These rules were originally posted on: December 22, 2009
Some new rules that ought to put in place immediately:
1. Don't be a Visa customer. You know the type. No matter where you go or how desperately you need to go there, they are everywhere you want to be.
2. If we don't have it, then we don't have it, and don't waste your time or mine by demanding to know why. Whether we didn't order it, the warehouse was out, or Osama bin Laden personally hijacked the delivery truck, we don't have it, and you're not fucking getting it.
3. Yes, we close early on Christmas Eve. Yes, we are closed all day on Christmas. We understand that you only had 365 days to plan for it since this is not a leap year, but we are closing, so deal with it.
5. (For muzak programmers) Just because 42 artists recorded the same song does not mean that it is a different song. I heard "Jingle Bells" 30 minutes ago. I don't want to hear it sung by somebody else now, an hour from now, or for the rest of the day for that matter.
5a. "This Christmas" is a horrible song. It sucks. It has also been recorded by 42 different artists. Quit fucking playing it.
Have a Merry AFTER Christmas, fellow Retail Slaves!