So it's another fine day, working for Doodoocrombie & Mitch. I'm floating between stores, coaching associates, doing my LP thing. Eventually, I end up at the Follistar brand store, and am in the back going over paperwork, investigating money shortages we've been having. I have the stores camera's up in front of me, and from time to time I am taking sharp, eagle eyed glances at them, to make sure one of the mannequins didn't fall over.
It was dead. It was beyond dead. It was deader than Bambi's mom after hunting season.
Anyways, in walks this family. A mother pushing a baby stroller, and three sons, ages roughly around 11,14, and 20+. Nothing really drew my attention to them, but being the only people in the store, I figure I should watch them. The older guy and the 11 year old sit in the chairs in the front of the store, just chilling, while the mom and 14 year old go into the store. The 14 year old pics out a nice pink and white checkered button up shirt, and a few other flannels. His mom has him try them on, and after seeing they fit, she points to another room, and he goes walking off.
That's when I see the mother take the 3 shirts, bundle them up, and stuff them under the baby stroller.
Now the normal downside to this, would be that since I'm watching her on camera, I can't go from the camera room in the back, to the sales floor, without losing sight of the shoplifter. If that happened, then I technically wouldn't be able to make a stop, as I couldn't 100% testify that they definitely did not ditch the stolen merchandise. Luckily for me, she happened to be in the room right next to the door that leads to the back room. So I called a manager, and was able to get onto the floor quickly enough to ensure that she didn't ditch the stolen items.
My cover was obviously blown, so I just played the part of a manager, and me and the other manager just walked around, talking about this and that in the store. Meanwhile we discreetly followed to the woman. Sure enough she leaves the store, and I make my stop. I identify myself, and ask her to come with me.
I'm blocking the exit for strollers, so this woman just says "No" and starts trying to push her stroller, with a baby, up the stairs to exit. I'm trying to block her progress, but also don't want to risk injury to the baby. The older male starts asking me what is going on, and not wanting to embarrass the woman, I just say "She has some of my merchandise and I need her to pay for it."
Something about the look in his face told me he was semi aware of what was going on, but not a part of it. The 14 year old started yelling at me to stop trying to "hurt his mom". I told my manager to call the cops. The woman kept shouting, "I didn't do anything I'm a good christian!" and pushing the baby stroller, WITH THE BABY IN IT, into my shins and thighs, trying to get past me.
Now, I loved my LP jobs, and I took them seriously, but I would never do anything to risk a child's health. Fuck that, it's not worth it.
So I calmly said, while walking next to her into the mall, "Ma'm I'm not gonna stand in your way, because if you're willing to risk your child's health to get away, I'm not going to be a part of that risk. But I don't care if I have to follow you to your car, get your plates, and have the police follow up. I'm getting my merchandise back, and you will have to deal with all that follows."
She just kept dipping and dodging, trying to walk away and shouting "GET AWAY I'M A GOOD CHRISTIAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."
The older male just kind of follow shaking his head. He was a lot bigger than I was. I'm big, but he was close to 7' tall and had at least 100 lbs on me. But so far he wasn't threatening. The 14 year old on the other hand, kept trying to run interference. I would just walk around him, and keep pace with the mom.
At this point the mother is shouting "IF YOU DON'T STOP FOLLOWING ME I'M CALLING THE COPS!"
To which I replied "I'm already on the phone with the cops." I dialed them up and they had my managers call before, and I was detailing to the dispatcher where we were in the mall at that time. Every time I gave a location and direction, the woman would turn and go another way. It was a game of cat and mouse, wherein the cat couldn't run and the mouse had down syndrome.
Who will win, you ask? Well naturally it was me.
Eventually the 14 year old decided "Well, I can take him," and decided to step in front of me, push me, then take a swing. NOPE.
So we are on the ground, the woman is screaming, and the older guy is standing over me as I'm holding his brother on the ground. I tell them to get back. Luckily the older guy had a cool head on his shoulders, and decided to step between the woman and I and keep her from jumping on me.
Once inside, we got everyone separated, and began to talk. The woman is in tears, just saying "I'm a good person, I'm a good Christian."
The young kid is staring daggers at me. The cops ask me if I want to press assault charges. I look at him, and at the mother.
I can't tell you why I did what I did. I can only tell you that I am an amazing, kind, (and obviously humble) person. Maybe even the greatest person who ever lived. I told the cops not to press charges. That he thought I was harassing his mom, and when he stepped in front of me, we ran into each other, and I took it as a hands on thing when he pushed. I didn't tell them about the punch.
I think the cops knew, but realized I didn't want to put this poor kid through a trial when he was defending his mom. Yes I am an amazing person with a trivial act of kindness. That means more Karma, right?
Ok enough sarcasm. We recover the shirts from the baby stroller, and have the older male take the baby and the 14 year old outside to wait. The mother has calmed down enough, and keeps saying thank you. Thank you. We start to question her, and she explains that tomorrow is picture day at school, and her older son is the only one who works in the family. So they are struggling. She wanted her boy to have nice clothes, and this is the only way to get them right now. She looks at me and says,
"Good" Christian Woman: "Thank you for not pressing charges on my son. He was just protecting me. They don't know I do this. I'm ashamed. But thank you for understanding and not making problems for him. Please tell me what Church you go to, and I'll gladly make a donation as a thank you."
Me: "I understand. He just thought I was harassing you for no reason. Any good son would have done the same. But save your money Ma'm. You obviously need it, and besides, I'm an Atheist, so there's no church to donate too. But it's a sweet sentiment."
Now I don't think that I have the words to properly convey the look that came across this woman's face. It was some sort of mixture between confusion, disgust, revulsion, and incomprehension. It honestly looked like I had just told her that if you kick a puppy through a field goal post, you'll find a pot of gold where it lands.
GCW: "An....Atheist? But you're obviously a good person. You were kind to my son. How are you not Christian?"
M: "Well, that's a whole debate about whether you need religion to be moral, but..."
GCW: "You do. You can't be moral without God."
M: "Ma'm I'm not going to get into a philosophical debate here."
GCW: "But your godless. You're false."
M: "False? Like I don't exist? I'm afraid I don't follow."
GCW: "That's why I came in here. Satan was working through you and I fell for his tricks and stole."
GCW: "How can you trust Satan?"
M: "Ma'm I don't believe in Satan. It kinda goes with the whole Atheist thing."
Now this was even more shocking to hear for her. I guess she assumed that all atheist were devil worshipers, because logic? Meanwhile the cop is sitting there just kinda of watching this. I keep trying to get out of the situation, but she keeps wanting to refocus on "saving" me.
GCW: "I can help you. If you let me just help you. Read the bible. I have so many I can give you one! Just open up to it."
M: "Ma'm for the last time, I don't want to discuss this. I have read the Bible, I have read several books of the Apocrypha, I've read the Quran, Book of Mormon, Dhammapadda, and parts of several other religious texts from various religions and belief systems. It's not an issue of ignorance. But that is not why we are here. We are almost done if you just let us finish our paperwork, the officer here is going to release you on a PTA and you'll be free to go."
GCW: "YOU NEED JESUS!"
M: "Well, if I WAS going to take religious guidance, I probably wouldn't take it from someone who can't even follow one of the top 10 rules of their religion."
I decided to accent this point by holding up the shirts she had just stolen. Hypocrite.
GWC decided this was a good point to shut up and start scowling at me. The officer shot me a look and we continued our paperwork, before walking her out. The officer was gonna walk with them and escort them off the property. The GWC, and her two younger sons were glaring at me the whole time, like I had just literally punt kicked a puppy over a field goal post. The older son looked upset, but was still very quiet, other than saying, "Sorry about this."
GCW packed up the carriage and said, "Come on boys. Before this false man perverts us even more."
Naturally I just said, "Have a good day!"
Disturbing video caught a woman stealing a wedding ring from a corpse in a coffin.
Police said the thief struck Saturday afternoon at the Sunset Memorial Gardens and Funeral Home in Odessa, Texas.
Surveillance video at the funeral home showed the shameless suspect approaching the casket that contained the body of 88-year-old Lois Hicks.
In the video, the woman leans over the casket and appears to hold Hicks' hand, but police said she was actually stealing her wedding ring.
The suspect fled the scene in a red or maroon 4-door Saturn, according to officials.
Detectives said the ring was made of plastic and only worth about $10, but no matter the cost of the ring, officials said stealing from a corpse is a felony.
Police hoped releasing the video to the public would help investigators identify the woman.
When I had my first job, at 14, working the concession stand at a theater nearby, I had some really weird experiences.
One time, this couple came to order from my cash register. They ordered a large Pepsi, but we didn't sell Pepsi, we sold Coke products. My best friend Rebekah, who was my runner that night (for those of you who don't know, a runner is one who leaves to fill the drinks or get things in the back for that specific cash register so the cashier can take orders without as many breaks), politely told the woman that we didn't sell Pepsi products.
She barked at us to get her, "a fucking Root Beer." (Keep in mind-we are a FAMILY friendly theater, and at the time currently having our summer matinee for the little kids).
Rebekah fills up her large Root Beer and hands it to her, and the lady literally THROWS THE SODA all over her, claiming she ordered a Sprite.
We clearly explained that she ordered a Root Beer, and she started yelling that we were just kids and didn't know what the fuck we were doing.
Finally, Rebekah, who's the sweetest person I know-and still my best friend to this day- loses it and says, "Look, lady, you ordered a Root Beer, now here's your freaking Root Beer! If you want anything else, order it now or go away!"
Of course, the lady decides she wants a large popcorn, but the guy who is in charge of popcorn that night was swamped with orders. I told the couple as nicely as I could that it would be a few minutes, and to go ahead and pay now, and wait on the side so I could take more orders.
The woman threw a HUGE fit. Raging about how she "refused to pay until she got her damn popcorn."
Collin, the popcorn worker, handed me a large bucket of popcorn, obviously noticing her rage, who didn't?
The little kids and their parents we're looking really freaked out by now.
I hand the lady her popcorn and she storms off with it, without even paying.
Her husband snorts and comments, "If you weren't such a bitch, I'm sure we would have paid." And then they left and screeched off in their car.
I stood there for a minute, shocked, and then left to help Rebekah clean the soda off of her in the bathroom, and to calm her down (she was crying). I have other stories, but that was the worst.
From Detroit Free Press:
Warren Police are investigating how at least 33 cases of Whoppers burgers disappeared from the back of a delivery truck on last week, according to the city’s mayor, Jim Fouts.
“It’s a whopper of a theft,” Fouts said dryly. He added of the thieves: “They probably consumed the evidence.”
The incident began on a Thursday night, when a semi-truck driver tried to deliver several cases of the famous burgers to a Reinhart food distribution center located on Ryan Road and East 10 Mile.
For reasons that aren’t clear, the driver had to wait several hours to make his delivery. He fell asleep in the truck and awoke at 2 a.m. — only to notice that his truck’s shipping seal was broken and a few boxes of Whoppers were missing.
The driver secured the truck with a padlock and went back to sleep. By the time he awoke at 8:30 a.m., at least one thief had struck again — this time taking 33 cases.
“While he was sleeping, they were stealing Whoppers,” Fouts said.
Fouts said it wasn’t clear how many burgers were in each case. The distribution center refused to accept the burgers that were left over once they learned of the theft.
Now police are trying to catch the “hamburglars.” Yet officers have very little to go on.
Anyone with details is asked to call the Warren Police at 586-574-4800.
Contact Daniel Bethencourt: 313-223-4531 or email@example.com. Follow on Twitter @_dbethencourt.