From Grocery Slave, posted to RHU, October 2010:
The Ten Commandments of Being a Good Customer
1. The tags on the shelf have the item description on them as well as the price, please read the tag and make sure the price you are looking at is for the item you have in your hand.
If there is no tag on the shelf, do not expect to get the item free at checkout. Please find an associate in the department and ask for the price. Also, read the sign for the phrase "with in store coupon". We cashiers get extremely sick of hearing "that was supposed to be $____" when there is a coupon for that item. We also get sick of hearing you ask if there is a coupon for that item. We work hard enough, do us a favor and use your eyes.
2. The light on the registers are designed to tell you whether the lane is open or closed.
When the light is on and shining, the register is open. You don't have to ask "are you open?" if there is no one in line, it's just slow.
If the light is off, and the number appears dark, the register is closed.
If there is a cashier there ringing up groceries, they are ringing up their last order, do not enter.
Great, I understand you like to save money. However, please please please read them!! Read every inch of the coupon, yes, even the fine print! It will tell you exactly which product and which size of that product the coupon is for.
4. NO CELL PHONES.
Even if your phone rings in line and everyone looks at you, don't pick it up. Your BFF can wait, like, one sec while you pay for your food.
And no texting either.
I WILL talk to you, I have to, and I expect you to talk back.
That brings me to my next point.
5. Speak back when you are spoken to.
I will say hello to you, say hello back (at this point you may ask me how I am if you'd like). I will ask you how you are, please give me at least one adjective to describe your current self. You can say you're terrible if you want, I don't care! Just an answer and a "how are you?" back would be appreciated for politeness' sake.
I will also ask you if you found everything okay, just a yes or a no answer will suffice.
If you say no, I will then ask you what I can help you find, and we'll proceed in finding your item.
6. Please make sure you have everything that you needed on your list before you enter the checkout.
We don't like having to call back to our very busy departments to have an item specially brought up to you. It takes longer for them to find what you forgot and bring it up, than it takes for you to go get it yourself.
It makes the people waiting in line behind you a lot happier, too!
7. The conveyor belt is not a toy.
The sign that says "keep small children away from belt to avoid pinching" is there for a reason.
I don't know what is so entertaining to kids about a moving piece of rubber, but keep their little hellspawn hands off!
8. While we're on the subject of the conveyor belt, let's talk about where and where not to place your money and coupons.
It's real simple.
Don't put anything small and flat on the conveyor belt unless you'd like to lose it.
My hand is outstretched so that you may place your money and coupons into it, please make use of this convenience rather than the conveyor belt.
This also includes Kool Aid packets.
Put them on top of another item, or if they're the only items you're buying just hand them to me.
9. It would be nice if you didn't say the classic lines every time certain situations arise.
I have heard "Yup, and more." a million times. I realize you are making fun of your own eating/spending habits, and that is your "clever" phrase for "I really shouldn't be buying this junk food" or "I really shouldn't be spending all this money on things I don't need", but it's not funny, it's very old.
It was maybe a smidge humorous the first time I heard it, but not anymore. Also, if I have trouble scanning an item or it doesn't ring up in the system, please don't say "it must be free!" because that's stupid, why would you get an item free just because it has a bad barcode or it's a new item that's not in the system yet??
It's a joke, I realize, but it's just not funny. Joke about something that hasn't already been joked about if you are going to joke at all.
10. If you are proven wrong, please accept it.
Everyone is proven wrong at some point. If you notice an item rang up higher than you thought, and you ask the cashier for a price check, the price they will find for you is the correct price.
An employee can be trusted, believe me, we would never give you a wrong price on purpose. Don't go storming back to the shelf, especially during the middle of your order, because you will be wrong and come back ashamed.
And don't you dare rip a price tag off the shelf that contains the price you saw.
I guarantee you it will say that the price is for a different item. However, you shouldn't need price checks because you obeyed commandment one. But because of you sinful customers, this commandment was established.