Retail Hell Underground

Science Ninja Has A Stressful Morning, Feels As Though She Has Become A Custy

Forgive me, RHU, for I have sinned. I am here to seek forgiveness for being a horrid custy.That's right, I have fallen to the dark side.

A little background may explain why I fell into the horrors that are being a custy:

I, possibly like many of you, have horrific allergies. However, the reason I'm having at the moment has lasted well over two months, and nothing seems to touch it.

So I wake up this morning at 4 am because I can't breathe. I reach for my medication, and to my horror, I only have half my dose left.

Now, when I wake up in the night and can't breathe, and go back to sleep, there's no guarantee I will wake up again. So I grab some caffeine, try not to disturb the boyfriend, and watch YouTube videos until 9:30. At that point I get dressed for work, and leave the house to catch the pharmacy when it opens at 10, wait outside for ten minutes, and literally go in as soon as it's open.

Now at this point I have already been up for 5 hours, have a full days work ahead of me, I can barely breathe, my skin is on fire, and my face is stolen like a puffer fish. I go to the pharmacist and this happens:

Science Ninja: "Can I have two bottles of (brand of medication) please?"

Poor Slave: I just need to go ask my supervisor if I can sell you two.

I've bought two before, but I know she's just checking so this doesn't bother me to much.

Poor Slave: Yeah that's fine. Have you tried our own brand of that medication? It's so much cheaper.

Science Ninja: What is it based on?

Poor Slave: I'll just check... Citrizine.

Science Ninja: No thanks, I have an immunity to that. Can I just get (my brand) please?

Poor Slave: But our brand is half the price! It'll save you a lot of money!

Science Ninja: Yes, but it won't work. I need (my brand) please.

Poor Slave: Have you tried the tablet form? You only need to take it once a day, and its much cheaper!

Science Ninja: No thanks, it doesn't work fast enough. I've experimented, and (my brand) is the best for me. So two bottles if the syrup, please.

Poor Slave: But with the tablets, it doesn't matter if you forget to top it up every 4 hours.

Science Ninja: Look, I'm tired. I have been up since 4 am because I can't breathe well. Look at the rashes on my skin, these are burning like the fires of Mordor (yes I really said that. don't judge me.). My face is swollen, and I am on (really strong medication) as well as (my brand) together, which, as you may be aware, both cause severe mood swings. I have to work a full day at work, with all this going on. I have been civil with you so far, but please, please give me what I want.

Luckily after that, she rang me up with what I needed.

To the retail slave, if you are reading this, I am so so sorry for making you start off your day so horrendously. I know you were doing your job.

May none of your custies be as horrendous as me,

--The Science Ninja

N.A.T. Gets A Very Toothy Surprise When He Tries To Break In

Hey RHU!

I have a couple stories hanging around, however since my internet has decided to die, I can't tell a lot of them as it would be hell to write out on my phone! But this one, I just had to share straight away.

It's not retail, as such, but it's about a NAT whose stupidity reached epic proportions.

Bit of backstory. I have 3 dogs, who normally wouldn't harm a fly unless they feel threatened. One of them is big, and very very scary looking, but has the nicest temperament.

Anyway, last night my dogs started barking about 3am. We expect its just some kids being loud outside, and now go back to asleep.

This morning however, we find broken glass and blood all over the floor. Fearing the worst, we check the dogs and find them all ok. We call the police, they take blood for DNA, verify nothing was taken and leave.

Later on in the day, we get another call. They found the guy.

Turns out he had turned up at the police station to report some dangerous dogs, and gave our address. He then admitted to breaking into the house. He admitted attempted theft to report our dogs four attacking him when he came in.

I have lost faith in humanity.

Luckily as he had entered our house, our dogs are completely safe and have been given lots of treats for keeping us safe.

I will bring you stories of horrific managers when my internet returns.

TTFN,

--The Science Ninja.

A Joyful Update About Sauron, And A Tale Of Horror To Curdle Your... Well...

Hello, it's Science Ninja (again) and I decided to update you on a couple of things that have been going on, as well as telling you the aforementioned story about the worst customer ever.

Firstly, an update about Sauron, who I have written about before. So, this week, she just walked out, halfway through her shift. The only contact anyone has had with her is a text to another co-worker - which was just this "Spending my time with my mother, feeling epic, never coming back to LebenKuchen!"

Which is fun.

Secondly, Sparrow, he is still employed with us, and this brings me onto a story from last week.

I was working, doing a job at the till, while he was (for once) on fitting room.

Suddenly, he shouts over: "Science Ninja. I need you right now!"

I think to myself "Christ, that boy is so impatient, so finish off what I am doing before heading over. And immediately feel awful.

I get over there, and his hand is covered with blood, and he is looking VERY pale. I ask him what's wrong, and he holds up a swimming costume.

"I picked this up, and there was blood all over it..."

Oh my god, RHU. The smell alone. There was *ahem* menstrual blood all over the crotch of this swimming costume. I tell Sparrow not to move, apologise to him, say I will only be a couple of seconds longer.

I run and get a bag, plus someone to cover fitting room, run back and get him to place the swimming costume in the bag. I then send Sparrow to the washroom, with another employee to open the doors for him, to get the worst of the blood off before sending him to the cleaners, as they have a stronger hand sanitizer for when they have to do icky things.

I grab some Duct tape, tape up the bag, write *BIOHAZARD* on it, before formally writing off the stock to be destroyed.

Sparrow comes back, and I check over his hands for cuts (you can never be too careful); luckily there weren't any but I advised him to go to the doctors to get checked - you never know what this woman might have (having spoken to him this week, he has been checked over and is completely A-OK).

I tell him I have got rid of the swimming costume, and he comes out with this.

"What about the others?"

I double take. "Sparrow, what do you mean the others?!"

He leads me into one of the fitting rooms, which he has left closed (I admit, this was good thinking) and opens it up. There are 8 more swimming costumes in there, not all as covered as the previous but I would say about 6 had blood on them - and fuck off was I taking any chances with the other two...

So, I shut down the entire fitting room (it was pretty quiet at this point, so I sent everyone downstairs), and set about picking these disgusting things off the floor - don't worry, I used gloves - and writing them all off. I then send the cleaners in to thoroughly disinfect the place.

I apologise - but who the fuck does that? Ladies, I know that feminine hygiene commercials tell us frequently that the frequent visit from the Menzies Fairy doesn't have to ruin our life, but honestly, if you can't wait 5 days to try on a swimming costume, or at least wear a pad or something, then you are just horrendous and eurgh. Sorry - I am still appalled by this.

I duct tape everything up very well, and put them over where they have to be written off. And then I get this from the Manager.

Manager: "Hey, Science Ninja, have you cut the labels off all of those?"

Science Ninja: "Erm, no. I found the same costume to write all the numbers I needed, but I didn't want to go fishing around in them to find the labels - sorry."

Manager: "Well, they aren't properly written off then. You need to cut the labels. Don't you deal with blood in your degree?"

I am sorry - but what the fuck. Yes, a few months ago I dealt with blood on a daily basis - but all the blood donors were medically checked EVERY TIME they donated blood (they tend to be people who's blood can't be used for normal donation), and plus I wear full body protection.

I tell her this, and add that if she wanted to cut the labels, then she could feel free, but there was no way I was.

Also, another bit of weird news I have noticed.

The past 3 weeks, every week we have had one no call/no show. Every week it has been a different person, and every time the next week they come in and nothing is mentioned about it. This week we got another no call/no show. This takes me back to a couple years ago, where Horrid Manager had put me on a shift, and neglected to tell me. I had to get 3 written witness statements of supervisors saying that I never failed to read my schedule, and also proof that I had planned to be somewhere else that day, and that I was there when my shift was, in order to keep my job.

The three no call/no shows - as far as I am aware, haven't had to do this. Has anyone else noticed that there seems to be a more lax attitude to working - dare I say it - particularly in the younger generation?

(At risk of causing a flame war - I am in no means saying that every member of the younger generation has this attitude to work, I am in the younger generation myself so I know that isn't true of all of us. Please don't send me hate mail... please?)

May all your items be returned unsoiled...

--The Science Ninja!

Science Ninja Needs Advice

Hello RHU!

I have an update + another story about a horrific custy and Sparrow, which I will share later, but for now I need to ask a quick and rather urgent question!

So, for context I need to take you back to February. I knew that I would be off Uni for 6 months in the summer, so I asked my manager (I think I called her Horrid Manager in the past) if there was any more overtime in the summer, any chance of temporarily going up to more hours contracted etc.

Her reply was a resounding no, her favourite employee finished her degree this summer, and so she is getting all the overtime. Then it will go to the newer hires - as they need more experience, and then to the students who have just finished school and are leaving in September. So, I was pretty much bottom of the pile when it came to doling out overtime.

So, with that bugging me, I decided to go out and get a second job. Now, I got this job, which is officially only 4 hours a week, however as they are going through a major reorganisation, they give insane amounts of overtime (as in I have frequently quadrupled my contracted hours). I shall now on, for clarity, name my original retail hell Lebenkuchen (which I believe I have before) and my new employer Then. I inform Horrid Manager, telling her my new availability but that I may not be able to work short notice shifts anymore.

Anyway, during my shift today at Then, my awesome Manager (Who I shall call JP) asked if I was available tomorrow for an urgent move, and to work through backlog. This would be an 8 hour shift, one which I am fine working, and one which would give me twice the amount of pay I would normally get in a week. Plus, I am working with two amazing co workers, so I jumped on the opportunity; it is logged onto the computer and finalised.

Lo' and behold when I am at home, I get a text from Horrid Manager: "Just scheduled you to work full day tomorrow - see you at 9"

What. The Actual. Fuck. I, like a good retail slave, text back within a minute. "Sorry, I am working all day tomorrow! Am free for the other shifts you put me down for though!"

Well, the next minute I get a phone call. HM has flipped.

HM: "I need you to work tomorrow! I am 3 staff members down! I have no one to open, or close, I can't run my shop floor like this!"

Me: "Why can't [Favourite Employee] Work?"

HM: "She's on holiday! Everyone else are doing exams! You must work tomorrow! Plus, I need to do your review, if you don't come in tomorrow I can't do it in time for you to get your pay rise. It is in your contract that you must work a certain amount of overtime, and you have not fulfilled your quota! I am in so much trouble now!"

Now, hold the fuck up. I know for a fact you knew you were 3 staff members down 2 weeks ago (One employee broke her ankle, and two moved onto other jobs). If you had half a brain cell, you'd have realised this coincided with your favourite employee being on holiday, AND with the school exam period. If you had asked me to work then, then I would have said yes. But no, you leave it til the day before.

Secondly, if you are 3 employees down, and I am the ONLY ONE who can cover it, what makes you think we are gonna be quiet enough for you to take me out for an hour to do my review?

And Thirdly, I asked you for overtime. You offered me none. Those extra shifts I mentioned? You added those to the schedule randomly, and I cancelled 2 events to be able to make them. Those alone have fulfilled my quota. And think back to last year, who came in to work a 5-10 shift, the night before her exam. Oh wait, that'll be me.

So, my question is, what do I do about this? Do I stop taking overtime at Then, which doesn't pay as well, but is more consistent and often more reliable (I don't get called an hour before to say I'm not needed), or do I wait to see if I get called in at Lebenkuchen - which pays better and where I have a great opportunity to be promoted soon?

Hope your managers don't make you tear your hair out,

--Science Ninja

A Few Updates on Science Ninja's Stories, And A Heavenspawn Encounter

Hello everyone!

I was just updating on my last couple of stories, and also got another story to warm your heartstrings.

I haven't had my review yet, and my manager hasn't got back to me on the treatment front, so I don't know if I will have to go all legal on them. (I hope I don't, though!)

Secondly, Sparrow hasn't been fired, he was given a second chance. However, on our last shift he no called/no showed, so I think he will be long gone soon.

Anyway, my lovely story of the day concerns one of my regulars. He is only in his mid to late 20's, and lost his hand in a motorbiking accident a few years ago. I will call him the captain, by reasons that will soon come apparent.

Now, the Captain is one of my favourite regulars, and he knows us all by name. He has told us before that he hates wearing his prosthetic hand, because it is uncomfortable, so instead he wears a hook (he always jokes he is going to stab through our pin pad).

Now, on my last shift the Captain and his wife had just wandered into the store, and were browsing around for clothes in the childrens section, when a young boy - I would say no more than three - pointed excitedly and shouted "Look, Mummy! A real life Pirate!"

Mother looks up. Cue an expression of pure and total fear. You can see her mouth open to apologise to the Captain, or explain to her child when this happens:

The Captain puts on a stereotypical pirate voice and shouts "Argh, Matey! We have been spotted! Quick, get back to the ship, before he tells anyone!"

And his wife replies with "Aye-Aye, Captain!"

And with that, they both grabbed each others hands and ran out of the store.

I shit you not, the look on this little boys face was magical! He was so excited, and blabbering to his mum that he saw a Pirate, and he was wondering if he had a treasure map.

The mother explained to him that - although the Captain was obviously a real life pirate - that some people have actually lost their hands and have to wear a hook - and this is the kicker:

The little boy looked at me, and said "If the Pirate comes in again, can you tell him I am sorry I pointed him out, and I hope his arm grows back."

I love this kid.

May all your children be Heaven Spawn,

--The Science Ninja

The Science Ninja Has Two "Is This Legal?" Questions

Hello Everyone, it is The Science Ninja again, and I return with two "Is this legal?" questions.

The first is from last week, but it has been weighing on my mind. We have our reviews coming up soon, which is undertaken by a manager but the supervisors tell the managers how we have been doing. Anyway, there are really really high up signs in our store, and I had been asked by a supervisor I shall call THE MEGA BITCH (TMB for short) to take one down.

Now, I am very short, and even when I was stood on top of our step ladder, I was about a foot from reaching this sign. So, I called a coworker over who is well over a foot taller than me - who at the time was dusting the shelves around the area (a job we do when all other jobs are done) - and he got it for me. I thanked him, and he went back to dusting. All in all, I had him help me for less than a minute.

Now, TMB saw this, and this is what she said.

TMB: Tut, tut Science Ninja - That's a failure on your review.

Science Ninja: I'm sorry, what did I do wrong?

TMB: You failed to do your job, and took another coworker out of his job to be able to do it. That's a failure under "allowing the company to run efficiently." Why do we even employ you, if you just get him to do all your work?

Right - now surely I can't fail my review for this. She gave me a job which was IMPOSSIBLE for me to complete (fair enough, she may have overestimated my height) and then complain when I can't do it.

Which comes to my question - can they fail me on my review purely because I am too short? Seeing as a failed review means you don't get a pay rise, and also if you fail 3 then you can be dismissed. I looked through my contract, and there is nothing on the matter - but also no minimum height you have to be to work there - so could failing because I am too short be seen as discrimination?

-------------------------

My next one - along mainly the same lines- need a little background, but I will try to give away as little about my specific condition as possible. I have a rare disability, which has a very simple - but effective - treatment. However, my disability is invisible, and to many, the treatment looks very superficial (think having to wear sunglasses, or always having your hair tied up). It's hard to explain without giving away too much about me, but this treatment has really changed my life. However, this happened:

Horrid Manager: Science Ninja, take that off.

SN: Hey, HM, I know it looks really bad, but believe me I wear this for a reason. It helps with a disability I have.

HM: That may be, but it is against company policy. Take it off.

SN: I know this sounds stupid, but it really does help, and it will help me do my work better. Hopefully I won't have to go home sick as much either!

HM: I don't believe you... you will have to remove them until you get me a doctors note, then I will have to talk to Dragon (her manager) to see what I can do.

Now, you would not believe how much this treatment helps me, imagine only using your left hand all your life, and then suddenly realising the existence of your right hand and starting to use that. That's how good this is.

But surely they cannot expect me to completely neglect my treatment just because it's "against company policy." I don't wanna leave my job, cause I dunno if I'll get another. This is my question - can they fire me for my disability?

May Thrognar be with you,

--The Science Ninja

Science Ninja Experiences Useless Coworker Hell

Hello it's Science Ninja, with another story for you guys :)

This is about another co-worker of mine, one who I have refrained from talking about for ages because he seriously makes my blood boil, and as I knew him outside of work (he's my ex's best friend), I wasn't sure if it was my personal feelings messing with my work ones. But now I realise, if anyone was doing this, I would hate them with a vengeance.

A bit of background, I recently became a training supervisor, which means I have to tell people what to do, but have no authority to do so. Anyone who sees a problem with this - feel free to put your hands up.

Now this kid, who I shall call Sparrow just cause I am awful at names and right now there is a sparrow on my windowsill, is notorious for not doing anything. And I mean anything. Whatever you tell him to do, he will put all of his effort into thinking of things NOT to do.

At first, as I only told him when he needed to go on Fitting Room, I thought it was because he hated fitting room. But no, when I ask him to go on the till, he finds a reason why he HAS to be on the fitting room because, well I don't know because fuck you that's why.

Oh and the amount of times I have this fucking conversation with him:

Science Ninja: Sparrow! <department> (His favourite one, the one he will recover even if he is told to recover somewhere else) need's recovering, would you like to go and do it for me?

Sparrow: Yeah, sure.

*5 minutes later he is still standing at the till doing nothing, I have been in the path between him and the department, and haven't seen him go past. I have this conversation just to check if he has been busy with a customer, and that's why he hasn't gone over*

Science Ninja: Sparrow, did you finish <department>?

Sparrow: Yeah, its all done.

Science Ninja: It's 100% recovered, nothing out of place at all?

Sparrow: Everything's exactly in the right place, it's 100% done.

*Goes over to check, and there are literally things on the floor*

Science Ninja: Sparrow, you haven't touched this at all. In fact, I didn't see you go past to look at it. Could you please go and do it now?

Sparrow: But recovery is BOORRRINNG...

YES I FUCKING KNOW IT'S BORING!!! But guess what. It's YOUR JOB to do it. And to add insult to injury, he was stood at the till, playing with a coat hanger. Now, how the fuck that is more intellectually stimulating than actually doing something I don't fucking know.

But this time takes the fucking cake.

He was on till with me, and there were some deconstructed cardboard boxes there for some reason I still don't quite know. There was a huge line of customers, I kept asking him to jump on the free till, but he just replied, "No, I'm busy."

So, I was trying to check people out as quickly as possible on our ancient tills, not noticing what he was doing, and periodically telling him to help. Then I hear this:

Sparrow: Hey, Science Ninja! I hope you don't need any hangers!

I turn round, and he had fucking boxed me in with cardboard boxes, so I couldn't move out of the area around my till. As in, the boxes were up to my chest height. I knew he had been doing something with them, but I didn't think he would be this fucking childish. He had taped them to the fucking walls too so I couldn't move them.

I took a deep breath, apologised to my customer for the delay and carried on working.

After I had served a couple more customers, and Sparrow was still adding to his "box fort" as he called it, our store manager came past.

Let me repeat that. Store Manager. The only one in our store with the power to fire people on the spot. Store manager. I shall call her the Dragon, as she's as fucking hard as one. She noticed us and then this conversation occurred...  And I know this may seem hard to fathom, but on the life of Thrognar, this is what he fucking said,

Dragon: Sparrow, what are you doing?

Sparrow: Making a box fort.

Dragon: Get on the till and start helping customers.

Sparrow: No, My box fort is more important than these stupid customers.

Calm, Science Ninja, Calm. Oh Fuck this. HOW STUPID CAN YOU FUCKING BE!!! Fair enough, Dick around on the job, but at least have the common fucking sense to stop when a fucking STORE MANAGER walks past.

Fuck me sideways with a blunt pickaxe.

Anywho, I got asked why I didn't stop him/ask him to go on the tills, and majestically, the customer I was serving responded with this:

"What did you expect her to do, duck tape him down? She asked him multiple times, and he just shrugged her off. Yes, she could have come and found you, but then we would have been waiting even longer. She did everything she possibly could when she has to work with such cock bites."

I am so thankful for this old woman. She is magical and wondrous, and I love her to bits. She even asked how she could make a formal complaint about Sparrow, and a compliment to me. So, I love this customer!

Dragon escorted Sparrow off, and my shift ended before I saw him again. Hopefully he's gone for good.

And, as a final note, guess who had to dismantle the box fort when the queue of customers die down. Well done, you win fuck all.

Until next time, my wondrous RHU-ers.

May all your stupid coworkers come down with sudden, incurable, small-pox,

--The Science Ninja

Science Ninja vs Sauron; Dealing With A Dumbass

Hi guys :) Another story from me, The Science Ninja, just for you :)

Now, yesterday I had the "pleasure" of working with a woman who I will call Sauron - due to her ability to use WAYYY too much eye make up.

Now, I was hired at the same time as Sauron - about 3 years ago - and actually did all my training with her. However, Sauron works full time - excluding Sundays - and I work Sundays, so I haven't seen much of her. I assumed, as she was working over 6 times the hours that I work, that she would know much more about the job than I do.

I was wrong. Oh so very wrong.

I wasn't supposed to be working with customers yesterday; in fact I was putting sales stickers on all the sales items.

A little bit of background, even though the stickers went on yesterday - the sale only starts today. However, company policy is, if it is obviously on sale, and not ringing up on the till, we honour the sale and the customer has sales price.

So, I am happily marking down clothes, sticking my lovely half price stickers on pretty much everythingwhen I get a call from Sauron.

Sauron: Science Ninja! Can you help me with something?

*Put down what I was doing, even though I have a deadline, and trundle over*

Sauron: This woman is buying this, and it says 50% off, but it's ringing up at full price. What do I do?

Science Ninja: Well, we have to honour the sale so she can have it for 50% off.

Sauron: Well, the till isn't saying that.

Science Ninja: Well, it's the company policy. Just take 50% off manually.

Sauron: Well, how do I do that?

So, I walk her through each screen and I swear it's like the first time she has ever seen it. We have had about 30 occasions where we have had to do this over the 3 years, and it also has to be done if the price is ringing up wrong on the till.

Now, I wouldn't mind, but the people I trained 2 months ago know how to do this. I just don't see how she has survived without knowing!!

Add on top of this, she returned a £500 dress (for cash) that:

a) didn't have a receipt - or a barcode from our store,

b) we don't sell in our particular store (so it is against store policy to return it)

and c) is sold in multiple chains - so there is no guarantee she bought it from us

I rushed over when I saw her doing it, but she kept contradicting me, saying "I'm a full timer, I know best." When the customer left, and I showed her the refund policy - she simply said "Oh, no one has ever shown me that"

So guess who got yelled at by Management for not stopping her - even though I wasn't technically supposed to be interacting with the customers?

Correct.

Sorry for the long post guys, but had to get it off my chest.

Hope all your co workers have more than a single brain cell.

--The Science Ninja

A Heavenspawn Warms Science Ninja's Heart

I am afraid I once again have the RHU submitting bug and remembered this story from a while ago, which I thought you may like. Here it is:

So, it's Science Ninja back with another tale to warm even the iciest of slaves hearts.

This happened a couple of months ago. I was working fitting room when a father and daughter (about 7) came up, with 4 baskets full of I swear every item of kids clothing in the store. I braced myself for impact, but they were very polite and accepted when I told them they were only allowed 9 items at a time, and that unfortunately the father wasn't allowed in the fitting room (the Kid's and Women's fitting rooms are the same, and we get complaints when fathers, or even young boys, go in).

So this girl tries on clothes, and skips out to show her dad while I chat along with both of them. This goes along until she is about half way through, when this happens:

Science Ninja: So, where are you going that warrants such a big shopping trip?

Little Girl: My Mummy's coming back from Afghanistan this Wednesday. I used to wear a soldiers uniform but now I am a big girl I need to wear something proper.

Science Ninja: Oh, what's she doing in Afghanistan?

Little Girl: She is a doctor with the Soldiers. I miss her sometimes but then I remember that she is keeping us all safe, and I am happy again.

She then skips back into the fitting room to change her outfit, and I am left biting back tears.

She eventually chose some Khaki Leggings, a khaki jacket and a white blouse, laughing and telling me she was dressing up as a shoulder after all.

Before she left, I wished her a good day back with her mother, and she came to give me a hug! Her Dad shook my hand, and the next day I got a 100% survey handed in.

Just thought that something like would make you smile :3

Hope all your Customers are as sweet as candy,

--The Science Ninja

Asshat Manager Says, "Give A Week's Notice For Time Off When Family Passes Away"

Hello fellow RHU-ers,

I realise the majority of you probably don't remember me, due to it being donkeys years since I last posted, but I am the Science Ninja. I haven't posted for a while because to be honest, I have been Hella busy and Retail has been treating me pretty well. Until last weekend.

A little background, our store let's us swap out shifts at will, without notifying a manager, as long as we work the same amount of hours in a week. I rarely do this for my own benefit, but a lot of the time I cover other peoples shifts (if they are Ill, hungover, whatever.)

Now onto the story. On the Saturday in question, my Uncle went into a very risky surgery. Unfortunately, it didn't go according to plan, and he was given a few days to live. I was in town when I heard, so I rushed to come home straight away. I bumped into a Co worker on her break and asked her if she could cover my shift the next day, which she agreed to, and I would work her shift the following week. I went home, and after seeing my family phoned my floor manager.

She said no. Flat out that I was not allowed. She told me that a) there was a sale on, and b) it was too short notice. I should have told her a week in advance.

Well I am fucking SORRY that my uncle passed away when there was a sale on and I am fucking SORRY he didn't give me a weeks notice.

Anyway, after I agreed to come into work, my mother (God do I love her) phones HIM without me knowing. A few hours later I get a call from the store manager saying she had sorted everything, I would get compassionate leave for up to three weeks.

So I thought it was over. But oh dear lord no. Unfortunately, my Uncle passed away on Monday, so by my next shift I felt able to work.

I turn up, and get pulled aside by my floor manager. She tells me the next time a family member passes away, and I do not provide a weeks notice and expect to swap a shift "my employment would be under serious review".

Now I know that they didn't have to give me compassionate leave, but I wasn't asking for that. All I asked for was a simple swap shift that people do on the day when they just don't feel like coming into work.

Should I kick up a fuss about this or not? Or wait until I get fired (even though the 2 consistent no calls/no shows never seem to get discipline)

Sorry for such a horrendously long post.

May all your dreams come true, my friends.

--The Science Ninja

Retail Slaves As Custys: Pranking Snooty Salespeople

Sorry I haven't written for ages, I've been in surgery and all kinds of crap. The problem is, I have committed a heinous crime.

Some of you may know that I am a steampunk. However, I am usually grouped into goth, emo, whatever.

Well, there is a shop over here which sells clothes to preppy kids and today I went in there to buy my niece a present.

Literally the second I walked in there, the assistants started snickering at me, whispering about my clothes and hair, and one of them said to me "We dont usually see your kind in here" in a really bitchy tone. So, I left, silently seething.

Now, I couldn't just let them get away with it. So I formulated a plan.

After calming down a little, I wandered back in (silently) and started looking at clothes. Once I heard their snickering, I pretended to hyperventilate and started clawing at my skin. When one of them came over and asked bitchily if I needed help, I said "I seem to be turning into A MASSIVE TOOLBOX!" and ran out of the store…

I ask for forgiveness for my sins and repent to all the retail gods. Please, RHU, am I forgiven for being a horrid custy?

--The Science Ninja.

Science Ninja's Learned Retail Lessons

Hello, I am Science Ninja, and I am a sorceress and daughter of the devil.

I have two lessons for you today:

1) People are actually insane. Just. Really. Insane.

2) It's never good to stand out when you work in Retail.

Sooo, a little story for you here. I have lots to tell, but I wanted to tell this one cause it's freaking hilarious!

May 21st, when everyone was dying from the rapture, I went into the town where I work shopping. A little back story here, I'm a punk, and my hair is dyed black and blue (I tie it back for work so you can't really see it) and my boyfriend... Is a steam punk. This means he walks around with a top hat and a cane. I find it pretty freaking awesome, but people do tend to avoid us on the street... I wonder why...

Anyway, skip to the next day, and I'm working. A little old, quite frankly innocent looking lady walked up to me and had the following conversation.

Old Lady: Excuse me, were you shopping in town yesterday?

Science Ninja: Yes, I was, why do you ask?

OL: (literally out of the blue) SORCERESS!

SN: Um, Ok, What?

OL: I saw you with the boy you brought back from the dead. He was not of our time. You have used sorcery to bring him back, and thus you are a devils child. I pray for your soul.

And then she walked off.

Honestly, I really do love working in retail. It really brightens up my life.

Until next time retail slaves, The Sorceress is signing out...

--The Science Ninja

 

Science Ninja's Hell: 3 Crazies and 1 bitch

Hi RHU-ers. So, yeah, Science Ninja is still alive.

Due to millions of exams and a lot of in and out of hospitals, I haven't written for a while. But I have still been reading :)

Anyway, just a quick post with a couple of customer stories.

NUMBER ONE: THE LEFTY HATER

So, I'm left handed. Not too weird. But, as I finished writing something out I turned around to serve a customer. But she refused to be served. Why? Because I'd written with my left hand. And thus was the devil.

NUMBER TWO: I'M (apparently) A COMMUNIST

So, casually working, humming "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. When, out of the blue, a customer walks up to me on the shoulder and said "That is a song of communism. You are a communist." and walked away. My awesome co worker looked at me, and said "What the fuck was that about?" "I don't even..."

NUMBER THREE: I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE I AM OR WHAT COLOUR I WANT

So, I was casually folding jumpers on a table, nearly done and a woman came along and a woman came along and tried on damn near every single sweater, and then just strew them across the table. I nearly jumped out the window.

NUMBER FOUR: I'M WRONG SO I'M GONNA OFFEND SOMEONE

So, If you don't remember, I used to be 196lb, but I am now more like 140lb. I know I lost a lot of weight, but I'm still pretty self concious about it. Cue customer.

Bitch: "Hey, I want to return this."

Co Worker: "I'm sorry, but this is 75% off, and an extra 20% off was given for good will (There was a small rip in the fabric). This can't be returned."

Bitch: "I specifically asked if I could return it, and she said yes!"

At this point, I round the corner and the bitch goes mental:

Bitch: "THERE SHE IS! THERE'S THE FATTY WHO SOLD IT TO ME!"

I just left. I still don't know what happened.

Anyway, I'm not dead just yet, and I still love y'all

Till next time, slaves,

--SCIENCE NINJA

Scheduling Mix Up Turns Positive

From The Science Ninja:

Hiya RHU!

Thanks for all the support for my last post, I just got bored on my shift, and Morgan Freeman started talking to me. So, yeah.

I'm writing on the incompetence of my manager. Ronnie.

Some background first. We're currently in half term over here, which is basically just a week of school for the hell of it. I usually only work 5 hours a week, on Sunday's. But on Monday this week, I got a call from Ronnie, could I open on Tuesday? Sure, gives me extra money. Going into my shift, I found out why.

She'd forgot to schedule anyone.

My AWESOME supervisor was trying to sort out the shift pattern for the next day, who was on tills or whatever when she asked Ronnie who was on the next morning. And it was no one.
And today, I've just been called in again!

That's two times this week! Which makes me wonder, does she do this all the time?
Not that I'm complaining, I've almost tripled my hours this week. Which means more money for my savings.

I guess every cloud has a silver lining.

--The Science Ninja

Science Ninja On Crappy Retail Days

(This post is best read in the voice of Morgan Freeman.)

I hope you're sitting comfortably, boys and girls, for I am here to tell you a story. A story of Retail Slaves and Custys, Co-workers and friends. Hold on tight to your hats 'cause this is a tale with more twists and turns than a bowl of spaghetti. With meatballs. And cheese.

It's time to meet the heroine of our story. A young, somewhat naive retail slave called The Science Ninja. She headed into her wonderful place of work after her sickness, to be confronted with the second character of our story. A young man called Missy, far far from home.

Now, a little backstory about Missy, he's from the deep south of the US of A with a perfect southern drawl. He's a huge 6 foot 7 black wrestler, with muscles to match. Let us immerse ourselves in their conversation now:

Missy: Hey, Science Ninja! I heard y'all got called a N**** last time you were in by some idiot on the street.

SN: Yeah, he was a jackass.

Missy: D'y'all know why that's so damned funny?

SN: Ummmm... No?

Missy: Cause Giiiiiirl, y'all the whitest person I ever met!

This made our Science Ninja in good spirits for the rest of the day, but by my ol' strawboater, was she wrong!

Picture the scene, 2 hours into her shift, Science Ninja has been given the task of putting all the new delivery out on the shop floor by the time her break swings around. Fine, this is possible for Science Ninja to do, she just needs to put her working head on and dream of more awesome things she could be doing. However, all is not well in KuchenBrot, and Science Ninja soon gets called to the tills...

To see millions of Custys!

So, Science Ninja gets working on the tills, and after serving the first customer, she turns round to the co-worker who called her over, Krypton, who is currently styling his hair in the mirror opposite the tills.

As you can probably guess, my clever readers, Krypton is the arch-nemesis of this story.

SN: Hey Krypton, can you help me over here please?

Krypton: Um, excuse me? I'm far too important to just be working on tills. Do it yourself.

So, alas, poor Science Ninja gets further and further behind with her delivery as she tries to check out the ever growing line of customers.

UNTIL GINGER SAVES THE DAY!!!!

Ginger rushes over to the struggling Science Ninja's side, and forms a team with her, bagging up the clothes as Science Ninja scans them through. After asking Krypton to come and help by jumping on another till, and getting the same response as our Science Ninja, Ginger grumbles, but carries on bagging, as Customers ask for Kryptons name to complain.

But the drama is not over yet, dear readers. Far from it.

After the huge line of Custys has gone, Science Ninja rushes to get her delivery finished, and manages apart from one box. Figuring she can do that box after the break, she goes for a well earned rest.

After grabbing her purse from the locker, she wanders into the break room,

TO A HUGE FIGHT BETWEEN KRYPTON AND GINGER!

Ginger tells Krypton what a lazy jackass he is, and Krypton replies with how he is more senior than Ginger. Ginger replies telling him what a huge amount of Male Cow feces that is, before turning around to include Science Ninja in the fight. Science Ninja is apprehensive, however just points out that he isn't, in fact, more senior than either her or Ginger.

Which causes the evil Krypton to explode, with the fact that he is much older, and therefore senior, and how with age comes experience. He then pulls out his driving license, showing everyone his date of birth and how senior he is than everyone else.

Now laughing, both our heroes Science Ninja and Ginger pull out their driving licenses... to reveal both of them to be at least six months older than Krypton.

After much huffing and puffing, Krypton leaves the room, to roars of laughter from many people, including a few managers in the store.

The Moral of the story, fellow retail slaves, is that no matter how crap your day may seem. Sometimes, a little miracle can make it all better.

I am Morgan Freeman. Thank you for listening.

--Science Ninja

Science Ninjia's Retail Hell Week: Leaflets, Thievery, and Rude A-holes

Heya all!

Science Ninja has returned!

I am writing to you about my shift last week, why haven't I written since then? Well... because I currently write from my sick bed, after spending a day in A&E and the rest of the time since pretty much asleep. Anyway, more of that later.

So, I went into work last week, for my weekly shift, looked at the rota saying where I wanted to be, and when my break was, whatever. And saw a big motherfucking L wrote across two hours of scheduling... right...

I had no idea what this L meant, and when i asked my supervisor (not the normal one because she was ill, it was a replacement), she just laughed and told me to go to the general office. Right. And when I went to the general office half an our later, the sale manager was holding two fluorescent red coats and a whole load of leaflets.

Fuck. Me.

So me and another willing slave, let her be named Amber, headed out in minus temperatures to tell people that they could get something free if they brought to sale items. (Buy one get one free on all women's sale items at Kuchenbrot (officially my new name for the store)! Please take a leaflet so we can get out of these freezing cold conditions!) Of course, we had our share of unwilling attentions.

Cue the next conversation:

SN: Hey there! Would you like...

50 Cent wanna be: Fuck off, you fucking slut. Go back to whoring on the street, fucking nigga (note, I am not only white, but I am extremely pale. And this guy is black).

SN: Of course, Sir! Whatever makes you feel better about your incredibly small appendage!

50: *speechless, and shuffles off to the sound of laughter from his friends*
Amber: Dude, you should be on stage or something.

And then, back from our hellish outing (we'd handed out all the leaflets, even though the store had printed out enough to last the week!), I was put on fitting rooms until my break. Just a small custy encounter, but one none the less. Two thirty - forty year old women were going into the changing room.

SN: Hi there, are you looking to try those on?

Woman 1: Hi, I'd like to try these on.

SN: Sure, just follow me!

Woman 2: Would you mind if I go in with her?

Now, our store doesn't have any policy concerning this, but we generally say it's ok, unless there's more than two people.

SN: Yeah, that's fine.

W2: We're just friends, we're not one of those carpet munchers!

My jaw LITERALLY hit the floor.

Firstly, like I said, we have loads of friends who do this. Hell, even I do it sometimes. I never for a second thought you were a lesbian.

And Secondly, I don't give a flying shit if you are lesbians! I don't care if you held huge lesbian orgies every night! The one thing that does annoy me about you, is that you used such a derogatory term!

Anyway, just before my lunch, I'm tidying up our formal wear, wedding dresses, prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses and stuff. Now a quick thing about the layout of our store. We have a main staircase at the front of the store, but we also have a smaller staircase at the back of the store, the top of which is by the formal section. There was another woman stood there, screaming and screaming into her phone. She could be heard throughout the whole store, obviously arguing with an ex or something.

Anyway, she was repeating and repeating herself, saying the same thing over and over again, repeating and repeating herself, saying the same... you get the point. Anyway, she was getting louder and louder, until two other AWESOME CUSTOMERS! walked over to her and said "Um, excuse me, you do know we can all hear you, right?"

This is when Crazy Ass woman exploded.

"I'M VERY GLAD YOU CAN ALL HEAR ME. I WANT YOU ALL TO HEAR MY PAIN!!!"

She then screamed, and stormed out, leaving us all in hysterics.

Needless to say, the awesome customers got a discount, all approved by the big manager who was there at the time :)

Then, I went on my break, and after I came back ,all hell broke loose.

I'm sorry this post is turning out long, but some crazy shit it going down.

I was immediately called over by my supervisor, who showed me some "transaction cancelled" receipts, and asked me why there were so many. I responded that I didn't know, and she said that they were all from my till number.

Now, I had only canceled on transaction because the credit card machine wasn't working, and I'd handled it correctly. But these receipts were all in my till number, and the supervisor didn't fail to hand me every single receipt so I could check that.

Unfortunately for her, I actually have a brain, and laid them out in chronological order, before pointing out to her that EVERY SINGLE RECEIPT had a time where I was either a) out leafleting or b) on my break. I told this to her, and said she could check with both the manager that sent me out leafleting, Amber, and I'd stayed in the Cafe in store, because I met up with my sister, so they could check the CCTV for the whole time. The supervisor accepted this, and went off to tell a manager, and told me not to use the tills for the rest of the day. I haven't told anyone my number, but it's in an easy pattern on the keyboard so pretty easy to remember.

Anyway, later on, the supervisor found loads of clothes behind the till, that had been returned, but was in terrible condition (they were dirty, ripped, STANK of cigarettes). They weren't even from out store (we have a small store, so we don't have most of the brands), and the ones that were stopped being sold about a year ago. They looked through the till records, and surprise surprise, they were returned on my till number. Thank God, they were returned while I was on my break.

This is all now an investigation, but I won't know anything about it for quite a while!

Now to the present. On Wednesday, I went to the doctors for a routine check up, but I was feeling pretty ill, and collapsed in the middle of the waiting room. as some of you may know, I have a heart condition, and my heart had decided it was gonna play up. Anyway, I got rushed to hospital and after millions of tests (including FIVE pregnancy tests! I mean, FIVE!). After a day in A&E they found me to have a severe viral infection, gave me a fuckton of drugs, and then told me to take 5 days in bed, three of them eating no solid foods whatsoever.

So, after three days spent mostly asleep, I phoned Ronnie today to say that there was no chance of me coming in to work tomorrow. Her response?

R: Are you sure you can't come in?

SN: Positive. I can't even make it downstairs, I have to get my family to bring me food upstairs.

R: Can you not just work through it?

... DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR A FUCKING WORD I SAID, FUCKWIT?
unfortunately, I only said "Sorry, I can barely stand up for five minutes, let alone five hours. I can't come in tomorrow

R: Fine. *click*

Sigh.

Keep surviving guys,

--THE SCIENCE NINJA!!!!

Awesome Child Custy Encounter

Hi Rhu, Just decided to check in with something that made my day

A three year old boy came up to me, with four dresses in his hands.

I took them off him, as he told me that they were a present for his mummy.

His mum was standing just by the tills, so she was watching over him.

He gave me the right money (most dresses are £5 at the moment, so it was only £20), and I gave him his receipt and as I was going to bag them up, he said "can you put them in a bag please so mummy can't see them?"

I gave him his bag, and he skipped off, happy as Larry. His mum later told me that he'd saved up his birthday and Christmas money, along with some money she gave him!

He said his please and thankyou's, and was probably one of the most polite customers that I've ever served

There is hope yet for the future generation.

Keep on fighting them retail battles,

--The Science Ninja

Science Ninja's Retail Hell: Waterfalls, N.AT.s, and Euros

Hi RHU-ers Science Ninja again with crazy fucktardness.

So. Worst day of my working life.

Why? Well, I hope your sitting comfortably, cause you're in for a hell of a ride.

Battled through the snow to get into work again, half way there getting phoned by Ronnie to see if I could come in. Get to work, open the staff entrance to a FUCKING WATERFALL.

Seriously. No shit. A fucking waterfall.

All the pipes had burst, and the engineers weren't coming out to fix it. So my day at work started with running through a waterfall and about 6 inches of water.

Yeah. And apparently, it had been doing it for about 5 hours.

And they hadn't closed the store.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED THERE?

Anyway, I went upstairs and started to work. At first it seemed great, we had 3 supervisors on, plus Ronnie was there.

I was informed that I could go home early cause they were closing the store at 8 instead of 9...

Thanks, Ronnie, you could have told me on the phone, but never mind. Then slowly, one by one, the Supervisors started leaving, until they were all gone by half an hour into my shift.

So that left Ronnie, Me, Awesome-Coworker whom I shall call Chatterbox and Xmas temp who I shall call Barbie.

I've been working for three months, Chatterbox has been working for about 2 months and Barbie has been working for three weeks. But that's fine, cause we had Ronnie, didn't we?

WRONG And hour into my shift, she left. Literally just left. Told me to get someone from downstairs when we closed up, and left.

I've been there for 3 months, and suddenly I was the most senior person on the floor, and now had supervisor duties.

Hokay... Now this wasn't a -huge- problem, in the three hours I was there, there were about 5 custys on our floor.

So as soon as she went, I called Chatterbox and Barbie over to the tills, and told them as long as nothing was atrociously messy (I mean, we'd been pretty much recovering for three days straight and the Saturday delivery couldn't get in so most of the rails were empty anyway), we'd just tidy up behind the tills, and ring out what few customers we needed to.

Kinda chilled, really. Until Big Boss came up. Now, Big Boss, who I may have mentioned before, is pretty awesome. She arrived after Ronnie did, and I have a feeling that she, along with everyone else, hates her.

Anyway, cue following conversation:

BB: Hey, Science Ninja, where's Ronnie?

SN: Ummm, she went home about half an hour ago.

BB: Wait, What?

To cut a long story short, I got sent downstairs while a more experienced (being there for a total of one year. Yeah, that's more experienced.) employee came up.

As soon as I got downstairs, more fucktardedness arose.

As ALL THREE security guys couldn't get into work, the sales manager, Elvis, was in charge of:

1: Security

2: Sorting out the waterfall

3: Being in charge of the whole store once Big Boss left

So, no one blamed him that he missed a guy come in and steal some coats. Anyway, they looked through all of the security footage before confronting me with this:

June (the supervisor downstairs): Hey, Science Ninja, we know the guy came in here, went straight to the coats, took them , and walked out. He was wearing a green hoody and baseball cap, and he looked like he knew what he was doing. And he'll probably come in again, so if you could just stand here so you'll be able to see him if he does.

After she went I was just like "Ok.... Wait, FUCK I DUNNO WHAT TO DO!" \

I thought about rugby tackling him, but I'm just about hitting 5'2", so that wouldn't work. I couldn't chase after him, being ever-so-slightly-chubby and also having a heart condition which, at this moment in time, was deciding to play up a bit making my heart play out a bit of a jazz rhythm.

In the end, he didn't come in, so I breathed a sigh of relief, before going and asking Elvis what to do.

And the icing on this ShitCake?

I was asked to cash up one of the drawers in Lingerie. And I found €100 in the till, in notes and coins.

Now, we don't accept Euros. And seeing as I'd only ever cashed up once before, when I first started, I didn't have a clue what to do.

So, I phoned through to Elvis, and he told me to "Just sign out, and go home. I'll sort it out."

And now apparently there's a big investigation going on, cause this has happened before. I'm hoping to find out more on my next shift, I'll keep you informed, dear friends Til next time,

--The Science Ninja

 

Scroogy Manger Gets Told By The Boss

Hi RHU, Science Ninja here (again. I swear I spend too much time on this site)

A follow on from Mistress Macha's story, it's snowing here in England too!

And for where I live, the first time this year, whereas everywhere else has already had snow. This made us very unprepared.

Anyway, as this is concerning my awful manager, who I haven't named yet, I shall give her a name. I shall call her Ronnie. Why? Because I feel like it.

Anyway, I struggled into work yesterday, narrowly avoiding a gas explosion (Yeah. a Gas Explosion. I wish I was making it up.) and a crash on the diversion route. All in all the 10 minute journey took an hour.

So I called Ronnie and said I was gonna be late. And she told me off -.-

Firstly, I wasn't even supposed to be working yesterday. She called me in on my day off, which I was planning to spend on studying like fuck for my exams in January. But no, I trundled in like a good little retail slav.

Secondly, I PHONED IN YOU DOUCHEBAG! Loads of people just didn't bother turning up! So, I got there, and immediately was sent to Lingerie. No big deal, I don't know this area of the store, but there will be someone there to help me... right?

Wrong. 

I was left on my own for half of the time, and the rest of the time I just had Blondie, my supervisor, who has also... never been on lingerie.

Fuck. Me. Anyway, at about 11 we heard that all the buses home were being stopped after 12 o'clock. So some people were sent home so they could catch the last bus.

At about 12, the store started sending people home who lived in the outlying villages. Including me.

This is my conversation with Ronnie:

R: Science Ninja, how do you get home? (She actually talks like this. I think she's Hungarian. No offense to Hungarian people.)

SN: My Mum's working until four today, then she's picking me up.

R: You can stay longer?

SN: No.

R: But you can stay til four?#

SN: Possibly, as long as the snow holds out.

At about 12:30, I was on a break and got a phone call from my Mum (sorry, this is a bit wordy, but you kinda have to know it to get the story.)

SNM: Science Ninja, I got a call from Dad, and if we're gonna get home, we have to go now. The snows getting over a foot deep.

So, I trudged off to find Ronnie to tell her this.

And her response?

R: No.

SN: Say what?

R: You said you stay til four, you must stay til four.

SN: But I can't get home else!

R: Your problem!

Big Boss: Ronnie, what the hell are you doing! Send her home!

SN: :3

The only people left working in the end were those who lived in the town, and those who couldn't physically get home who got: A stay in a B&B overnight Dinner A pair of Pajamas from the store, plus any other supplies they needed (deoderant, toothpaste, underwear etc) All paid for by corporate.

They're not all evil XD

But my working day wasn't done, oh no.

When we got home, we saw an opportunity for good children points from Santa XD

We live on the top of a hill, and in this deep snow, lots of cars were finding it hard to get up the hill.

So the males in our family set out in the 4X4's (we have four in our household, plus my aunt's makes 7. And wait to be attacked by environmentalists...) towing people up the hill.

And the females set out making cups of tea for those helping and those stuck in the snow.

We made trips to the elderly in the village, along with those trapped in the cars waiting to be towed. Cause we're nice like that.

If I don't see you again, Happy Winterval RHU-ers!

--The (very cold) Science Ninja!

 

Science Ninja: Coworker and Bridezilla Hell

First off, I just have to say.

My line managers an idiot.

Today, she scheduled: My supervisor, me, another guy who started the same time as me and SEVEN BRAND NEW CHRISTMAS TEMPS.

So, screw me in the head with a hammer, I was training two other girls. (Lets call them Bella - honestly she didn't shut up about Twilight for FIVE HOURS - and Arwen - cause she looks exactly like The Lord of the Rings character)

But, SCIENCE NINJA, I hear you cry. You've only been working four weeks. Yes. Yes I have. And I haven't been given a till number yet. sigh.

Anyway, as soon as I got on, I found another new girl, not Bella or Arwen, completely failing at fitting room duty. So, I offered to show her how to do it.

After showing someone in, I turned back round to find the girl and SHE WAS GONE!

She had just walked off.

So me, Bella and Arwen were left on the fitting rooms for THREE HOURS.

By the end of it, I hurt.

But now comes BRIDEZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, Miss Bridezilla came in with her mother, Zillamother.

Now, they weren't -complicated- as such. But they just wound everyone in the whole store (and eventually the whole store chain) up.

If you were getting married, and needing to buy bridesmaid dresses, what would you do? I personally would bring the bridesmaids along to try on their dresses on themselves.

But apparently this is too complicated for Bridezilla and Zillamother. No.

They tried all the dresses on between them, and estimated what sizes the bridesmaids would need.

They had Bella and Arwen running back and forth to find different dress sizes for an HOUR.

Then they went and ordered - wait for it - 20 dresses!

Totalling over £2000!!!

After all the dresses were processed, they said their goodbyes and went on their way.

The next person to order something came up, and we tried to ask the computer to order it and, surprise surprise, it crashed.

Never mind, we are good retail slaves, so we used the phone to phone the ordering service in London.

Guess what, RHU-ers?

Bridezilla had crashed the WHOLE ordering system, nationally!

Apart from that little rant, working life has been pretty good so far,

Until next time!

--The Science Ninja