This story was originally posted on: September 03, 2009
We are giving out a second Retail Balls Award to Art Store Slave!!! (Her first one can be viewed here). In this hellish tale, she has an encounter with some bible thumpers and the way she handled them is totally retailicious! You go Art Slave! Tell those custys:
Lately, my boss has been using me more and more for non customer encountering jobs as he's finally realized my complete loathing of our idiotic customers.
Anyways, after successfully avoiding people for the majority of the day last week I was in a pretty good mood. So of course that means its an awesome idea to put me on register. No big deal right?
Well, that day we had our favorite Bible thumping solicitors coming in to harass my manager for free art supplies so they could paint a mural to their "lord and savior."
Whatever. I'm an atheist, courtesy of 3 years of Biology and an ounce of intelligence, but to each their own. I grit my teeth and dealt with it when they decided to purchase a tube of paint. I figured it'd be over shortly and their pudgy, judgmental, hypocritical selves would be gone soon. (They've been in ranting about things before like how abortion is so wrong, though when I asked if they'd adopt their response was, "Well of course not!" ... ???)
Anyways, the transaction is completed in record setting time but do they leave? ... Noooo.
Halfway through ringing them up they got into a conversation (there was two of them) about how they long to follow the path of Jesus.
But, despite the now three people waiting in line behind them they continued on about how following his footsteps and spreading his word would be so "lovely," etc.Terri8a
After about two minutes, I was done. The other normal customers were waiting, and my tolerance of bullshit was at an all time low.
My final response and attempt to get them to leave?
"You know, if you two fine lady's are so set in following HIS path, we do have some nails and ply wood in the framing department."
Me of course implying that I'd be more than happy to see their lard asses nailed to a cross.
This was met by the "deer caught in headlights" stare, quickly grabbing their bag, and mumbling something about how some people just can NOT be saved.
Once gone the other three customers reacted:
1. Snorted with laughter
2. Loudly said "Thank GOD they're gone" (which I found mildly ironic) and
3. Just shook his head and said, "I love coming here. "(He's a tattoo artist I always ring up, he's cool.)
My manager didn't have much to say and within ten minutes I was back in the stock room.
I'd say lesson learned.
Oh, and they never got their free paint for their mural, apparently they didn't want it after that.
That's one of the best Customer Comeback lines we've heard! You've got some holy Retail Balls Art Slave! And you did it in a total Customer Service way by not being mean, angry, or rude and offering them extra store advice. Jesus would be so proud.
If you've told a Custy or Manager, we want to hear it about it! firstname.lastname@example.org