Oh I yearn for the day I can afford a maid. Or even an apartment with a mechanical dishwasher. Cuz really that's 80% of the battle.
My parents have one however, and she's kind of a jerk. She'll change what time she's coming at the last minute and then everyone is in the house while she's cleaning and she gets pissed at us for being in the way.
Dude. Come when we expect you and have made arrangements to be scarce. Not four hours later when all of us have returned and want to get some work done, read, watch tv.
But I hear you on payment. I can totally just picture you standing there expectantly.
"Oh," says your client, "I forgot to get cash... I'll get you next time."
"Oh," says you, "I forgot to poor this dirty water on your linoleum and empty this vacuum cleaner bag on your carpet and take a shit in your bathtub. Go get some cash now, thanks."