Retail Hell Underground

Humor Me: The Tale of How I Sold My Truck

Hello some of my favorite people! I wanted to let you know why I sold my truck to the person I did. I will call him Mr. Nice Guy. He did NOT finish last! : - ) Sorry, it's a long one, but I hope worth the read.

I advertised my beautiful 1999 Ford Ranger on Craigslist when it became obvious that I wasn't going to get a job in time to save it. I love that truck. It's exactly what I wanted, and I thought I got a decent deal on it. The bank payments actually weren't that bad on it when I was working and getting child support, so I was actually paid ahead. But I couldn't stay in the state where I was, so it was time to put it to use and move to the sunny side of the country.

Khemosabi served me well until I reached Ohio where his 155,000 miles worth of spark plugs (they had never been changed!) started to give out and it started to miss. Going through the Tonto National Forest (GORGEOUS by the way!), he put on his best "Little Engine That Could" and finally got me to my destination for a well-deserved rest while I unpacked.

Not knowing for sure if I would be able to pass emissions testing (because I didn't at the time know what the problem was), I took Khemo to the mechanic and had him repaired... on a credit card, of course. I thought for sure I'd be able to get hired back on at Hellgreen's with glowing recommendations from my former manager. One small problem. In the week it took me to cross the country, Hellgreen's had a hiring freeze. There would be no more money coming in other than my disability payments. I was sunk. I parked the truck, cancelled the insurance, wrote the bank that I had no more money, and told them to make arrangements to pick it up. I was heartbroken. The bank said, "This is an unsecured loan, sell it yourself!" Not very helpful, so there it sat.

The credit card company financing the repairs was NOT very sympathetic even though I had generally paid ahead on my bills for 5 years. They finally put me in contact with a credit management company after my bill had doubled in interest. It will be another year yet for me to pay it off.

Since I had bought two-year tags (smart move!), I had some extra wiggle room, but things went terribly wrong. First, some fucking waste of resources tried to steal my truck. But because it had been sitting so long, the battery was dead, so they couldn't take it. You know those red, flashing "theft" lights, pinhead? Yeah, if it's not flashing, there's a reason! In the end, they had punched the driver's door lock and the ignition, thus making it next to impossible to get the bank's asking price.

Then, some total assburger came through the apartment complex and stabbed a bunch of tires, mine included. The only "good" thing out of this was that I had puncture insurance on them. The bad news is, the tires were bought on the east coast, so the tire would have to be bought, then the money reimbursed. Impossible for me. Along with that nightmare was the apartment complex's requirement that all vehicles be in running order. They were just being overly nice letting me keep the truck there with the punched ignition, but the flat tire would HAVE to be changed. For those that don't know, I am mobility impaired, and I walk with a cane. I am mentally capable of changing a tire having taken auto mechanics in high school, but physically, it is quite challenging (to put it mildly). On top of THAT, somewhere along the line, before I owned the truck, the key to the spare tire had been lost! I tried calling several Ford dealerships to ask if they would send someone out to unlock my tire, but all they wanted to do was have me DRIVE THE TRUCK OUT to be fitted for a key!!! FUCKERS. Whatever happened to customer service!? Going above and beyond!? HELPING SOMEONE IN NEED??? In the end, I had to buy a drill and drill bits and drill the lock out. I should call every one of those places back and tell them what horrible service they have. On the other hand, I have been wanting a cordless drill for awhile. It took me THREE DAYS to drill the lock out and change the tire. It took me two weeks to recuperate.

The end result was that my very best friend that I have known since Kindergarten stepped in and called the bank when she was afraid my truck would be towed and got them to release the title to me! It means my credit is totally fucked (uuuhhh... not like it wasn't before since I hadn't made a payment in a year), but at least it meant that I could SELL the truck!

So I finally got off my ass (actually, I've been recovering from surgery and having trouble keeping a good connection to the internet long enough to upload photos), took photos, composed a post (which SPECIFIED "1999 Ford Truck" in the subject line at the bottom so I KNEW that they read the WHOLE ad and didn't drive all the way out and say, "But it doesn't run!") aaaaaannnddddd.... SLAM! I seriously thought I'd have trouble selling it. Trucks like this are a dime a dozen out here. The first guy (Mr. Whiny Pants) that e-mailed wanted me to TAKE MY AD DOWN so he could have first pick! But wait! That's not all! "How much of a discount would you consider?" *facepalm* I told him that "at that point [he] was first in line". But his whiny, pushy "I WANT IT! I WANT IT I WANT IT!" was really turning me off. I thought I had a doctor's appointment today, but I forgot to schedule it. There's been a lot going on recently.

I called the next guy, but he didn't think he could make it out soon enough, but he said he would call back if he could and THANKED ME ANYWAY! What a sweetie.

Mr. Nice Guy on my list was on the other side of town as was wondering if I was willing to wait for him. Well, since I had to reschedule my appointment, no problem! When it looked like he was going to be late because he was stuck in traffic, he called back to APOLOGIZE, and asked if it was okay! I said it was fine! I'm liking this guy! (Meanwhile, Mr. Whiny Pants is calling and asking if he can come early. Sorry! My cab is going to be here ANY minute! I told you I'd call you WHEN I GOT HOME!)

Mr. Nice Guy is understandably concerned about the aspects of buying a truck with a title from another state. I was more than willing to do anything to alleviate his fears, all he had to do was ask. He put a battery charger on the truck, and even though it has been sitting in that one spot for nearly 18 months... IT STARTED!!! WOO HOO!!! *cough! cough! so much dust!* He took it for a test run up and down the drive (because of course he couldn't take it on the road) and said it ran well, everything worked except the AC (expected), but of course he was still a little leery. I didn't know what else to tall him. I told him I had all of the records from when I bought it and that was all I had to offer. If he didn't want it, I could sell it to the next guy (ANY guy but Mr. Whiny Pants!). I KNEW he liked the truck though and I didn't push. HE BOUGHT IT!!! I told him I would bend over backwards (figuratively, of course!) if he had ANY trouble with any of the paperwork with the bank or getting the tire reimbursed. He's kinda cute and in my age range, so I kinda hope so! Shhhhh! LOL! We wrote up a contract so each of us understood that he is getting it with the problems I listed that I knew of, so it is AS IS, and he is cool about it. He had a tow hitch and took Khemosabi with him when he left. I hope Khemosabi is as faithful of a friend to him as he was to me. *tears up*

As for Mr. Whiny Pants, when I got back inside, he had left several messages. "When can I come? When can I come? When can I come?" He called a few minutes later (Dear GOD!) and I told him the truck had sold. You'd think I had killed Ol' Yeller! Mr. Whiny Pants: "You told me you'd give me first chance! You lied to me! You told me you'd call me! *whine whine whine!*"

Me: "I'm sorry, he offered me more than my asking price (I lied)."

MWP: "Why would you DO that?"

Me: "For the money." *stifles laugh* : - |

MWP: "I really wanted that truck! *start crying!* You ruined my day!"

Me: "I'm sorry. I'm sure if you keep an eye out, another one will pop up on Craigslist."

MWP: "HOW COULD YOU!?"

Me *click*

He called back to cry into my answering machine too. Loser.

So Mr. Nice Guy finished last and got a really nice truck by having a really good attitude. He did pay full price, but it is true that he got his money's worth. I'm still paying on those wires and plugs that he'll be driving around on for a year because I need the money to pay some on the bank (YAY! get a bit of my credit score back!), FINALLY change my name (have wanted to for 37 years, ESPECIALLY since the Patriot Act), and FINALLY move from this place so I stop getting assaulted and risk getting my dog harmed. Rule #1. Nice Guys Finish 1st!

--Humor_Me

 

Cartie Stalls At The Finish Line

From Humor Me.

 

 

Custy Rejects Beanie

Must have been sticker shock.

From Humor Me.

 

 

 

Custy Says Says Screw The Laundry

...or did they say "screw it" trying to get those three baskets apart!

From Humor Me.

 

 

Secret Vitamin Reject

Custy must have wanted to keep their vitamin needs private.

From Humor Me.

 

 

Disnyland Dance Party With Tigger, Pooh, and Eeyore

  

 

Handicap Parking Rant: Entitled People Who Feel They Can Park Wherever They Want

Hello again my hard-working, custy-abiding citizens.

Are you ready for another rant about parking from someone who isn't even driving at this point?

Well, I really don't care. I believe I have the right since I only have one parking ticket for parking on the street during rush hour because I had forgotten that it started and I was still in the shops (paid it as soon as I got it), and one warning for going left through a yellow (the one where I had been sitting in the middle of the intersection waiting for it to clear, no less). No speeding tickets, no DUI, no driving without insurance. I think I've earned the right to rant about other people and their parking *ESPECIALLY* when it comes to handicapped spaces! So here it goes:

If you drive a tank, realize that you are going to have to park in the desert. Parking and taking up two spaces where other people have t be around you is being a total douche. YOU PARK LIKE AN ASSHOLE.COM. This should be a sister site to RHU. You can make "parking tickets" to put under their wipers. If I had something to write with, I'd have written a note to the idiot in the white truck and told him what an asshole he was and to look for his truck on the site... or here! (below)

Now let's discuss handicapped parking spaces. I'll just narrow it down to the one right in front of the office at my apartment complex since that's the one I see when I walk my dog. For some reason it is a magnet for all of the repair vehicles here. Forone thing it's the largest parking spot, and for another, its right in front of the office. All the workers have to do is walk right in.

 
I never got around to calling the company on the small pick-up, but I did call on the large box van because they were taking up the whole space. I called the office, told them that their truck was blocking a handicapped space. Instead of being blown off, I was switched over to dispatch who was mortified to hear about it and they said they would get in touch with their driver right away and have them move it. Score 1. Of course mentioning that you are disabled and that you find it really annoying that people treat as the "Wow!-This-is-a-great-big-spot-rught-next-to-the-office!" spot goes a long way in getting your point across.

Now I'll tell you about the taxi I ran into two night ago. I was out walking my dog as usual (my regular route takes me right by the handicapped parking spot by the office), and as I'm passing by, a taxi pulls into the parking spot aaaaannnnddddd..... PARKS. So I stood on the passenger's side (because that's where the ramp side of the walk went) for a minute or so to see if someone was actively walking up to the cab. Nope. Finally the driver rolled his window down, and the conversation goes something like this:

Taxi: "Can I help you?"

HM: "You realize you're parking in a handicapped spot, right?"

Taxi: "Um, yes. I'm only going to be a minute."

HM: "That's not the 'I'm-only-going-to-be-a-minute' spot. That's a handicapped spot."

Taxi: "What are you going to do if I don't move?"

HM: "I could call your boss."

Taxi: "I am the boss."

HM: *holds up cane* "Then you should know better. "THIS--*points to sign* is a handicapped spot, and I don't see a placard or a plate." *GLARES*

Taxi: "Would you like me to move?"

HM: "That would be the thing to do." *sweetest smile*

*Taxi backs out and moves to a regular parking spot*

WHY should it be that difficult??? It all goes back to: If you want my parking spot, then you can have my disability! I recently had to walk TWO BLOCKS after a bus stop to have my dog's rabies shots. The first block was uphill and I had to stop and rest twice. This from someone who hiked 10 miles of the Appalachian Trail in one day. Granted, I was in my teens back then, but I haven't done drugs, haven't smoked, and haven't done extreme sports. My body attacked me. It happens. So next time you hear of or see some clueless moron parked in a handicapped spot, be sure and tell them THEY PARK LIKE AN ASSHOLE! Get a picture, and let's put these lugnut-lickers to shame.

-- Humor Me

Death of a Shopping Cart Corral

From Humor Me: The cause of corral death appears to be at the hands of three punks. According to the cart jockey they may have also knocked over a couple rows of carts and would have pushed another row into the street but the wheels locked preventing it from going too far.

 

Custy Decides To Reject In The Pet Aisle

 ...aaand the dog wins! From Humor Me.

 

Custy Rejects Peanut Butter

Because it's missing the chocolate! From Humor Me.

Spermy Sneakers

 

Look out Nike and Puma! Spermy is out to conquer the world. From Humor Me.

 

Taxi Cab Rant

From Humor Me:

So even though its against the law according to the ADA, I have to put it in my info when I set up my cab rides for medical appointments that I have a service dog. This morning when I got picked up by the cab, the guy was a total dick.

The landscapers were out blowing the leaves (and dust from our last dust storm) out of the parking lot and the cab driver was having a FIT that it was taking so long for the dog and me to get loaded. HEY! You're the one that came to pick me up! You know I'm disabled, or I wouldn't HAVE a service dog! 95% of weekday pay for these guys is medical transport. If you don't like it, go out and get another job.

Right when Endless stood up to get out, she shook (which she rarely does, she usually waits till she unloads). He then rolled his eyes and complained about the HAIR! AGAIN, YOU CHOSE TO PICK UP A SERVICE DOG! Damned if I do, damned if I don't! I keep her cleaned and brushed, but short of shaving her bald and having her waxed, she is going to leave hair behind. *I* leave hair behind because I also have 2 cats! I just don't know how much more I can take of these cab drivers being total jerks to me for NO REASON.

I have called and complained to the cab company before, but it ends up going nowhere. I am basically trapped because I don't have my own mode of transportation, and with some of these appointments, even with an hour's leeway on time, it can still end up cutting it close. I am in the process of dealing with the fact that having a SD listed as part of my transportation requirements is ILLEGAL.

Another issue I have had to deal with is waiting up to 3 HOURS to get home! I call for a ride home and the cab never comes. They claim they can't find me even though I hear the receptionist give very explicit directions as to where the office is. There are even 2 foot letters with the name of my physical terrorist's office on the side of the building! I have had to wait for 3 hours no less than 4 times, and I have called multiple times trying to get a ride home. Yesterday, it took me 2-1/2 hours to get home from another procedure. I should have been in and out in two hours. I was starved, pissed and tired, but I still was way too polite to everyone. I hate being a crusty, but when a person gets treated like this, I can start seeing their side.

SD's are considered medical equipment as much as a prosthetic leg, cane, or oxygen is, and people don't have to have those listed when they set up their transportation. In AZ, Service Dogs in Training have just as many rights as fully trained Service Dogs. I would really like to hear if we have any taxi drivers and if they have ever dealt with SD's and their owners.

-- Humor Me

Custy Goes After Walmart Beer N.A.T.s

From Humor Me:

I saw this on my local news and couldn't believe that a customer would be crazy enough to try and stop a group of NAT's! PLEASE! This is what the police or trained LP is for! She could have been seriously injured o killed. Just think if those guys had a weapon.

Thank you, Monique Lawless, for feeling our pain, but we don't want your family to mourn you because of a few cases of beer. You are worth so much more than that.

-- Humor Me

Here's the story from Stanton Houston Chronicle:

It wasn't her beer.

Monique Lawless had nothing personal at stake when she saw three men leaving a Walmart store in Alvin with three cases of beer they didn't pay for. She was a customer, not an employee, of the store.

Yet Lawless, who stands just under 5 feet tall and weighs 125 pounds, took off in pursuit of the three much larger men.

"I'm just sick of the lawlessness," the 42-year-old Alvin woman said. "They knew their chances of getting caught were slim to none. Those kids would have gotten away with it, celebrated their theft and probably continue to do it."

The three alleged thieves were arrested — at another Walmart store in Pearland near Texas 288 — after an hourlong chase. But Lawless' efforts to stop them came at a price: a scratched face, broken lip and scrapes and bruises to her legs.

Lawless, an engineering safety specialist at Boeing, was in line at the Alvin Walmart Supercenter just before noon Sunday when she saw the men enter the store and quickly leave with the beer.

She informed a sales clerk, who waved at a Walmart greeter to stop them. He briefly detained two of the suspects, but they broke loose to join the third man in their getaway car.

"I holler at the clerk to watch my purse," Lawless said, "and I take off after them."

Jumped on hood

She spotted the men getting into an older-model sports car "so I just started running towards the car, jumped on the hood and was kicking at the front windshield, trying to kick the windshield in," she said.

"I am screaming, 'You punks, you are not going to get away with this,' and people are looking at me, thinking what's wrong with her?" Lawless said. "People were just standing around, probably thinking I am crazy."

Her crime-fighting effort didn't stop there.

"Then I jumped on the roof and tried to kick in the sunroof, and in the meantime they're just laughing," said Lawless, a mother of two. "I was really upset then. I was mad."

Action not recommended

When the driver started the car, Lawless slid down the top of the vehicle and grabbed the driver's door handle. The vehicle lunged forward and she let go, but not before being dragged along the pavement.

She declined medical treatment at the scene, but took the day off from work Monday to recuperate.

Alvin police Capt. Chad Fontenot said he appreciated Lawless' courage, but she was lucky.

"In this case, it was not a good thing to do," Fontenot said. "While we appreciate the sentiment, she put herself in grave danger with this theft. She did get injured but it could have been worse.

"Because you don't know if the person is armed or their mental status, the best people can do is to be a great witness," he said. "Get a license plate and a good description. In this case you had three young men in a vehicle that she took on by herself. Those are not good odds in any situation."

The three men, who are brothers, were in the Brazoria County Jail on Monday facing charges of felony evading arrest and aggravated robbery. Sylvester Andre Thompson, 21; Sylvester Durlentren Thompson, 21; and Sylvester Primitivo Thompson, 19, live at 4925 Harbin in Santa Fe.

Attempts to contact Walmart Monday were unsuccessful.

Would Lawless do the same thing again?

"Probably," she said, "but I would probably throw a shopping cart in front of the car instead of jumping on the hood and roof."

robert.stanton@chron.com

via www.chron.com

 

 

Craigs List Grocery Hell Poster Joins RHU

I had posted my rant on CL a few weeks ago complaining about the fine clientele that often graces our store day and night, and there are some real BEAUUUUTIEEES!

Someone seen it on CL and posted it here where they thought it would be much more appreciated. Humor_me had commented on my post which came through my email stating how much she enjoyed it.

Having no idea who this was, I sent her back an email asking who they were. She in turn replied something that I can't remember, which made me send back the original email I received from her....then the rays of sunshine spewed through the clouds of darkness and she showed me the light to RHU.

No more will I be flagged because someone thought what I said was "dirty" or "belligerent" or was just down right being an asshole. Now I will be openly embraced for the things that have been fighting to come out of my mouth about those inconsiderate, ungrateful, no bath takin', too small a shirt wearin', no toilet manner havin' ingrate gluttons that call themselves customers.

If I had only known......you can call me KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) I work at a 24hr store that I'll call the Big M.

Now at the Big M, we sell all kinds of stuff...grocery stuff, clothes stuff, housewares stuff, outdoor stuff....you get the picture.

One night as I was walking down to the end of an aisle I heard an older man ask "can u's helps me?"

KISS:" What cha need?"

OM: "Where's da toofesses pace adt?"

KISS: "The what??"

OM: "Da toofesses pace! Where's id adt?"

KISS: (in my head) "What in the FUCK is this guy saying?"

KISS: "One more time sir."

OM: "DA! TOOF!-FESS!-ES! PACE!!! Where's id adt?"

KISS: "Sir, I have NO clue what you're saying."

OM: "You know...toofesses pace, the stuff u brush u teefesses wif!"

KISS:  "TOOTH paste?!?!"

OM: "Yeah!! Das what id said!"

KISS: "Well, the TOOTH paste is over in aisle 4 of health and beauty care, across from the TOOTH brushes."

OM:" You ack like u neva hurd dat wurd bafore!"

KISS:" Sir, I know them as TOOTH and TEETH, not TOOFESSES and TEEFESSES. Is there anything else you need help finding?"

OM:" Nope, das id."

Really? I almost went and got someone else to try to help me interpret what this guy was saying. I don't even think he had enough teefesses in his mouth to need toofesses pace., That's just one of the stories that I have collected in my noggin over the last 27 years.

This was just a mild story to tell so I could loose my writing virginity on RHU. Thanks to humor-me, I can come here and share with others my encounters with these ass necks.

Thank you humor-me!!

--KISS

Parking Fails: Entitled Bitches

From Humor Me: If you don't want to leave your car out in the sun all day, what do you do? You create your own parking spot by driving it under the awning of a closed business! Gotta love AZ!

 

Saw this one at the grocery store. REALLY? They parked across the front of a handicapped spot and had a trailer across the fire lane. This is when you park at the back and take 2 spaces. We did it all the time with the horse trailer traveling.

--Humor Me