAIN!

Me: *so freaked out that I can’t bite my tongue* You’re lying, I’ve been manning the phones for 20 minutes now and the regular operator would have told me if you were on hold before she left.

Guest: I CAN’T BELIVE YOU’RE CALLING ME A LIAR! *more shouting* DON’T PUT ME ON HOLD!

Me: Okay.

I put the phone down on the desk without putting her on hold and shakily radio Mama Bear to the fitting room.

Mama Bear: Is it something I can switch to channel 3 for?

Me: No, it’s a guest that wants to talk to a manager but she won’t go on hold *voice starts to get strained as I try not to cry* she’s yelling at me.

Mama Bear: I’m on my way!

By the time she gets there I’m shaking and crying a little bit; I really need my job, and I seriously thought this crazy bitch crusty was going to get me fired.

Me: She’s mad because the online cars coupon isn’t working at Bullseye.com, but I told her we really can’t do anything about it and she’s super mad! *more hysterical babbling*

Mama Bear: I got this. *cheerfully into phone* hello, Miss, I’m Mama Bear the manager. What can I do for you today?

Phone: *unintelligible*

Mama Bear: *still cheerfully* Her name is Ginger wageslave.

At this point I’m convinced that I’m fired as soon as the call is over, and I pretty much burst into tears.

Phone: *more bitching*

Mama Bear: *cheerful* Yes. Uh-huh. Okay.

Phone: *yelling now*

Mama Bear: *scary serious, bitch-get-out-of-my-face voice* Ma’am, I’m not going to help you if you yell. Because we’re an individual store we cannot be responsible for Bullseye.com. The number for tech service is *says number too fast for woman to possibly write down* have a great day! *click*

Me: *tearfully* Am I fired? I’m sorry, when she started yelling I didn’t know what to do!

Mama Bear: No, you did great. If you get another crazy person about the site, then just send them right to me. Do you want to take a 15 minute break now?

So, there you have it, I do have a pretty bad-ass group of coworkers; and there are more I didn’t mention but this is long enough already… But always remember, wageslaves, (especially around the holidays) your fellow slaves can be your greatest allies in the war against insane crustys.

Hugs and kisses, Torches and pitchforks;

--Ginger Wageslave

 

Your Monday Uplift: You Can Do It

 

From Damien.

 

Awesome Retail Slave Goes Above and Beyond For LIttle Girl Custy

Here's a little story from the deep South to warm up y'all's icy RTU hearts! :-P

The setup: The Blur (kiddo) & I were at the Burger place w/ the creepy monarch commercials.

The latest Transformers movie was out, and that's all they had for toys. Now, the Blur is pretty flexible when it comes to kids' meal toys, however she said, "I hope I don't get THAT one, he's scary!" And pointed to the boss bad-ass... whatever his name is... C'mon, I'm old, whaddaya want? :-P

Needless to say THAT's exactly what she got. To her credit, she didn't grow horns and start spittin' fire... she simply said, "Oh, Momma, I got the scary one!"

Yeah, this thing looked pretty evil. o_O I started in on the lecture, "Well, it's just part of life, blah, blah, you can't always get exactly what you want..." Then her little chin started to wobble... she was actually scared of this thing!

I asked, "Do you want to see if they'll change it?" She nodded.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked. She shook her head. I reminded her to be nice, and crossed my fingers.

After making sure that there was no one else there, the Blur went up to the counter (me watching like a hawk, of course), and the conversation went something like this:

B: Excuse me, Sir...

Awesome Restaurant Guy: Yes?

B: This toy is scary, can I have a different one?

ARG: Sure, lemme check... um, lemme check DT... er, we really don't have anything else except the baby toys, I'm sorry...

On the verge of tears, Blur shuffled back to our table. ARG came out to apologize, and I realized he was the manager! I assured him that it really was okay, that we'll probably just give it to a neighbor boy or something.

ARG wasn't having it, though. He gave her one of those paper crowns (she loves 'em, oy...), and then he asked for my receipt and personally wrote out a coupon for a free meal!

I thanked him profusely, and Blur was all smiles 'cause she was gettin' a free meal! Woot! Good on ya, ARG!

Peace, love, and sane custys,

--BassLady

 

 

 

Subway Sandwich Shop Hell Ends For Fed Up Retail Slave

Knitty Kitty gets a Retail Balls Award for putting up with some unbelievable Retail Hell (click here) and seizing the moment to get out:

Let me first say, I AM A FREE KITTEN!

I terminated my employment with Hubsay after taking a position at a grocery chain whose name is used often in Loony Toons.

First, the reasons why I quit.

All shadiness aside, I really hated the job. More than once I had mental breakdowns enough to make me want to take the tip jar and leave. (And honestly, no one would've stopped me)

The DM came to visit last week when I was working a 12-5 shift. I came in to my boss flailing and panicking, knowing everything he taught me violates corporate policies. For the first time since I was hired, I was given an apron AND a clean hat.

Mind you I've only been making sandwiches just shy of 1 month, so my speed won't be on par with the boss, who has been doing it for 10 years.

The DM stands in the kitchen doorway and mumbles about my horrible thruput (read: speed x Quality) while my boss stands behind her and swears that I'm the manager. (He was wearing a red shirt that day, which in our hierarchy means he's only an assistant manager, where I wear black, making me "manager".) They then retreat to the kitchen, where she asked my boss multiple questions about whether or not the store is making the money that it is expected to. To which he proceeded to say "I don't know" in varying degrees of broken English until she gave up.

Due to the DM's visit I learned:

-The rags that have turned almost mud brown with dirt from reuse are DISPOSABLE. But he's never let us throw them away.

-Our store makes less than $7,000 per week, and there is no competition nearby except Dunked Hoe Nuts.

-We are supposed to serve soup daily. (I've never seen it here)

-Breakfast sandwiches are different than normal sandwiches.

-My boss is more of a dumbass than I could ever think.

Yesterday was the last straw, however.

I was asked to open the store with no prior training in such. So being logical, I went in, and locked the door behind me. In the 10 minutes it took me to close the previous night's till, begin the new one, and preheat the oven for the morning's bread, I am getting a phone call from my boss. He was apparently watching me on the security camera, and saw that I had not turned on the "open" sign (it's 8:30 in the morning, who is gonna eat subs?!).

So I am berated first thing in the morning with "You are to stop what you are doing and go into the back and turn all the lights on. You are to unlock the door. We are to be open" and keeps going on about how I'm not doing things the way he would. (Nice of him to direct me properly to begin with. >_>)

Then, later in the day I am in the back doing dishes since it had been slow. (1-2 customers an hour), and he is in the front making sandwiches for the few stragglers from the medical pavilions nearby.

At one point I hear no noise from him, so I peek out into the dining area. There is a line out the door, and a woman waving an obviously charred roll at the head of the queue. So I start with her.

Immediately she says to me "ARE YOU THE MANAGER?" and he cowers and tells her that yes, I am.

So this woman throws the roll onto the counter and starts flailing and screaming how appalled she is that she paid $8 for a sandwich and that it has almost no meat on it, and how the one in the picture clearly is chock full of meat.

I turn the attention over to my boss, who made the sandwich.

His answer?

"I'm sorry ma'am, but HubSay has policies that govern how much we are to put on the sandwich..." and goes on a spiel blaming his mythical boss (who I now know doesn't exist). He ends up giving her a refund, which is somehow my fault, and he almost takes it out of my tips.

I'd written my 2 weeks notice, and dated it for today, ready to hand it to him when I went into work. But after his conduct lately, I'm done.

So yesterday after getting the call confirming my employment at Crack-Squee, I gathered my key, apron, etc, and brought it to him with plenty of time for him to cover my shift today.
With the loss of myself and Amelia (name changed), his other "do everything" employee, he will be hard-pressed to run the store now.

But honestly, that's not my problem. What this job boiled down to was "I don't get paid enough to let you drag me through the mud by my cuticles."

--Knitty Kitty

 

Pizza Hut Manager A Hero: Christopher Lucas Gave His Life To Save Others During Joplin Tornado

From Graphics Girl: I saw this recently, and thought that with the anniversary of the terrorist attacks being around this time, that the story is still relevant. It may be from a different disaster, but to me it shows that even though retail workers may be looked down upon by some, they are still capable of acts of heroism.

From NBC Action News:

JOPLIN, Missouri - At the Pizza Hut on Rangline road in Joplin, Daniel Fluhart is one of the few survivors to emerge from the debris.

“The only reason we survived is because he held the door shut, with a strap,” explained Fluhart.

Fluhart said his manager, Christopher Lucas, saved lives as Sunday’s tornado rolled through Joplin. Four employees and fifteen customers watched from inside the restaurant as the storm bore down on them.

“You knew the storm was serious. You could not even see a funnel, it was a mile wide,” exclaimed Fluhart. “All you saw was a wall.”

Fluhart says his manager tried to get everyone into a walk in freezer, but according to Fluhart, people were being “ripped” out of the freezer into the tornado.

That’s when Fluhart said Lucas took heroic action. The restaurant manager wrapped a bungee cable holding the freezer door shut around his arm, trying to keep it shut. Fluhart tried to aid his boss.

“As soon as I saw the door slipped, I grabbed him,” said Fluhart. “I grabbed him, and I holding on with one hand to the cable, but he was holding it mostly.”

“And then, when everything blew away, he was gone, the door was gone, everything…”

Everything except the lives a father of two fought to save.

via www.nbcactionnews.com

 

 

A Goodbye To Borders: Fond Memories of A First Job and Treasured Coworkers

From Bookace:

Tomorrow, on September the 13^th 2011, my Borders store will close for good.

Of course there were days I dreaded going to work and wanted to pull my hair out, punch every customer in the face and do nothing but go to sleep in a ball in the back room. Those were the days I told most people about. Today, just once, I want to write a tribute to the good memories.

Borders was my first retail job. I had many fond memories of the store long before I worked there. My mom and I would stop by every month after orthodontist visits and I would spend all my money on manga and books. The early teen years being turbulent at best for most of us, these trips to Borders were one thing that I could always look forward to. This carried on for years. I cried when a hurricane flooded the store several years back and I happened to drive by right afterward, when they were throwing the ruined books out. Luckily, they reopened and carried on.

I began working there over two years ago. A terrified, shy little newbie who was stricken with anxiety on the best of days. On my first day, upon hearing I was new and just learning the register, a woman smiled at me and told me not to worry, that I was doing a great job. I have no idea who she was. She probably doesn’t remember me, but I definitely remember her.

But my coworkers were the real treasure. They were what made the job worth it all that time.

There was LiteraryGuy who was by far my favorite, he was so sweet and funny and made me feel welcome right away. He was the kind of person who feels like a friend from the day you meet him. I always looked forward to working with him.

There was PoliticalChick who was rather chilly and guarded with me at first (whereas she was always joking and chatting with the other employees) up until one day when we were sorting inventory together and I commented in passing about my opinion as a lesbian on the topic we were discussing, and for some reason after that day she began talking to me like she talked to the others. I loved to make fun of romance titles and fangirl about Harry Potter with her.

There was ApathyStoner who could be amusing and infuriating to work with at the same time. He did barely any work and tended to be a jerk sometimes, but at the same time he loved animals and would have very excited conversations about the most esoteric of subjects. He was also the person who told IdiotBoss to hire me.

There was SurferBoy who I would hang out with behind the counter and we would squeal about kittens and Harry Potter and baby animal pictures in magazines together, there was PhotoGirl who liked to trade war stories of life in retail (she had some great tales) and then there was RomanceWhore who was always up for making dirty jokes and making fun of Twilight together. Sure I had a few horrible co-workers (PrissyJerkass and IdiotBoss were two. One of my crowning moments of awesome was taking down PrissyJerkass during an argument.) but making fun of the bad ones with my cool co-workers was absolutely worth it.

Even when Borders is long gone, I’ll remember sorting books in the stockroom and stopping to read the backs of each one so it took me forever to finish.

I’ll remember bitching with my co-workers about our boss and corporate.

I’ll remember playing Find-The-Worst-Romance-Title. (The Playboy Sheik’s Virgin Stablegirl will always be my personal favorite.)

I’ll remember the time I sold a book to a wanted murderer who was on the run from the police.

I’ll remember the day I had to go in back and punch boxes because a customer made me so mad, to the day that a customer came in with Christmas cards for all of us.

I’ll remember PoliticalChick screaming across the store to change the CD whenever a Miley Cyrus song would come on and RomanceWhore making me laugh until I cried from her jokes and LiteraryGuy and I talking about writing and favorite books for hours.

And I’ll remember discovering a very funny book called Retail Hell, which led me to a website full of awesome people I’m proud to claim a place among. ;)

Farewell Borders. You gave me my first step to going from student to working adult. You helped me learn to put anxiety aside, helped me to appreciate what working people go through, and introduced me to a lot of people I may never speak to again, but will always remember with a fond laugh. As far as first jobs go, for all my bitching, I was pretty lucky.

--BookAce

 

Retail Slave Decides To Quit And Finds Happiness

I am happy.

I know, that seems like an odd way to begin a submission, but I am honestly, truly happy. Things have come to a head and I am looking at not being a Primevil weekend supervisor. I've started applying for jobs in other companies, so in my head this nightmare is over.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love the vast majority of my staff, I love the fact that I only have 18.5hrs a week and that is guaranteed. If I want more, I can have it, but I will never get less, which in comparison to the uncertainty in a lot of your jobs, makes my job a dream. I just can't stand the lack of organisation anymore. I'm so tired of coming in to work and finding out that of my fitting room staff, one is off sick (he had an operation which the HR assistant knew about, therefore she knew he'd be off for a few weeks), there are 4 vacancies, one is useless and three have been authorised holiday, leaving me with only a 9.30-7 person, an 11-3 person and one 1-5 person (who is new, and a poisonous little snake).

I'm tired of planning the recovery and lunches, and being over-ridden without being informed of any changes. It means I look like a dick when I walk up to someone and ask why they're folding knitwear when I asked them to be in denim.

I'm tired of being able to tell someone off, but not having anything to back it up with. Literally, I can say "don't do that". if they do it again, I can say "I've told you before, don't do that" A third time and I can say "Right, that's it, I'm telling Manager" In other words, I have responsibility but no power to follow through on anything.

So, I made it known last weekend that I had started applying for new jobs. Lo and behold, on Monday (bank holiday, therefore the weekend staff work) one of the managers shared a rather interesting piece of news with me.

Our acting store managher has approached our Area Manager about introducing the role of Weekend Manager. He would like to introduce two positions, in order to take the pressure off the department managers, and my name was put forward instantly as one of the two people who would be suitable for the role. It would be manager wages, so a big jump up from what I'm on, more hours as a result of the added responsibility, but more power as well. I'd be able to carry out verbal and written warnings, instead of having to repeatedly remind a manager about something. I'd be able to nip problems in the bud so that we don't end up with waste of space dickheads like A & M (who I'm not sure I've written about before, but both had/have the same habits - always late or AWOL, lazy, and attitude problems). I'd have less stress because I wouldn't feel so impotent. It's the incentive I need to stay.

So I am honestly, stupidly happy. Either I will have the chance of being a weekend manager, in which case I stay with the company (and carry on working with the people I think so much of), or the Area Manager denies the request to introduce the roles, in which case I carry on with my job hunt. Either way, things will be changing for me. Wish me luck!

--Melpomene

RHUER Encourages Support For UNICEF To Aid African Famine

From Nyl:

From time to time, my company will partner with a reputable charity and we will ask for donations for said charity. Sometimes we offer an incentive/"thank you" (usually in the form of a coupon, which are rare enough that our customers jump at the chance to get one), but usually we don't. Right now, we are collecting for UNICEF.

For those who aren't aware, there is a severe drought in the Horn of Africa (Kenya, Ethiopia, and Somalia). Coupled with the fact that, until recently, al-Qaida had a stronghold in the region and relief could not get in, the death toll is in the tens of thousands, with millions more affected. The children are the ones suffering the most though, which is usually the case in these types of catastrophes. UNICEF works to improve living conditions for children around the world.

I am constantly blown away by customers' generosity. I consistently have people donating $5-$10, even as high as $20!  I have had people put items back so that they can give more, children handing over pocket change, and friends admonishing each other for not giving. These customers more than make up for the people who say no, then buy the impulse crap at the cash wrap. (I try not to judge, but really? that lip gloss is more important than a human life? Bastard.)

To learn more about the famine in Africa or to make a donation, go to www.UNICEF.org (a shameless plug for a cause I strongly believe in).

So on behalf of all the starving children in Africa, a heartfelt Thank You!

--Nyl

P.S.

I also have a short tale about my newest coworker, Starving Artist. I spilled coffee my laptop and now half the keys don't work. :/  So I'm going to save the full story for a time when I don't have to type it up on my iPod. But I will give you this little gem (similar to Craft Master's about her sister's bakery).

Apparently, Starving Artist came in and told the Visual Merchandiser, Cackles, that it was his first day. So she gave him a tour of the store and talked to him about the company, procedures, etc.

Imagine how pissed Cackles was when the store manager, Fangs, came out and told him she was ready for his INTERVIEW!!!!

Not sure why they actually hired him after that; he's been nothing but trouble since he started. It's actually bad enough that he got demoted from full to part time. And they have started documenting everything he does/says, including the time he went on his break in the middle of ringing up a customer (!!!!!!!!) without telling anyone.

Good times!

Barista Hell: Bad Managers and A Hurricane Inspire Strength To Make A Change

Hey guys!

LaughingBarista again here with an update.

I quit!

That's right you guys, I fucking quit. After five years of bullshit, hard time and nasty custys, I am done.

This has been a long time coming for me and because of that, I applied for a few jobs. One of which was a nannying position for two adorable kids which would pay me a dollar short of twice of what I'm making at that donut hellhole I work at. I went on an interview today and got the job. I start next Tuesday!

All of this was provoked by this weekend.

On Wednesday (the day before my days off), I stayed an extra TWO hours past my schedule time doing things for the manager (mostly cleaning, but also organizing stuff and getting a bunch of things ready for her the next day). I get to work on Saturday and all seems fine. Then she sits with me on my break and spends my entire break berating me, telling me how I've been doing a terrible job lately and how she doesn't understand why things have changed. She said that "You're the same LaughingBarista but your work ethic is different."

I'm sorry, but someone who has terrible work ethic won't stay two hours PAST their scheduled time to do things that they aren't required to do for the manager just to be nice.

I was honestly shocked. I try so hard to help her and she still claims it's just not enough. She even said "Your job is easy. You don't have it nearly as bad as I do. I have so much more work to do and I only ask you to do a little bit and you still can't do it. I really need you to do more."

This is beyond ridiculous because I do EVERYTHING that she does and I get paid $4 an hour less than she does. It's ridiculous that she would even insinuate this, let alone say it to my face. At this point I got upset and had to excuse myself before I quit on the spot.

About an hour later she came up to me and she asked me if I was ok. I told her no, that I really wanted to quit and that I was probably going to. She said not to do that, that she needs me and that she knows I do so much for her (contradictory, no?).

Then she said if I quit she'd never talk to me again (this is where I thought to myself "You need to quit and ASAP"). I told her I couldn't make any promises and that I wasn't sure. To her credit, she was very comforting and felt bad that I was so upset.

After calming down for a bit, we decided to call the owners and ask them what our plan of action was for Hurricane Irene (we were in its path and it was expected to hit later that night/early morning). He told us that we were in no way closing and that we must open, regardless of conditions and that it was no excuse for everyone not to be there.

I was supposed to open but my mom refused to let me go. She told me that it would be ridiculous to drive out in that weather (the weather wasn't as bad as my mom thought it was but it wasn't great for obvious reasons). I told manager this and she said that was fine because there was someone who lived down the road who could open for me. I told her I'd get there once the weather let up and I got there around 9AM.

First of all, I could not believe how fucking crazy it was that day. The line was out of the fucking door. People were crazy and ordering items worth upwards of $60 (AT A COFFEE PLACE!).

Then, around 11AM, the power went out and stayed out until 6PM. We called the owner after an hour or two and his response? "Oh, just stay there and sell all of the donuts, bagels, muffins and iced drinks you can!" We all thought this was ridiculous but we did it.

Customers were ridiculous. After making multiple announcements and three different signs placed on each door which must be opened to enter that said "We do not have power. Therefore, we cannot make you ANY hot drinks. This includes coffee, tea and lattes. Sorry for the inconvenience" people still asked for ALL of those things. We have NO power, so how can we make you new, hot coffee? Oh, that's right, we can't. Idiots.

It was because of this that I really decided to try hard for this new job. They are the SAME exact way in the winter and will expect you to get there, even if there is two feet of snow on your driveway. I didn't want to deal with that stress anymore.

I must say, it feels really good and I hope that everything goes well with my new job.

Until next time!

--LaughingBarista

Custy Appreciates Cheese Monger Slave

Hi RHU!

There has been a few nice customer tales recently, so I thought I'd add my own. I work as a cheese monger for a local grocery chain here in Utah, which can be challenging, as most people around here are unfamiliar with anything more exotic than cheddar.

However there is a certain segment of the population that appreciates fine food and drink. Now many of you may know that Utah is infamous for its difficult liquor laws, one of which means no wine or liquor sales in grocery stores. I am one of a few people in my store that does drink wine, but not a lot of it.

As a cheese monger part of my job duties is to help people pick the right cheeses for their little shindigs. This usually includes matching cheese with wine. However, I have to do this blind. I have to rely on the customer to recall what kind of wine they bought and I have to try and match my basic knowledge of cheese/wine pairings to that. I am getting more confident in this, but have only been at it for about 6 months now, so still learning.

About two weeks ago I had a wonderfully gracious woman at my island asking for my recommendations. I found out what wines she was having and suggested three or four cheese pairings to go with (you never want to do too many cheeses, it will all blend together eventually).

She left, pleased with her $60 or so worth of cheese selections. Earlier this week one of the cashiers came to speak to me and asked me if I remembered this women.

"Yes, I seem to recall her" I replied.

"She asked me to tell you how wonderful you are, and that your cheese selections were perfect. She came back to get more yesterday" said the cashier.

Apparently the woman was just gushing about how awesome I am and wanted to make sure that I knew how good I was at my job.

It's events like this that make me love my job even more. I am very proud of the company I work for and love showing that to my customers.

"It's no surprise people smile when they say 'Cheese'!"

--Not Normal