I cannot understand how some people function on a day to day basis when they're giant morons.
Cue customer today, who will be referred to as Dense Bitch. Dense Bitch comes through my line and buys a couple random things, including a container of jewelry crimps (important) and uses a 5$ off 20$ coupon, because her total came to roughly 24$.
She comes back about an hour later, and decides she does not in fact want the crimps, and wants the full price back ($3.79). I explain to her that she won't get that amount back, because she used a coupon and thus the amount she actually paid and the return value was $2.95. I showed her where it said this on the receipt.
Dense Bitch: "I don't understand. I want the full $3.79 back because that's what I paid."
Me: "It's not though, see, it says here you only paid $2.95 so that's all you're going to get back because you used a coupon."
Dense Bitch: "But I paid $3.79 I want $3.79 back."
Me: *internally screaming*
MOD calls up a second MOD, one of higher status in the store, and since there's now a line of about six people forming behind her they move over to the next register. I proceed to check customers out, all while listening to BOTH of them try and explain to Dense Bitch exactly why she won't be getting that $3.79 back. She finally decided after 5 minutes of arguing (and rather huffy) that she was just going to return everything, then buy it all back minus the crimps and use the coupon again. MOD tries to tell her that the coupon will then not work because it won't quite be 20$ after tax at that point.
They argue for another five minutes before Dense Bitch FINALLY understands what they've been trying to get through her thick skull for the past ten minutes.
Dense Bitch apologizes profusely, pays for her shit and leaves.
I sincerely hope she doesn't come back when I'm working. She's exhausting.