Retail Hell Underground

Sale Name Translations

There are plenty of lame sale names. We did some investigating and found the real translations of famous sale names:

The White Sale = Metallic Rust Sale

Early Bird Sale = Hungry Vulture Sale

12 Hour Sale = 12 Minute Sale

Last Call Sale = Let's Get Drunk Sale

Parking Lot Sale = Skid Row Sale

Half Yearly Sale = Half Scary Sale

One Day Sale = One Year Sale

Sale Pre Season Sale = Pre Ejaculation Sale

The Private Sale = The Prick Sale

Employee Discount Sale = Employee Financial Disaster

Sale Semi -Annual Warehouse Sale = Semi-Nightly Whorehouse

Sale Clearance Sale = Landfill Sale

Friends and Family Sale = Freaks and Fools Sale

Blow Out Sale = Blow Me Sale

Big Brown Bag Sale = Big Bag of Shit Sale

Mutilated Holiday Shopping Bag

How we all feel right now...

Mutilated Holiday Shopping Bag

Jason calls this one "Frosty's Magical Second Carrot." Yes, Jason is in need of more meds, but doing shopping bag collages keeps him out of trouble and his hands busy - as long as they are not getting burned by hot glue from the glue gun.

Mutilated Holiday Shopping Bag

Another mutilated shopping bag masterpiece from Jason. He calls it Santa's Wet Dream Christmas.

Abercrombie = Aberzombie Retail Hell