TechTyger had a website (known as The IBM Years) where he posted stories from Call Center Hell. At our encouragement, he's submitting his stories for RHU's enjoyment! No worries, we'll keep posting them, even after the month for Call Center Hell ends. :)
THIS asshole is pissy because it had to call back to get the answer for its problem when the original tech didn't know how to fix it and had to research the problem. The problem was that Word had yiffed up a template that someone had sent him. We tried for two days to get hold of this monkey, its number was busy and its voice mail was not working. Someone finally got through and left a message to call us for the answer.
Now I'm lucky enough to get it. It's complaining because whoever left the message did not leave the answer. It complained about the service and that it always had to call in four or five times to get its pathetic little life back on track. I checked the back records and this asshole has called in 14 times since January 1st, and every single one was answered in one call. Once he started off by bitching at the call entry rep [not technicians, they just route the call to the appropriate section] enough that the call entry person put it in the record.
I don't know why the person who left the message didn't leave the fix ["It's pooched. Get someone to send it to you again."] in the message, but I had nothing to do with the call at all, and it spent 15 minutes pissing and moaning at me about how bad our service is. After it asked for a manager.
At the time, it was slightly after 5pm. All of the managers had left already, and were likely stuck in traffic halfway across a notoriously bad bridge. Thus I could not give it a specific time that the manager would call back, but it would be as soon as possible. It begins badgering me for a specific time, saying that 'I am the CUSTOMER'. Yeah, I know that. I only talk to customers. And in tech support, customers are not always, or even usually, right. I can't teleport the manager to the phone, I have no control over his movements at all.
'So what am I supposed to do, just sit here and wait for a call?'
You really don't want me to tell you what I think you should do at this point. Since I've answered this question several times already, I just type my record.
'You just want me to go away so you can type, is that right? I'm the CUSTOMER!!'
And I'm the one who gets the pleasure of your company. Should I be impressed? You were given the answer, and you're still giving me shit. And the faster you shut up and get off the phone, the sooner the manager will be able to call you.
I continue typing the record, giving it the same answer every time it asks the same question, and finally it gives up and hangs up.
The manager called the lUser back, and gave it exactly the same answer I did, reading it from the record just like I did, and after a bit of bitchy about having to call in so many times [twice], it was happy. Doofus.