Retail Hell Underground

Rude Entitled Student Gets Told Before Taking a Test

Soft Ice Girl gets a Retail Balls Award for putting a rude student in his place:

Good day, fellow RHU-ers!

I am out ouf retail for a while now, yet I had a recent crusty encounter- I work as a tutor for research methods in psychology, for the fourth year now, and I must say that I absolutely adore my job!

If I didn´t have to get up so early for it (8 am class, urgh), I would do it for free.

The class works like this: The students come over, we hand them work sheets and they solve the problems in there. If they have questions, they can ask one of us.

Normally the students are super nice, thankful for the help, and sweet (as they are in the first semester, so they ask cute little newbie-questions), but a few weeks ago, I had my first crusty encounter EVER!

I was sitting on my bench, scanning the class for raised hands, and this stupid fuck snaps his fingers, whistles, and as I look at him in disbelief, he waves at me in this "Italian mafioso" manner- outstretched arm, chin raised, hand does not move, only the fingers do a "come here" motion.

Really, he did all the disrespectful "calling someone" behaviours at once. Do there exist any more? I think there would be only shouting "garcon!!" left to be more of an asshole.

My boss was sitting right next to me and all she did was raise an eyebrow.

I went over there, ready to rumble.

Stupid fuck: Yeah, I don´t know how to solve this problem, can´t find the approach.

Me: Ok, if you have a question, I am happy to help you. You can raise your hand, or call my name, just like the other students do. What you cannot do to call me, is snap your fingers, whistle or gesture like a mafioso.

Stupid fuck: What? Why?

Me: Because I am not a dog.

Stupid fuck: Oh, come on. It´s not such a big deal.

Me: Well, you heard me. If you want help, call one of us in an appropriate manner or noone will react.

With these words, I turned around and went back to bench, where my boss was still sitting. I told her what hat happened and luckily, she approved.

The stupid fuck sat there for a while, stared at his paper, then packed his things and went home. I think that he learned his lesson as last week, he raised his hand when he had a question.

--Soft Ice Girl

 

Extreme Couponer Gets Told By Awesome Manager

From LaserSpawn:

OMG! Sunday, a few hours after posting the story about the NATs on Facebook, I got called in to work.

Around 8pm, I had a couponer, like the ones you see on that damn tv show, only without the cameras. She had essentially shut my register down for over an hour while my boss(who I shall call Awesome Possum) and I helped her check out.

Now Awesome Possum came up about half an hour into me checking her out to help bag. Ten minutes later, Awesome Possum tells Couponer that the next time she comes to the store, we wont be able to check her out in multiple transactions.

Couponer is all like, "I do this all the time! ASDFGHJKL;"

Awesome Possum then tells her, "We won't do it because it's not fair to the other customers in the store who are trying to check out as well as it's not fair to the employees who have to push back their breaks until they finish checking you out."

Couponer and Awesome Possum continue their "banter" for a couple more minutes until Couponer goes, "ASDFGHJKL;! These cereals arent coming up the right price!!!"

We then tell her she bought the smaller size box, which is not on sale. Awesome Possum then goes to get the size that IS on sale. 

While Awesome Possum is gone, Couponer tells me, "She was being snobby. She doesn't need to be that way."

To which I'm thinking, "She's being that way because you can't read and you're bitching us out because of it."

When she returns, Couponer is all like, "But all these cereals have the sale price!"

At this time, Awesome Possum starts bagging again. She asks Couponer if she'd like all of the cereals to be exchanged. Couponer says yes. Awesome Possum then asks if I had had a break yet, to which I reply no. She takes over, telling me to go to my break because I'd been here long enough.

When I come back from my break, Couponer was gone. (Thank you, Lady Gaga!)
I was so glad that Awesome Possum stood up to her about that because I was genuinely being nice to Couponer at first, but as we were checking her out, I found myself "playing" nice(I want to keep my job, y'know) because of her inability to read and general selfishness.

Until next time,

--LaserSpawn

Entitled Drive-Thru Custy Wants Free Soda And Gets Told

Hi, RHUers it's StarBitchSoldier again with a tale that really had me angry, but mostly confused.

I was working drive thru in the evening like usual. I get a woman who wants a chicken sandwich. I ask which one and she tells me so I ask if it's a combo or just the sandwich she wants.

She switches back and forth between the two before asking if she can just have a refill of diet coke. I search the order screen for the button for refills because there used to be one but it had been removed from the menu.

I tell her this and she says it's ok and just take off the drink. No problem, so I give her the total and she pulls forward.

I take her card and swipe it and am met with an old Hurls Sr cup sitting on the ledge of the drive thru window.

I hand her the card and ask if it's trash. She gives me this nasty look and says to fill it. Now this cup is nasty, with old soda sticking to it and seeping in the paper under the glue. "With tap water?" I ask.

She gives me an even nastier look before snarling  "no! I want diet coke!"

EXCUSE ME BITCH. HELL NO. This entitled bitch wanted me to just give her free soda. I know it's not a lot pricewise, but like hell I will be taken advantage of by a stupid entitled crusty.

Politely, I tell her I'd need to charge her and give her the amount it would be. She continues to tell me to just fill it with diet coke because "she comes to Hurls Sr all the time and they ALWAYS do it."

What? I highly doubt, no, I know we have NEVER done that for anybody. I tell her I still can't because it is still against policy and that anyone doing that is breaking policy yada yada yada.

She CONTINUES to tell me "they always give me soda! I never had someone turn me down! Just fill it!"

I tell her "I'm sorry, but in the 2.5 years I have worked here, I have never done or seen someone do that. I run the possibility of getting fired if I do."

Then she busts out this gem. "Maybe it's just this restaurant that doesn't do it."

Inner thoughts from this: Wait, what? So you're telling me that EVERY Hurls Sr you have EVER gone to gives you free soda?

That's where most of our profit comes from! From her logic, buying a $2 cup means you get free soda FOR LIFE. Well fuck, SIGN ME UP. I'd never buy soda from the grocery store ever again then!

I stand my ground and refuse to fill it, but offer to talk to the shift leader (New But Cool Girl) in charge (who I know won't give in to this cunt) to "see if she will allow it".

I go to the break room since she's on break but I'm not fighting for this crusty bitch. I flat out tell NBCG a bitch is trying to get free soda. She starts laughing and asks what's going on so I give her a quick rundown and she laughs harder before getting a "hell no, don't give her any" out. Sweet.

So I return to the window and deliver the bad news that no, I can't give her free product. She finally accepts this after a bit more nagging and drives off sans soda.

Yeah, it was only $2 but I got to keep my dignity and not have to bend over for a cheap, entitled bitch.

May all your custys be nice,

--StarBitchSoldier.

McDonalds Drive Thru Retail Balls: Line-cutter Gets Told Via Cops Stun Gun

HOPE MILLS, N.C. -- North Carolina authorities say they used a stun gun on a woman motorist who blocked a McDonald's drive-thru for 20 minutes after employees refused to serve her because she cut in line.

Authorities say 37-year-old Evangeline Lucca bypassed the order screen and line and pulled directly up to the pick-up window Friday afternoon at the restaurant in Hope Mills, about 60 miles south of Raleigh.

Tanna says Lucca was subsequently shocked by deputies and charged with second-degree trespass. A phone listing for the woman couldn't be found.

Authorities say the woman's daughter was taken into protective custody.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

Extreme Coupon Hell: Crazy Custy Attacks Grocery Cashier Over Expired Coupon

The Last Archimedean gets a Retail Balls Award for taking on a Crazy Custy Bitch attacking a Grocery Store Cashier:

The Last Archimedian again. This time I was a customer.

This morning, I head to my local grocery store to pick up a few essentials. I'm standing in line behind a middle-aged lady who *appears* to be normal. Little did I know...

She hands over several coupons to the cashier [who can't be a day over 17, a young girl with a slight build.] The cashier processes the coupons, rings up her items and the lady bags them.

I think I'm about to be rung through when the lady gets her receipt. She says to the cashier after a quick glance at it, "You didn't ring up all of my coupons."

The cashier says, "Yes, ma'am. This coupon is expired [placing one copon back on the counter]. I rang up all the other ones."

The lady transforms into a raging maniac instantly. "RING UP MY COUPON, BITCH!" comes out of her mouth, very loudly.

The cashier is looking scared, but she manages to say, "I can't, ma'am. This coupon is two months expired."

The lady *reaches across and GRABS the cashier by her shirt*, lifting her halfway across the counter. "I SAID RING UP MY GODDAMN COUPON, BITCH! UNDERSTAND?"

I give the lady a death glare. "Let her go, you lunatic!"

A manager comes running over, attracted by the shouting. "Put my employee down, miss!"

The lady doesn't let go. "TELL THE BITCH TO RING UP MY FUCKING COUPON!"

The manager glances at the coupon. "This is expired, miss. Now let her go!"

Still holding onto the cashier, the lady glares at the manager. "NOT UNTIL SHE RINGS UP MY MOTHERFUCKING COUPON!"

I'm getting more than a little pissed off by now, as all I want is to pay for my groceries and go home. I reach out and pry the lady's hands off the cashier [not without a bit of a struggle, as she didn't want to let go], and security -- who must have been summoned by the manager -- arrives seconds later to escort the lady and her paid-for groceries out of the store. The manager looks at me and says softly, "Thanks, pal. If I'd laid a hand on her the crazy bitch probably would have sued."

He hustles off and I say to the cashier in as soothing a voice as I can manage, "Take your time. That was absolutely insane."

The really weird thing? I look at the discarded, expired coupon. It's for *25 cents* off. The crazy lady in front of me had made a giant scene over *twenty five ruddy cents*! I'd have gladly GIVEN her a quarter if it meant she didn't hold up the line and assault the poor cashier!

May all your days be good.

-- The Last Archimedean

 

Restaurant Retail Balls: Management Kicks Out Homophobic Senator

From HuffPo:

The Republican senator at the forefront of Tennessee's controversial "Don't Say Gay" bill proposal has confirmed reports that he was kicked out of a Knoxville eatery by the owner in response to his recent anti-gay remarks.

In a new interview with The David Packman Show, Stacey Campfield said of the incident, "It is true, [The Bistro at the Bijou owner Martha Boggs] asked me to leave. It's unfortunate that some people -- you know -- we can't sit down and talk about issues." (statements occur at about 8:24 in the above clip).

Campfield went on to note, "I always say liberals are the most open-minded people...until somebody actually has a different point of view, and then they sort of freak out and don't know how to handle people with different points of view."

The senator also spoke at length about both the bill itself and a controversial interview he gave last week to Michelangelo Signorile, HuffPost Gay Voices' Editor-at-Large, in which he made some surprising claims about the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the media's supposed "glorification" of homosexuals.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

 

 

Hellspawn N.A.T. Gets Told By Awesome Manager At The Magic Kingdom

So, today was fun.

I literally opened EVERY location in the land of tomorrow (not that it wasn't fun) and had a pretty good time.

The following story involves that rarest of breeds: a manager with a backbone.

See, recently, we got a new manager in our little section of the kingdom, who has been with the company for several years and has previously worked at table service restaurants at some of the swankier hotels.

To be honest, this guy is an awesome manager that I got along with pretty much as soon as I met him. He's just as dorky as I am, he's pretty upbeat, he constantly looks for ways to make things more efficient without trying to overstep his bounds. He's a pretty cool guy.

Now, today, at the hot dog stand, I find out after I went on a potty break that there was a... well, an unruly guest one of the registers next to mine.

I hear from the cashier, A, about how the guest came up and told her that our custodians had thrown away three trays of her food, and she wanted it replaced. That, to both me and her, immediately sent up a red flag.

So, A asks her for a receipt for the order. The girl says that her sister took in on a ride with her. Again, red flag.

She asks the girl how the meal was paid for. The guest says she doesn't know because her dad paid for it. She didn't have a receipt, she didn't know how the meal was paid for, and she expects us to replace three trays worth of food just because she said so???

A said no. The girl threw a FIT and A immediately went and called for a manager. Fortunately for A, and me (I was next to the register when the following happened), Cool Guy Manager (CGM) is the one who steps to the window to address the situation.

So, he walks up and the following happens:

Cool Manger: Yes, I'm the manager here. How may I help you?

ANAT (attempted NAT): Yes, I was here, and the cleaners threw away three trays worth of food, and the girl that

was here earlier was giving me a hard time about getting it replaced. I've been waiting here for hours, and in line for twenty minutes, and my brothers and sisters are starving and we just want the food replaced.

Cool Manager: Okay, do you have a receipt?

ANAT: No, my sister has it on the ride.

Cool Manager: Okay, do you know which register your ordered from?

ANAT: No, my dad did it.

Cool Manager: Okay, well, I need some information so we can replace your order properly, so, which ride is your sister on? Or, perhaps you can go getyour dad?

ANAT: Really? Can I speak to the REAL manager?

Cool Manager: I am the manager, and I'd be happy to help you.

ANAT: But it's JUST FOOD. My brothers and sisters are starving, I thought this was Disney where dreams come true and magic happens, and our food got thrown away and we need it replaced and we've already had a long wait and a hard time with the other girl, so will you just replace it?

[HERE COMES THE BEST PART]

Cool Manager: At this point, without a receipt, no, I can not.

HOLY SHIT A MANAGER ACTUALLY TOLD A GUEST AT DISNEY NO! FUCKING AMAZING. The poor ANAT stomped off with a huff, Cool Guy Manager shrugged, and the whole thing was over. I walked over to it after it was over and gave him a high five for handling the situation in a very calm and professional matter while still refusing to let a girl scam out of god knows how many dollars worth of food.

May you all be blessed with similar managers. Until next time, have a magical day!

--MouseMastered

 

Complainin' Hell's Kitchen Custy Gets Told By Gordon Ramsay

 

Encore repost sent in from Cosmetics Hellhound. Ramsay has Retail Balls made of steel! You go Chef!

 

Donut Shop Management Gets Told For Requiring That Only Men Take Out The Trash

LaughingBarista's BF gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to sexist management:

Hey guys! LaughingBarista here after a long hiatus!

I was so busy with my new job, grad school finals (which kicked my ass but I wound up doing well!) and Christmas stuff so I haven't had a chance to post anything recently. But boy, do I have a doozy for you guys.

So my boyfriend has been at Donuts still this whole time. He's been slaving away (pun intended), especially around the holidays, and was realizing just how much he was unappreciated. He was getting real sick of it but it really started coming to a blow a few weeks ago.

The week of Christmas he took off Christmas Eve because he switched shifts with someone after covering a bunch of theirs, this way he could spend time with his younger siblings. They were closed on Christmas. He worked that Monday and that Wednesday he went in. He was doing his job, assembling for drive-thru while another coworker rang up (someome was making sandwiches but everyone else was screwing around in the back) when the shift leader asked him to take out the garbage.

He politely asked if someone could please do it since he was in the middle of an order or if someone could take over for him so he could do it. The shift leader said no, that he had to do it and that was that.

Like I said, he was in the middle of an order so he went to finish it when Jane (you all remember that bitch) came up to him and asked him what his problem was. He said there wasn't a problem, that he was just doing his job when the shift leader asked him to stop, wouldn't get someone to replace him, so he could do other people's jobs (since everyone else was bullshitting in the back).

You want to know what Jane said? "Well we're women so we don't take out the garbage."

My boyfriend was PISSED. He said something along the lines of this is 2011 (as it was at the time) in America, not 1811. She sent him home.

So when he went to get his paycheck on Friday the manager (who wasn't there) asked for his side of the story. He tells her that he was doing drive-thru, the shift leader asked him to do that while there were many capable people to do it, and that he was sent home because he wouldn't stop helping the drive-thru, even though no one was sent to cover him to take out the garbage. He also shared what Jane said. The manager agreed with him and told him that she knows that he's claned the bathrooms and that's a "woman's job" so why can't they take out the garbage? She takes out the garbage herself so she didn't get it.

Fast forward to yesterday. Boyfriend goes in and is furious because he gets his check and it's really low. It's the check from that week. Now manager has agreed that he should not have been sent home and even Jane apologized for it. Boyfriend thinks that he should be reimbursed for the missing hours of pay. I agreed with him but warned him that he would not be reimbursed as Donuts is an even corporation with no soul at its core. He said he figured as much but that if that was the case, he was going to quit. He felt that it was completely unfair for him to not get paid for hours that he really should have gotten paid for.

So he goes in and talks to the manager and the assistant manager and airs his grievances. They tell him that HE was in the wrong that day and that women aren't supposed to take out the garbage because that is a man's job and as one of the only men there that day (there was another one but oh, he doesn't take out the garbage) it was HIS job to do it, even if it meant leaving the drive-thru. They told him under no circumstance would they give him the money because he was in the wrong.

He quit on the spot, telling them that he worked way too hard to get paid so little and to be treated like shit.

I fully supported his decision and am glad to be rid of those scumbags. I seriously could not believe that one.

Here's to hoping that you guys don't have to deal with stuff like that!

--LaughingBarista

 

Christmas Day Restaurant Hellspawn Destroy Decorations and Get Told

Restaurant_Slave gets a Christmas Day Big Ass Retail Balls Award for confronting out of control Hellspawn destroying decorations...

Well hello RHU'ers, it's been a while, been collecting a few stories to share with all of you!

First off let me start by saying working Christmas Day is a nightmare... The only reason I work it is because we get our hourly rate tripled and get paid the same day. Not many bad things happened this Christmas day luckily, the same inane questions of "why are you working Christmas day you should be with your family!" Um... you've come for a meal? Duh....

We did have one case of a woman complaining about her turkey being overcooked, the vegetables being undercooked, the food not tasting nice etc... There was nothing wrong with her food, and she was the only customer to complain out of 120 turkey dinners that had been sent out.... Bit of a moaning old woman then...

A couple of weeks before Christmas day we had a wedding.... Now I hate serving weddings as well because there are so many little things you have to remember to do... For those of you that have ever done a Silver Service you'll know what a ballache serving a Wedding party of 70 is...

Now the adults themselves were fine but the hellspawn.... 

Fuck me sideways I could have happily bitchslapped the lot of them with a tray. For 6 HOURS myself and the other members of staff put up with the hellspawn running around, screaming, disturbing our other customers, making a mess of the restaurant, running around on bar stools, the cushioned benches in the bar and the bar tables...

But not a single parent told them to stop. I asked nicely several times for them to stop running around because it was dangerous and they could get hurt etc... This carried on until midnight... why midnight you ask?

The wedding party had booked a DJ til 1 am. By the time half 12 came, the hellspawn hyped up on cocacola and whatever alcohol they'd gotten from their absolutely plastered parents had started to destroy our christmas decorations.

I completely lost my temper at that point. I'd put up with running, screaming, mild destruction for 6 hours, but no little hellspawn shit was destroying christmas decorations and ruining it for other customers.

I pretty much shouted "OI!, STOP IT!"

They looked at me, and the ringleader of this little band of shits gave me what can only be described as a "yeah right, fuck you" grin...

So I told their parents, even in their alcohol fuelled state, they finally noticed the little brats were doing something really disrespectful and sorted it out... You'd think I had done the right thing?

Nope. I got bollocked by my manager for trying to stop hellspawn from destroying our christmas decorations...

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with the shit I get from customers, my bosses and manager...

--Restaurant_Slave

 

Entitled Pet Store Custy Wants To Buy Gerbils As Snake Food and Gets Told

YumYum gets a Retail Balls Award for this tale of not giving into an entitled shopper and saving the lives of a few gerbils:

Hi all!  YumYum again...

I posted a long time ago and thought I'd share another retailicious story from my days as a pet shop girl.

One night, about an hour or so before we closed, a girl came in and started looking at our small animals.  I went back and asked if she needed help.  She started to tell me about her boyfriend's snake and said that she needed to buy feeder mice for it.  Well, we had mice in stock, but they weren't intended as food; they were being sold as pets.  I explained this to her and suggested she try one of the larger retailers in the area or a rodent specialty store.  She looked at me blankly for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I just want to buy some of these mice here."  The conversation just went downhill from there.

Me: I thought you were looking for feeder mice.

Her: I am.

Me: Well those aren't food.  They're pets.  You'll have to go to another store to get feeder mice.

Her: These are mice, aren't they?  Why can't I just feed these to my snake?

Me: Because we don't sell our small mammals for food.

Her: Well, fine then.  I want to buy some of these mice as pets.

Me: Um, you already told me you're planning on feeding them to your snake.

Her: Yeah, but if I hadn't told you that you'd have just sold me the mice.  So just forget I said that.

Me: Sorry.  I'm not selling you any mice.

I walked back up to the front and hung out where I had a clear view of her while I waited for more customers to come in.  The assistant manager (Awesome Assistant) had heard part of the conversation and commended me for not selling her the mice. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I realize snakes have to eat, too, and some snakes eat mice.  We just had a store policy that we didn't send any of our mammals home with a customer unless we felt like it was the right home for them.  A home where they were going to be fed to another animal wasn't exactly a safe environment.

So I keep watching this chick and she's still hanging around the mice, and watching my every move.  Any time I'd turn my head to greet a customer and look back, she had her hands on the mouse cage and would pull them away when she saw me watching her.  Great...another NAT-to-be.

My assistant manager had gone into the back to finish up the day's paperwork before we closed, so it was just me and one of the New Salesgirls.  I pulled her aside (where I could still see Snake Girl) and pointed her out, explaining the situation and my suspicions. 

After that, either one or both of us had our eyes locked on her wherever she went in the store.  Finally she ended up by the gerbils...which my Hosebeast Store Manager (not to be confused with Awesome Assistant) had decided to put in an open-top glass enclosure.  Sure enough, Snake Girl kept reaching into the enclosure and "playing" with the gerbils, watching us closely. 

After about 10 minutes she gave up and left...only to return with her boyfriend, who cornered me and started asking me if mice made good pets because he was thinking of getting a couple.

I motioned for New Salesgirl to keep an eye on Snake Girl while I explained to this man that his girlfriend already told us that they were planning to feed the mice to their snake and our mice were not food.  He started to deny that she was his girlfriend, when I heard a commotion by the gerbils. 

Apparently, Snake Girl had picked one up and was yelling at New Salesgirl for telling her to put it down.  I finally told her that she'd have to leave since we wouldn't be selling her anything that night.

And wouldn't you know, she and her boyfriend came back the next day and tried to buy the mice from a couple of my coworkers.  Fortunately, they'd already heard the story and a description of the couple so she didn't have any luck with them either.

Until next time, fellow slaves...

--YumYum

 

Foul-Mouthed Custy Mom Gets Told and Prompts RHU Discussion: How Do You Handle Swearing Custys?

Number 672 gets a Retail Balls Award for having the courage to speak up to a mom swearing in front of her child:

Number 672 here!

So, it's been a while since I've written, but believe it or not, working the PetShart has been mostly uneventful. This doesn't mean I don't hate it, but there's nothing extra-special awful that stands out. Certainly, nearly every single customer I meet is ignorant, and the chemicals have been giving me skin problems, but other than that, it's not so bad.

I write today for one reason: I hate Christmas.

Christmas brings out the very worst in people, and I've been catching a good dose of that at work. At a job where, though stupid, the customers are generally polite, I've had to deal with pissy, swearing customers more in the past week and a half than in the rest of my time there. My boyfriend compares me to a rabbit in temperament, and I get anxious quickly, so dealing with customer intimidation is an issue for me. Three times have customers felt the need to drop the F-bomb at me or someone else, and so I have to ask: how do you deal with customers who feel the need to swear?

The first time, it wasn't even remotely my fault. A manager told a customer we would have a certain item the next day, but the item sold. Why no, the manager didn't put it on hold for him or anything. Yes, my manager was wrong. No excuse for the guy to go off with, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"

The second time, well, this one may have been on me. Our live animal return policy is that you need to have the animal, whether alive or dead, (and the contract you received with the animal, except for fish which don't get a contract) and the receipt.

A man comes in with three fish he purchased that seem to have a skin fungus, and he's already in a foul mood about it, saying we sold him "rotten fish."

My coworker and I are trying to deal with him, but he says he doesn't have one of the receipts for the fish. We look at the receipt he does have- three fish listed. We look at the three fish- they seem to match the ones on the receipt.

Confused, I ask the man, "Okay, where's the fish you don't have a receipt for?"

He replied, "I'm telling you, I don't have the receipt!"

This quickly devolves. To quote Full Metal Jacket, "What we have here is a failure to communicate." He gets it in his head that I'm refusing to do the return, and finally explodes with, "Bitch, it's a fuckin' dollar!"

Every word I say in attempts to explain end with, "It's a fuckin' dollar!"

This guy is loud, so the manager has heard him and approaches. As the man tries to explain what's happening, I offer the manager my side of the story, only to be cut off with, "Fucking bitch, I'm talking to him!"

That's about when I walked away. The manager gets his situation worked out (after threatening to kick the guy out of the store, but not following through) and the guy apologizes before he leaves, but it doesn't change the fact.

Last, it was a lady and her six or seven year old son. It's past nine on a Tuesday night, and she's letting the kid pick a fish for his fishbowl. He doesn't like the bettas (which are the only fish who can live in a fishbowl. No. The only ones. Nothing else will survive. Nobody listens to me when I say this.) She is clearly impatient with him, and finally says, "Hurry the fuck up! I've got to get somewhere!"

Was it aimed at me? No. But I'm a teacher at heart, and I can't stand to see kids treated like that. I find the guts to say, "Ma'am, that kind of language is inappropriate, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain."

She looks at me and says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to my son. MY son."

I can only fire back, "Yeah, but still." (Oh, insufferable staircase wit!) Listen, lady, I'm not trying to parent your child, but the fact is that she wouldn't be happy if he started repeating it. (Also, where could she possibly have to be past nine on a weeknight?)

So, I posit this question- what is the appropriate way to handle a customer swearing?

Peace, love, and candy,

--672

Escape From Burger Hell Not Without Drama: Asshat GM Gets Told

Beautifulburgerthing gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to an asshat GM:

Hey all, Beautifulburgerthing.

So haven't posted in awhile. But with good news! I'm free! I have officially left retail hell. For how long I"m not exactly sure. But I'm out! But not without some strife.

So my second last shift was a Friday afternoon/lunch shift. Something like 11-3. So they keep me just to take care of the busy time and then tell me to fuck off. Ok, whatever, gets me 4 hours at $10.25 (min wage here). So basically $40 before taxes and everything. Not bad. Not great when I spend $6 bussing there and back home and a further $5 roughly on food, but whatever. "In this job market I should be happy I have a job" *slits wrists*.

So I show up and we are already knee deep in shits-ville. Line up is huge, lots of students and various other downtownies. So I even clock in 5 minutes early (haven't done that since I found out they don't count that 5 mins towards pay!!!) and I wash my hands and take stock of garnish. I look to see what Margy needs. Ok, almost out to tomatoes, low on lettuce, low on onions. So what do I do?
 
If you said, walk away to my given station (expeditor, so cash or garnish as is needed, which was cash ATM) So I run to the back fridge where all the toppings are kept, only to see this, NO LETTUCE OR ONIONS in bowls!!! Wonder-fucking-ful. Means I have to make bowls of each before I can be useful up front. (please note I wasn't asked to do any of this by a supervisor/manager) So I as quickly as I can I make a bunch of bowls of lettuce and onions and bring those up front along with tomatoes and put away the extra bowls.

You'd think I'd get a "thank you BBT, that's awesome, I would have never gotten to that and I was nearly out!" (Well I did from Margy because she is the cutest little older lady I've ever met aside from my own grandma) Whereas my GM (I've complained about her asshat-ery before I think) looked at me and said "BBT you need to work faster, you were too slow getting up here with three bowls of stuff" When trying to explain that I was actually filling 3-4 bowls quickly so we'd have more when we ran out (which was every 30 mins or so btw) She just scoffs turns her back on me and barks to me to get to cash. (Which I was already doing.....)

Fast forward roughly 5 mins later, she is literally screaming at me INFRONT OF CUSTOMERS to get to garnish to help Margy out. (Again I already was). At this point I had had enough and I flipped.

I told her that I was tired of not being treated equally. I was constantly belittled and badgered about everything. I'd had enough of it. She then looks at me and says this little gem: "You don't seem to value your job. I can easily fire you and find someone to replace you quickly".

I guess she expected me to roll over and grovel for my job. Oh fucking no I didn't!! I looked her dead in the eye (this is also in front of all the customers and ALL my coworkers that shift) and told her "I can walk right the fuck out of this place right now and leave you so fucked up the ass you'll be tasting c*ck for a week. The threat you made about being under probation and you can get rid of me at any time goes two fucking ways! I can quit without notice too!"

At this point she grabs me by the elbow. Yes, you read that right.. GRABBED me.

I guess she assumed it would be "calming" but it just pissed me off (I have anxiety and PTSD, unwanted touches make me REALLY go off the deep end).

I shrugged off her hand once, told her not to touch me, but she grabbed me again, I shrugged her off again, and told her this:

"If you touch me one more time, I can charge you with assault. I do NOT want you to touch me, and you have no right to touch me. I have multiple witnesses so kindly back the fuck off of me."

After that she left me alone and was very cheery and kind to me... Hmmmmmm guess she really wanted me to work for her. But I typed up my resignation that night, and handed it to her the next day. She read it and attempted to get me to stay, I told her to take this job and shove it. It wasn't worth my self-respect.

I will continue to lurk my darlings. I will miss some of the fun from retail but I won't miss that job.

All the luck in the continuing days/week leading up to Christmas.

--Beautifulburgerthing

 

 

Drive-Thru Robber Gets Told: Barista Fights Back and Clobbers Him With Coffee Pot

PITTSBURGH -- Police say a worker at a drive-thru coffee shop near Pittsburgh smashed a glass pot over the head of a man who tried to climb through the window to rob the business.

Police in Ross Township have continued to look for the man who tried to rob the Island Bean coffee shop in Ross Township, north of the city. They also say the encounter was caught on surveillance video.

Police say workers at first fought back by throwing towels at the man Wednesday morning. When that didn't work, one worker hit him in the head with the pot.

Authorities believe the man sped away in a stolen car.

The workers were unhurt, and police are still investigating.

via www.huffingtonpost.com

 

Here's the lastest juicy details:

 

 

Crazy Custy Gets Told In Rite Aid Drive Thru

A Former Pharmacy Slave gets a Retail Balls Award for "killing" a crazy lady crusty with "kindness" in the hellacious drive-thru tale:

So a few years ago I was working in as a pharmacy tech at Aide Rite. Most of our customers were nice, normal people. Well, there was the lady who used to come in with kittens in her pocket, but she let us play with them so I liked her.

Anyways, there was this one crusty custy who was a raging biotch. She was on a plethora of mood stabilizing meds and they clearly weren't working. Every time she was in, she had a problem with something.

One night I had the pleasure of dealing with her through the drive through. She said her doctor was to have faxed over her scripts but nothing was there.

I asked if she knew the name of the med and she named one that's a controlled substance, which by law cannot be faxed. The doctor has to give the patient a prescription slip and they give it to us. She insisted her doc had faxed it last month. Seeing as she had so many meds, I could see she probably got confused. I told her there was no way the doctor faxed that one and checked the computer.

Sure enough, she had brought in the Rx. I relayed that info. Now there's a line of cars behind hers. I ask if she could please come in to sort this our (and so I can show her the Rx) and she refused and started honking her horn in anger. She told me to check the fax machine again.

I told her there was absolutely no way it was faxed over. Now she's honking and screaming and becoming unhinged.

She said, "Maybe it fell on the floor. Check the floor."

I said, "Ma'am, it did not fall on the floor because it was not faxed over."

Now cars are hanging out in a busy street waiting in line.

She hissed at me "CHECK. THE. FLOOR. NOW."

I told her to please go home and call her doctor because she left without her script and there wasn't anything further I could do about it. She screamed at me "You call my doctor!" I replied "I am not going to call your doctor because one of you forgot to get a controlled substance prescription. That's between you and the office. Please either come in to the store or go home and call your doctor." She screeched and started banging on her steering wheel. 

Now this is where I admit to poking the caged lion. I got on the speaker and said, "Have a great night!" with a big ole smile plastered on my face. My coworkers just about lost it at that point.

When I came in for my next shift, the pharmacist pulled me aside and told me the lady called corporate and complained that I told her to have a great night.

--Former Pharmacy Slave

Scotrail Passenger Comes To The Aid of Ticket Inspecter After Non Paying Passenger Refuses To Leave

 

Scotsman Rule. From Mouse Mastered.

 

 

Enititled Bitch Custy Gets Told By Riferous

Riferous gets a Retail Balls Award for taking out an Entitled Bitch Custy at Target:

Wassup RHU?

I was in the local Target today, returning some headphones that sounded like crap (what did I expect for seven bucks, I guess).  In front of me was one patiently waiting woman and one Entitled Bitch. She didn't appear to be at first, but it didn't take long for the entitlement to reveal itself.

Entitled Bitch was attempting to return, as it turned out, an iPod shuffle.  Without a receipt.  With a lot of things, from what I gathered from the two clerks helping her, it would be no problem to at least give an in store credit, but naturally with an electronic item, there's a problem.  They even have this nifty look up thingy that will let them look up transactions by credit card number, which they offered to do. But no, Entitled Bitch's mother had purchased it with her Target card.  

Return Clerk (RC) said that they could look up the transaction with Enititled Bitch's Mom's card, but alas, EB Mom lives and hour and a half away and that wouldn't work.  RC even said if they even had the number they could type it in.

Entitled Bitch is well dressed in the kind of outfit that says she or hubby has good money to spend on bland beige jackets, so I assume that somewhere in her overpriced handbag she has a cell phone and has the option of calling EB Mom.  But no, that would just make sense!  And why should she have to go to all that trouble?

So after seeming so patient, well, at first, anyway, for the five minutes RC has been attempting to help her (and she did go out of her way in my opinion), Enititled Bitch decided that she was not getting what she was entitled to, and engaged Bitch Mode.

"See, this is why - you're returns are just so - I always have problems here.  I don't like shopping here, and I am not going to shop here any more!"  There are two more people who have joined the line behind me, making a total of four people that Entitled Bitch is holding up at this point.  

Consider my buttons pushed.

I cut her off mid-sentence with "BRING A RECEIPT NEXT TIME."  

I know I shocked the shit out of her because she stopped talking and took a full three seconds before she turned around to look at me with That Face.  You know the face, the one where some entitled whore just absolutely can not believe that someone dared to point out that she might be - *gasp* - WRONG.

"It was a gift!"

In about three nanoseconds I put together that this was a gift, from her mother, likely to one of her litter of entitled crotch spawn, who decided that a 2 GB iPod shuffle was NOT what they were entitled to, and Enitled Bitch had decided that Target owed it to her to take it back because she said so.  A gift.  A. Gift.  And she was giving RC hell for doing her job. 

Unfortunately I was only able to come back with "Don't bring it back if you can't follow the rules", but I did manage to completely ignore her as I walked to the register and she left quickly and quietly, probably seething with anger that some rude prick dared to speak to her in that manner in public.  I like to think that she complained loudly to her husband, who pretended to listen to her and calm her down so that he could get the blow job he was entitled to.

RC clerk said "Thanks", and I said "I just want to return this" as I handed her my headphones WITH THE RECEIPT.  Even though I had opened them she processed the transaction without a hitch and I went on my merry way, thinking about how good it felt to be able to say something to someone who truly deserved it.

Until next time, stay classy RHU!

--Riferous

Country Club Hell: Asshole Custy Gets Tasty Comeuppance

Hey, RHU! Long time reader, first time listener, blah, blah, blah ;)

I wanted to post this because I haven't really seen anything on this site having to do with this area of "retail." From the ages of 14-21, I worked at a country club, first as a caddy and then as a bag staff employee.

I absolutely LOVED this job. It was seriously the greatest thing that could have happened to me at that age. I bought my own car when I was 16, it kept me out of trouble, and I made a lot of contacts that I still maintain to this day.

However, with all the great things, also came some bad (and usually funny) things. I'm here to share with all of you the ups and downs of working at a country club. Hopefully you guys find these entertaining and funny. I also have worked my fair share of retail, and I still work retail part time to this day (along with a "normal" 7-3 job.) I actually love my current retail job (probably because I'm only there part time,) but I'll definitely keep you guys posted if anything super-crazy happens!

Oh, and by the way, I'll be henceforth known as BallShagger (sounds naughty, but it is actually golf-course related.)

/preface over

Okay, now to the story :) When you think of a country club member, what do you think? A crotchety, tight-ass, cheap old man? Probably. However, this stereotype is often not accurate. 95% of the members at this particular club were extremely cool, nice, generous, and a general pleasure to be around. The other 5% were the stereotype, though. The subject of this story, however, was (and still is) a complete asshole. He deserved what happened to him in this story. This was actually relayed to me by my friend Phil, who also worked at the country club, but it's still hilarious.

So, Phil was caddying for this particular member, who will be henceforth known as Steve. Steve apparently became thirsty at some point during his round of golf, and asked Phil to fetch him a refill of his water. Okay, no problem...right?

Well, off to a bit of a sidetrack. There are water fountains scattered on various holes of this course (henceforth known as Riverside Country Club, or RCC.) However, these water fountains would seem to be out for repair constantly, leaving nothing but pipes where the water fountains SHOULD be.

On another sidetrack, most golf courses have water hazards, which golfers like to avoid. Our particular water hazards had an artificial blue dye added to it, along with a shitload of algae. Moral of story: this was some nasty ass water. You're probably wondering why I'm talking about water fountains and water hazards on a golf course, but it will soon become painfully clear.

Back to Phil and Steve; they were on Hole #7 when Steve requested a refill of his water. Now, normally, there is a water fountain at the tee box of Hole #7. Was there one that day? Of course not. For some reason, it was gone. Luckily for Phil, there was a water hazard at the end of Hole #6 (which is adjacent to Hole #7.) So he, in his great knowledge, decided to fill the cup at the hazard at the water hazard of Hole #6, instead of risking a barrage of demeaning words of Steve for having returned with no water. Steve, though, was blissfully unaware of the situation and proceeded to imbibe the water that Phil gathered at the hazard.

Apparently, Steve immediately spit out the nasty-ass water and threw the cup in the garbage, guessing that the water was from the (missing) fountain at Hole #7. He just ingested water that contained organisms that probably haven't even been discovered yet.

Like I said, this guy is an asshole. Hopefully he caught some disease from drinking that horrible water.

Well, that's it for this story. I usually use this story as sort of an icebreaker. Don't worry, though, I have plenty of stories of asshole members, lazy-ass coworkers, a seemingly omniscient boss, and much more.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time!

--Ball Shagger

 

The Season's First Retail Balls Award: Lying Furniture Store Custy Gets Told

Angie gets the first Retail Balls Award of Holiday Hell and of course it's over a return!

Angie gets a RBA not for what she said to the custy, but for the action she took when she caught the custy in a horrible lie:

Hi, It's Angie, trying to survive in Furniture Store Hell.

OK, so this time of year we get lots of bogus returns. My guess is that people run out of money for holiday gifts and dig around for things to return so they have some extra cash or store credit. 

A woman in her early twenties calls and asks about returning a chair. I will call her Ashley. I get all her info and look up her order. It was a custom made chair meaning she picked the fabric, a pink and gray print, not likely to sell in our store on it's own.

This is why we do not take returns on custom orders. She also has had the chair for almost six months. I ask her why she wants to return it and she says it's not comfortable, she just doesn't want it.

She claims the chair has a defect and that's why it's not comfy. So, the return policy is explained to her and I ask her why she waited six months to let us know there was a problem. She pauses. She's thinking.

Well, my dad was sick and died of cancer. I was dealing with all that and couldn't bring back the chair!

I have a feeling she is lying but what can I do? So I get management approval to return the chair for her. She's happy and says she will bring in the chair later that day. We hang up but a few minutes later and I decide to call her back and remind her to bring the credit card she purchased it on so we can process the return.

After so many months it is not likely on file. I look at her order and see there are actually two phone numbers listed. A cell and a home number.

The cell is out of service so I try the other number. I was not surprised when an older man answered.

I ask for Ashley and he says she is not home. So I ask..is this Ashley's dad?

Yes it sure is, can he help me with something?

I explain that I am with the furniture store and ask to leave a message with him for Ashley that we will not be able to return the chair after all and to call me if she has any questions.

He is pleasant and says he will call her cell and let her know.

For a second I consider telling him the cancer story but I don't. We don't hear from her about the return again. I tell my manager the story and he is happy I told her she couldn't return and he is pissed because last year his dad really did die of cancer.

Can't really say I hope Karma catches up with her but maybe it was a lesson, but likely not.

Stay safe over the holiday everyone...

--ANGIE

 

Rude Doctor's Office Custy Gets Told

Evie gets a Retail Balls Award for not only banning a verbally abusive custy from her office, but also for trying to give the bitch amazing service:

Oh lawd.

A little preface: I'm in the position of handling "customer complaints" at the doctor's office here.  I guess I have a sweet voice?  Most of the time I can take an angry client and get them calmed down enough to tell me what's wrong, and then fix it.  But sometimes you just get one of THOSE kinds...

Anyways the other day I get this transfer and I guess we'll have to call her Miss Rage.  Before I can ask her name, she lights into me.  "Is this the office manager?  CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY I'M GETTING A  BILL, ALL YOUR EMPLOYEES ARE IDIOTS."

Evie:  -soothing- "What bill is that?"

MR: "Well YOU should know, shouldn't you?  I mean you run this place right?"

Evie: "What was your name again?  I'm so sorry."

MR: -massive put upon sigh, sound of drumming fingernails- "ONCE AGAIN, Miss Rage!"

Evie: "Alright hon, let me look at your file here.  Looking, still looking...  okay, I see your file, and your account is current with us.  We haven't sent you any statements."

MR: "It is RIGHT HERE, it says it has to do with my checkup, and it has -Name of Labwork Company- on the top!"

Evie: "Oh I see!  Well, have you tried speaking with -Labwork Company-?" 

MR: "Yeah I already told your other employees that, and they just transferred me to some ghetto woman who does your labwork, and she was trying to tell me to call such and such and it is just BULLSHIT, you're  the doctor, you did my checkup, you should know what's going on."

Evie:  "Um... I tell you what.  How about I call -Labwork Company- for you and see if I can't figure out what the bill is for?  Would that help?"

MR: "I GUESS SO, HUH?! And you'll call me back, right?  I hope it's soon.  Also tell that ghetto employee of yours to have some respect."

I called the Labwork Company, and told them the patient's name and DOB.  They find the bill and explain to me that she has a deductible and needs to pay for about 20% of the tests.  I ask if it could be a mix up, and they state that she would have to demonstrate it's a mix up and file an appeal to dispute the bill with them.  Since I don't work for Labwork Company, and don't do their billing, I need to get this patient to calm down and call them. 

I also go to speak with the employee she complained about, who has been an employee here for 11 years, is consistently helpful but also doesn't take any shit.  We'll call her Miss Dee.  Miss Dee goes, "Oh, Miss Rage?  Yeah she got transferred to me by the front desk, and she goes, 'Well I don't know why they transferred me to YOU' and then when I tried to help her, she started cussin' and carryin' on and called me a ghetto bitch, then hung up on me."  Oh NO she didn't. 

No offense, but I protect my employees here.  If someone I don't know from Adam decides to get abusive with my people on the phone, well guess what?  They're no longer welcome here.  Zero tolerance. 

I discussed what happened with the business owner, then I sent Miss Rage a sweet little dismissal letter saying she had 30 days to find another doctor.  Then I called and left a message for her to contact Lab Company.

Monday morning I have a message from her... a little nasty but nothing like the other day.  She calls back Tuesday and I explain, as helpfully as I can, why she needs to call Lab Company to get her business sorted out.  She launches off into why it's my responsibility, and I tell her once again, I don't work for them, she needs to call THEM.  Then she tells me she got our dismissal letter.

MR: "And I get this letter saying I need to find another doctor.  Do YOU  know what this is about?"

Evie:  "Well, I spoke to the employee you had complained about, and she told me what you said to her on the phone."

MR:  "And do you have a recording of this?  Can you prove I said anything?"

Evie: -thinking, Bitch you're ugly enough to me on the phone- "I protect my employees here.  She said you were abusive."

MR: "Well ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT.  I complain about her and then SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT ME. So it's just her word versus mine, and you're taking her side?!"

(First of all, I didn't tell Miss Dee that Miss Rage complained about her.  I just asked Miss Dee what had happened with Miss Rage, and Miss Dee told me, and her version sounded suspiciously like how Miss Rage talked to ME... but with more cursing.  Second of all, I've never even met Miss Rage, and I've known Miss Dee since I was a little girl.  So hell yes I'll take her word over MR's any day. Anyways...)

Evie:  "I trust Miss Dee.  She's a good employee."

MR: "Well I want to complain!"

Evie: "Um... go ahead?  I'm not sure that's going to help, but feel free."

MR: "I wanna know why I'm being dismissed when you don't have any proof!"

Evie:  "Because it's clear this business relationship isn't working out."

MR: -slams phone down-

I think I kept my cool pretty well, but I was maybe a little brusque with her towards the end there.  I'm worried she's going to try and trash our business online or something, but I guess I had to choose the lesser of two evils.  I'd rather have Miss Dee feel safe and happy than keep one pissy client on the books.  What do you guys think?

--Evie