Retail Hell Underground

Cranky Old Crusty Harasses Karebear All Throughout Store, Frightens Her Kids

From Karebear:

So the other day I told you all about the evil little hellspawn. Well, lets go to the other side of the age chart and tell you about the crazy old man I encountered.

Who: Myself, two adorable Karebear cubs, Grump (old customer) and special guest appearance by Tank later on.

Where: Jewel, starting at the meat counter and ending in the freezer section.

And scene...

Decided to go food shopping at Jewel yesterday. I prefer to buy my meat there compared to the meat at Hellmart. My local Jewel happens to sit next to the local Bullseye, so that's where Tank ran off to, hoping to score on a birthday gift idea for the youngest Karebear cub. My local Jewel also has those carts with the play car attached to the front that my kids freaking adore because they think it's so super cool and they can pretend to be driving while I shop in some form of peace. And we just happened to score one!

Anyways, I made my way to the meat department. I had only been there for about 2 minutes trying to decide on which to make for dinner tonight: beef or pork. I had parked the cart right in front of me, out of the middle of the aisle (cause on the other side of the case was the chicken case) and had just looked forward for two reasons: make sure no one was there and to remind myself I need lunch meat, which happened to be right in front.

Like I said, I had been there no more than two minutes and had decided on something for dinner (got both beef and pork, can decide at home!) and was about to cross the aisle to get a thing of chicken when I realized an older man standing in front of me. I was going to leave my cart where it was, but after seeing the man standing there, I said, "Oh I'm sorry where you trying to get to the meat?" while in the process of moving said cart. I was polite, respectful, yadda yadda.

Grump huffed and said, "Well, yeah, your damn cart takes up half the aisle (false! was only blocking half of the beef, could of gotten to anything else easily). Stupid bitch should learn to keep her legs closed and stop popping out kids then you wouldn't have to take up half the damn store and be in everyone's way."

Now...hold the fuck up...I was there for two minutes. I was barely blocking much. I quickly moved my cart, so he could get to the blocked area. I was polite. I even apologized. And I am still trying to figure out how I was popping out kids when I only have two and they are four years apart.

After I picked out my chicken, I turned to him and said, "No reason to be a dick about it. Obviously you have a working voice, you could have easily asked me to move. Politely. And I would have." And I walked away, leaving him red in the face and muttering something about women needing to learn their place or some bullshit. (I could be wrong on what he said, I was trying to block him out, but that's what it sounded like he said.) I just went about the rest of my shopping.

Every time he was in the same aisle as me, Grump kept saying, "Guess I won't be getting anything from that shelf," meaning my cart was in his way. It wasn't really, I knew what I wanted and needed and hauled ass getting it all.

Tank finally showed back up once I hit the freezer aisle. Which is good since he is picky about what veggies he likes (rarely the same that I or the kids like). So we were stopping in front of the frozen veggie section. Cart in front of me, out of the middle of the aisle. Blocked about two doors to the freezer and we were trying to be quick. I was grabbing my broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot mix while Tank was grabbing his preferred veggies (corn, I think.) Weren't even there for more than a minute when my cart goes flying away from me. (Remember my little cubs were in the car part of it!) Grump had taken it upon himself to shove my cart out of his way rather than waiting half a second more or asking politely to move.

The cart didn't go straight very well on its own, so naturally it veered off and crashed into a door, causing my baby to hit her head on the plastic steering wheel. Crying began because it shocked her, she couldn't see me, etc etc. I rush over, my arms full of veggies, and Tank just says, "What the hell man?" Grump decided to take off now rather than get the product he was trying to get.

After calming the baby down, I filled Tank in on what happened and we went on our merry way to finish shopping. No idea where Grump disappeared to, figuring he bolted for the register or something. Apparently he didn't because he showed up again behind us while we were at the registers. He didn't say anything to us there, but instead took to eyeballing Tank and glare at me.

Sorry, Grump, I haven't learned to balance a cart on top of my head just yet. I thought I was doing good parking the cart to the side rather than in the middle of the aisles. Guess not. :(

(Now really, did I do anything wrong? I must know for my next trip to the store. I know those carts with the special seats are bigger than most carts, but I never had issues with them before. If I wasn't doing such a heavy shopping trip, I would have just used a normal cart, but these let me put more in the bucket and seat and I don't have to worry about my kids running around crazy otherwise.)

--Karebear

Black Friday Walmart Custy Attacks Other Custys For Their Shopping Carts, Gets Tazered By Cops and Looses Her Black Friday Loot

So I’m not sure what this qualifies as, but it made me giggle.

Foofy Sparklepants LOVES her some Black Friday. She went around our giant retailers and managed to make it out without getting anyone trampled this year (A different story for a different day) and with a couple of funny stories.

At Bullseye, they had this sale they didn’t advertise. One of those ‘Hey! You made it! You braved the crowds and didn’t die! Here’s an awesome sale JUST FOR YOU!’ things.

It was a home speaker set that was something like $398.98 that was marked down to $40. She grabbed one for herself and then another for a lady behind her. That’s when this old bitch began punching her in the ribcage to make her let them go. Foofy elbowed her in the eye and ran down the aisle with the other lady following her, using the boxes as battering rams to move people out of the way.

And then at Hellmart, there was one custy who would physically attack people to be able to rifle through their carts and run. She’d punch them or kick them or scratch them… anything to move them from their carts long enough to grab and go.

That’s when they called the police on her.

As was told to me (since I was smart enough to sit at home all day and not go out into the world of crazies) the cops showed up and got to the lady and tazed her. They tried getting her in the neck, but she moved around and they got her in the face. The lady got tazed in the FACE! She fell to the ground and peed on herself and everything, and by this time, a large circle had formed around the cop and the woman. Everyone knew she was getting taken out of there, and her cart was up for grabs.

No one moved a muscle. No one dared make the first move. It got quiet in the area, and the only thing you heard was a loud, shrill voice.

Foofy: (To a friend) GET MY CART!!!!!

Foofy ran into the center of the circle after the cop got the woman up, grabbed the woman’s cart of ill-gotten gains and ran off with it to the sporting goods section with her friend to divide the plunder.

Regardless of it all, it made me laugh.

--Terah

 

 

Katiedid Shares Two Stories Of Retail Hell: From Both Sides Of The Counter

Well hello all, it's Katiedid, back for another round of 'hooray humanity makes me want to kill something!' Today's tales are of a condescending bitch who couldn't take no for an answer and a bonus story from the other side of the counter. Buckle up kiddies and let's go back in time to the middle of August.

Now by this point in the summer I'm just ready to be done with work and go back to school, so I already have a low tolerance for bullshit of any kind. For those just tuning in and having not remembered me, as I only post when the rage makes me want to stab someone with a rusty fork; I work at McHells.

So I was actually having a pretty good day for once, which is amazing in itself because I was working counter at the time. I hate counter. Anyways, this little old biddy walks up to my till and orders a chicken wrap. For those who have never eaten a wrap from McHells it comes with chicken, lettuce, cheese and whatever sauce goes on it, nothing else. Little Old Biddy wants to add tomatoes onto her wrap. We have to charge for this, it's ten cents, so not a big deal, right? Fucking wrong!

Little Old Biddy: I don't want to pay extra for tomatoes!

Katiedid: I'm sorry ma'am, it's policy.

Little Old Biddy: Well, I've never had to pay extra.

(Big fucking deal and way to lie lady! Why the fuck do I care that someone else doesn't know how to follow the rules, and why the hell do you think I should change my answer just because you said that?! God I hate people.)

Katiedid: They were supposed to ma'am, I'm sorry, but that's policy.

Then she said something that made my blood fucking boil. She looked right at me and said...

Little Old Biddy: Oh, you must be new here.

In the most condescending, 'oh you're so cute when you don't know what you're doing,' voice I have ever heard in my life. I gritted my teeth, took the smile off my face and gave her the blankest stare I could.

Katiedid: No ma'am, I've worked here for five years, I think I know what I'm doing.

Thank god she shut up after that. 

------------------------------------------

Second story has me and my mom shopping at Costco. I needed a new backpack, and mom was willing to make it an early christmas present for me, seeing as I never have any clue what I want, besides money for food and such (poor college girl presents, yay!). So we go, and we pick out a good backpack and shop around a little more, getting a few other things. We then head up to the cash register. Now for those that don't know about Costco, in order to buy shit there, you have to have a card and they don't allow other people to use your card, that's a big no-no.

So we get up to the cashier and mom wants to put my backpack on a separate bill and will be paying for it on a separate debit account. She has two, one shared between her and dad for the everyday family stuff, and one that's just hers for fun stuff, christmas gifts, etc.

The lady doesn't want to let us do that. This immediately puts my mom on high alert, because this is something she always does. I'll call her Mama Bear for this exchange.

Mama Bear: I always do this, why can't I do this now?

Cashier: You can't let other people use your card, ma'am. 

Mama Bear: I'm not, I'm buying it for her, she's not buying it. 

Cashier: We can do a subtotal...

Mama Bear: Both accounts I'm using are mine, I'm even using the same debit card. I'm not using her money, I'm using mine.

Cashier: Well I heard you asking if that backpack was okay.

Mama Bear: She's my daughter, I can't get a Christmas present for my daughter on my account? 

Cashier: *bitchy tone* Well, I don't know that she's your daughter. 

At this point I'm just getting annoyed with the cashier because really, it's not any of her business. Mama Bear's using her card for both purchases, I'm not handing her any money. Either the cashier should have backed off when Mama Bear had explained, or gotten her manager.

Instead she kept pushing, saying she needed to put it on a subtotal, which is not what Mama Bear wants. Mama Bear finally demands to see a manager and explains what's going on while the cashier is still arguing and getting catty.

I understand that you have to make sure the rules aren't being broken, but once someone gives you an explanation that makes sense, do not keep arguing, or get the goddamned manager involved. Me, being in the service industry, often take the side of the employee, but not this time. Sometimes the customer is in fact right.

-- Katiedid

Art House Cinema Pet Peeve: Waiting On Seniors

From Lea Blue:

I work in the local "art house cinema" in a section of town where mostly seniors live. Let me tell you... these have to be the worst people to serve.

They can't remember what the hell they're seeing, and refer to the movies by who is in it. This is hard for most of us employees, seeing as most films are indie or foreign and have people we've never heard of, even if we have seen the movie. I don't wait through credits, I shouldn't have to. You should know what the frick you're about to see.

Another aproach they take at box office is asking what every single movie is about, and then asking whether I've seen it or not. This is very inconvenient during rushes, when these knobs decide to use this tactic. It's Friday night and you're busy... so I should ask about EVERY film!

Another pet peeve of mine is when they get tickets. Even if they are obviously old as dirt, I'm not allowed to assume they are senior. But will they say "two seniors to Argo"? No. They just say two to Argo. And when I say, "okay, two matinee is sixteen dollars," do they stop me? No. It isn't until after I print tickets that they ask if I charged them senior. No. I said TWO MATINEE because I charged you for two matinee. Which leads to "well, you should have known" and my head explodes because it is supposed to be a fricken compliment, and you old ladies are supposed to adore me for it, not yell at me about the seventy-five cents you are entitled to save because you're my grandma's age.

Lastly, late customers. I "love" these guys. They show up twenty minutes late, and ask how far in the movie is, and how crowded it is. I don't know how far in it is. Even if I have seen that particular movie, I don't time how long previews are, and how long it takes for any important details to pop up. And if it's crowded, how do I know if only the front row has seats? I don't pop in every two minutes to see how full it is. I'm helping customers get to the other movies they were on time for. If you want to have a good seat and see the movie in it's entirity, show up early like everyone else.

And yes, movie times change every Friday, if not sooner. Check online, call, or read the newspaper to make sure your movie is still playing at a convenient time for you.

--Lea Blue

Gorcery Hell Scare: Custy Grabs From Behind and Restrains Just To Ask A Question

Hello, Retail Hell!

Not a Morning Person here again.

It's been a long time since my last submission. Well, the thing is, my job at the supermarket's been pretty good recently. The customers have been nice, there's been less incidents of sheer what-the-hell, and overall things are going well. I've even finally decided what I want to do with my life (zookeeper ftw!).

But something happened earlier today that made up for the past couple of years' peace.

I was working on the self-scan checkouts, trying to fix yet another pointless error (seriously, can somebody program one that actually works?). I suffer from anxiety and since the small self-scan area was crowded, I was already pretty tense. All of a sudden, somebody comes up behind me and restrains me.

Immediately my brain jumps into "Oh god who is touching me what is going on" mode. I try to struggle away but they're not letting go. I wrench myself away and turn around to see an old lady.

She tries to grab my shoulders and I put my hands up in a "stop" gesture. She still keeps trying to hold my shoulders and I tell her, "Please don't touch me," as polite and calmly as I can.

She smiles as innocent as can be and says "Excuse me dear, what time does the shop close?"

I'm on the verge of a panic attack but I manage to tell her, never mind the sign with our store hours is literally two metres to her right. She wanders off and I get back to fixing the malfunctioning checkouts, trembling and trying not to flake out at the people walking nearby.

Okay, a few things wrong with this situation. First of all, WHO THE FUCK RESTRAINS SOMEONE TO ASK THEM A QUESTION?! It wasn't like she couldn't tap my shoulder (which I wouldn't have liked, but it's still better than being grabbed!) or even just talk to me like a normal frigging human being!

Ugh. Sorry if I seem like I'm whining, but I really, REALLY hate being touched. Respect each other's personal space, folks.

--Not a Morning Person

 

An Open Letter to The Children and Grandchildren of Seniors

From Hellraiser:

This letter is addressed to all the children and grandchildren of the world.

Here I would like to ask you kindly to call your aging elders and settle in for a nice long talk, led primarily by the aforesaid elder. Think of dear grandma and grandpa, so isolated from the modern world in a house with no internet, cell phone, and/or driver's license, and think of the consequences of their horrible loneliness.

Otherwise said aging relative may pick up the phone and subject me, the humble captive call center slave, to a 45 minute diatribe on subjects including:

Their medical history all the way back to 1998.

The falling quality standards on all products from prescription drugs to their grandmother's sink plug.

Their home burglary from several years ago in which something was stolen although no one knows what.

Their son's financial problems.

Their post-traumatic stress disorder that is supposedly comparable to a Vietnam vet's.

The repossession of their house.

Their complete employment history as it relates to the downfall of the American economy.

...and the one time they used a computer and didn't like it.

After telling their life's story, they will then follow up with their fear of identity theft, the supposed  multiple times someone has tried to steal their identity, and the statement, "I get so tired of being on the phone all day."

Now, I realize you have no more desire to be subjected to this verbal battery than I do, but as this person's offspring you may be able to respond with fond memories and familial love, whereas we slaves have only exasperation and impatience.

Think of all the other callers, desperately holding on the line, needing assistance and growing impatient, while this tragedy occurs in my eardrums.

I beg you, don't let them do this to us again.

 

Humbly,

Hellraiser

 

 

Impatient Dumbass Custy Causes Scene At The Self Checkout

A brief introduction of myself: I work for a popular grocery chain in Texas. My official title is 'cashier', but my unofficial title is "Self Checkout Slave" as I find myself scheduled to run the self-checkout more often than most co-workers (much to my disappointment). Apparently I'm "gifted with patience". If I ever find out who started that scandalous rumor....

There was one incident about a month ago with a woman I'll call Miss Priss.

Miss Priss I take it was not much for waiting - or listening to instructions. The concept of self-checkouts is simple: scan, bag, repeat.

To make it *ahem* user friendly, the computer always directs you to bag the first item you scan so the customer can get the idea. Miss Priss was apparently slow on the uptake that day, because after she scanned the item she set right next to the scanner rather than on the bagging scale and proceeded to try and scan her next item.

I took pity on her and reset the scale to skip the bagging process. After scanning the second item she decided to place both items on the bagging scale, which of course made it overweight and the computer directed her to place the item back on the scanner.

After hearing these directions, Miss Priss STOMPS HER FOOT in what I could only guess is a mini-tantrum and looks at me with an expectant glare.

Immediately I knew she was going to be difficult. So I reset the scanner again and thankfully the rest of the items went off without a hitch. The payment phase is where it turned ugly.

Our self checkouts require you to select your payment method on the register screen, THEN swipe your card on the hypercom before the payment can be finalized. The computer even tells you this. Of course, Priss was too busy for directions and stood there waiting for her card to go through for a few moments before I clued in on her slowness and asked her to select her payment method. This is where stuff hit the fan.

The register screen's calibration decided to go a little wonky, so when she selected "credit" it pushed a button on another part of the screen. It's a rare but known fluke and usually fixes itself after a few tries. Here's how the rest of the transaction went down.

Me:*Walks over and explains the situation and solution, apologizing profusely for the inconvenience*

Priss: *sighs and shakes her head*

Me: "I'll be happy to do it for you so you don't have to deal with the head ache." *starts pushing button*

Two tries into it.

Priss: "Forget it, I don't need this stuff anyway."

She then turns on her heel and storms out in a huff, leaving all her selections behind.

The best part?

Just as she turned the button press worked, and all that was left was the approval button on the hypercom. She ignored my attempt to call her back, and I was left standing there exchanging confused glances with a supervisor who was standing nearby.

God I wanted to press that "approve" button so bad just out of sheer anger that a 30 something woman would actually throw a tantrum fit for a 14 year old girl whose parents refused to by her tickets for a Bieber concert, but the image of her coming back and stomping that foot at a manager with my name on her lips led me to sigh in defeat and suspend the order.

Moral of the story: Impatient and emotionally underdeveloped people have no business being near a self-checkout.

--Self Checkout Slave

 

 

Retail Hell To Hospital Hell

From Slagathor:

So as most of you Facebook group users know, Slagathor no longer works at Fred's. I have accepted a job as ER registration at the hospital. I am really stoked because the hospital offers tuition reimbursement and has awesome benefits. Anyway, I've been in hospital hell for 3 weeks now and it has been fascinating! The attitude people get when they're having an "emergency" is almost laughable. 

We had a lady getting ridiculously upset because she had to wait in the waiting room for her cough. The reason why she had to wait? The nurses and doctor were busy running a code on a guy having a heart attack. Of course, we can't tell her that. All we can tell her is "The nurses are tending to patients with more serious conditions at the moment, please have a seat in the waiting room. The nurse will get you when they're ready." Luckily we have a plexiglass window and a speakerphone to talk to these irate people. 

Another thing that bothers me is the pain scale. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?" It's always the people in severe pain that give it a 5 or 6 and the people with minor pain give it a 9 or 10. Before you peg me as the judgmental type, I will tell you now, 1. I am and 2. I know what a fucking 10 feels like. I have an extensive medical history and it's why I'm so happy I got into the medical field and into a hospital that supports higher education. Anywho...You'll get these patients, sitting calmly in the triage chair, legs crossed, arms folded, sitting back. "Oh...I'd say my back pain is  definitely 10." And then you get the legit pain patients who can hardly sit, back straight, wincing in pain. "Oh...I don't know? 6 maybe?" 

I've discovered the ER consists of 90% elderly folks falling, 5% kids getting injured being kids, 3% frequent flyers, and 2% everything else. If there was a special place for elder people to go when they fall, we'd be out of business. I'm glad to be out of retail hell, but this isn't much different. There's still the customer service side of it, but there's no selling or credit card offers!

Stay sane, RHU!

Cheers,

--Slagathor

Retail Balls Award: Crazy Custy Flips Out At The Check Out and Gets Told

Greetings Service Slaves

I have just come upon your blog many years too late! I worked in grocery on and off for a total of 7 years, and have worked retail in a women's clothing store for 2 years. Believe it or not, I actually like my job, but I still have many custy stories. This one is from my time in grocery.

We all know that customers refuse to read signs. "Coca-Cola products $2.99"? That must mean everything in this aisle is $2.99!!! "Select Tees, Buy One Get One 50% Off"? Are the pants included???

One afternoon I was ringing a Crazy Custy and her kept husband.

I was calmly ringing her order and when I rang 2 packs of raspberries, she instantly became irate and insisted they were $1.99 a pack, and since they were ringing incorrectly, she would be getting both for free.

I told her, it doesn't work that way... at the register behind custy was a particularly disgusting and hateful co-worker of mine; she always smelled like she wore the same clothes every day for a week and always had a disgusting rash all over her face. Nasty co-worker stated "You would get ONE for free and the 2nd at the corrected price."

Crazy Custy, now smug, thinking Nasty had confirmed her belief they had rung incorrectly, turns to me and says "see?"

I told her yes, that would be the case if they are, in fact, ringing incorrectly. I go check the price. What do I see?

Raspberries are not on sale whatsoever, but packs of blueberries are, with a giant sign next to the blueberries that says in big, bold letters "BLUEBERRIES $1.99."

I come back to give her the news of her illiteracy. Any normal rude custy would huff and puff a bit more or say "Well, I don't want them then", and I would take them off her order and she would be on her not-so-merry way.

But no. Crazy Custy begins to lean into my personal space as much as she can over the register and throw any verbal abuse at me she can think of.

A few minutes into this, Crazy Custy told me "I really don't like you and I hope you have a bad day."

I responded: "I don't really like you very much, either."

Kept Husband had been silent the entire transaction, bagging the groceries. At this point he simply left the store without a word. Then my manager comes out to see what is going on in between insults being flung at me.

She explains to Crazy Custy the same thing I did, that she would get one free and one for the sale price if they were in fact ringing incorrectly, but they were not. The manager points out to her "besides, these raspberries are moldy anyway!". (I was pretty sure at that point that Crazy Custy knew the raspberries were not on sale and did not want these moldy fruits, but simply was looking for any reason to have a bi-polar fit at someone.)

Then she says to me: "You know, you're just a little FAT GIRL."

As the next customer in line behind her gasps with disbelief and looks at Crazy Custy with horror, I did the only thing I could think of and flip her the bird as I continue to ring.

The customer behind the Crazy Custy says "don't listen to her, I'm a psychiatrist, she's mentally ill", as Crazy Custy exclaims to my manager "...she just gave me the finger!"

I leave the register to go to the bathroom and cry for a bit while my manager handles it, assuming I would be fired. A few minutes later the manager comes in fuming mad - at Crazy Custy! She tells me she told Crazy Custy to get out of her store and never come back and how dare she speak to her employees that way.

A few days later I was promoted.

--Former Grocery Slave

 

 

Bad Granny Puts Granddaughter in Danger with Electric Riding Cart

Hi, Perky here,

It's been a while since I have submitted anything--my personal life has been a bit on the crazy side. But I have had many crazy crusty encounters and the Code Adam story brought back to mind something that happened a few weeks ago.

We serve a rather large elderly population and we have quite a few electric riding carts that we provide for our patrons who need them. Of course we all know that unsupervised children love these carts and we have a sign stating that children can not use the carts without adult supervision (we had to add the last part because we have had a few times were older children 14+ have had some injuries were they have needed to use the riding carts because of temporary mobility issues.

But of course we often have kids as young as 9 or 10 think they are freaking go-carts to be raced in the aisles.

So one of the duties the front door person has to do is to keep an eye on the carts, make sure they are plugged in and keep the kids from playing on them. So a few weeks ago I'm at the front door, checking receipts and keeping an eye on things when this little girl, she looked maybe 10-12 years old, comes in without a parent and heads straight to electric carts.

She unplugs one jumps on it and starts it up. Thankfully it wasn't busy so I stop her and inform her that we can not allow children to ride the carts without an adult.

She tells me that her grandmother sent her in to get her an electric cart and bring it out to her car. Now I'm also in a bit of a sticky situation since we're also not suppose to allow a young child to leave the store without an adult either. So I can not tell the young girl to go back out to her grandmother's car alone. If something happens to that girl we're essentially responsible because we would have sent her out alone. And I can not walk her out there because I can not leave the front door unattended.

So I radio for a manager, and when the manager gets up there I explain the situation.

So we ask the little girl what car was her grandmother's and while the manager watches the front door (and the little girl) I take the cart out to the grandmother.

I get there and was ready to explain to the grandmother that for safety reasons we can not allow children to use the carts unsupervised, never mind having a little girl drive one through a busy parking lot but OH MY GOSH, you'd think I had kidnapped her grandchild rather than try to keep her safe.

I got chewed out from one end to another. How dare we tell her what she can and not do with her grandchild, they do this all the time...I try to tell her that if she wants to call us when she is pulling into the parking lot that one of us will be more than happy to bring a cart out to her--but no nothing I could say was going to have the least bit of impression on her.

And of course when the woman was done shopping she took the cart out and never brought it back. Left it in the freaking middle of the parking lot lane where it was a hazard to other cars. I know that bitch did that on purpose.

We haven't seen her in the store since then, and I'm really hoping we never see her again. I just feel sorry for the little girl and hopes she doesn't live full time with her grandmother.

If that grandmother thinks it is ok for a child operate a cart in a busy parking lot, then I hate to see what else she lets her do.

--Perky

Retail Balls: Crazy Fabric Store Lady Gets Told In a Clever Way

Swatchbuckler gets a Retail Balls Award for how she repsonded to a mean, ungrateful hag custy:

Swatchbuckler here.

Sorry I have been away but I quit smoking and everyone's stories made me want to smoke...alot.

But, I'm back with a tale of an old lady who decided to act like a toddler. We know this woman, she comes in every summer to buy fabric for her never ending supply of ponchos. She's hard to deal with and doesn't smell so nice but she usually isn't horrible and I even let her use my AAA account when she had a flat tire in our parking lot last year. Although my business partner hates dealing with her because she is a blatant racist.

She came in today near closing looking for the same fabric she does every year. She looks at the fabric and yells at me because she forgot her hearing aids and she can't hear me.

Fine.

I yell to communicate with her.

Everything I show her she says "I hate this." "This is ugly, why do you have such ugly things?" and she got into a huff when I showered her a pretty rayon fabric and went on to argue with me that you can't wash it. (Yes, you can.)

She then passes gas and stinks me out so I leave her to her choices and she decides on one fabric.

There is just about 2 yards on the roll and I give it to her for 1 1/2 and the total came to $7.50. She pulls out a card and I explain to her that we only take debit over $10. (There are signs allover the store saying this.)

Saying this was apparently akin to kicking puppies and skinning hamsters.

She got angry.

I explained to her that the credit processing company charges us exponentially for low charges and sometimes we lose money.

She screams "They don't do that! You're lying!"

Yeah, I'm totally in the business of not selling fabric.

She then asks if we take checks and at the same time I noticed with her wallet open that she has a $5 bill and I said "I'll take that for the $7.50." Meaning she gets a great effing deal.

She then says to us "That's for a bill! I only live on $800 a month! I can't use that cash! I won't have lights!"

I'm like alright we will take a check. She then went into a tirade about how if she had known she would have brought a check and that our business had gone down hill since last year and that's why we are empty. (It was almost close.) She was the one that asked if we take checks. She then continues to go off on how this was a waste of time and actually STOMPS HER FEET and storms out. 

After she leaves, we leave and on the way she continues her tirade saying that we sell shit and that we are terrible people I mention to her, "Remember last year when I used my AAA to help you get a new tire? Well the company that came actually charged me a fee which I paid so you have no right to talk to us this way."

She then huffed and screamed "No, they didn't!" and I said yes they did and that she has a terrible way of showing appreciation for someone who helped her out.

I think I got her. She screamed I was a rude person and got in her car and sped off. 

You know if she didn't flip the fuck out I would have said, "Take it and pay us next time." like what we do in most situations like this.

Odd thing is people always pay us back.

Anyway that is my tale of woe for the day.

Stay strong Slaves.

Hugs and Hard Liquor,

--Swatchbuckler

 

Old Lady Hell at the Summer Movies

From an RHUer:

My wife and I went to see "Snow White and the Huntsman" the other day. One group of three elderly ladies were in line ahead of us, and no one was behind us.

I knew we were in trouble when I heard one of the ladies asks her group, "How many tickets do we need?"

The old hens then start clucking amongst themselves, finally deciding they needed four, the extra one for the driver, who was parking the car. Then she starts asking for the total, then turns around and says, "I need everyone's money!"

There's a few moments pause while she gathers the money, then I hear... one... two... three... four...Do we get our senior discount? How much is that....? One...two...three...four...oh, just take this and count it. I'm sure it's all there."

Finally they get their tickets and move on. By this time the line is about 10 people deep, and I move up to the window. I ask which movie they were going into, so I could make sure we avoided them if possible. Thankfully, they were seeing "Prometheus", of all movies.

I get my tickets and we head inside for popcorn and drinks, and guess who is in line in front of me?

I hear the clerk give the total, and the old lady starts in again with "one...two...three...four...."

Thankfully, another clerk stepped up and waived me over and took my order.

 

Kentucky Fried Hell: Crazy Lady Ordering

Hello  RHUers! Midnightdoctor here.

It’s been a while. I usually don’t post unless I really want to share something “are you serious”/WTF worthy.

Once again, I work for The Colonel in a restaurant that sells finger-lickin’ good chicken.

Recently, our restaurant has been cracking down on lazy co-workers and I’m pretty sure a few of them are going to be let go soon if they don’t clean up their act.

I was actually quite relieved when they let one co-worker go. She shall go by “lazychick”. So Lazy was always short-tempered and rude with the customers and had quite a few complaints about her attitude. Plus she would always call-off at least once or twice every other week and I would almost always be called in to cover her. No worries, more money right? What irked me was that she was always getting more hours than I was and did jack-shit during her shift. Seriously, she would either hang out in the office, talk on the phone, and she would always talk very loudly about her private life with a few co-workers.

To be honest, I laughed when she got the axe. Maybe now the hardworking employees could actually get some hours in.

And now for the “are you serious”/WTF worthy moment.

Here’s a little backstory about my customer service skills: I’ve been told by numerous managers and coworkers that I have excellent customer service skills. I’ve never had a complaint and I actually have customers who come back because they love my personality, not to mention my great smile. *cue cheesiness*

So I’m helping some customers in the lobby when two customers come up to me and ask for a 6pc family meal. I shall call them Grouchylady 1 and GrouchyLady 2.

Grouchy 1 claims that the last time she came, her coleslaw turned a bit sour in a matter of hours because it had a lot of the juice packed in with it.

I apologize to her and tell her that I’ll make sure that the one I hand out won’t be swimming in it. I repeat her order back to her just to make sure I didn’t miss anything because this is a mistake that most of my co-workers make.

She confirms that she only wants a 6 pc family meal and I complete her transaction. After I hand out some orders that were in front of her, she asks me if she can finally get the large drink that she ordered.

“Um, I’m sorry, what drink?”

She looks at me like I’m insane. “The large drink that I ordered.”

I don’t remember her ever saying she wanted drinks. I repeated the order back to her and she confirmed that I wasn’t missing anything. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. I didn’t charge you for a large drink.”

“Well I said I wanted one.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you say that. I repeated the order back to you and you said just the 6 pc meal.”

Cue eye rolling and sighing. “Well can I get one?”

“Sure! Let me just ring you up for one. It will be $2.04 ma’am.” This is where her friend Grouchy Lady 2 hands me her credit card to pay with and Grouchy 1 just HAS to open her mouth and tell me her opinion.

“Why are you using your card for $2?!?!?!”

Grouchy 2 says that she doesn’t have cash on her and Grouchy 1 starts ranting about how she doesn’t understand how I didn’t charge her for a drink when she clearly asked for one.

Once again, I apologize and tell her that I repeated her order and she told me that nothing was missing. Then she goes on about how she’s so surprised about how horrible my customer service is and how I didn’t immediately offer a replacement side order because clearly, she’s been here a lot and I have to recognize her face and yadda yadda I’m entitled.

Seriously lady?

I go through TONS of customers each day and only a few regulars stand out. And the managers have this policy where if you don’t call the store about a mispacked order and come back with a receipt, they won’t give you diddly squat, which I mention to her (in a nicer manner, all with a huge smile on my face.)

I’m guessing that telling her that I repeated the order was a bad thing to do, but I wasn’t intentionally being rude. I was just telling it like it is.

Then she starts bitching to my supervisor, who is clearly on break in the lobby. I hear her talk about me while I’m packing her order and she repeats my name a few times like she’s trying to remember it. I honestly think that she’ll try and complain about my “rude service”. Yeah, it’s only considered rude because I didn’t bend over backwards for her and give out free shit. I’ve never seen someone embarrass themself over food before. It’s just astonishing.

So after ranting about coleslaw, she changes her mind and asks to change her one side order to mashed potatoes because she’s not sure what kind of “strange things we’ve been doing to the coleslaw.”

I immediately tell her that coleslaw stays in the mini fridge and that we never do strange things to our coleslaw at any time, so it’s perfectly fine.

The things I put up with for minimum wage….

--Middnightdoctor

 

Retail Slaves As Custys: Horrible Custy Hag Encounter at Hellmart

Hi RHU! I have been a long time reader, and felt I never had an interesting/quirky/odd story to add. However, after today....I think I do. Feel free to call me Karebear, nearly everyone and their momma does. 

This happened to me while I was being a customer myself, rather than a retail slave I normally am.  I decided to do some early morning food shopping at my local Hell-mart, so I could avoid the bigger afternoon/evening crowd, and could easily nab a front row parking spot. 

First, a bit of a back story. I am a single mother. I have two kids, one 5 year old and a 1 year old. I have worked retail most of my working life, and consider myself blessed with some heavespawns. Sure, they have their moments, but compared to some of the terrors I have seen while working and/or shopping, my two are angels. They are always with me when I am not working, so they were naturally with me today. 

Secondly, I am told I look younger than my real age. I am really 25 years old, but apparently look like a 16 year old. I say 16 because that was what three nurses/doctors asked when I was in the hospital with my second baby. 

Anyways, as I was saying, I took the kiddies and myself to Hell-mart for a much needed, overdue food shopping trip. It was pretty stinking early in the morning, like 7am by the time I got there. Apparently that is when all the old ladies shop for their food because, besides the employees, my kids and I were the only ones under the age of 50, from what I could tell. 

Anyways, I was in produce, minding my own business, looking over the apples. My baby was in the seat of the cart, and my son was in the bucket part of the cart. He normally has his little M&M tin full of quarters with him to get cheapo toys from those vending machines by the door, and today was no exception.

Well, like any clumsy 5 year old, he accidentally drops it. (Note: he did NOT throw it.) There was an old lady standing about 7 feet away from us, her back turned to us, and when she heard the tin drop, she turned around and started accusing (yelling at) my 5 year old of throwing it at her. 

Now, he only simply dropped it. It was right in front our cart, and no where near this old hag. And my son would not throw his special toy money. I told this to the old lady, politely and calmly, even though I wanted to smack her for yelling at MY kid.

Hag: Don't lie to me, child. I clearly saw him throw it at me. *um, no you didn't lady, your back was turned towards us.*

Me: Well, I am sorry if you feel that way, but he only simply dropped it. Now if you excuse me, I will go back to shopping.

Hag: Don't disrespect me! You're one of those little sluts, having kids at the age of 12. Look, no ring, not even married! You should rot in hell.

I was pretty stunned by her words. Being a single mom, I am pretty used to others saying some pretty messed up shit to me, but this hag didn't even know me. That, and she was saying this in front of my children! I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I didn't want to cause trouble in the store, nor did my kids need to witness Mommy going loco, so I simply grabbed the dropped tin and my apples and walked away.

You would think this was the end of it...but no, this lady started following me! And I know she was because when I shop, I don't go up and down the aisles. I go into a store knowing what I want, and go to the proper aisles, therefore skipping some aisles that I know I do not need. Also, she wasn't even getting anything off the shelves in these aisles, rather just staring hard at me. 

I tried ignoring her. I really did, but she was muttering things behind me, giving me the stink eye. I really do not know what was wrong with her, but she was starting to freak me out a little. I didn't know if she would start smacking me with her bag, but my gut told me she just might. So I turned around and asked, fairly loudly, "Why the hell are you following me?!" 

Well, that started her off on another rant about disrespecting elders and me being a slut and a whore and a whole bunch of other names my children didn't need to hear.

Luckily the actual store manager was the next aisle over and heard me yelling. He probably thought I was yelling at some young guy who was trying to stalk me in the store or something because the look on his face when he saw me staring at an old lady pretty much said what the fuck fuckery. 

The manager came up to us, and the old hag started in on him, not giving me a chance to even say hi or explain SHE was following ME. 

Hag: Take this whore out of the store right now. She is disrespectful. Her monster of a child threw a tin at me! (my son is about near tears now thinking this was all his fault, even though he simply dropped the damn tin.) 

Me: He dropped it by mistake. He's 5 years old, he's a kid, he is clumsy. He did not throw it at her. When I said this to her, she started calling me names and insulting me. I simply walked away, but she continued following me down each aisle I went down, saying horrible names. In front of my children. If anyone was being disrespectful, it would be her. 

Anyways, long (enough) story short, this lady went on for a good 5 minutes to the manager, calling me names, saying I should be booted from the store, etc etc. The manager told her to shut up, looked at my son and asked him if he threw the tin at the lady.

My son, in tears, said he didn't, that he dropped it by "boo-boo."  So the manager told the lady to either leave me alone, stop swearing in the presence of my children, or he would have her removed from the store. 

Needless to say, hag lady was not happy with this. She picked up her bag, swung it over her shoulder (causing it to bang my shoulder!), picked up the apples in her cart and THREW them at the manager.

Then took off to the exit. Manager ended up having LP stop her at the door, and last I saw was two cops going into their secret LP room. (Whether it was for the old lady or some other person, I don't know, but I am assuming the old lady since the store was nearly a ghost town.)

I ended up buying a movie for my son to cheer him up because he was pretty upset over the whole ordeal. Luckily that cheered him up, as he now running around my living room dancing and singing with his new Scooby Doo movie. 

Never thought weirdos like this lived near me since I went through 25 years without experiencing any...makes me want to go back to never leaving my house before 10am though!! 

Hope you have less crazies and all that jazz.

--Karebear

This Month's Stupid Custys At The Cell Phone Store

List of this months stupid customers

Hi, RHU :) Cell Circuit chick here, with my monthly list of stupid customers - and in cell phone hell, you see a lot. I'll try to keep each one short.

Ebay Lady:

This lady came in to the store and had apparently bought two blackberrys on ebay. She tells me she wants to activate them. One on prepaid and one on a month to month. The one she hands me for prepaid, I can tell can't be activated on prepaid because it's an older model.

I tell her this, and she shows me the other one and asks about it. I notice on the bottom of the phone, very clearly written, is the name of another carrier.

I tell her she has to go there. I look at the second phone she hands me, and it's for a carrier in the US ! I let her know this, and she gets mad and asks (well, yells at) me - as if she expected me to do something - "Well, what am I supposed to do, now? The seller told me I could do this."

I told her IDK and it's up to the seller if they'll return it. (and I wanted to say don't be an idiot when shopping online..)

Tweezer Lady:

This one came in with her phone, which she jammed in the memory card backward and got it stuck. She asked me if I had anything to get it out and I told her I had a plastic pair of tweezers that we use for getting phone cases off, but they would be too thick to get out the card.

I let her try them anyway and they didn't work. She then asked me if I had a smaller pair of metal tweezers or a screwdriver in the back. I tell her no, we don't - all we have are the ones I gave her.

She asks me if I'm absolutely sure, and I say that I am. Another coworker comes out and she says to them "This young lady, here, seems to think you don't have a screwdriver or metaltweezers in the back room."

As if she thought I lied to her. CW gives her an odd look and says "We don't." and showed her the exact ones I did.

And finally, the featured entitled customers of this month.

We charge for paper billing. If you don't want to pay it, you can do ebilling. That's just how it goes. We have customers who will say they want ebilling and then every month, come in to the store and ask us to print their bill. While we can see their bill, we tell them that we don't print bills out here and if they want a paper billthey can pay the $2 for it and have it delivered to their home. Other than that, we'll tell you what you owe, but that's it.

Of course some will say "well, someone did it for me last month !" to which we just repeat ourselves - pay the $2 or check your email.

Sorry ! Why would we waste ourpaper to give you something for free that everyone else has to pay for ?

Until next time ! 

--CCC