Retail Hell Underground

Greeter Bitch Advises What Not To Do At A Car Dealership

Hello again! I posted once before under the moniker 'Faceless Applicant', but since then I have been able to find a job. A decent one, too! Now I'm a receptionist at a car dealership and have been for a few months, so I guess now you can call me Greeter Bitch.

For a bit of background, our dealership is open on Sundays, and is one of the only dealerships that does this. I'm not complaining, a good chunk of my hours come from the Sunday shift, but it makes things a bit difficult when half of the salespeople have the day off and we get about the same amount of customers as we would on a Saturday (the busiest day for car sales).

The major problem is this; some customers obviously don't know how things work at a car dealership. So here are some tips to those lovely custys who need a bit of a nudge in the right direction;

1) Buying a car, even looking at buying a car, takes time. Please do not come into the dealership when you only have 15 minutes. You can't test drive the car or talk about the price in 15 minutes, and because your visit will be logged our salespeople's numbers will fall because of it.

2) Speaking of logging information, please do not get defensive when we ask for your information. I can understand not wanting to get emails; we can leave notes on the profiles asking them not to contact you, but asking for a name and phone number is pretty standard.

3) Please don't walk right by me. I am sitting in a big desk in the middle of the showroom for a reason; I am supposed to take your name and then direct a salesperson to you. Don't just grab a salesperson; they may be busy with someone else.

4) For the love of God, don't come in any later than 30 minutes before closing. That's being generous. Car shopping is time consuming, and even after you have decided on a car you need to haggle the price. The average customer spends about 1 hour in our showroom, and we can't leave until the customers have left. This leads to some of us (Mainly the managers and myself and whatever salesperson is working there) staying for an hour or more after our shifts should have ended.

4a) Don't come in after we have closed. We can't lock the doors while there are still customers inside, but our hours are posted at every door. Find your humanity and come back another day.

5) Last but not least, if you have bad credit and you know it, bring a cosigner. If you know you will need to talk it over with your spouse before making a decision, bring them. If you are going to be on the phone with them, or you have to come back another day it makes an inconvenience for us as well as it does for you. No one likes it when people are here for an hour past closing trying to close the sale, and then they (and we) realize that they will need a cosigner before they can continue (this has happened multiple times).

Sorry for the long post, but I've needed to rant for the past few weeks, and I'm trying to not attack a certain manager, yet. Maybe another time, in another post. For now, may all your customers be understanding and your shifts short.

--Greeter Bitch

Anderson Cooper Live: Freeman On Retail Ripoffs

 

 

 

Hello RHU!

I had a blast on Anderson Cooper Live! Here are the video clips of my segments in case you missed it. As we all know there are many retail rip-offs and these were the favorite of his awesome producers. Anderson and his team were amazing, really nice friendly, fun people and they all put me at ease. And to answer a question I'm sure that will show up in the comments: Yes, the silver fox is even hotter in person! lol And to asnwer another question in comments: Stacy London is fabulous and I was thrilled to be sitting next to her, especially after she said how she loved that I called my former employer "The Big Fancy!" 

 

 

Holiday Shoppy Gears Up: And So Do the Crazy Custys

I went to the store in the early afternoon on Sunday. Naturally it was pretty busy, with people doing their shopping for their weekly food supply (and maybe for Thanksgiving food supply.) I saw some pretty bizarre things in that one trip then I normally do while shopping.

1. People nearly causing accidents for parking spots. Saw one person try to park in the same spot as the cart return thing. Now, in their defence, if a large SUV or something of the like parks next to it, it can be tricky to see if you are unfamiliar with the parking lot. But this person, in his fancy BMW, thought he was being slick by cutting someone off for it. His car did not look too pretty after that.

2. Someone ran over a cart that was left in the middle of the parking lot.

3. Saw someone harassing the Salvation Army door jingler person. I get that the little bell can be annoying if you hear it a lot, but the person is just doing their job. No reason to yell at the poor person. I brought the bell ringer a coffee and some chocolate chip cookies on my way out. McDonald's kind, so cost me all of $2 and change. Put the rest of my change from the $5 I used in the money pot. Sure it was my ciggy money, but figured it was better used that way. (Trying to quit anyways!)

4. While waiting in line, saw a young mother with a baby in the front of her cart. Child couldn't have been no older than 3. Baby didn't have the belt on and the mother was too busy on her cellphone. Baby stands up once, an employee warns the mother. Baby stands up twice, I warn the mother. Baby stands up a third thing and before I can say something again, baby takes a tumble right out of the cart. Baby hit her head on one of the end-cap shelves. Baby cut her head open. Lots of crying and screaming and blood. FINALLY the mother puts her phone away and starts screaming that she is going to sue the store for hurting her child. I stuck around to talk to the LP guys about it since I knew them from working in the same store once upon a time ago. Not sure if the mother is really going to sue, but pretty certain that baby needed some stitches in her head. (I know head wounds tend to bleed more, I had the first hand experience when my son busted his open on the corner of a sidewalk. Even if the baby didn't need stitches, the mother was recommended to take her baby to the ER. I really hope she did cause she hit her head pretty hard.)

5. When leaving, I had a car wait right when I stopped at my car to put the groceries in the trunk. There was a spot like...8 parking spots down, but he wanted mine because I managed to score a front row parking spot. I had a full, FULL, FULLLLLLL cart. Naturally it took me awhile, even though I was trying to hurry. I had to play tetris with my trunk and bags (I have a small trunk and 75% of it is taken up by a stroller.) Not even a minute into it, the guy starts honking at me and yelling at me to hurry up. And of course I always return my carts to the proper place. Parked kind of far from one, so I walked my happy ass back into the store to return it. Guy was still sitting there, fuming. 5 minute process...he could of parked in the other spot and been inside by then. Ugh! (I didn't even hurry up with the leaving part either, instead I got in my car, put seat belt on, drank a sip of soda, grabbed a ciggy and lit up, put the radio on a new station, THEN left. I'm horrible, I know, but still felt good.)

6. Lastly...it took me 10 mins to get out of the damn parking lot. Was...tiring!

Three hours later I make it home...Tank thought I got lost. (Even though I texted him stating I was on my way home, but he was too busy playing a video game with my son and letting my baby color on his arms.)

Let the holidays begin! (Though...my mom is already done Christmas shopping for the kids...been done since August!)

<3 Karebear

Seniors Denied

 

Majuba Shares Some Behavior Guidelines

Stole this off a workmate because I thought you might get a giggle from it!

A Guide To Conducting Yourself Respectfully and Responsibly Within A Supermarket

Entering the store:

There are certain things you should observe upon entering a supermarket.

1. Appropriately Dressing for your grocery outing.

Two very important things to remember...

A) Less is more

B) Deodorant is indeed a part of an outfit.

Men: If you’re a bit larger than your average man... or a dirty junkie. Shorts that at least go to your knees nothing worse than a fat man in speedos thinking he's heaps hot and everyone else seeing the tackle he hasn't been able to find in years.

Any man: A shirt... You could have abs of steel courtesy of the "If you've got a door, you've got a gym" dude... doesn't mean that you shouldn't be wearing a shirt in a public shopping center where they serve fresh food. You can't work in a restaurant without a shirt on... Why should you be allowed to lean over produce with your sweaty, shirtless torso?

Women: Fat or not... it's not okay to wear the skirt you found in the cupboard that just barely covers your vagina. No one likes to see you vagina while you're trying to work out whether you want full cream or low fat milk. Also don't wear the shirt that just covers your nipple and shows your stretch marks. Please do wear a shirt.

2. There are signs designating a specific entry point.

Don't push your way past other customers who are loading groceries onto checkouts and give the cashier a sheepish ‘I'm sorry I'm a lazy dumbass’ look just because you will save 2 seconds by entering the store this way.

A) It's rude, especially when you leave all sense of moral at home and act as if the person meant to be there is in your way and

B) You're probably fat so the extra 2 meters won't hurt you... but I wouldn't count on it helping either.

3. Bringing children into the store.

As much as I hate parents putting children on those stupid leash backpacks. If you cannot control your little fuck trophies... cage them.

By cage them I mean shove them in the trolley and don't let them out... if they scream and cry I recommend the use of this amazing thing called duct tape... failing that use plan b... no not the morning after pill (it's a little late for that if you have them in the supermarket)... Don’t scream at them... You screaming along with them only makes everyone else think that you can't hold your shit together and besides, child abuse in supermarkets is underrated these days.

Now you've made it past the entry and hopefully you’re doing well so far. Now it comes down to:

Behaving appropriately within the store.

1. Think of the supermarket like a roadway.

In Oz we drive on the left. Now if we were to apply this to a supermarket you would push your trolley to the left hand side of the lane. Not leave it in the middle in the way of everybody else, or sideways blocking the whole aisle... we know you’re an asshole who has a sociopathic tendency to believe the world revolves around your ego. You don't have to prove it by holding up 5 other people because you don’t know what right of way is.

2. Again don't hold up the aisle

Don't procrastinate about what type of tomato sauce you want. I'll let you in on a secret; Fountain and Heinz taste the same. Other people behind you need that stuff to and they probably can't see it because your fat ass and your family's fat asses are in the way.

3. If you "accidently" knock stuff off a shelf, pick it up and put it back on, or if it breaks let a staff member know.

 The last thing we need is some old bitch slipping on the jam jar you broke. Also if you do tell a staff member, don't stand there and apologize whilst we clean it up... it's annoying and after the third time it sounds insincere.

4. If something is not in stock, staff cannot magically pull it out of their asses for your convenience.

It would be handy but I'm pretty sure pulling a kilo jar of Milo out of their ass would hurt. Come back the next day after a delivery has been made and get it then or better yet if it's on special ask for a rain check... then you have a whole four weeks to stew about the fact that it wasn't in stock when you wanted it.

5. A trolley is not an automobile.

Don't try to zip around the aisles like your Casey Stoner in the Moto GP. You usually end up ramming it in to people (i.e. ME). If that happens, apologize don't stare at the person as if it is their fault. All you had to do was open your mouth and utter two words... pretty easy to figure out even with the standard low IQ of most shoppers.

6. If you need to ask a question about a product... don't walk up to the person wearing a uniform and packing a self and ask "Excuse me, do you work here?"

Nope they just got really bored that day and thought "You know what, Fuck it, I might pack some shelves for the fun of it today instead of doing my usual day job."

Also don't just say the name of the product and expect to get an answer... I like vegemite too but I don't walk around screaming its name to unsuspecting people.

7. Act like you have class.

Domestic disputes can be so much fun to watch, especially for the staff that has been cooped inside for 9 hours. However, they then have to deal with the fall out of every other customer complaining about the feral couple screaming at each other.

8. Write a list of what you need.

Don't put something in your trolley then decide at the last minute you don't want it. It creates unneeded work for the people who are already understaffed and it makes you look like an indecisive jerk.

Leaving the store.

Okay, so now you've navigated your way through the aisles, dodged the Brogans and their fuck trophies, destroyed the evil aliens and leveled up. You’re ready to proceed to the checkout.

1. General rules for using a serviced checkout.

A) When greeted by the cashier, greet them back... they don't like you either but at least they're polite about it. There is no reason to look at staff as if they stole your first born to use as a virgin sacrifice at a cult meeting. But by proxy when staff asks how you are, they don't want to know that you contracted syphilis in the 60's whilst dropping acid in a VW before you found Jesus and now donate every spare cent to televangelists.

B) If you have green bags hand them over before you start unloading your groceries... don't give them surprised face after they've scanned and bagged all your groceries and then hand them over and expect them to repack. You’re a dumbass and it doesn't work that way.

C) If you’re a little OCD and want your bags packed a certain way, staff is usually more than happy to oblige... on a condition. Group them accordingly... don't put your fruit and veg on the conveyor neatly then put the zucchini right at the end... we know you’re not buying it for a food purpose but that doesn't mean it is a separate category.

D) The express lane is for a specific amount of items. Don't line up with a massive trolley and then wonder why people are giving you dirty looks and the cashier tells you politely to fuck off to another register.

E) Money goes in the waiting hand... not underneath it on the counter. It's just rude and makes staff want to punch you in the nose.

F) Unpack your own basket... It is extremely uncomfortable to unpack a full basket on an overloaded conveyor and no matter how much you argue that it isn't an OSHA issue... it actually is, asshole.

G) If a register has a closed sign, a trolley and no light...how about you take a random guess at what's not gonna happen there.

And when staff is taking down a closed sign, removing a trolley and turning on a light...guess what... I'll give you a hint... it is a slight variation on the name of an old British comedy about a group of people working in a department store.

ALSO don't point at the register next to the one we just opened and offered to serve you through and say "So it's this one, right?".. Nope, but you are IQ challenged, right?

2. General rules for using a self-serve

A) Green means GO... Red means STOP

B) There is no such thing as a stupid machine just stupid people.

C) Yelling at a self-serve checkout doesn't work... No matter how loud you scream and cuss at it... But I'm sure if you go to A Current Affair it might be shamed into working for you.

D) Don't complain about s/s taking people's job's... Trust me they don't. So long as there are people fucking them up there will be jobs for people who need to fix them up.

E) Money goes in the money in slot's not the change slots... face/palm

3. General rules for going through any checkout

A) You don't need a plastic bag for one item... that's what your hand is for and having a plastic bag for a chupa chup isn't like buying extra-large condoms for your tiny penis... no one thinks big of you.

B) We don't care how much things cost back when the pound was still the current form of currency.. Back then all you had for entertainment was a stick, a wheel and a couple of tumble weeds too.

C) If you’re in a hurry avoid the supermarket at all costs... especially in the afternoon or during lunch time. You whining and whining about how slow staff are doesn't get you served any faster... it just makes you look like a wanker.

D) Think about your "dad" jokes before you say them..."That's the year I was born"... "You want money do you?" etc. Nope we don't want money but I would like to punch you in your smug unoriginal face.

E) Don't practice "reserving" registers. You know where you load up all your groceries and then wander away to find the last 5 items on your list. It's rude and if it were allowed I'm sure 95% of all staff would push all your shit back into your trolley and then hide it on you and make you go find it.

F) Don't procrastinate...when you’re in a supermarket you need to be decisive... make up your mind quickly and then move on, fucker... shopping should take an hour...tops... any longer and you’re a fucking nut case who needs a psych evaluation.

In closing.

Time and time again when I think I've seen the stupidest the world can offer I'm surprised by something so utterly mind blowing that I want to sterilize half the population so stupidity can't breed.

Half the people who shop are the reason blow dryers have "do not use in shower" stickers.

--Majuba

How To Be A Better Movie Theater Custy

From Projectionista:

Hey, RHU! New girl here, been lurking a while. Call me Projectionista. I work at a small movie theatre. I wanted to share some advice on how to be a better moviegoer:

1. Don't complain to us about concession prices! Firstly, we don't decide them and we can't change them, so I don't know what you hope to accomplish by whining about it to the guys scooping your popcorn. Second, we understand how you feel. $4.50 for a large popcorn is a lot (never mind the fact that it costs $8+ at the nearest Regal). But there's a reason we have to charge $3 for a Twix bar--movie theatres make next to NOTHING off of ticket sales. The studios take a giant percentage out of it that we barely even get to see in our till before it's gone. The only way we can stay in business and pay our staff is to charge more for the things that studios can't take a cut from.

2. Don't get upset when you realize 3D movies cost more. I don't know if this is just because we're in a small town, but it amazes me how many people are surprised when they find out that tickets for a 3D movie are $9 instead of $7 (which, again, is SO MUCH CHEAPER than any other theatre in our area, but I digress). The equipment and the glasses cost money, and we are REQUIRED BY THE STUDIOS to charge a MINIMUM of $2 extra per ticket for 3D films--money that, once again, we see for a second and then it's gone. We are literally charging you as little as we are able.

3. Don't stay for the entire credits (at least for movies that obviously won't have something at the end--this doesn't apply to Iron Man, Avengers, etc). We want to do our job and clean. On Fridays and Saturdays, we have people waiting in our lobby to be let in for the late show. You're holding everyone up. What is there to see? Your brother's friend's aunt's cousin was a gaffer for Something's Gotta Give? Stop pretending to care. Once the main cast credits are through, there's really nothing more to see. And if you really need to know something--that's what Google is for. Do us a favor and leave so we can clean up the popcorn that somehow managed to fall in a 3 foot square space around your seat.

4. If you must sneak food in, please have the decency to throw out the evidence. I have picked up Burger King droppings, juice boxes, Heineken bottles, full-size Oreo packages, you name it. I understand why you sneak stuff in--I get it, I probably couldn't afford to buy a popcorn, soda and candy, either. But at least throw your stuff out. You don't need to rub it in our faces that you got away with it, and that you're hurting our business. If this were a Regal, it may be a different story--they can afford to lose a few hundred customers and they would be fine. But we can't. So if you're going to do it, please find your common courtesy and throw your junk in the 3 different garbage cans you pass on your way out.

I'm sure I could come up with a bunch more of these. I love my job, but damn am I losing my patience for people fast lately. Next time you go to see a movie, please think of the minimum wage workers that depend on your business and courtesy for their paychecks--and know that even though it's their job to clean up after you, that doesn't mean they're doing it with smiles and rainbows all the time.

All the best, and may your film stay in focus,

--Projectionista

 

What Your Bank Teller Wishes You Knew

From Bank Slave:

This was written last November by a former coworker of mine on day that was really slow. I posted on McSparkles's story that if I could find it I would share it. Sorry for the length, but I hope you guys enjoy:

 First off, I'll start by saying that 90% of these things don't bother me THAT much.  They may be a little irritating at times, but I still do my job with a smile.

I am a person.  I am not the bank.  I did not make up these rules and therefore can not change them.  Some of them I don't like either, so please don't come storming into the bank demanding that "I" give you your money back and accusing "ME" of personally stealing all of your money. I know it's frustrating but there is a HUGE system in place and "I" didn't manually go into the computer and charge you that overdraft fee.  So calm down.  And trust me...If I personally were given all of the money from overdraft fees, there's no way in hell I would still be working here!

I am not an idiot.  I know how to multi-task.  Please tell me at the BEGINNING of the transaction all that you would like do.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...Do not hand me a check and say you would like to deposit it, then after I fill out your deposit slip (that you should have already had ready), make your deposit and hand you your receipt, ask to deposit ANOTHER check into the same account. THEN after THAT transaction, ask to get $20 cash back and THEN ask to put $40 of the check you JUST deposited into your checking account, into your savings account. You just made a 1 step process into a 4 step process and you're holding up the line!

Speaking of holding up the line, don't get mad at me when you've had to wait a couple minutes in line, then hand me a wad of cash, with no deposit slip, no id, no debit card...you could and SHOULD have had your crap ready before you got to the line, thus minimizing your wait time.  Likewise, if there are people standing behind you waiting, lets keep the personal chit-chat to a minimum, shall we?  I am your bank teller, not your therapist.

I know we live in the Midwest and its cold out, but use some common sense and take off your GOD DAMN Ski mask BEFORE entering the bank.  You look like a bank robber and we tend to get a little nervous.  Don't make me trip my alarm button prematurely!! Also, please don't park outside of the bank with your car facing our door, with your hat over your eyes, sunglasses on and your black hoodie up.  We know that most likely you are just waiting for a friend, but you look like you're casing the joint.  Go wait in the Wal*Mart parking lot instead.

Do not call me at 5:28 when we close at 5:30 and say you're "on your way" and      ask me to keep the store open for an extra 15 minutes.  Not going to happen.  We are a bank.  We close on time for security purposes.  Likewise, we will not open the door 15 minutes early just because you are standing outside and keep pulling on the locked door.

Just because you've been "banking here for X amount of years" does not exclude you from ever having to show your ID.  We try our best to remember people, but we deal with hundreds of people every week and we also will get new people from time to time.  A good rule of thumb is, if you don't know ME, I probably don't know you.

We can not magically see when or where your direct deposit is until it hits your account.  It is up to YOUR employer to send it through to us. We can not see into cyber space and tell you where it is.  Everything is electronic...which means that your check is not sitting somewhere, in building A on floor 7 in a box on the floor, waiting for someone to "process" it.

We will not reverse all your fees that were applied to your account because YOU don't keep track of your money.  I understand that it sucks. I feel bad for some of you, I've been there myself. But I can see how many overdraft fees you've had in the past year, and what you spend your money on so don't try to tell me "it's the first time this has happened."

Don't threaten to close your account and think it's an effective way to get what you want. We don't care about your $700.  You're being an asshole and we'd much rather we didn't have to deal with you on a regular basis anyways so we will gladly fill out the withdrawal slip and close your account.  

Do not bring me a check made out to your coworker's husband's brother and expect me to be able to cash it for you.  I don't care if 

he said it was "ok". It's not.  With all of the fraud going on these days there are proper procedures we have to follow in order to avoid people and the bank losing money.  Don't you realize that anyone could find a check, pick it up and claim the exact same thing? What would happen if we allowed that? Think about it.

Don't say to me "Ugh...well, they let me do this at my OTHER bank!"  Because I will tell you to go there and then assume that you didn't go there in the first place because your account is in bad standing.

Just because we are a bank that does not mean that we have an infinite amount of money on hand.  No, you can't cash your $50,000 check.  They regulate how much money we can keep on hand at all times.  We are not the US Mint. If we gave you all of that money, there wouldn't be any left for anyone else.

Don't try to pull a fast one over on be by saying "I do this here all the time." You're a liar.  I am 1 of 4 other employees who works here and I'm here all the time. So, if you really DID do something here "all the time", I would be the first to know about it.

We will gladly count your change for you free of charge in our super duper fast coin counter, but please don't bring in 30lbs of coin in a bottle that has a 3 foot long neck and an opening no bigger than the size of a quarter.  Shaking your heavy coin out is time consuming and annoying.  I should be able to dump it all in!! 

Same thing goes for cash.  I don't mind counting a lot of your money at one time.  I'm super good at it and really fast. But if you bring me an old coffee can of your "Rainy Day Fund" don't expect me not to be annoyed when I'm pulling out wads of crinkled, folded, dirty bills that take me 20 minutes just to straighten out.  Have your cash ready!

Guessing is never good in the banking world. If you don't know your account number don't try to guess.  I'll figure it out for you.  Same goes for slips...if you don't know which slip to use, ask me. But common sense applies here...do not fill out a "deposit" slip, if you are cashing it and then get mad at ME when I deposit it instead of cashing.

I know there are bad banks and bad tellers that don't know what they're doing, but I'm not one of them. So feel free to add your own.

--Bank Slave

McHell Pet Peeve: Custys Who Lie To Your Face

Inspired by Bookstore Slave's rant about custys who are too stupid to read signs and then lie to you about it, it is I, Mollywobbles, with a quickie on one of my (many) pet peeves of Retail Hell - custys who will straight-up lie to your damn face.

For some reason, I've been noticing it a lot more recently than in my entire three-and-a-half years working at McHell's (possibly because they've been putting me in the pick-up window more than taking orders in drive-thru lately), but I know it has happened.  People too stupid to read signs or menu boards, get up to your window and tell you "Yer sign sez [item] is [price]!" or something to that effect.  It's frustrating as hell because not only do I have to tell a customer that they are flat-out wrong, but I have to do it tactfully and usually apologize several times for their stupidity/inability to read.

The specific examples I have in mind don't necessarily have to do with prices, but rather store policy. 

Example One:

Our store has had drinks called Frappés for about two years now, and until recently, they come in two flavors: Mocha and Caramel.  I can't even tell you how many times I've received an order for "a Mocha Caramel Frappé", which does not exist.  We literally cannot mix the flavors.  But, to further add to the confusion, we have drinks called Caramel Mochas, which are made with a specially pre-mixed syrup and come hot or iced, and SO MANY PEOPLE think that the Iced Caramel Mocha and the Frappés are the same drink - until they receive them, see that they are, in fact, NOT the same, and go "That ain't what I ordered."  This is where the lying straight to my face comes in. 

I explain to the customer that this drink is an Iced Caramel Mocha, which is what was on my screen, and is therefore what I made and assumed they wanted.  They may have, in fact, said those exact words to the person who took their order.  I also have to explain that the Mocha and the Caramel Frappé are TWO SEPARATE DRINKS and we cannot mix them.  Then, to put the icing on the cake, they look me straight in the eye and say, "Well, they did it for me the other day!"

THAT. IS. A. LIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE.  NO ONE in the ENTIRE store has the capability to mix the two drinks.  PERIOD.  I can give them a Frappé in one flavor or the other and send them on their way (the drinks cost about the same) or I can give them their money back.  Either way, it's a hassle, and it's freaking insulting.

Example Two:

Our store policy for sauces with the chicken nuggets is you get one extra, but any more after that, we have to charge you 25 cents per sauce.  Similarly, with salads, policy is one dressing, and any more than that, we have to charge 50 cents per pack.  Period, no exceptions.  We cannot give two nugget sauces for chicken sandwiches, wraps, or fries without charging, we can only give one (those things cost the store money, we DO have to pay for them when we order them), and SO many times I have heard the excuse "Well, I got chicken sandwiches, I need sauce for them, you should give them to me!"  Yeah, that's not how it works.  I had a gentleman order a salad and wait until he got to the pick-up window to ask for an extra dressing with it.  I informed him it would be 50 cents, and he threw a fit, saying "They never charged me for extra dressing before!"

Once again, YOU. ARE. A. LIIIIIAAAAR.  The sauce policy has been in effect for the entire three-and-a-half years I've worked at this particular store, and the dressing policy has been in effect for...I want to say two years.  If he'd been to my store and ordered extra salad dressing within those two years, he has been charged accordingly.  Once again, to imply the opposite is insulting and rude, and he did decline an extra dressing and drive off in a huff.  Well, good riddance, who wants to be in the company of a liar, anyway.  Goddamn.

Oh, and on a slightly related note, if your town has more than one of a particular restaurant and you get bad service/missing food/etc. from said restaurant chain, please make sure that when you call to complain, you call the right goddamn store.   We had a customer call our store yesterday to complain that they'd gotten food poisoning from a supposedly raw burger that they'd supposedly brought back and supposedly talked to a manager and all of that.  It was probably a good 45 minutes of my managers calling one another asking if they talked to this individual, how the situation was handled, and even repeatedly asking the caller if they were sure it was OUR store they had visited and OUR managers they had spoken with before the moron realized that it was, in fact, the OTHER McHell's ACROSS TOWN. *commence tearing out of hair*

Jeez, turns out I'm a liar, too - I said at the top this would be a quickie.  Whoops.  At least I don't argue store policy with an employee.

May all of your customers not be great big lying doodie-heads,

--Mollywobbles

 

Custys Get Told Via Store Signage

 

 

One's Store's Rules For Custys

 

 

RHU DISCUSSION: Custys Wanting Help When You Are Clocked Out But Still In Uniform

Slave of Arch here, with a question for all of you here on RHU..

My brother recently got a job for a huge grocery store chain (think the opposite of a dwarf)

I went to pick him up after his shift was over, and our mother asked us to do some shopping for her while we were there (after he clocked out, of course.)

So we're going around, shopping, when a customer approaches us. Or, rather, approaches my brother.

Now, most grocery stores I've been to have signs above each aisle, describing what is found in each aisle. They also have a huge directory in several spots, describing where you can find most things.

So this man approaches and barks at my brother, "Your sign says coffee is in aisle nine! I was just in aisle nine and there is nothing. NOTHING! Where is your coffee?"

My brother turns around (we were right at the end of aisle nine) and looks at aisle eight, where he sees coffee, plain as day, and says, "Aisle eight."

The man leaves, grumbling still, to go get his coffee. I'd also like to note that the very first thing on the sign above aisle eight was "coffee," and nine was nothing but office supplies. The directory did, however, say nine.

My question is...my brother was in his uniform, yes, but he was off the clock. Did he still have a responsibility to help this man? I mean, it was a fairly simple task this time around, but what about if a customer needs more help later on? Is he still responsible for helping them if he isn't on the clock? Is he -allowed- to, if he isn't on the clock?

Peace,

--Slave of Arch

Taking It For Customer Service: Corporate Move To Make Things Easier Causes More Hell

Hi Ya'll- Womens Retail Slave here with some left over headache on one of my baby vacation days this month.

Our company is trying to be more customer friendly while in the past it was rules are rules. Which was funny because if they called out HQ they would just do it for them or send the crusty back into our store with a phone call.

So the company is letting us make more decisions in the process vs sending them to our 800# customer complaint line. While yes, that is great, its getting to a point where I feel like I should just drop my pants and bend over the desk.

Some of their requests are getting past the point of normal, here are a few of the jems:

"I have a coupon at home, can you take it?" 

*um a coupon for what?*

"I have a coupon on my phone, but my phone died. Can I use your phone to look it up?"

*um no.*

"My friend 6 states away told me about a coupon, can I call her LONG DISTANCE and get the code?"

*Do I look like Alexander Graham Bell? No.*

"I'm a member so I get a discount."

*I asked her what she was a member of, since we don't have any membership programs or discount cards.*

"Look me up on the internet at blah blah blah.com."

*Hi, we dont have internet.*

"I talked to someone and they said I was such a good shopper to give me a discount."

*1stly who did you magically talk to? and exactly what discount are you talking about?*

"I spend thousands of dollars, I deserve something!"

*I let you live, how does that sound!*

"I shop here all the time, I'm a regular!"

*Really I have worked here for xxx years never seen you, you're not in our system, you don't know our return policy, and have never heard/had our credit card. Um ok."

"HQ said it was ok!"

*Really someone on the opposite side of the US who closed 3 hours ago due to time zones said it was ok to do what?*

"I know your manager!"

*Really I don't know you...*

"I know your supervisor!"

*Really then give them a call, and let them tell you "no" again!*

"Is this the best price you can give me?"

*Well 1stly I am not in charge of prices, 2ndly we are not a swap meet. The price is clearly on the tag and on the sign above it.*

"Why did it ring up so much isn't it on sale?"

*Yes its on sale its not free!*

*    *   *    *

Lastly a few of my last week pet peeves which have started getting under my skin are:

1) When you shop with us we look you up by your phone number to get into our system for returns, and to get emails if we have your address. Do not talk to me like I am a moron because you have either

A) a highly stupid name

B) a highly complicated name

C) a foreign name

D) a basic or common name that INSIST is pronounced special. "Is it Susan?"  Crusty: " NO NO NO ITS Su- SHAZNE" Really really, it looks like Susan. OR "Is it De-men-tree-sha-ni-que-a-rhea?"  Crusty "EVERYTIME I COME HERE NO ONE CAN PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT I AM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN"

Really, please do..

2) If you ONLY have $40 dollars to shop, why why why do you try on 34895 things, and bring up 2343 things to the register.

Part two of this is why do you let me unhang, desensor, scan, fold, and bag all your product before you tell me -*Oh thats too much I only have $40" You can see each item ring, and see the running total. When it got up to $100 why didn't you stop, when it got to $200 why didn't you stop. No you had to let me scan it all in, for you, there is a special place in hell awaiting. 

Thats all for now, I am going to blissfully vacate my brain of any thought of work for an ENTIRE WEEK!! WHOO HOO!

--Women's Retail Slave

A Guide To Not Being a Shitty Tipper

Greetings fellow slaves, it's Register Pony the Petshart slave again, with my first slaves-as-custys story. 

Because of the fast-paced nature of me and my friends' lives, we rarely have the opportunity to sit down and enjoy each other’s company, so when one of my friends suggested that we go out to a restaurant, I was all for the idea, completely oblivious to the fact that one of my friends is a shitty tipper for no good reason. I should probably provide a little background: Friend #1, whom I'll call Ninja Kitty, has waitressed at multiple restaurants, and worked her way up from busser to manager at her current restaurant. She, like me, has always worked for everything she's ever had, although her home situation was a little worse than mine. Friend #2, on the other hand, is the type who's always whining about her parents despite the fact that they buy her nice clothes, electronics, and exotic vacations. While she's a genuinely nice person, and the type of friend who will never leave your side no matter what, her only personality caveat is that she is a completely shitty tipper. This is probably due to the fact that she has never worked a real job (her parents pay her to watch her own siblings). I'll call her Princess Jasmine.

Anyway, it was around 2:30 on a Sunday (we picked this time specifically because this particular restaurant always has a huge after-church crowd), and the restaurant wasn't busy at all. Our wait-slave told us, upon taking our drink orders, that this was his second day, and to let him know if anything was amiss. 

To make a long story short, our food came out perfectly, our drinks were refilled in a timely matter, and the waiter came around every fifteen minutes or so to check up on us, to see if we needed anything. Our bills came, and we each began filling out the tip section.

Ninja Kitty told me she was giving him a 20% tip because he was so attentive to our needs, despite being so new, and I told her I was doing the same.

Princess Jasmine, on the other hand, said she didn't see a need to tip waiters.

Ninja Kitty and I were both a little astonished, mainly because we've never really talked about tips aloud before. Has Princess Jasmine really never been tipping all the times we've been eating together? For shame. While we tried to convince her to leave SOMETHING, in the end, she refused, because she was "bad at math" and "didn't want to accidentally tip too much."

When we offered to help her, she made it clear that she wanted to end the discussion. I didn't say too much after that, because I didn't want it to get in the way of an otherwise spectacular friendship, but what would you have done, RHU, if you were in my or Ninja Kitty's shoes?

Later that night, I went home and wrote up a document purely out of confusion (and frustration) at my friend's odd behavior, and because I'm too chicken to give it to her, I wanted to share it with you, in hopes that it might help those of you who are less worried about hurting the uppity feelings of a person who's never had to work a day in her life. 

May your friends be kinder to wait-slaves!

--Register Pony

 

 

 

 

Waitress Receives Random Act of Dining Kindness From Caring RHUer

Bookstore Slave with a tale that hopefully warms the cold cockles of a waitress' heart.

It may sound like I'm spouting my own praises in the following story, but honest to God I felt good doing what I did that night... especially knowing what I know about what slaves suffer through in the waitressing jobs.

Before I hopped on the train to return home after a weekend with my boyfriend, we stopped at an Ebony Ursine Diner for their delicious food. The place was quite busy (only one or two seats in the whole restaraunt were ever empty at one time) but we got our seats almost immediately.

We placed our order and settled down to wait, talking about nothing as the usual chaos of a popular restaraunt went on around us. Fifteen minutes after we were seated, I was just beginning to wonder a bit at the wait. Not freaking out, not upset, just the random passing thought of "Hmm, it's been a bit since we placed our order. But they're busy so eh."

Our waitress swings by, apologetically anouncing that the kitchen has fallen behind and that our orders should be along as soon as they can.

Now from where we were sitting, we sould see clearly through the slot shaped window two people... TWO... were running around in the kitchen in the desperate scramble any retail slave attributes to shorthandedness during a rush. These two men never stopped moving, not even to take a deep breath before plunging into the next order. It's Sunday night, at the dinner hour, two blocks from a University, and this place has two dining rooms packed nearly to the gills with diners. Who the hell made the schedule? I want a name and I want an address. I wanna know so I can slap them till the stupid runs out! 

We reasurred our waitress that we were fine, and just pointed out that I needed to catch the train, so if worse came to worse, we would need take away boxes for our meals. That's it. That's the only accomodation we would need. I am fully capable of eating on the train with a plastic fork; a club sandwich and salad doesn't require major silverware.

Ten minutes later, she comes by again, again very apologetic to offer a complementary soup or something to tide us over while we waited. She's looking harried but not yet on the verge of tears. We both politely decline. We're not starving to death and we can wait.

Five minutes later the food arrives. For those of you who were counting, it's 30 minutes from the time of order to the time we were served. It's fresh. What was supposed to be hot was hot, what was supposed to be cold is cold. The order is correct, and no misakes have been made. The food looks good. It's not sloppy or poorly made despite the madness.

We are both happy. The food is delicious and we have time to eat and get to the train station with time to spare. When our bill comes, she explains that she talked to the manager and got some of the tab taken off for the long wait.

Some? They reduced it from $20 to just under $11! Half off! Now we hadn't requested this, nor had we given any indication that we wanted any discount. The theory I have that we got it because 1) we were so nice to her, and 2) because the manager wanted to salvage as much of the situation (real or imagined) as he or she could.

My boyfriend and I both agreed that we were quite happy with the evening. He put down a tip that was 20% of the original (not discounted) total and I scribbled a quick note of "Thank you! You were a wonderful waitress!" on the top of the recipt. Then we quietly gathered our things and left, to let her find the happy surprise on her table later.

I hope I made her night. I hope I made her upcoming week too.

May all your customers be nice,

--Bookstore Slave

 

RHUER Asks About Standing Up For Grocery Store Cashier

Hello All,

This post isn't about my experiences in retail hell or in the mental healthcare field, I'll save those for another time. My name in the comments is Former Healthcare Slave. Something happened last night that chapped my ass royally.

I was at the grocery store. I had all the things I needed and went to the check out line. I live in a very small town and it is not unusual to have only one person checking out, as was the case last night. I didn't recognize the clerk but she was doing a fine job.

Then the phone rings. She answers the person's questions and although she seemed at bit flustered but she was very professional and polite. Without her saying anything I could tell she had just been hung up on. She finished the transaction with the lady in front of me and proceeds to start with my items.

The phone rings again. It was the same person who now is apparently yelling at her and telling her that she is going to report her to the manager in the morning.

I felt so bad for this woman. She is new and I could tell she was upset. I asked her if the person called back just to yell at her. She just nodded her head. I told her that I would be a witness if she needed one. I was so pissed off I forgot to give her my name. Apparently, she was more flustered than I thought and forgot to ask for it.

So, I start my day coffee in hand and begin surfing my usual haunts on the web. Naturally, I end up here and it all comes back.

I started to wonder if this person did call the manager. I thought screw it I'm going to call the manager myself and hope I am doing the right thing. Turns out the person on the other end of that phone call was a former employee! (I've been around the block enough to know that not all former employees are happy campers, justified or not.)

The manager may have revealed more than he meant to but it's not like I'm going to tell everyone in town. Just you guys! :) The clerk from last night had told her manager about the calls and was pretty upset about it. I sang her praises like a morning song bird. The words "professional" and "courteous" were used several times. And the phrase "I don't know what she could have done differently because she was so polite".

He told me that she had informed him last night about the calls and was pretty un-nerved about the whole situation but that she wasn't in any trouble.

My question is: Without knowing if she had told her manager or not did I do the right thing?

May you all have nothing but nice cutsy's, heavenspawn and mangers that back you up!

--Former Healthcare Slave