This story was originally posted on: June 16, 2011
YAY! Summer has begun!
How do I know that?
Well the Summer Fair is in town bringing with them crowds of amusement park riders, concert enthusiasts, and gut busting fast food aficionados (FRIED TWINKIES YUM!).
Definitely, my little nieces and nephews had a great time stuffing themselves with junk food and regurgitating their lunch on the Tilt-A-Whirl. But it was the masses of moronic custys I witnessed while waiting in the long ass lines at the Summer Fair that brought back retail hell memories. One in particular stuck out.
While waiting in line at the concession stand for cheese fries, I stood behind some fucktard who was giving the poor food slaves behind the counter a hard time because they were taking two minutes longer than expected on filling his large ass order.
Dumbfuck then turns around, bitches to the strangers behind him how incompetent the food workers are, and brags about how he could do a better job. (Don’t you just hate how some random asshat stranger pulls you into a conversation that is really none of your business?)
Anyway, Dumbfuck finally gets his order and walks away to stuff his fat face, leaving me the opportunity to be nice to the stressed out concessions slaves as they served me. Simply by being polite, smiling, saying please, thank you, and demonstrating some patience they got my order quickly which allowed me and the poor food slaves to go about our business and continue with having a really good day. The reason behind this is because of the horror story my BFF told me in high school that scared the shit out of me whenever I go to any fast food establishment. Let me elaborate.
Back when Queer Geek was simply Teen Geek in high school, my BFF got a summer job working at a local amusement park/Fuck E. Cheese place that catered to hellspawns. The place was opened only two years, garnered some popularity with parents, and hired teenagers for part time work.
Unfortunately, the owners had no idea how to run a business that it finally went belly up and got sold as a paid parking lot three years later. At the time, my BFF got employed into the concessions food court and she told me this story where her coworkers went apeshit on a rude custy’s food that worries me every time I place an order at a food register.
WARNING! THIS STORY IS ABSOLUTELY BUT SADLY TRUE! IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, STOP READING!
Rude custy comes in and orders a pizza.
Now their pizza is your typical fake cheese, fake sauce, microwave convection over three minutes making kind. Larger pizzas take approximately seven to eight minutes. Rude custy orders a large.
BFF and coworkers start making it. Not one minute goes by before the rude custy starts banging the counter demanding that her large pizza be shown in front of her.
Coworkers scramble but rude custy is screaming bloody murder for her pizza to show up. BFF is in tears while pissed off coworkers duck into the concealed kitchen and PURPOSELY drop the pizza on to the floor.
BFF watches in horror as coworkers each take turns kicking it around the dirty floor, stepping into it, and using it as a rag to wipe the counters.
Visible debris, dirt, and bugs are removed or tucked into the dough before it is popped into the oven.
Eight minutes later, rude unknowing custy is given her contaminated pizza for free while BFF’s coworkers pee in their pants with laughter leaving a horrified BFF ready to lose her lunch.
Surprisingly no one knew about this incident.
Well, that was until now!
MORAL OF STORY: Always be nice to your food slave. You never know what they do to your order behind the counter!