Retail Hell Underground

A Bad Retail Slave Pitches A Fit At A Pizza Place, Swearing In Front Of Kids, Gets Told By Custy

Good [insert time of day here, for your pleasure.]

I have a bizarre story to tell you. Today was my son's graduation from kindergarten. They had an actual graduation and everything. Pretty cool stuff, but it's not about that.

Tank and I took the day off to witness this event and then decided to let my son pick somewhere to eat. I was hoping he'd pick some place like...Chuck E. Cheese or either of the two local pizza/arcade places. Nope, the kid wanted McDonald's. Okay...cool, sure...so we took him to the mall's food court. McDonald's for him and something not McDonald's for us.

Our local mall has two food courts. One being a plain Jane type of food court, the second is designed like an outdoor movie area with car shaped booths and shit. Naturally you can guess which one we picked.

This food court is shaped like a U basically, with all the different food shops set up in the shape of a U (duh.) McDonald's happens to be sandwiched in between a Taco Bell and some No Name Pizza place. In order to get to Micky Dee's, you have to either pass the No Name Pizza place or go all around the damn food court from the other entry area.

Tank and I decided to get the kid's food first rather than trying to juggle 4 different trays of food, so we passed by the pizza place. I was semi looking at the pizza menu because I thought I might like to try some. I noticed the price of one slice of cheese pizza was 6 bucks, and out of habit said "eesh."

As it was around lunchtime you can imagine that the McDonald's line was fairly busy compared to the other places. No Name Pizza had zero customers, which was apparently pissing off the employee there. As fate would have it (or by design, I guess) there was a little window on the wall between McDonald's and No Name Pizza. But the window faced customers rather than into the other shop.

While we were waiting we started to hear the No Name Pizza dude bitching and complaining. "No good pricks stuffing your fat asses with crap food from McDonald's. Get the fuck out the mall if you are going to be stupid and dumb," was one of the 'cleaner' things he said.

If a customer came to his line or looked at his menu he'd complain and bitch, causing people to just shrink away from the counter.

As I turned to Tank and said, "What wonderful customer service..." some random teen in the McDonald's line spoke up and told the No Name Pizza dude, "Well, maybe if you weren't such a dick face you may actually get some sort of business. Swearing at people ain't gonna get it, you nut job."

This led to the NNP dude to freak out on this teen, saying things like "You little punk, I'm going to fuck you up," and "I'll beat the snot out of your face."

My children were not the only kids present. I sent Tank and the kids away to find a table on the other side of the food court, hopefully out of ear shot while I waited to order.

In the end, mall security had to get involved because NNP dude was causing such a huge scene. I'm not sure what happened to him as he was shoved into the back by his coworker, but I'm sensing he may not have a job much longer. (Or if he's the owner, may not be in business much longer.) Not sure what lead to this outburst, I highly doubt it was because of me... My "eesh" wasn't loud. Tank didn't even hear it. Whether he snapped or was always liked that, I was quite shocked.

For those wondering, no I didn't get a pizza. I decided on Chinese and Tank got Taco Bell. And the kids were set loose in the mall play area after they were done eating, so I doubt they even remember it. :-)

--Karebear

Snob And Stuckup Get Told By Gay Gym Buddy Of Karebear's

So I joined the gym. I realized that after joining the ranks in an office setting I'm not getting the exercise I normally got while working in a store. Friends were talking about bikinis and I just thought to myself, "Well, shit..." So I joined a gym!

However, I know myself. I needed a gym buddy. I could go with Tank, but he's a little crazy about his workout and yeah...recipe for trouble. So I talked my friend into coming with me. I'll call him Pepper cause he likes pepper and I am not feeling creative.

Now, a little back story about Pepper. Pepper is a fairly attractive male. He was fairly popular with the ladies in high school and college. He's gay though. Very proud to be gay. But you won't know he was from talking to him or even looking at him. And it's not like he blurts it out when you first meet him.

I mean, in the past, I had ex boyfriends get jealous about me hanging out with Pepper until I would say, "You do know he's gay...right?"

Anyways! Pepper and I have been hitting the gym twice a week for a few weeks now. There are two girls in their late teens, maybe early 20s (though I doubt it) that are ALWAYS there...ALWAYS! I'll call them Snob and StuckUp. They are your normal boy crazy college kids, and have made it known they have taken a fancy to Pepper. However, they are the biggest, snobbiest, stuck up bitches that I have witnessed to date.

For example, there was another girl who would be there. Snob and StuckUp liked to pick on her for being chubby. Now, this girl never actually heard them say anything about her because she worked out with headphones on.

So I told Snob and StuckUp, "Well, she's at a gym, at least she is doing something about it."

I only got a middle finger in response and they called me names. No biggie, whatever, right?

There's also another guy who comes to the gym. I'm 99% certain he's gay too...since he wears a shirt that says HEY GUESS WHAT...I'M GAY. KISS MY ASS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. So...yeah, okay I know he's gay for reals...he and Pepper have exchanged phone numbers!

I'll just call him BlueEyes cause he has some sparkling blue eyes and, again, not feeling creative.

So, Pepper and I were at the gym today. As usual, Snob and StuckUp were there doing whatever the fuck they were doing while making googly eyes at Pepper, glaring at me, and talking shit about BlueEyes. They must have been feeling super confident today because they came up to Pepper while we were getting our work out shoes on in the lobby and the following convo happened.

Snob: Hey hot stuff, how about you ditch ugly here and come hang out with us?

StuckUp: Yeah...we'll show you a good time.

Pepper: No thanks girls.

Snob: Why not? I bet we are way better in bed than that freak ever is..(pointing to me.)

Pepper: I wouldn't know. She's not my girlfriend.

(At this point, BlueEyes was standing at the desk, and we heard him snicker.)

StuckUp: What you laughing about, fag?

BlueEyes: Nothing... just know that you two are wasting your time.

Snob: Oh, does little pussy boy have a wittle crush on my future fuck buddy? Freak. (Yeah...she really said that. So classy!)

Pepper: I don't know who your future fuck buddy is because it's obviously not me. Besides, I have a crush on HIM. By the way, you should really stop with the hateful crap that comes out of your mouths. It makes you look ugly...well, uglier...

And with that Pepper took off into the gym with me following behind on trying not to fall on the floor from laughing. Their shocked faces were too priceless.

--Karebear

A Power Outage Brings A Crusty To The Mall

In September, we experienced the opposite of productive. Earlier in the morning, the power at work went out. Not to just us, but about 95% of the town I work in. (We first thought it was just us at first, but we have 4 other stores in our strip and none of them had power.) I was standing outside like a derp smoking a cig with the girls from the hair salon next to us. Tank was on the phone trying to get a hold of the power peoples, as well as the worker at the sandwich shop that's on the end of our strip. (4th store has no one in it because the old clothing store went out of business from lack of business.)

Apparently half the town was on the phone with the power peoples as well because Tank was on hold for the longest. But the sandwich shop worker (SS from here on out) managed to talk to a human being. Apparently there was a car crash somewhere in the town with a semi involved. Semi managed to roll over and pull down a power line or something in the process. (Not really sure, I didn't follow the convo too well because one of the hair salon girls was showing off pictures of her baby.) But it was going to be a 2+ hour process to get the power back.

Since our store is on the corner, we have a lot of windows that gives natural light. So we were able to do some basic file work until we realized half the files still needed to be printed. We were done in about 20 minutes with that and sat and twiddled our thumbs. We decided to sit outside and people/car watch for something to do.

Hair salon must of had appointments during the day, but with no power they can't really do much. Cut hair, sure, if you don't mind it being in the dark. But you surely can't get it styled and blow dried without power. And since there was no power, the girls couldn't get the phone numbers off the computer to call the appointments to call.

Most of the women were understanding; they didn't have power at their house either, but just came to see just in case. One woman though was flipping shit over it. Apparently her hair HAD to be done RIGHT THEN AND THERE. One of the girls offered to cut it, in the dark. (They only have one window, not as bright.) But the lady wasn't having it and threatened to never come back there again.

Hair salon girl whispered to me saying 'Thank heavens. She doesn't even tip and bitches about everything.'

SS came out around 10:30am saying he was worried about his food going bad. (Lots of deli meat and such.) By then the power had already been out for about a hour. He offered us free sandwiches and drinks and chips and...basically free lunch. He said he couldn't open properly without power. Plus, him and Tank go way back. Guess Tank hooked him up with a major discount on an alarm system. (Tank gets a lot of free/discounted sammichs.)

So we all had a picnic outside on SS's patio. Afterwards, Tank called the power people and was told it could take up to another 2 hours. By then we were all like screw it, let's just take the day off now. ...Even though both Tank and I are taking the day off tomorrow to go car shopping.

Even though it was a bad day for working, it was still fun shooting the shit with the others. And that lady had us cracking up for awhile after she left. 

--<3Karebear

Karebear And Grandma Meet A Handsome And Kind Doctor

From: Karebear

I want to give a shout out to all the awesome doctors and nurses out there.

In my family, we all take turns taking my grandmother to the doctor because of many different reasons. (So she isn't alone, can't drive anymore herself, make sure we understand anything medical, etc.) For most of her adult life she has visited the same doctor, who I shall call Dr. Oldie in this post.

Dr. Oldie is a decent doctor when it comes to finding what is wrong with you medically, but his people skills are lacking. For example, one time I took her and he asked me if I was her great-granddaughter. This sort of depressed my grandma because she's already upset that she has outlived her husband and one of her children, plus she is reminded everyday she isn't getting any younger with all her health issues and such. So yeah...

Every time she had to visit the doctor, she would become upset and beg us not to go. Well, some of her friends in her retired community were talking about this young new doctor, who I am naming Dr. Young for the post. They raved that he was a top notch doctor, who was "quite easy on the eyes!" (Always awesome to see 4-5 little old ladies gushing about some dude over their bingo cards.) Finally my grandma's curiosity got to her, and she made an appointment with this mystery doctor.

Her first appointment lands on a Friday afternoon. I'm usually first pick for afternoon appointments because I can easily drop my kids off at daycare and take the time off work usually. So I pick her up and take her to the office.

From the beginning the receptionist made her feel welcome and happy with a pleasant "it's nice to meet you, Ms. Karebear's Grandma. I need you to fill out some paperwork, but if you have any questions, please come up and ask. I'll be more than happy to help you!"

I know you all say that this is the receptionists job and such, but at Dr. Old's office she was usually greeted with a, "Here, fill this out and bring it back when you done." So a major step up for her.

When we got back to the room, the nurse was friendly and helpful. She made friendly chit chat while doing her nurse-y thing. She could even tell my grandmother was nervous, so she tried comforting her and such.

Then the doctor came in. Grandma actually gasped. First because I don't think she expected someone so young. Dr. Young looked like he just graduated high school rather than medical school. And secondly, he looked like a younger version of George Clooney. Score one for Grandma since she just loves, loves, loves, Mr. Clooney.

Not only was he handsome and young, he was a flatterer.

Dr: "Is this [referring to me] your twin sister?"

Grandma: *giggles like a school girl* "No, that's my granddaughter! She's the baby of the family!"

(For the first 18 years of my life, I was, until my oldest cousin had her first child... but once your the baby of the family, I guess your stuck with the title.)

Dr: "You don't even look old enough to have children, let alone grandchildren!"

And my grandmother giggled like a schoolgirl some more.

He was an awesome doctor, covering all the bases while with my grandmother. He was with her for 15 minutes longer than Dr. Old ever stayed in the room. He made my grandmother feel special and comfortable. It was great to see her smiling like a little girl. I think she may have developed a crush on him as well.

By the time we were on our way home, she was singing her praises. ("His hands were just sooo soft!" "He was way gentler than Dr. Old ever was!" "His hair, his eyes! *swoon*") She called up all her friends, as well as my mom and aunts. When she got to my unmarried aunt, I think I saw the wheels in her head turning.

She told my aunt she had to take her next visit to meet the young, hot, new doctor who was very much single. (Yes my grandmother asked.) But you know what, it was amazing to see my grandmother that happy about seeing a doctor. As long as she gets the proper medical treatment she needs, she can gush and crush and swoon all she wants.

I feel there may be a lot more doctor visits in the future. Bravo Dr. Young, you made a new fan that day. (My mother also has a thing for George Clooney, I nearly facepalmed when my mother asked for his phone number so she could set up an appointment.)

--Karebear

Karebear Wonders: Have You Been Asked By Strangers To Be A Taxi Service?

Has anyone ever have a complete stranger ask them for a ride home (or to other locations) after you finished shopping or got off work?

In the last two years, I have been asked three times now, latest one today. I had to take the day off to take my daughter to her yearly check up, and since it's located near a Hellmart, I decided to pick up a few things afterwards.

On the way out, I had a lady, who I'd place between early to mid 20s, ask me for a ride to her house, which she stated was on the other side of the town. Whereas, I was heading the total opposite direction.

First time I was asked, before my daughter was born, was when I was working at a Hellmart (different one than the one I visited today.) I had just gotten off and had to rush to pick up my son from daycare in time before being charge the late fee, when a younger looking man asked me for a ride to the airport.

Now, there are three airports in drivable distances from me, but they are close to 2 hours away one way, if traffic is good.

Naturally, I rejected him and he lost it. Saying it was going to be my fault if he misses his plane, etc. Luckily, I caught the eye of the AP (LP in other stores) manager and he saved me from the customer. Even went as far as escorting me to my car while his AP lackeys dealt with the customer. I don't know what ever happened because I started a 4 day vacation the next day and never bothered to ask upon returning.

I'm fairly certain he called and complained about my "lack of customer service skills" though. While I was on my mini vacation, my department supervisor sent me a text asking what had happened.

When I told her, she only responded, "You for real, girl? Shit is fucked up." She wasn't the best supervisor, but tried being friendly and "cool" with the little slaves. I don't think AP would have told her about it, but who knows.

Now, I didn't know any of these people. Never seen them in my life. I am very cautious around strangers, especially when I have my kids with me.

Both towns this happened in (second person who asked was in the same town as today - Hispanic lady trying to mime it to me because I couldn't understand Spanish, only picked it up when she said 'mi casa' and pointed to my car and a direction) offer taxi and bus services. Multiple buses going to different locations in 10-15 minute intervals. And I am sure a taxi would be more than happy to take someone to the airports because I often see some advertising on the back window, saying Runs to [airport] and [other locations miles and miles away.] (Or something to that extent.)

And on top of that, I really don't have the room in my car for an extra person plus whatever bags/luggage they have. Two car seats in the back leave very little room in between and usually that space is stuffed with toys and blankets the kids may want. The trunk is full with a stroller plus my purchases. And my front seat, I hate to say, is usually covered in papers, books, and other clutter. (Though, it's organized clutter!) So unless these people plan on riding on my roof...not really going to work.

I was just wondering if anyone has ever experienced something like this or if I just have the words "Trustworthy" or "Gullible" tattooed on my forehead? (I have no issue driving friends or family around, with proper amount of time in between asking and driving.) And they never accept no the first time, even if I am stern about. I always end up lying saying I am late for [insert most random thing here.] (Told the lady today I was late for picking up my brother from jail and that everything I bought was to make him a nice home cooked dinner... She doesn't know I don't have a brother in jail...)

--<3 Karebear

Karebear Has a "Custy Moment" After Waitress Puts Moves On Her Boyfriend

Well it's been a rough few weeks for the fam and myself. Sorry for the blah kind of news, but there's a reason I am pointing it out because it's kind of related to the story.

A few weeks ago I found out I found out I was pregnant. Naturally it came as a shock for a few reasons - we weren't trying, planning on waiting til when/if we tie the knot, and I was also on birth control. However, without going into too many details, I ended up losing the baby. As you can understand, it kind of shocked our world. I've always had a problem with depression and this event kind of put me in a downward spiral. Thanksgiving wasn't really a happy event in my family this year, suffering from this, plus my mother also got sick and my daughter ended up getting pinkeye. No turkey was consumed that day by us.

Tank being the sweetheart that he is, decided to take me out to dinner for a little "us" time earlier this week. After my mother got over her illness and the baby's eyes were no longer pink, we dropped the kids off at my parent's house and went out. The dinner probably would have been nice and such...if our waitress was the Slut from Hell.

Now, Tank is a very good looking guy. I don't blame other women (or gay men, really) for wanting to check him out. As long as they stay the hell away from him.

Well, once we were seating, Slut focuses all her attention on him. She asked him what he wanted to drink, with a "hon" attached to it. No big deal, people use those stupid pet names sometimes. He ordered...then the Slut had the balls to just walk off without even bothering to get what I wanted. Perhaps she didn't notice me? ...Doubt it, I was standing/sitting right next to her. She looked right at me..,

Whatever, I just told Tank what I wanted to eat so he could order it so I didn't have to fight for it. But when she came back with his drink, she was telling him (not us, HIM) about the daily specials, and then she fucking touched his shoulder. Like, in one of those flirty, I'm-trying-to-seduce-you kind of touches. Alright...maybe she is fishing for a tip or something...

However, Tank is not one of those kind of guys that is touchy-feely. I mean, it took me a month of coaxing him to let me hold his hand in public. (In private is a whole other story.) He politely, but firmly, told the waitress not to touch him and then managed to order his food, my food, and some cheese sticks for starters.

Well, she brought out the starters, and she TOUCHED HIM AGAIN! Now, at this point, I'm seeing red...literally seeing red. I was in pain, depressed, and was watching some skimpy slut try to weasle her way into my man's pants right in front of me...and she was still ignoring me. Tank, of course, bluntly told her, "Do not fucking touch me again. I am here with my girlfriend, trying to have a decent dinner." Slut just scoffs at me and walked off.

You'd think she got the fucking hint then and there. But nooooo. When she brought out our dinner, she really screwed up. Big time. First, she brought out something totally different than what Tank ordered me. (I'm talking, I ordered a salad and she brought out a fucking $10 more steak.) Then she TOUCHED HIM AGAIN!!

And...sigh, I am not proud to admit this, blast me all you want for it, I deserve my own place in hell for my awful moment...but I just snapped. I stood up, threw my food across the table and yelled at her, "First, this is NOT what I ordered! Second, MY BOYFRIEND HAS TOLD YOU TWICE TO STOP TOUCHING HIM YOU LITTLE HUSSY!" I threw down two dollars onto the table "for the plate," told Tank to talk to a manager and get the shit squared away and told him I would meet him in the car.

As I was walking out, I clearly heard Slut mutter "What a cunt" under her breath. Tank heard it too. I'm pretty sure he was sending me mental thoughts saying "Please don't turn around and punch her, just keep walking, please please please." All I did was flip her my middle finger and walked out.

It took Tank about 10 minutes to get everything settled with the manager and to get our food (and the proper thing I ordered) boxed up for us. I was outside, pacing circles around the car and chain smoking my anger (probably not wise in recent events.) When he got outside, most of my anger disappeared but not all, but still I broke down, wept, and kept saying I'm sooooo sorry! Luckily, my hero boyfriend wasn't mad at me. Reassured me he probably would of killed the waiter if roles were reversed.

We went home, had a candle lit dinner in the living room with our boxed up food, and I crawled into bed crying my eyes out while he went to pick up my kids. But we got the whole meal for free, plus a free chocolate cake. Plus the manager gave Tank some vouchers for the "next time." I tore those up too quick. My only saving grace? We went super early on a weekday. No one else was there to witness my breakdown besides some other waitresses/waiters.

I feel bad for my "custy" moment, but damn. Just damn! Still makes me mad. Eesh. I'll gladly let you beat me up for my "custy" moment though!

--Karebear

Holiday Shoppy Gears Up: And So Do the Crazy Custys

I went to the store in the early afternoon on Sunday. Naturally it was pretty busy, with people doing their shopping for their weekly food supply (and maybe for Thanksgiving food supply.) I saw some pretty bizarre things in that one trip then I normally do while shopping.

1. People nearly causing accidents for parking spots. Saw one person try to park in the same spot as the cart return thing. Now, in their defence, if a large SUV or something of the like parks next to it, it can be tricky to see if you are unfamiliar with the parking lot. But this person, in his fancy BMW, thought he was being slick by cutting someone off for it. His car did not look too pretty after that.

2. Someone ran over a cart that was left in the middle of the parking lot.

3. Saw someone harassing the Salvation Army door jingler person. I get that the little bell can be annoying if you hear it a lot, but the person is just doing their job. No reason to yell at the poor person. I brought the bell ringer a coffee and some chocolate chip cookies on my way out. McDonald's kind, so cost me all of $2 and change. Put the rest of my change from the $5 I used in the money pot. Sure it was my ciggy money, but figured it was better used that way. (Trying to quit anyways!)

4. While waiting in line, saw a young mother with a baby in the front of her cart. Child couldn't have been no older than 3. Baby didn't have the belt on and the mother was too busy on her cellphone. Baby stands up once, an employee warns the mother. Baby stands up twice, I warn the mother. Baby stands up a third thing and before I can say something again, baby takes a tumble right out of the cart. Baby hit her head on one of the end-cap shelves. Baby cut her head open. Lots of crying and screaming and blood. FINALLY the mother puts her phone away and starts screaming that she is going to sue the store for hurting her child. I stuck around to talk to the LP guys about it since I knew them from working in the same store once upon a time ago. Not sure if the mother is really going to sue, but pretty certain that baby needed some stitches in her head. (I know head wounds tend to bleed more, I had the first hand experience when my son busted his open on the corner of a sidewalk. Even if the baby didn't need stitches, the mother was recommended to take her baby to the ER. I really hope she did cause she hit her head pretty hard.)

5. When leaving, I had a car wait right when I stopped at my car to put the groceries in the trunk. There was a spot like...8 parking spots down, but he wanted mine because I managed to score a front row parking spot. I had a full, FULL, FULLLLLLL cart. Naturally it took me awhile, even though I was trying to hurry. I had to play tetris with my trunk and bags (I have a small trunk and 75% of it is taken up by a stroller.) Not even a minute into it, the guy starts honking at me and yelling at me to hurry up. And of course I always return my carts to the proper place. Parked kind of far from one, so I walked my happy ass back into the store to return it. Guy was still sitting there, fuming. 5 minute process...he could of parked in the other spot and been inside by then. Ugh! (I didn't even hurry up with the leaving part either, instead I got in my car, put seat belt on, drank a sip of soda, grabbed a ciggy and lit up, put the radio on a new station, THEN left. I'm horrible, I know, but still felt good.)

6. Lastly...it took me 10 mins to get out of the damn parking lot. Was...tiring!

Three hours later I make it home...Tank thought I got lost. (Even though I texted him stating I was on my way home, but he was too busy playing a video game with my son and letting my baby color on his arms.)

Let the holidays begin! (Though...my mom is already done Christmas shopping for the kids...been done since August!)

<3 Karebear

Karebear Laments: Too Much Christmas, Not Enough Thanksgiving!

Well RHU, it appears that the country has sunk to a new low. Karebear can elaborate...

So our business is open for half a day on Saturdays. Usually requires either Tank or Papa to be there, and then either me or Dolly covering the phones. So we switch every other Saturday, usually. This past Saturday it was my turn, and Tank's as well.

Now I'm usually pretty good about getting my work done by Friday for the week, so Saturdays are usually about 5 hours of boredom. Unless there is a client scheduled to come in that day, I usually deep clean the office. This Saturday I decided to do a little decorating for Thanksgiving.

The kids and I made some little paper turkeys, and I put the names of the 4 major employees on some of them. Me, Tank, Papa, and Dolly. Those went on our desks or doors to the proper offices. Mine was the only tacky looking one because I let my kids do that one while I did the others. Tank doesn't care, he thought they were cute.

We had no meetings set up for the day, but around 10am, some guy and girl came in to try to sell something or other to us. I don't remember what exactly, except that we had no need for whatever it was. Well, the girl was staring hard at our decorations.

Her: Why do you have a bunch of turkeys up?

Me: ...Because Thanksgiving is coming up...?

Her: What's that?

I just gave her a wtf-are-you-asking look. But she went on further.

Her: How come you don't have your Christmas tree up yet?

Me: Because I don't plan on setting it up until December. Thanksgiving is first, I like to recognize it somehow.

Her: There's no such thing as Thanksgiving! You should have a tree up! Santa won't come with presents otherwise!

I just looked at her like she was dumb, I really had no idea how I was supposed to react to that outburst. Tank was trying very hard not to laugh, but he wasn't really succeeding. The guy she came in with looked highly uncomfortable. They left shortly after that, with me still giving her a wtf look.

I turned to Tank and said, "I know people may not celebrate certain holidays, but seriously... what the fuck was that? She'd probably shit herself if she knew I don't normally set up my tree until Dec. 23rd!"

And with that Tank was doubled over laughing...he said it was because of the reaction on my face. I stuck a paper turkey on his face and went back to my cleaning/decorating.

Bah humbug!

--Karebear

Hiring New People Sucks

I realize this is kind of long, but it's been a very GRRRR ordeal for me. GRR as in, tiring and stressful on all parties.

So with the holidays approaching (face it, they are), Tank realized he needs to hire more people to help with the extra coverage that people are requesting from us. A few malls have a contract with us to provide mall security, as well as some banks and then your normal rich people who want to feel safe while throwing their annual Christmas blowout party. (I don't really know all the people or businesses that we help with, I just answer the phones, set up appointments, and greet the clients who come in.) So we basically need to hire a little mini army to join the ranks of our already little mini army.

I posted on all the job boards, craigslist, and even some local newspaper ads about the job. Come in to find my email full of 50 (FIFTY) applications. And this was only day one. Alrightie then...Tank had me pulling the applications that met the basic requirements. He gave me a list of the basic requirements, I read the applications, either clicked save or delete. Out of the 50 applications, I deleted 20. (Seriously?! READ the requirements!! They are there for a reason!) So, I'm down to 30.

Tank has one of those assessments/questionnaires that people have to fill out. (He made his own website and his own application/assestemnt. - Pretty impressive!)  For some reason I was getting alllllll of them, even the ones that scored below the percentage that we wanted. So Tank had me finding the ones that were scored the highest. (Most of the questions were all common sense, like "If someone were to come into the store and grab X item off the shelf, what would you do?" and the answers would have two decent answers [one being more decent than the other] and two horribly stupid answers.) Decided to give all the apps that scored above 50% to Tank and just save the others, for the just in case moments. So, he got 20 applications. Didn't think he was going to pick all of them, but he did...and I had to call 20 people to set up interviews with!

Luckily I only had to leave messages for 5 people, the other 15 answered. I suck horribly at leaving messages..."Oh...uh...hi...this is Karebear...from...uh" *crap what's the company name again?!* "[Company.]" I get so tongue tied talking to thin air.

Anyways, finally got all 20 set up for an interview in a 3 day time period.

Now, hiring takes a stupidly long process here. Tank wants to make sure he is getting the best of the best of the best. Though, who can blame him? It's a security job. Need to be...securityily...(Inventing new words here.)

Here's our process: (Note: I realize I say you here, it got much easier to just say you rather than the interviewee over and over.)

First Interview With Papa/What he looks for:
Before you are even set to the office for the actual interview, I was told to take notes. Tank wanted me to make sure that you are polite to me and Dolly (other office lady) or if you are a dickwad to us, but a peach to them. I was told to see how you are waiting, such as if you are sitting there patiently or looking impatient. Not really sure why Tank wanted this info, but if bossman wants it, bossman gets it. (I also offer you a beverage, usually coffee, tea or water. If you say yes please or no thank you, I take note you are polite, and sorta semi like you.)  Then you get to deal with Papa, and here are some of the things HE pays attention to:

What time you arrive for your interview. If you arrive 10-20 minutes before your scheduled interview, he loves you. If you arrive on time or 5 minutes before, he believes you'll be at work on time most of the time. If you arrive after scheduled interview, without a logical explanation (IE: car accident, car troubles, death of family member), you'll most likely not get hired. (If you call beforehand saying you're late because of traffic or are lost, he'll consider you again - just tell you to leave earlier or buy a map.)

Judges you on your handshake. He won't offer his hand, but likes it when interviewee does. You get kudo Papa points. Also likes stronger handshakes, but won't reallllllly judge on strength of it. (He's a weird old man, I guess.)

How you are dressed. He says the better you look for your interview, the more you want the job. If you come in looking like a bum that slept on a sidewalk the night prior, you most likely will not get hired. (He understands that times are tough and money is tight for folks, but again, he knows Tank wants the best of the best of the best. Surely isn't going to risk his job - like he'd really get fired...not)

Second Interview with Tank and Papa
It's usually following right after the first interview, unless Tank is in a meeting or out of the office. Then you are scheduled for the next available day. I don't really know what goes on here, just that you have to really wow Tank. He trusts Papa's judgement, but there have been times when Tank hasn't liked one of Papa's suggestions. One of Tank's favorite questions though is, "If someone were to come up to my girlfriend and try to mug her or something, what would you do?" One guy told Tank, "I'd beat the ever living shit out of him for messing with a lady, then call you to see if you wanted to beat the ever living shit out of him for messing with your girlfriend." Even though Tank advised against doing just that, he still hired the guy. (He changes the question up sometimes, from mugging to kidnapping...when I asked, he said it's one of his biggest fears. Waiting for the day he hires me a personal bodyguard for the times he isn't present.)

Paperwork - sooooo much paperwork!!
If you are deemed awesome enough, you get to go through the paperwork process. You get to sit at the end of my desk and fill out so much paperwork, asking for so much info that your eyeballs bleed. We want SSN, birth date, driver's license number, plate numbers, PERC card (I think it's call that) info, proof of residence, proof of birth, proof of HS/College/whatever else education related, if you got a firearms card (in my state you can't have a gun unless you got some special little card), that number, name of your first born. You get the drift. I sit there twiddling my thumbs going OMG are you done yet?! in my mind. Unless I got something else to do, but usually...I don't know. (I finish my work too quick sometimes and the phone doesn't ring a lot...Only so many times I can reorganize the file cabinets or put label stickers on items like tape and pens.)

After all that is done I give you a packet to take to a doctor to get a TB test. Then I give you a little cup to pee in so Tank can do the pee-pee test right then and there (drug test.) That way you can't use someone else's pee. We also recommend getting the TB test done ASAP cause you won't be hired until that is returned. We also have to conduct an extensive background check. We don't want pedos roaming the halls of the malls where children are present or ex-bank robbers guarding a bank. (Obviously!) So I send you on your way with a cheery "We'll call you soon!"

Final interview and more paperwork!!!
After your TB test and background comes back, we (I) call you back in to talk to Tank again. At this time, he asks if you REALLLLY want this job. If you say no, we pack you up and out the door (no one has ever said no), if you say yes you get to fill out more forms for payroll. Once that is all done, I give you the uniform and set you up for an orientation.I explain that you need to be present and on time for the orientation, as well in full uniform. If you have tattoos on your arms, you must wear the long sleeve shirt because visible tattoos are a no no on the floor. I also give you the information of where you are to report to after your orientation/training. Schedule will be discussed during those times.

I'm not involved in orientation or training so I don't really know what is conducted there. Just that Papa hates doing it so much, that he tries to get all the new hires in at the same time.

Out of those 20 people, 10 have already been hired. I have complied a list of things that annoyed me, Tank and Papa during the whole process.

Entering the building like you are like the gift of the Earth. Had some guy come waltzing in and in a sing-songing voice yell "I have arrived bitches!" Yeah...swearing...really? No...dude, just no.

Not telling me who you are. Seriously, I had a guy come in for an interview, stated he was there for an interview, and when I asked for his name all he gave me was, "I have an interview at 11." No shit Sherlock. However, I cannot inform Papa you are there if I do not have your name to pull up your file/application. Papa had the appointment book of interviewees with him in his office. I can not magically read minds!!

Calling nonstop about your interview. If you only had the first interview and didn't schedule the second one, I am not going to magically schedule you for one. I will give the line, "We are currently interviewing others and will get back to you regarding your application once we are finished." If you are calling after all the paperwork, please wait....these background checks are not instant. (Though one guy actually brought in his own...hoping we wouldn't do it because he was trying to hide the fact that he had been arrested for possession. Like we're stupid, gosh!)

Submitting an application and calling nonstop about it before we even have a chance to review it. No joke, a guy called and asked if we looked at his app yet. When I asked when he submitted it, he stated he finished it 3 minutes before. Dude...I haven't even looked at my email in about 15 minutes. I'll call you when I have showed it to Tank and he deemed you call worthy.

Do NOT look down  my shirt!! If I catch you, I will tell Papa and Tank! While I'm not sure what they'll do, I'll still tell them!

Do NOT hit on me! (Or the other office lady!)

Do NOT interrupt either of the boys while they are talking/asking questions. Doing it accidentally is one thing (apologize for it), but doing it all the time...shows that you aren't willing to listen, bub!

Don't ask me for my phone number! Creeper!!

It's been a very long and tiring ordeal. Though, I got the pleasure of telling Tank that I thought one of the interviewees seemed like a sexual harassment case in the waiting. Guy never looked at my face, always my breasts, and made some very crude comments to me while he was waiting for Papa to interview him. ("Does the carpet match the drapes?" "What size bra you got?") Yeah....like I wouldn't mention ANY of this to Tank...*rolls eyes* I realize I should have kicked him out then and there (Tank asked me why I didn't), but somehow I think him not getting a callback or hire was some sweet revenge.

Tank still wants to hire 5-10 more, so I get to go through another patch of applications to sort out for him later this week. (One mall alone wants about 7-10 new guys there to cover the holiday madness. Ugh.) Save me?

--Karebear

 

Retail Slaves as Custys Pet Peeve: Using Cell Phone On The Floor and Cursing

I consider myself a very laid-back customer while shopping. I have worked retail long enough to know that the job sucks, the pay sucks, the customer sucks, and basically everything sucks. If something is mismarked, I won't scream and bitch about it suppose to be $2 cheaper or whatever. I'll pay the extra money, kindly tell the cashier and manager that it's mismarked and carry on. If I don't have the proper amount of money, I'll return it to it's rightful place.

I can wait in lines that are too long without complaining. I won't take my bad mood out on cashiers or other employees. I say my thank yous and whatever. I treat the employees how I would have been wanted to be treated while I was doing what it is they are doing. I get it. It SUCKS.

However, my biggest pet peeve is when employees are using their phone while on the floor. Now I am not talking about keeping it in their pocket. I have done that. I understand people have kids and may keep it close in case something comes up. Or other family issues that might come up. (Once had a cashier have to answer her cell because her father was dying and found out right then and there he passed away - I totally understand that and hugged her and even waited for a new cashier since she was pretty unstable.)

What I am talking about is when an employee uses it for PERSONAL use. Sitting there texting in front of me irks me, but whatever...maybe they got kids who are telling them they are home from where ever or something. However, this story makes me mad:

My mother's birthday is coming up soon. I wanted to buy her something fairly nice, but within my budget. So, I went to Hellmart. Their jewelry is decent enough, I guess, plus they offer layaway, so I didn't have to blow my wallet all at once. The girl that was helping me was no older than 23, I'd say (I do realize I suck at judging ages, but she seemed young and kinda immature.)

I picked out a pretty necklace I thought Mommy would like and was in the process of putting it on layaway. Girl was entering my info into the computer when her cellphone BLARES. And she had one of those horrible ringtones with a horrible song that made my teeth shake. Instead of silencing it, she ANSWERED it, saying "Heyyyyy guuuurl." I won't repeat everything she said into the phone, but it was along the lines of getting extremely fucked up with enough swear words that would make a sailor blush.

Now I had my 5 year old with me at the time...she was using words that I did not want his little ears to hear. I grabbed my stuff and walked off and found a manager. Manager didn't want to believe me, but when my 5 year old asked me what a pussy was in front of him, I think he got the message.

If I didn't have my son, I'm sure I would have given her a piece of my mind, and it wouldn't have been pretty. I'll probably just get a gift card for my mom to one of her favorite scrapbooking stores. Can never go wrong with that. I just hope my son decides not to repeat any of those words to my parents or in school...Really don't need them to wonder if they heard them from me. >.<

--<3 Karebear

 

 

 

 

Things My Son Says While Shopping = Kill Me Now Moments

I think my kid wants to kill me with embarrassment.

Seems like every time we are out in public, usually the store or something, he says or does something that makes me want to go "That's not my kid!" But it seems to get the retail people smiling, so I guess it's not soooo bad.

First, we were at the library. He had already picked out a book to take home, and I was browsing the shelves. He would randomly say, "Hey mommy, what's this word?" or "What's this?" I was reading the back of a book that looked interesting, when he says, "hey mooooooom." I asked him to wait for a few seconds so I could finish reading the back, when all of a sudden he just yells "Mom! I got to pee and poop!!!!" Top of his lungs, in the quiet library, with at least a dozen people nearby. Eesh. We left shortly after he was done in the bathroom.

Second, we were at the store, buying some pancake mix cause I wanted pancakes the next morning. The cashier was a younger girl, with a boyish haircut, but well, she was rather large breasted. (I may have made the mistake of confusing her for a boy if it weren't for that.) Next thing I know, my son is asking, "Mommy why does that boy got big boobies?" Even though I was very red in the face and apologizing to the poor slave, she was laughing her butt off. (I'll never forgive my ex for teaching my son the word boobies years ago.)

Lastly, in a different store, stocking up on some bathroom essentials. (ie: toilet paper, soap, tampons - face it, I'm a girl, it happens, deal with it.) While ringing out, my son decides to get all curious and start asking what tampons are for. My usual "you'll know when you are old enough to know" answer wasn't enough for him. He asks, "Do you stick it in your ears?" then he went through mouth, nose, belly button etc. Til it dawns on him, "Oh no! Does it go in your butt?!" Red faced mommy again, trying to hush him going "Nooooo!" I pointed his attention to candy and he quickly forgot, but the cashier sure was giggling from that.

Next time I go out, I may just put a muzzle on him. (Okay, not really, but maybe I can introduce the quiet game to him.)

<3 Karebear

Karebear: Men can't cook? Girls can drive stick?

I have two stories. I'll try to keep them short, but since they are along the same lines (Women can't do.... and Men can't do...) I bunched them together.

Story 1:

Tank and I went to the grocery store to pick up some food so he could cook me dinner (aww, isn't he sweeeeet?!). I will admit to everyone and their mother, I CANNOT cook. I burn water. (Seriously, I have.) Tank, on the other hand, can cook anything perfectly. (I'm very unwifey because I even screw up laundry. But that's besides the point.) Anyways, he gets all his things that he needs to make me a 5 star meal and we go up to pay. Cashier is a older woman.

She says, "Oh it looks like you are making your hubby a wonderful meal tonight!"

Me: "Um...I can't cook. He's making it."

Her: "Men don't cook....is he gay?"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my boyfriend is now gay because he can do something "only woman can do." Pfft. I gave her a stoney stare while Tank paid and walked out in a huff. (Tank didn't hear it because he was unloading the cart and doesn't pay attention to "girly talk." ) He laughed about it when I told him about it...says I was angry enough for two people.

Story 2: 

Tank wanted to buy a new car, so we went car shopping. Tank has two modes of transportation as is....a motorcycle and a truck. However, I refuse to even go near the motorcycle and the trucks door handle comes up my eyeballs. He doesn't mind lifting me up into the truck, but it's not very praticial with a skirt or children. Usually we take my car, but Tank's like no....I need car for you and kids...I drive! All macho like.

Another little note: Tank's driving scares the ever living snot out of me. He's been in a few car crashes (most not his fault, but whateves) and has many speeding tickets. He has gotten better though if I am in the car...he drives more sanely. (Burying my face in my hands while he drives probably annoyed him.) I, on the other hand, drive like a freaking grandma. I have only been in 1 car crash, which was not my fault at all (was sideswiped) and after my second speeding ticket and spending time in driving school while pregnant, I drive the speed limit (most of the time.)

So we went to look at cars. Not really sure why I had to be there...guess he wanted to make sure he didn't get an unacceptable car. (Like I really care...if it's a car, has 4 doors, and driveable, I'm all for it.) Well, first Tank starts looking at cars with no backseats. In which I said, "Tankie dear, where do you plan to put the kiddos? On the roof?" Car guy huffed and said, "Well, looks like your old lady isn't going to let you have some fun." Cue Karebear death stare. Least he had the guts to say sorry about that comment.

So, we look at some 4 door cars with backseats. For some reason, he was going to have me test drive it, guess he didn't want to crash a car that wasn't his or something. He tried the seat first to make sure he fit and could actually move his legs and such (he's a tall guy, makes sense) and then hopped into the back to let me test drive it. Well, the car was stick shift. I know how to drive stick.

Car guy, "Girls can't drive stick!" 

Me: "Um....some can...just like some guys can and cannot...."

Car guy: "No! Girls DO NOT DRIVE STICK."

We didn't even bother to test drive it and left the dealership. In the end we went to a different dealership with a MUCH nicer car guy. Tank ended up getting a car like mine, matching in every way expect the color. He says it's cause we both know how to drive that car. I say it's because he's silly and likes to match me sometimes. (I wear blue he wears blue, I wear red he wears red. I wear pink...he wears a lighter shade of red lol.) But he's happy now because he doesn't have to drive my car (it has girlishness all over it from the license plate to the steering wheel.

--<3Karebear

 

 

Karebear's LOL Experience at a Bridal Shop

Well, for the most part my life has been quiet. No police involved! Woohoo! (Unless you count the one in court, but I don't.) I don't really have much to say, just a few short thingamabobs. 

Interviewed for a different place earlier today. Answering phones. Not really sure what else is involved in that...but it's 10 hour shifts 4 days a week. All fine and dandy, yes? Er...kinda...it's second shift so I wouldn't get off until 2am. As nice as it sounds, finding a daycare at that hour...then getting my kid to school by 9am. Eesh. She's looking to see if first shift is available though, so fingers crossed. (Just want a different job so they don't say I am screwing the boss at my current work..>.>) 

Now for something funny! 

As I have mentioned before, Tank invited me to a charity ball/event/party of a lifetime. It's formal wear (black and white actually) so I have to find a dress for it. I already found some kick ass heels on sale that I grabbed up. (Most likely fall flat on my face in them.) Sooo just have to find a dress. I had about zero idea where to find a formal black dress (I refuse to wear white, no reason to look like I am getting married) until my mom suggested a bridal store. >.> 

Probably did the biggest no no in history of bridal stores and brought Tank with me. Woops...oh well. 

We were greeted by a short Asian lady. Looks at me and says, "When wedding?"

"Oh...no, we're not getting married," I said back.

She looks to Tank and said, "You no marry her? Get ring, propose! Marry her and make her babies!" And then she walked away.

Lady's granddaughter ended up coming down to help us, but Tank quickly left the store and went to the bar down the road to wait. I explained later to the older lady and granddaughter that we were going to a charity thing and that I just needed a black dress. Asian lady just kept muttering "you make pretty bride, come here when you marry."

I ended up finding a dress. Now practicing walking around in the shoes without falling on my face. Might be a comedy event with me there though.

--<3 Karebear

 

 

 

Retail Balls Award: Discount Rat Gets Told

Hi RHU guys and gals!

Tank has a story that he would like to share today. However, since he is a very slow typist, and gets easily frustrated with the keyboard, he is telling it to me and I am typing it up. He also isn't the best story teller (even if the events are true) in the world. I caught him telling my son a story to my son about a princess that needed to be saving, but half way through she somehow learned martial arts and the works and saved herself. Very confused son. Sooo I'll try to help him along the way!

So ladies and gents, for your viewing pleasure...er reading pleasure, I present to you...Tank! *cheers*

"So I guess Karebear has dubbed me as Tank here. Honestly, she calls me that in real life too. So, hi, I'm Tank and I have seen my fair share of customer hell.

She tells me I need to give some sort of backstory or ya'll will be lost. So here it is: my parents own their own little diner that my siblings and I have all worked in at one point. My dad's the cook, hell of a cook too, and my mom used to be the main waitress. But nowadays, with a bad hip, she just rings people out. My older sister and her husband tag team the waitressing/waitering part. They hire part time help for the rushes, but it's mostly family helping out when they can. Also, kids ages three and under are allowed to eat there free. (My mom adores small children and babies. Always bugging my siblings and me for grandkids.)

My mother is a short person, maybe 100 pounds. Wet. She can be the nicest person most of the time, but once you piss her off...good Lord I hope you can run. She is also a very religious person (we're all Lutherans), but not the type to shove it down anyone's throat. She reads her Bible in the diner during the slow times and if asked about it, she'll tell ya.

So anyways, my dad called me up because the cash register was acting out, and I'm pretty handy with a hammer and other tools. (HIs words, not mine.) I agreed to come in yesterday (Monday) around 10am. Figured Karebear could hold down the office, and if anything came up Papa could take care of it since he couldn't do much with his foot.

When I got there, there were only two families eating. One was the pastor and his family from my mother's church and the other was a family I never seen before. A mother and two smaller kids. I'd say no younger than five years old. (Same height as Karebear's son at least.) Oh...also, it's a smaller town, so there's only two churches there. It's either go to one of those two, or drive 20+ minutes for a different one. 

Working away on the cash register while my mom is talking about who knows what, when the family I don't know comes up to pay. Following takes place:

Customer: My children are 3 years old. (I find it very unlikely, but I guess they could be tall for their ages.)

Mom: Oh, ok!

Small child: Um...mom, we're 5!

At this point, my mom offers to give them half price on their meals cause she values their business and all that. Customer wasn't having it. She claims that she knows the owners of the diner, that she is here all the time, that her kids eat free all the time, and that she is a Christian that goes to the same church that my parents attend. All of this...false. Of course, my mom gets upset as the lady keeps going. (One thing Ma hates is liars!)

My mom doesn't yell, but has that "mom" voice. Gets all serious and business like, and you know you can't mess with her. As kids, my siblings and I knew when that voice appeared that we were in some big dodo.

Mom, with the "mom" voice: "First of all, I am the owner of this diner and I have never seen you in my life. Second, I have never seen you before in my life. Thirdly, if you went to that church why didn't you say hello to the pastor who was sitting not even 10 feet from you?"

Customer looked defeated, paid her bill in full, and left.

Anything for a discount right?"

--Tank (and Karebear too!! <3)

 

 

Gas Station Hell: Having Your Foot Run Over By a Teenage Custy

I just spent the day at the hospital.

Ugh.

Not for myself, or for my kids. Not even for Tank or my parents.

Instead for one of Tank's employees, Papa. Very long and tiring ordeal, but figured I must share it with you.

Tank decided to get a new desk because his was old and falling apart. One of his other employees had a sister who was looking to sell her old wooden desk, and offered it to Tank for a very nice asking price. She asked that he have it picked up today because her new one was coming tomorrow. However, Tank had some big important meeting to attend today so he asked me and Papa to go get it. I was only asked because, like the good boyfriend he is, put me on his insurance for his cars, and he is the only one with a pickup truck. So I was driving, Papa was doing the heavy lifting. (Lady had a boyfriend or husband who was willing to help get it onto the truck.)

Well, her house was over the state border, about a hour drive from our workplace. Tank gave me the cash for the desk, plus some gas and food money. So we stopped before we got the desk to fill up and get some drinks and munchies.

As we were filling up, we noticed a younger girl looking rather confused about how to get the gas into her car. New teenage driver, driving mommy or daddy's car. Though how she got through driver's ed without figuring out how to fill up a car, I don't know. Papa, being the sweetheart he is, offered to help her out by showing her.

Well, of course, the girl wasn't going to learn how to do it for her own, but decided to wait in the car. However, she was dumb enough that she thought it was instant or something....started the car while Papa was still trying to put the gas in her car.

She started to pull away and in the process RAN OVER HIS FOOT! >.>

She didn't even stop or anything, but peeled out of the gas station.

I hope her car ran out of gas and died. 

I come rushing over going OMG!!! It's not like he was wearing steel toe boots, rather normal gym shoes. So, it had to hurt. I never had my foot run over, but I can assume it's painful. (Plus it wasn't a normal size car, rather a mini van.) I help him to the car and then run inside and tell the employees. Luckily, Papa being an ex cop and all, he got her plate number. Police were called, etc etc. 

I call Tank telling him what happened, said I think Papa needs to see a doctor. Tank agrees and got the lady's brother (the other employee) to go pick up the desk. I drive Papa to the ER where he got poked and X-rayed, and a shiny new cast. Bitch broke his foot. (Small fracture, but still, bitch broke his foot!) Papa was in a good mood about it all though. If it were me, I would be livid. 

Tank met us at the hospital (he had my car.) He was offering to put it on the company's insurance, but Papa refused. Since he got the plate number, he states he's making the girl pay (or at least her family.) Tank also told me that it seems like I never have a dull moment in my life. No kidding. 

On the plus side, Tank asked me to be his date for an upcoming charity ball event type thingy.

So I get to go looking for a formal dress sometime in the next few weeks. My own Cinderella moment, though hopefully I get to keep both of my shoes and my "carriage" doesn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight. 

Hopefully next week I can go one week without having to talk to the police for something. I fear they are going to start knowing me by name soon!! 

Cheers!

--Karebear

 

 

Corner Store Hell: Drunken Custy

Oh. My. God.

Who the hell gets shit faced drunk on a Tuesday night?(Well, I suppose anyone can, but it's not something I normally see around here.) Then of course, Drunkie had to make a HUGE scene while completely out of his mind drunk. 

So...here's what happened....Brace yourself kiddies, you're in for a ride.

Tank and I are both sick. My parental units are taking care of my kiddies so I don't infect them with ugly germs. (It's only a bad stomach flu, but I don't want my son to miss school from it, nor do I ever have alot of energy whenever I am sick.) Somewhere along the time in my illness - whole 1 and half days of it so far - we figured Tank's sofa was more comfortable for me than my own bed. Think I got talked into it with the words "No left over ugly germs left at your house then for the kids" and "I know you won't die then if you stay here."

Well, we ran out of the magical chicken noodle soup, bottled water (Tank's tap water is nasty) and meds. We were both past the fevers and such. He seemed to have recovered more quickly and returned back to his normal Tankness. I, on the other hand, was still very tired and loopy. But I was also getting very antsy staying in the house all day long and wanted/needed some fresh air. I thought a 10 minute trip to the store and back would be fine.

We went to a little corner store that stays open late and is decently priced. I waited outside while Tank filled up his basket full of magical flu cureness stuff. I decided to stand outside to get some fresh air, and of course locked myself out of the car in the process. Tank took the keys with him, so I just sat on the hood of the car to wait.

That's when Drunkie and Shitfaced pulled up.

I couldn't tell which one was more drunk, but I could literally smell them from two parking spots away. One of them had to be driving drunk because there was no one else in the car. That made me a little nervous about driving back home. And of course my cellphone was locked in the car. I did take note of their license plates and told myself I would call it in when I got back in the car.

Shitfaced went into the store....Drunkie stayed out to try to hit me up. Cause you know, I guess drunken sex is life's answer. At first he was just all "Hey baby, wanna come home with me tonight?" etc. I just answered that I would only end up infecting him with something that might kill a normal human being. (Shh, I have super powers, don't tell!) But of course, no was not the answer he wanted, nor would he accept it. He literally sat next to me on the hood and tried kissing me! When I tried climbing off the hood to go inside by Tank he grabbed my arm to try to stop me...soooo I slapped his face. And since Drunkie was drunk...he fell off the side of the car and busted his lip.

That was my cue to run inside by Tank. Something I was trying to avoid because I didn't want to infect anything. (I made sure not to touch anything.) Told Tank what happened. Drunkie followed me in and tried to make a move to grab me again. The following took place:

Tank: I wouldn't do that if I were you. [meaning: don't touch her!]

Drunkie: Yeah? What you *hiccup* g-g-going to d-d-dooo about it? *hiccup*

*Drunkie made a move to try to grab for me again* [note: Tank and Drunkie were about the same size and height.]

Tank: I said DON"T. Last warning, dude. I suggest you leave her alone. Now.

Drunkie: Ooooh...soooo scared. *reaches to try to grab me, yet again*

POW! Tank had Drunkie on the floor so fast...it was like Superman speed fast. Sometime between then...and then...Drunkie realized he was no match for Tank and just decided to stay on the ground. Or maybe he had finally past out from all the booze in his system. I don't know...I found a bench and sat on my ass because I was feeling loopy from my illness and the added stress the whole thing caused.

The employees had already dialed 911 by now. Turns out one witnessed the exchange in the parking lot between me and Drunkie.Also turns out, Shitfaced was using the whole thing as a distraction to try to shoplift some beer. Only...being all shitfaced and everything, he wasn't very quiet about it.

Of course we had to stay to make statements and shit. I don't even remember what I said to the police. I don't even know if i made a statement, or if they just took Tanks and the employees. I just remember curling up on the bench to try to catch some z's. Lesson learned. Never leave the house while sick.

So, an hour after the normal 10 minutes this run should have taken, we were finally able to pay and leave. Tank had to carry me out the door. I was pretty stressed about the whole thing, thanking my lucky stars I didn't go alone. Tank tried to cheer me up some on the way home. "See, even while you're sick, you're still so beautiful that creepy drunk guys have to cause a scene just to get your attention. I'm one lucky son of a bitch," is what he said. Luckily, it was dark so he couldn't see my insane blush cause he called me beautiful.

...Oh yea, Tank and I started dating. This marked our 1 week of being official. (So high school of me, I know.) Hopefully 1 month and 1 year are a little more romantic than this.

As always, may your custies be more well behaved. ...And sober.

--Karebear <3

 

 

 

 

Phone Hell: Karebear's Custy Attempts To Get Family History

Howdy folks! 

So as I have said before, I work in the security type dealio area. Not really, I just answer phones and make appointments, buuuut I deal with the snotty folks who think they are the Earth's answer to everything. Since we deal with higher end security coverage, some of the people who call us are major name droppers. 

Caller: Do you know who I am?!

Me: Um...Mr. Snootypants.

Caller: I'm the major's wife's brother's wife's second cousin! 

Me: *in my head* Dafuq...

However, today...roles kind of got switched a little bit. 

A client called into the office to say she was being held up in traffic and would be a little late for her meeting with Tank. She's some art director at a gallery in a town my grandparent's just so happened to live in. My grandmother was a locally famous artist and my grandfather was a huge donator to just about every charity in the area. Let's face it, my grandparents were stinking rich. 

While answering this lady's call, for some ungodly reason I said my last name. It was 5 hours into my shift, I was tired after being up half the night with a teething baby. I was on autopilot. After she states the reason of her calling and before I had the chance to say "Thank you, I'll let Tank know" we had this little convo.

Her: Wait, why does [last name] sound familar? Any relation to [grandparent's first names]?

Me: Uh...yeah, they were my grandparents. 

Her: Oh my gosh!! How is your grandmother?! I haven't talked to her in ages! Is she still making masterpieces?

Me: Um...she passed away when I was 3 or 4 years old. (Note: I'm 25 now, so this was 20 years ago!)

Her: Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! How inappropriate of me....how did she go?

Extremely uncomfortable at this point in time...

Me: She had cancer most of her life....

Her: Oh gosh. I didn't know. Well what about your grandfather? I haven't seen a check from him in a long time. 

In my head I am thinking, you greedy bitch. 

But, I say: He died when I was a junior in high school, so about 2004. 

At this point, Tank and the other office lady are giving me weird looks. I just shrugged to them.

Her: Wow...yikes. I am very out of the loop, aren't I? (No shit lady.) Well, what about your father? Surely he is still alive! You know, he was my first love. I was actually pregnant because of him! But I miscarried and we ended it shortly after that. So, how is he?! 

Me: *sigh* I haven't spoken to him in nearly 6 years now. I couldn't tell you if he were dead or alive, but I haven't heard anything from other family members, so I am assuming he is still alive...

Her: Well, aren't you a barrel of fucking sunshine! Just tell Tank I will be there in about 20 minutes; traffic is clearing up now. 

Me: Will do.

I told Tank about the reason she was calling and then filled him in on the other half of the convo he didn't hear. When the lady arrived, I hid in the backroom/breakroom because she had already upset me enough. I mean, it's always nice to be reminded of my estranged father and ever loving grandparents who I can't talk to anymore. And when she left I pretended to be busy on the phone so I wouldn't have to look or deal with her. 

People these days. Ugh!

--Karebear

 

 

Kindergarten Hell: Mom Rants About Lack of Supervision

From Karebear:

I have come to vent a little bit to you all. It's not about retail persay, but still been treated like crap over the whole thing. And there is some sort of "customer" interaction, even though I am not buying anything. 

So what has me all flustered and frustrated?

My son's school. He just started kindergarten, and since for pre-school he went to the daycare that did half day preschool other half daycare, this is my first time dealing with a public school as a parent. As a child, I went to a different public school in a different town, so this is my first time dealing with this town's public school system. 

My issue is with the way the kids are brought to school and before they go into their classrooms. Parents aren't allowed into the building most of the time, so we are forced to bring our children to line up outside. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for several reasons. 

There is  no adult supervision. Sure, some parents, like myself, may stay until the kids have gone in, but what little kid in their right mind is going to listen to a stranger? Kids start lining up around 8:40 and are forced to stay outside, with zero shade, until 9:05. And that's if their teachers come out right away to collect them. Usually about 3-5 parents there and the school is K-5th grade, with multiple classes of each grade. 24 students in my son's class alone. It's very overwhelming to make sure no one is killing anyone...and is that really my responsibility? 

I have seen basketballs thrown at other kids' heads. Pebbles, rocks, SCISSORS. I have tried stopping as much as I can, but seriously, some of these kids are pretty big and mean. I get alot of "You're not my mom or teacher, so shove off." I have tried talking to teachers about it, and just get the reply they will take care of it, and the next day they are at it again. 

Not only do they throw things, but they hit, punch, and shove each other. My son's line is right in between a 2nd grade and a 3rd grade class. So all these kids are looming over my son, who is kind of tall for his age, but not by much. I turned around once to pick up the baby's blanket, and when I turned back around my son had a bloody lip. Turns out the hit wasn't directed for him, but he got in the cross fire and was the one that ended up hurt. Talked to the teacher, but because my son couldn't point out which kid did it for sure, nothing was done. And still no teacher supervision! 

I have tried talking to the school principal, but each time I get a lame, half ass excuse like "He isn't in yet today." I have tried 3 different times, and school has only been in session since 8/20. My mom has told me to go higher up in the school board, but the thing is...the school district hasn't released any information on who is who and their contact details. I try calling the main office and get told to talk to the principal of the school. It's like...what am I suppose to do? Get the media involved? Wait for a kid to get seriously injured or run off and get lost? (Nearly happened yesterday with one of my son's classmates, but I chased him down and returned him to the line.)

Ugh.

Hasn't rained yet while they are all standing out there, thankfully. Though I am sure the next day half the kids will be out sick cause of it. And soooo looking forward to winter with all the snow. Maybe I will move before then and switch schools...

--Karebear

 

 

Retail Slaves As Custys: Karebear Encounters Rude Hellmart Cashier

Karebear here, with a tale that has me shaking! Still! 

Today I was blessed with having no children for a few hours, and was off work! My mother took them to a water park while I had a court thing to go to, and my court finished way before I was due to pick them up. So I did some hardcore food shopping since I could use the whole cart and not place food around kids! 

Now, before I dive into the tale, I have to admit (I have before on the site in some comment) that I do in fact get food stamps. Basically after rent and all my bills (ie: lights, insurance, internet, and gas money) I simply do not have enough left over for enough food to feed a family of 3. (Should say family of 10 the way my kids tear through food in a day, but whatever, they are growing.) I do not spend lots of money on myself, my cellphone is one of those super old unbreakable Nokia phones, I don't even own a purse, and my nails are always broken and uneven. Only reason I have a decent car is because when my mother bought a new one, she gave me her old one (that she barely drove.) 

So I went to my local Hellmart, and decided to stock up on food. I got two bags of the bulk size chicken, bulk size hamburger pattys, and a bunch of other bulk size items. Basically, if it came in bulk size, I got it. And if there wasn't bulk sizes, I got 3-5 of the same item. I probably got enough for a weeks worth of breakfast and two weeks worth of lunch and dinners. I only got one thing of soda for myself, and two things of juice for the kids. I also picked out two bags of candy - one was a bag of suckers for my son to have for doing his chores or his little "homework" and the other was a bag of chocolate for myself, cause, well it's fucking chocolate! I also got some cookie making stuff for a fundraiser I am helping out with. (Not that I can bake, but I got friends who are willing to help.) So all in all, I did pretty good. 

I got up to the cashier and I guess she must have seen my Link card. Not that I was hiding it or anything, since I was wearing a nicer suit/pant set that had no pockets and carry no purse, I stuffed it in my phone case. Cashier started giving me some attitude about it all, but hey whatever, not the first time I was treated like shit because I received help from the government. 

She rang up all the meat and other lunch/dinner goods without saying anything, but when she got the bags of candy, soda, and cookie making mix she said, "I'm not ringing these up for you."

Me: *confused* uh...what?

Cashier: There is no need for you to buy this junk food while using the Link program. Besides, it's for your own health, sweetheart. *looks me up and down - again, I am fat or something (I was waaaay skinnier than her, I wear a size 11 in juniors for pete's sake!!)* 

Me: Well, I have never had a problem before buying those items, and its only 4 things compared to my zallion other things. 

Cashier: Oh well, my tax money isn't paying for your fatass needs. 

My jaw about hit the floor. She actually put the items in her return bin and totalled me out on the other items. Instead of arguing wit her, I paid for my shit, and went to customer service and told them what happened. Girl behind the desk went to the register I was at and got my items for me and let me pay there. She also called up a manager and I left a complaint. Can only hope they do something about it. 

I have gotten food stamps for over a year or so now, and this is the first time I was ever denied junk food. I don't buy alot of it, compared to other people. I get roughly around $400 each month, and set aside about $40 for junky food, another 20-30 for random baby food (not including formula) and every Februrary, March, November and December I buy a super cheap cake for kids' and my parent's birthdays.I don't even buy myself a cake, though it would be in one of those same months. If I have some left over at the end of the month, I'll buy canned goods or whatever for food banks. (Or donate what I got left in my pantry because you know, there are times when it looks so good on the shelf, but then never make it.) 

So...have any of ya'll ever experienced something like this?

It was...frustrating!

--Karebear

Karebear's Update On Lawsuit and New Job

Heya, it's Karebear. Just wanted to give a little update on whats happening. 

1. My lawsuit against my former employer has been filed. Currently playing the waiting game to see when it's going to court. 

From what I heard from former coworkers, the assistant manager and store manager were both fired. One of the higher ups in the company contacted my lawyer to try to offer an apology to me (and ask if we were still following through with the lawsuit - like DUH you shithead, of course we are.). My lawyer, being the badass he is, said, "While Karebear accepts and appreciates the apology, we are still going through the lawsuit. There is no way to talk her out of it, please do not try."

2. I moved out of Tank's apartment. My landlord had an open unit a few blocks from Tank, and it's really nice. I am higher up (2nd floor) so breaking in isn't that easy. I guess if you're Spiderman or something it's possible, but I highly doubt I have anything he would want. It's gated and has a pretty sturdy front door lock. 

And my landlord let me get a dog. So, went to our local animal shelter, and I picked a pretty black fluffball (no idea what breed she is, but her tongue is freaking black, and I thought that was awesome. Yeah, I get giddy over the little things). She's medium size, but she was really friendly when we first saw her. My baby pulled her tail while we were visiting the dog, and she didn't even growl at the baby. We decided to name her Nyx, mainly cause the baby figured out how to say it so quickly. I have had her for about a week now, and already she is over protective of the kids. If the baby is sleeping in her crib, Nyx is curled up next to the crib, or on my son's bed, waking up here and there to check on the baby. 

3. My new job is awesome! Tank and a few of his friends basically started up their own business. He runs a small security business. Basically, if you are running an event or hosting some fabulous rich type party, and need some security dudes, we're the peeps to call. My job is to basically answer phone calls and set up meetings with clients and Tank. 

I haven't met all the guys that work with Tank, since most of them are on call when needed type basis. To be honest, I don't even know how many guys there are really since I don't have to interact with them. Unless they call and want to be patched through to Tank, but the majority of them probably have Tank's business cell number. 

There are 3 that I have seen on a regular basis (in my short time there so far.) At first I was a little iffy about working with so many guys after the whole Pet thing...but they are really nice. Two of them are in committed relationships, one married, second due to be married come winter. Third guy, who I call Pops (he told me too, because I guess EVERYONE does, though I haven't heard anyone else use that name for him) is old enough to be my father. He is an ex-cop and a widower. All 3 of these guys are like the 3 Stooges. They crack me up most of the day. 

There is another girl that works there, she basically takes control of the finances. I get the impression she doesn't like me, but she isn't downright rude or anything to me. We basically say our hellos and goodbyes and go about our business and don't say much of anything else. She is nice enough to help me with some noobie questions though. Perhaps she just needs time to warm up to me or decide I am not really sleeping with the boss or something. 

I live near a pretty ritzy area, where some basketball/football/other sports peoples live. (I couldn't tell you who or what they do, just know that So and So from Team Badass lives down Such and Such street with a rather confused "who the fuck is this" look on my face.) So most of the clients are some ritzy peoples or their managers or some event planner or whatever. Buuut most of them seem like normal human beings. Most of them have been clients of Tank's for a while now, so they probably realize I am totally new. My first day there I accidentally hung up on a guy rather than putting him on hold, and when he called back I was prepared to be cussed out. But he actually was really nice about it and even joked about it. 

I only had one problem with a lady calling (so far.) She called while Tank was out of the office because one of his guys' car broke down and needed a lift. She wanted to talk to Tank about some last minute things for her uber party/event of the fucking lifetime. When I told her he was out and that I could have him call her back within the hour, she flipped. I didn't really know what to do or how to handle it, not that she would have let me get a word in anyways, but Pops saw my deer in the headlights look. He took the phone call, and she was once again a happy person. Might of been cause Pops has a George Clooney type voice that I have seen my other female coworker drool over though. 

4. Pet is still in jail! 

Anyways, I'll try to post more about the lawsuit when it unfolds more. Hope you all had a safe holiday (and those not in the US, hope you had a pleasant week.)

--<3 Karebear