I wouldn't even believe this one if it hadn't happened to me. Pull up a chair, grab some popcorn and settle in - this is gonna be a great wall of text.
Let me take you back; back to a time when I was naive and I believed that if I gave someone (everyone) a fair chance they would all work out to be great employees. This is the story of how that changed, and one employee who changed me forever.
Several months ago I took over a failing restaurant as they were coming out the other side of a food safety fiasco. The old GM was gone, anyone she had hired was either worthless or had been beaten into complacence. I came in with fingernails that shined like justice and a machete that cut through red tape. Not soon after the people that sucked were gone and I was left with a minuscule staff. I had some hiring to do.
Since I believed that with enough work anyone could become a great employee I hired someone that, in retrospect, shouldn't have made it past the two minute mark in his interview. Let's call him Touchy Feely Psycho.
Touchy Feely Psycho was (surprise) very touchy-feely. He had no problem doling out hugs and violating personal spaces (with me). The first day the health inspector came back for a return visit to make sure that things were going according to code. He begins trying to point out things to the health inspector that he thinks were wrong which were actually right. This is his first day.
On his second day I was swamped trying to train two other new hires at once, so I asked my Area Manager to go over some extra stuff with him (hope springs eternal). He was in the back giving him a store tour when all of a sudden I hear, "No, that's the tomato slicer. This is going to take forever if you keep interrupting me." Strike 2.
In the interest of ending the back story and getting to the current craziness, he ended up being let go for No Call No show. This was the day after he got into a heated argument. With his girlfriend. In the store. At lunch.
About two weeks after his final paycheck is deposited, he calls back saying that he is pretty sure that we owe him "About $60" for extra hours after the last pay period. He calls to tell me this during the middle of lunch, and doesn't seem to understand that I don't have attendance data for the last month memorized or available at that immediate second.
He starts cussing me out over the phone, and I hang up on him.
Next day we get notification that he filed a corporate complaint. Wonderful.
Since this is now my Area Manager's problem, he looks up everything and proves to corporate that we owe him nothing besides what was deposited on his last check. Area Manager talks with him, gets it resolved and corporate is happy too.
Situation resolved? I promised a wall of text people. This is just a brick so far.
Two Crazies Aren't Better Than One
Friday, he calls back again. Given his impeccable sense of timing he calls at noon again. I'm not the one who originally takes the call though.
One of my employees has the same name as the second part of name of my establishment. He answers the phone - unaware of the depth of crazy on the other end of the phone.
After he is talking to the "customer" for several minutes I hear him say, "I don't know how to be any more clear. My name is Jon."
Thinking it's odd for him to be so brusque with a customer, I ask him what the deal is. All I get is, "Here. You deal with him."
Me: "Touchy Feely Psycho we have had this discussion and we owe you nothing. If you would like to complain, call corporate or the owners as I am not responsible for this."
Touchy Feely Psycho becomes more and more aggressive on the phone with names and then threatens to hurt me. I then hang up the phone.
Two seconds later the phone rings again from a different number and I pick up. Touchy Feely Psycho's girlfriend is on the phone. This is that conversation.
Touchy Feely Psycho's Girlfriend: Hello I would like to speak to the manager.
Me: That's me what can I do for you?
Touchy Feely Psycho's Girlfriend: Well, I'm not going to talk to you about Touchy Feely Psycho's money that you obviously owe him....but I used to be a manager, and...
At this point I cut her off.
Me: Well if you used to be a manager then you know that I am not going to discuss former employees with you. Please do not call here again.
I hang up again. The phone begins ringing and my employee picks it up and it is Touchy Feely Psycho's Girlfriend she starts screaming and my employee (bless his soul) is holding the phone up and away so we can all hear her.
Touchy Feely Psycho's Girlfriend: Well I don't have a job right now but if I was looking for one I certainly wouldn't go there and you should get out now; that place is going down! Your manager is a bitch and I don't like her tone.
I tell everyone to stop laughing and get back to work. (As I am still chuckling) She calls back five more times from different numbers and finally I tell them if she calls again to inform her I am calling the police.
She calls again.
And YES I DID call the police.
The officer arrives and I explain what is happening. He takes my statement and we try calling back the numbers that have been calling and they are all disconnected but the one I have from his app. The officer calls and leaves a message to not call anymore and I give him all Touchy Feely Psycho's info... Including the statements from corporate saying that the matter was resolved. The officer leaves his card and tells us to call if he doesn't stop harassing us.
He is calling to file a complaint about the fact that I called the cops on him.
I call dispatch to let them know, and the dispatch lady answers and I explain what the officer told me.
Before I even tell her that he called yet again, she says, "He didn't... no one is that stupid... the officer just left his place! He didn't..."
Me: Yep... Yes... He did....
Let me tell you, sometimes you don't have to SEE the face palm to know it's happening.
So the officer comes back and records it. Then calls him and tells Touchy Feely Psycho that if he calls, drives by, or even looks at the store, he will be in violation and the officer will be more than happy to accompany his dumb ass to jail.
This concludes our story for now.