Retail Hell Underground

Burger Bitch: Coworker Sexting Custys and A Parade of Dumbasses

Oh guys, you won’t fucking believe the story I have for you this time.

Since it’s so fucking ridiculous and is making me so mad that I could very well piss wasabi, I’m going to cut right to it.

Recently, my manager has started putting me on after noon shifts because I mentioned that I was getting crazy migraines from lack of sleep. And since she’s so awesome, she took me aside one day and said “You’re my one of two amazing workers, so I don’t want you to leave, so if you don’t mind, I’ll put you on some afternoon shifts.” Which I of course didn’t mind because I got to sleep in and finally have some time to get some shit done.

Well, I realized very quickly that the customers are 500x more idiotic during the afternoon shift, but more importantly, that the tips suck. Now, I’ve mentioned before that I live off of my tips and my paycheck goes straight to the bank and I don’t touch it. That way I can save up for school (Whenever I decide what I actually want to do with my life, y’know) and a car very easily.

When I work in the mornings, I generally walk home with anywhere from $15-30 per day, however the few times I’ve worked the afternoon shifts, I’ve literally went home with less than $3. But what bugged me is I’ve seen the tips that the other girl who works afternoons walks home with, and they’re always upwards of $25. Not to sound arrogant at all, but this girl is unpleasant, impolite and dumber than a box of toenails. When I work, I’m polite and try to make small talk with the customers.

I really started to wonder how she was walking home with an assload of tips and I was getting dick all. Well, I knew that she’s gotten written up twice for taking her apron off and unbuttoning her shirt, so I figured “Maybe I need bigger tits to get tips, but that’s not happening.”

But then, my coworker told me, in a giggling fit of hysteria that Tips McGee was caught by our other coworker SEXTING CUSTOMERS.

WHAT?

Yeah. Apparently she’s been giving out her number to customers and sexting them up and she was BRAGGING about it.  Which is fucking awesome, because I never realized that I work in a coffee house/brothel. So now all I have to do is sext in order to get tips, so I’m a bit fucking pissed about that. Plus, just the other night, three customers came in and asked if Slutty McTroll was working.  

–Shudder-

*    *    *    *

And now for the Darwin Award Winning Customers!

The thing that’s really gotten on my nerves as of late is just the complete and total lack of any common sense. The first customer I had the other afternoon was a man and his teenage son in DT, they ordered a large double double and a large double double with sweetener. So on one lid I wrote a “S” and on the other “Sw.” You’d think that’d be pretty straight forward, right? Wrong.

Old Man: “Which one has sugar and which one has sweetener? They’re not marked.”

Me: “Yes, they are. The “S” is sugar and the “Sw” is sweetener.”

Old Man: “Well, that’s confusing, they could easily be confused.”

Even his son was shaking his head at him. Then, not an hour later, a man came into the store, looked around and asked “Do you serve coffee?”

I honestly thought he was joking, so I chuckled, but he just gave me the stink eye. No, fuckbone, the 3 coffee machines and all the cups and bags of coffee lying around actually means that we serve stem cells.

He ordered an extra large regular and a medium hot chocolate. Note that these sizes differ greatly. I prepare them, put them in a tray and give them to the dipshit dude.

Dipshit: “Which one is which?”

Me: “.. Sorry?”

Dipshit: “Which one is which? I ordered an extra-large regular and a medium hot chocolate, right? So which one is which?”

Me: -Trying VERY hard not to sound sarcastic- “The extra-large is the one in the bigger cup..”

*    *    *    *

Then came the idiot bitch and all of her spare fucking change. A woman came through DT and ordered an Extra Large French Vanilla and cookie, since there was another customer waiting at the counter, I got them together quickly and told the woman in DT her total. That’s when she hands me an entire fucking sandwich bag of pennies and nickels and says “I’m too busy to count it, so if you could just count that to make sure I have enough, that’d be great.” YEAH. FUCKING SURE. NOT LIKE I HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS OR ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO FUCKING DO, YOU DUMB BITCH.

I try to count it as quickly as possible and she only has about $1.20 and the total is $3.45.

Me: “You only have $1.20 here.”

Bitch: “Ok, give me a few minutes to get more change out of my bag.”

I figure this would be a decent enough chance to take the customer’s order who has been waiting patiently at the counter. I turn and say “Hey there, what can I get you?” when the bitch in DT shouts “HEY WAIT YOU HAVE TO COUNT MY CHANGE.”

Me: “Do you have the change ready yet?”

Bitch: “No!”

Me: “Then I’m going to take this customer’s order while you get your change.”

Bitch: “No! You have to count my change!”

Luckily the girl who was working on the gas station side came over and took the other customers order. All in all, it took over TEN MINUTES for this lazy fucking cow to get out enough change to pay for her fucking order, and it was almost all in pennies. 2.75$ in pennies, if I remember correctly.

I need to start drinking at work.

--Burger Bitch

 

Bad Custys, N.A.T.s, and Hellspawn Beware! Devil Cat is Watching

 

 ...and she will kick your ass!

 

 

 

One Dumbass N.A.T.'s Chaotic Escape Attempt

Hello, everyone. Tis I, Book Wench, back again to share more tales of Wastings. 

It's been a while since I last wrote in, for which I apologize. I've been dealing with a nasty wisdom tooth infection and all of the family arguments resulting from that, and combined with the utter soul-sucking grind of work, I haven't really had the energy to do more than go to work, come home, and fall asleep on the couch listening to Jon Stewart. (Note: nodding off to the Daily Show, coupled with a liberal dose of hydrocodone, results in very peculiar dreams. Try this at home!) However, we had a little incident a few days back which I really must share. An attempted robbery... with a side of carjacking!

Because our general manager has the short-term memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer's, problems that we bring to his attention are almost never addressed. He's very apologetic about it, and he will change things (poor scheduling, etc) if we nag him enough, but when it comes to anything that involves having to talk to corporate his powers of recall vanish almost entirely.

As a result, our security cameras have been in shambles for over a year, with no word from the head honchos as to when/if they will be replaced. We know this, the NATs know this, and we know that they know it. 

Naturally, one of the broken cameras is located directly over an area of highly valuable merchandise! And naturally, we are so short-handed that the lone associate assigned to this department  (which includes roughly a third of the store) can't spend all their time in that one corner of Highly Valuable Shit, even if they wanted to. We lose hundreds of dollars of merchandise every single month from this area, because GM doesn't have the balls to talk to corporate and get us another gorram camera. 

Last Friday, as I was tidying up the book department toward the end of my shift, I heard a ruckus coming from the front end. Walking up to the registers to see what was going on, I beheld half a dozen cops, an extremely angry Curmudgeon, and a woman holding an ice pack to the back of her head.

The story, as it fell out, was this:

Our awesome video manager, K-Pax, had noticed a skeevy-looking fellow circling around our corner of Highly Valuable Shit. K-Pax finds a reason to loiter in the same area, keeping an eye on him, but gets called away to assist a customer. The minute K-Pax leaves, skeevy guy pulls out an empty grocery bag, jimmies open the case, and fills his bag with HVS. He then attempts to leave the store, and here's where things got weird. 

We have three doors in our store. One opens up onto the mall, and by that point in the evening is closed and locked. One is the entrance, and only works as an entrance; consequently it is not equipped with any theft detectors. The third door can only be reached by passing by the front registers, and thus passing through a detector; it too only works one way. You can leave by it, but you can't come in.

Our would-be NAT takes off running for the entrance, only to smack face-first into the door and knock himself over.

He gets up and runs around through the registers, setting off the theft alarm, and drawing the attention both of the girl at the register and of K-Pax, who immediately recognizes him and vaults the goddamn counter in order to chase him. 

NAT gets outside, bumps into Curmudgeon returning from her dinner break, drops his bag of HVS and takes off across the parking lot, K-Pax in full pursuit.

Register Girl (she'll get a nickname if she survives a month here) tells Curmudgeon what's going on and Curmudgeon calls the cops, and all the while K-Pax is chasing after this NAT.

The NAT jumps into the backseat of a completely random car and starts smacking the driver on the back of the head, telling her "DRIVE, BITCH! DRIVE! JUST FUCKING DRIVE!"

At which point K-Pax shows up, drags the NAT out of the car, and tries to march him back to the store.

NAT tries to punch his way out, succeeds, and vanishes into the bushes across the street. K-Pax brings the driver inside, gets her an ice pack, and convinces her to file a police report. 

The best part?

When Curmudgeon opened the bag, it turned out that our NAT had inadvertently taken only used things from our case of HVS. He tried to rob our store and carjack a random stranger, for a total cash value of maybe $150.

The day after, of course, we all got a stern talking-to by the GM about how we must never, ever accost a customer, even if it is obvious that person is stealing from us... maybe we should just disable all the damn cameras, then, if we're going to let merchandise just walk out the door!

We have the dubious distinction of being the worst Wastings in terms of theft-related losses out of the entire chain, and we can't do anything to fix it. 

I need to find a job that lets me yell at people for being stupid, RHU.

--Book Wench

 

Closing Time Nightmares In Grocery Hell

From Then Let Them Eat Crack:

Hello RHU, its been a little while since I sent in a rant.  

Did I fall asleep for a second and someone shoved the red pill up my ass when I wasn't looking and tripped me down the damned rabbit hole?  

I was doing my normal closing duties, and the girl running the check-yourself-out-demon-robot-baby-skynet machine had to pee (for about the tenth freaking time that night) so I go down to run the machine while she runs to potty.  

She is finishing an order in which some of the rednecks my town is famous for were buying...you guessed it, booze.  

I noticed the machine full of bottles of Day-go-better and one item still in the cart.  I wondered to myself if they had already scanned it but dismissed it.  

After they left I looked at their receipt.  They payed for $70 worth of liquor and then stole a $2 freaking pack of Solo Cups!  

Tonight while I was attending the machines again a lovely custy comes to the office and throws, literally throws, a bunch of fives at our floor supervisor (who politely informs them that I will return shortly and asks to help them) and says "I wan't some Fucking 20's, that piece of shit machine gave me all 5's."  

I've worked in Hell for over ten years, I shouldn't be able to be shocked by people but I'm continually surprised by stupidity.  

As always, if they have no jobs,

--Then Let Them Eat Crack.

Australia McDonalds Testing DNA Spraying Above the Doors To Catch Thieves

Hmmm...I wonder if Hellmart and The Big Fancy will buy into this technology. Any RHUer Aussies heard about this or seen it in action?

Here's the story from HuffPo and an animated example of the DNA Spray at work:

Thinking about stealing some hamburgers? You might want to think again.

Select McDonald's stores in Australia are now using a special invisible spray that douses the hamburglars as they exit certain establishments, the Daily Telegraph reports.

McDonald's decided to test out the system in certain restaurants after a store in Sydney had two robberies in one week. If it deems the technology successful in theft prevention, the company may install the system in other stores.

Although the spray isn't visible to the naked eye, police can see the DNA markings with the aid of a blacklight. The SelectaDNA product stays on clothes for about six months and on skin for up to two weeks.

The spray system has already been used in several McDonald's stores across Britain and Europe, and at least one store in the Netherlands has programmed the spray to go off when triggered by a panic alarm, according to the Telegraph. Each spray has a special DNA sequence specific to the store where the system is installed.

And bad news for thieves who think they can wash off the incriminating evidence: The spray won't come off their skin, no matter how hard they scrub, the Sydney Morning Herald reports.

As a the writer for The Escapist Magazine puts it: "Basically, if you get caught in this stuff, you're screwed."

McDonald's stores aren't the first establishments to use the technology.

Gizmodo Australia notes that several jewelry stores have been using the spray for months. Additionally, the DNA security systems have been implemented at several banks across Europe and New Zealand.

The spray, which was launched in 2008, is non-toxic and non-allergenic.

A 2010 article by the New York Times looked at the effects of the DNA spray system in a Rotterdam McDonald's in the Netherlands. Police told the Times the technology had not resulted in any arrests, but they did suggest the system's warning signs -- placed on doors around the stores -- acted as a deterrent.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

 

 

 

Strange Thievery: N.A.T.'s Steal Hotel Bathroom Signs

Hi, RHU. Bellboy here.

Today I have a story that proves that people really will steal anything, given the chance.

About two weeks ago, I was on my break and heading to the bathroom in our store. I passed the women's bathroom and did a double-take.

The sign on the women's bathroom door was gone, and all that was left were a few pieces of whatever we'd used to adhere the sign to the door.

Later when I asked my managers if they'd taken it down to replace it or fix it, they told me they hadn't.

No, somebody had stolen it!

Now a few days ago, I was talking to coworker "K" about how I had no idea why somebody would even steal a bathroom sign.

He informed me that, since then, two more had been stolen. I went to look, and he was correct: Both of the women's bathroom signs had been stolen, as well as the men's sign that hung on the door.

Again, our managers confirmed that custys had indeed taken the signs.

What would those NATs even plan to do with the signs, anyway?

What's the weirdest thing you've heard of someone stealing, RHU?

--BB

 

 

Snowfall Piggy Shopper Drinks Up Energy Then Rejects Breakfast

From Hallmark Slave: Found this while shopping on the eve of the first snowfall in over a year. The cereal and Swiss Miss are easily-explained (if incredibly rude) changes of mind, but what kind of chutzpah does it take to stroll through a store drinking straight from the can?

 

Shoplifter Outsmarts Security Cameras At Electronics Store

 

 

Brave Wheelchair Custy Comes To the Aid of Cashier Being Attacked

 

 

Waffle House Robbery With a Twist

From Huff Po:

Theft takes a slice out of the bottom line of virtually every restaurant. Waiters and cooks munch on little handfuls of french fries and give free drinks to their friends all the time. But last month, the Waffle House in Richburg, South Carolina fell victim to a far more insidious form of employee theft -- one closer to a straight-to-TV sequel to Inside Man than to a pitcher of beer on the house.

At first, it looked like a normal robbery. On December 12th, a pair of the restaurant's employees called the local police to report a robbery. Summer Alexander and Carrie Jo McWaters told the deputies that an unknown man took out a gun and asked for all the money in the Waffle House cash register, so they complied.

The police did some digging and identified the robber as 21-year-old Brandon Connor. Here's where things get weird. When the police did more digging, they figured out that Connor was actually a friend of Alexander and McWaters. Further investigation indicated that the entire robbery was a sham -- that Alexander and McWaters had conspired with their friend to make it seem as if a robbery had occurred. The three later split the monetary winnings of the robbery.

Alexander and McWaters were arrested on Monday for their alleged participation in a conspiracy to commit armed robbery, and Connor was charged with armed robbery. The bail for each was set at $30,000.

Waffle House is so great at responding to natural disasters that FEMA sometimes looks to the breakfast-centric fast food chain for guidance. But this case provides yet more evidence of the idea that it still has some issues dealing with people.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

Nasty Ass Thief Captured Shoving Merchandise Up Her Skirt

 

From Hiedi: Friend sent this to me.  Told me that the people seen in the video did get busted by the store and cops were called.  They are due in court sometime this week.

 

Nutcracker Fire Department Witnesses Glue Stick Theft

They refused to chase the N.A.T. however because Captain Cracker said it's the Nutcracker Police Department's responsibility because they have wodden guns. From Amelia.

Drive-Thru Robber Gets Told: Barista Fights Back and Clobbers Him With Coffee Pot

PITTSBURGH -- Police say a worker at a drive-thru coffee shop near Pittsburgh smashed a glass pot over the head of a man who tried to climb through the window to rob the business.

Police in Ross Township have continued to look for the man who tried to rob the Island Bean coffee shop in Ross Township, north of the city. They also say the encounter was caught on surveillance video.

Police say workers at first fought back by throwing towels at the man Wednesday morning. When that didn't work, one worker hit him in the head with the pot.

Authorities believe the man sped away in a stolen car.

The workers were unhurt, and police are still investigating.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

 

Here's the lastest juicy details:

 

 

Tis The Season To Be Scammy: Grocery Custy Attempts Return Fraud With EBT Card

A quick tale from the hallowed halls of retail...

A customer came in this afternoon, about 2:40, with two expensive pork loins.  She said that her husband bought them, and they were the wrong things.  A receipt?  Why no, I don't have a receipt!  The first time, the clerk at the desk (fellow RHUer Then Let Them Eat Crack) said nope, sorry, no receipt. 

She left and came back about 50 minutes later, and another clerk was at the desk.  TLTEC (he really needs a shorter handle, but whatever) had informed new clerk and myself about the woman just in case she came back.  Therefore new clerk calls me.

"Yeah my husband bought these and they were the wrong thing."

"Oh yeah?  When did he get them?"

"This morning.  He works third shift and they were in the refrigerator when I got up."

"Ok, let me check something."  I went to get an RF gun.  For those who don't know, the RF gun has a handy little feature that tells you how many of an item has been sold in previous days.  I scanned one of the loins, and lo and behold, there was a big fat zero in today's column.

"Well, we haven't sold any today."

"It might have been late yesterday..."

How many did we sell yesterday?  Again, none. 

"No ma'am, we haven't sold any of these for the past two days."  These items are store brand, and the next closest stores are 30 minutes away, so at this point I'm not doubting that they came from here, but I am certain that they weren't bought here.

"So I'm just stuck with them?"  - points at RF - "That's wrong!", she says, as she exits stage right.  My RF is never wrong... is it?

My confidence in the RF was shaken about a half hour later when desk clerk pages me to say that she came back with a receipt, from about 2:00.  Ok, so, glitch in the system?  If they were bought at 2 am they should have showed up...  But wait!  She didn't say AM.  I called and asked again what time it was.  They were purchased at 2:29 PM.  Ten minutes before she showed up at the desk the first time, claiming her husband bought them in the wee hours.  60 minutes before she handed me the same spiel.  I realized then why she was so confident that they had been purchased - she had just done it!

But wait again! What benefit would it be to her to buy something and return it without a receipt.  Because she bought it with... you guessed it... her EBT card.  The desk clerk surprised her with that tidbit, when she said she would refund it to her EBT card.

"Well, how do you know I used my EBT card?"

"Because it says so on your receipt."

"Can't you put it on a gift card?"

"Nooooope."  (Ok, I added the emphasis, I admit it.)

Nice try, and it might have worked, but for two factors that just happened to work in my favor.  I had the RF to tell me that we hadn't sold any, and, by a stroke of luck that worked out in the end, she had bought them so recently that that system had not updated and therefore did not show the movement.

She told the desk clerk when she came back with her receipt that I owed her an apology, she was not a thief.  Nope, she's not a thief, just a fraudster.  And I hope she comes in to get that apology.

Stay classy, RHU!

--Riferous

 

Scotrail Passenger Comes To The Aid of Ticket Inspecter After Non Paying Passenger Refuses To Leave

 

Scotsman Rule. From Mouse Mastered.

 

 

Cop Threatens To Arrest Bookstore Slave For Not Remembering Custy's Stolen Check

I respect cops. They do the dirty, painful and thankless job of trying to keep us safe and most people just want the cops to kiss ass and control their kids. That being said, what the fuck do cops want from me?

Okay, I'll set the scene. It's March. MARCH! (remember this) And a cop wanders into my store, shows his badge and talks to the managers. They vanish into the back, come straight up to me and the interrogation begins right there on the floor.

Cop: All right ma'am, the transaction history shows that you rang up this customer.

Me: *blink*

Cop: Were you aware that the person writing the check was writing a stolen check?

Me: Uh, no.

Cop: Yet the customer came in and you accepted the check without ID.

Me: Store policy only requires the name, address and phone number to be current. The last time I tried insisting on ID, the customer threw a fit and I got in trouble for it. I am now only allowed to ask if the information is current. If they say "yes," then there is no more authority availailable to me.

Cop: Do you recognize the transaction? *shows me the copy of the recipt*

Me: No... 

Cop: Yet you rang them up ma'am.

I take a closer look at the date. IT'S FROM FUCKING NOVEMBER! ASDFJKL;

Cop: Are you sure you don't remember this transaction ma'am?

Me: ... seriously sir?

Cop: Ma'am?

Me: This transaction apparently ocurred the day after BLACK FRIDAY. On a normal week I will see over 200 faces, and ring up at least that many transactions. During the holiday season, these numbers double or even triple. On Black Friday alone, it was insane in our store. There is no way for me to remember faces or transactions that happened last week, much less four months ago. I cannot give you a description of the person and no, I don't remember the transaction.

Cop: Ma'am, you are being unhelpful in a criminal investigation.

Me:  And what do you expect from me?! Four months is too long to expect what was a normal transaction with no reason for it to be memorable. The customer was not a Customer From Hell or I would have remembered them. They filled out the check apropriately, told me the information was current and took the crap they bought.

My manager steps in at this point: Officer, she's not interfering with your investigation, and unless you want to arrest her right now, I suggest you leave her alone. (I nearly have a heart attack at those words). She's given you all the information she can.

The cop sighs, takes my name and age and leaves.

Me to Manager: You just scared the everloving daylights out of me when you told him to arrest me!

Manager: Bookstore Slave, honey, there comes a point where you stand your ground against cops. He had two choices. He either needed to arrest you and charge you, which would mean a lawsuit against him because he had no lawful reason to; or he could leave you alone and stop trying to bully information out of you. Since it was unreasonable for you to remember someone from that far back, he had to back down and leave you alone. Let me or another manager know if he tries to come question you some more.

I spent several minutes trying to calm my heart down because he really did freak me out when he mentioned the word "arrest".

May all your customers be nice,

--Bookstore Slave

 

Hotel Custy Claims Wallet Stolen, But May Be Up To No Good

Chicken Flinger here with a quick story and a question. 

Some of you know that I recently got a 2nd job at a hotel.  I actually really love it.  It’s a nice change of pace from the hospital and I’ve already gotten so many compliments from co-workers and my name thrown in a few positive guest reviews.  But I have a question about an event that happened the other morning.

I work the night shift and as such, I am at my desk all night.  About 5:20am, I had a guest (who’d only checked in at 2:30am) come up to my desk.  The conversation went a little like this.

Guest: So, yeah, like… do you guys have security cameras down the hallways?

Me: No, just these two behind me.  Why?  What’s up?

Guest: Oh.  Well… like somebody just came in my room and stole my wallet.

Me: What?  How?

Guest: Well… like… I woke up and somebody was in my room and now I can’t find my wallet.

I was totally thrown for a loop.  Just as a precaution, I checked all of our master keys and none were missing.  I only made one key for his room and even if there were others floating around, as soon as you make a new key, all previous ones deactivate.  So, basically, all masters were accounted for and there was only one key coded to his room.  I am instantly suspicious but say nothing to this effect.

So, as a precaution, I went to his room and used the master key that deactivates all existing keys for that room as well as the key that is supposed to see when the keys had been used but it ended up not working for whatever reason.

The thing is, when he called my desk a little later, he was whining about how he had to cancel all of his cards but he didn’t have the numbers.  I offered to look them up on the internet for him and he said his cell phone was dead.  I told him that he could use the room phone or the phone at my desk to make his calls.  Then he told me he didn’t know where he banks.  Seriously?!  You don’t even know the name of the people you entrust with your money?  The other thing that was suspicious was that he claimed to have had hundreds of dollars in cash on him.  So… why didn’t you use the safe?  Or at least the deadbolt?

I’m not completely discounting the possibility that someone did, somehow, get in his room.  If they did, though, it would have been because he didn’t shut his door all the way (sometimes they stick and you think they’re shut but they’re not).  The other possibilities are that he lost his wallet elsewhere or he was trying to pull a scam.  While trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I’m leaning towards scam.

I was also told that he was threatening and aggressive with my (awesome) manager.  I’m thinking if he was trying a scam, it was either to get the hotel room for free or to try and intimidate us into ponying up the cash he claimed to have in his wallet.  But I don’t have as much experience with NATs compared to some of you, so I pose the question…

What do you think happened to his wallet/cash?

Peace and entirely happy, friendly customers,

--Chicken Flinger

Paris N.A.T.s Steal Mark Jacobs Spring 2012 Collection

From Huff Po:

Alert the fashion police!

No, not Joan Rivers -- the real police! Marc Jacobs' Spring 2012 collection has been stolen in its entirety from a train leaving Paris.

The Telegraph reports that en route to the brand's press day, where all the samples from the collection would be presented to editors, all of the new, as-yet unproduced samples disappeared.

The news came via email:

Dear all,

The Marc Jacobs PR team is sorry to inform you that our press day tomorrow [a refresher of the clothes that were first shown on the catwalk. What, the models' googly-eyed death stares were distracting, alright?] in the Marc Jacobs store is cancelled, due to the theft of the spring/summer 2012 collections during its transfer from Paris.

How someone stole the whole collection, we cannot comprehend. Did they simply run the train car carrying all those shimmery dresses and layered skirts right off the rails? Did they do it piece by piece, using suitcases or granny carts? Did they go undercover as fashion PR execs? As train conductors?

No matter how the thieves did it, they better watch out. Because nothing and no one gets between a fashion editor and her Marc Jacobs.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

Best N.A.T. Sign Ever

Melissa McCarthy Wins Retail Balls Award: As A Waitress She Chased Down Drunk Custy Skipping Out On $1800 Bill

Melissa McCarthy from the show Mike and Molly was one badass waitress before she became an Emmy-winning TV star. She told one of her tales to People.com and I am reposting here and giving Melissa a Retail Balls Award to go along with her Emmy!

When Melissa worked as a waitress she chased down a 6'4 drunk douchebag and made him pay his $1800 bill. Management of the restaurant fired her for yelling at a customer. I guess that's how they say thank you for saving our financial asses. Look who had the last laugh. Way to go Melissa! RHU loves you!

Here's the People story:

She may be Hollywood royalty now, but even Melissa McCarthy was on the receiving end of a pink slip before getting her big break.

The first time she was fired was from a restaurant in New York City, McCarthy, 41, tells Access Hollywood, after she chased down a drunk customer who skipped out on a very big bill.

"Some guy that was incredibly bombed left like an $1,800 bill," the Emmy winner recalls. "Security was supposed to catch him, but they didn't. I went and found him two bars down, still drunk."

RELATED: Melissa McCarthy Shares Her Entertainment Weekly Cover with a Corgi

McCarthy said she brought the patron back to her restaurant and made him pay the bill.

But, despite the fact that he "was, like, 6'4" and he was screaming down at me," the restaurant showed McCarthy the door.

"They fired me for yelling at a customer," she says.

via www.people.com

If you missed her on SNL, check out this hilarious sketch where she plays the horny coworker from hell:

 

And here she with a Ranch addiction during an taste test panel: