Retail Hell Underground

Brave Coffee Slingers in Boston

Via: Business Insider

Even though Boston is under a strict lockdown during the manhunt for bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Massachusetts-based Dunkin' Donuts remains open to serve first responders, BuzzFeedreports.

A Newton store manager told BuzzFeed,  "There was an automated message going around telling businesses to close, but because we're Dunkin' Donuts, we called the police department and they said we didn't have to."

An official statement followed: "At the direction of authorities, select Dunkin' Donuts restaurants in the Boston area are open to take care of the needs of law enforcement and first responders."

Customers have been Instagramming images of full stores. Ahmed Eldin posted a picture with the caption, "America still runs on Dunkin even during a lockdown. Dunkin Donuts at Prudential Center."

The chain hasn't promoted that it is open on social media, but it has discussed how it will help.

The Dunkin' Donuts Facebook page does have the message that it is donating $100,000 to The One Fund Boston, which will support family members of bombing victims. A post also states, " Boston-area franchisees have been and will continue to support emergency workers in the community, including sending trucks to serve coffee and hot chocolate."

Grateful Massachussets natives have responded positively.

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It's really great that so many people are pulling together to get this tragedy rectified. Our hearts go out to the people of Boston, from all of us at RHU.
And to those RHUers who are in the area, and who may have been affected personally; we send our comfort and well wishes. 
And I really hope they pay those brave coffee slingers double time for quite possibly risking their lives to keep the police caffeinated.

Will This Make You Ship Your Pants?

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/ship-my-pants-kmart-ad_n_3069515.html

Is It Opposite Day?

          
                        Well....that one on the right has a little green on it....

A Very Accurate Mug

         
Saw this mug at Cracker Barrel (so you know where to get if if you wanna buy one) I'd say it's pretty spot on, eh?

Monday HaHa

                            

I just saw this article on Catster. It's the persepective of customer service from cats.
Silly and trite, I know, but on Monday we all need a little something silly. 
 

New RHU Term

        
Retail: The Comic has provided a very accurate and useful term for us to use when referring to those custys who bug us off the clock or when we are on our way to go home/break/lunch.
This is an awesome comic strip. If you don't follow it yet, I highly suggest you make it a part of your morning routine. It's so very spot on!

Luvs And Boobies

So, I just saw this commercial, and I'm guessing it's gonna start a firestorm of controversy.
So lets get your input. Is it inappropriate?
There are many advocates for natural breastfeeding in public; as well as many people who are strongly opposed to it.
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as there's decent modesty about it...not waving the titties around like a banner.
I don't mind this commercial at all, it doesn't show any more boobage than a bikini or a low cut blouse.
But because the topic of the situation is breastfeeding, I'm sure many people will go bananas.

  
And in case they take the video down for being inappropriate...a quick synopsys is that in the first half, the mom is struggling with her first child to nurse in the corner of a restaurant, draped in a big blanket and looking around nervously. In the second part, the mom is just nursing casually in the middle of the restaurant...not showing much cleavage, but not shamefully hiding it either. 

Money Doesn't Buy Taste

Remember thatWorld's Most Expensive Drink?

Yeah...it sucked.

According to this article the drink was only given a sip and passed for "good"
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does the man whose name will sit in the record books alongside the world's most expensive cocktail do when his much-hyped $12,500 masterpiece finally arrives?

The buyer, who wished to remain anonymous, last night took a few polite sips for the assembled media, and nibbled gingerly on the edible garnish it was served with. He appeared somewhat overwhelmed by the fuss that included his own roped-off section of Crown Melbourne's exclusive Bar 23 and a chair probably more accurately described as a throne.

Pronouncing it to be "good", the buyer signed a cheque and an official statutory declaration, then disappeared into the night.

The mega-expensive concoction was tasted and then wasted as its purchaser departed the scene of the world record attempt. Photo: Steve Colquhoun

The majority of the most expensive cocktail ever poured was left undrunk, still nestled in its ridiculously splendid hand-made garnish.

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This concoction has occupied the considerable skills of a highly trained barman and a team of chefs over two days, and contains two nips of an 1858-vintage cognac at $6000 a shot - along with Grand Marnier Quintessence, chartreuse Vieillissement Exceptionnellement Prolonge, and a dash of Angostura bitters.

It has been hyped, coveted, obsessed over, and promoted in local and national media in the days leading up to the event. The Guinness Book of World Records has been notified, and official witnesses drafted - including the author of this story - to attest to the historic moment.

The basis for the cocktail is a bottle of Croizet cognac dating to 1858. It is, itself, already a world-record holder, having previously been valued at $157,000.

The bottle was purchased from Croizet by Bar 23. Its barman, Joel Heffernan, put two days' preparation into the cocktail.

Heffernan's concoction was presented with chocolate nutmeg dust, essence of poppy seed and roses, and hints of coconut, passionflower and oranges.

The previous world record for a single cocktail is held by Salvatore's Legacy, a concoction developed by barman Salvatore Calabrese using Clos de Griffier Vieux cognac that dates to 1778. It sold for £5500 ($8330) in October last year in a London bar.

Crown spokeswoman Ann Peacock said although the world record would belong solely to the New Zealand businessman, anyone else with the inclination - and finance - to try the Winston would still be able to indulge.

The guest of honour had arrived at Bar 23 dressed in a white shirt, casual black pants and a pair of sandals that would probably not have made it past the front door any night other than this one.

It was later explained that the buyer wasn't feeling well. He had retired to his room and was unlikely to return.

Still, the media abhors a vacuum, so it was left to the other star of the hour, barman Heffernan, to make himself comfortable in the plush chair and accept all the plaudits and glory. Which he happily did.

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Damnit! If i'm gonna ever have a drink that costs thousands of dollars it'd better taste better than the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and made by mermaids and pink bunnies. 

Parking Entitlement

           
    Ok, dude, seriously? I know there's a lot of empty spaces, but that still doesn't give you permission to park like an assbasket and take up three spaces. You are not that awesome.

Bullshit Employee Treatment

Liberty Tax Service is officially on my shit list this week.
Here in Illinois, winter is finally being "normal" today. It's 17f with a wind chill of -2f and wind gusts of up to 25mph...and it's snowing.

And in this lovely and balmy weather, as I drove through town on my way to do some errands, I saw that LTS had one of it's employees standing on the corner by their store in a Statue of Liberty costume. (Not the one in the picture)

I know that we Illinois folks are moderatly tempered to handling cooler temperatures, but even that doesn't mean that we'd want to go prance around upon orders from our management.

I wanted to stop and give the lady a hot cocoa or something, but she was gone by the time I drove past again. 

I Think This Applies To Most Of Us

                                 

Getting To Know You

I will say first off, that this post is not inherently retailcentric. Rather it's a conversational/comment encouraging post so we can all get to know each other a little better...without revealing any of our retail idenities.

This is just for fun, I'd like to know more about all of you. I won't stalk you, I promise! 

So, without further ado...

THE RHU READERS SURVEY! Whee!

1. What is your RHU alias? (I'm Spritzy...of course)

2. What type of store do you shop at the most? (I shop at craft stores a lot)

3. Name a store from which you would never-ever buy something again? (For me, it'd be Sears Home Appliance, they royally screwed us over)

4. If you could work for any other retail business, what would it be -a specific store or a  general category? (I'd work at Hobby Lobby..I did in college and really liked it...it's nice that they're closed on Sunday and close at 8pm, so you get a weekend day and nights off)

5. What business has the best employees you've met? (At my local Target there's this awesome lady from Frankfurt, Germany...she has a really thick accent and is so friendly and always remembers even semi-regulars)

6. What business has the worst employees you've met? ( I'd go with Sears Home Appliance once again...since they treated us so poorly)

7. If Wolverine, Gandalf, and Chuck Norris waged an epic battle, who would win? (I choose Discord...because ponies)

8. What's your favorite color/food/movie/song? (Olivine, chicken tenders, The Number 23, Bacon Pancakes)

9. What is the best month of the year and why? (I like April, cause it's nice and cool and the flowers are blooming and there's often a lot of sunshine...and Easter)

10.  How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol horde got bored? (42, because that's THE answer.)

The Wreath Lady

   The other day I found myself drifting into the murky past of my retail history. Upon that trip through Nightmare Boulevard, I happened to remember my encounter with...The Wreath Lady.
*foreboding music*

When I was in college and working weekends and school breaks at a craft store, I usually worked one of the departments...stocking, ordering, helping customers...but a few days I ran register as well.

On one particularly nice afternoon, the kind where you'd almost be willing to roll around on gravel just to be let out and enjoy the cool, sweet air and the bright, warm sunshine, my fellow cashier "GG" (who had been working there since they opened) and I were wistfully gazing out the window between customers and waiting for our shifts to end.

Suddenly the wind shifted. The sky reminded bright and the air remained cool...but the cheerful sweetness had left, leaving a sour uneasiness. Even the birds flitted away and cowered in hushed silence.
Enter, The Wreath Lady, with a glaring expression and a superior air about her.

"Oh crap!" whispered GG.

"What?!" I hushed back.

"That's the Wreath Lady!"

"Oh, Lord. This isn't gonna be good, is it?"

I had never encountered TWL but I had enough jadedness of retail to know that when I crusty gains nickname status, it's something to be noted.

TWL strolled over to the floral dept with her cart, pointing her nose and eyeing everyone as though se were walking through a peasant village instead of a craft store. She went and loaded her cart to overfilling with grapevine wreaths and headed to my register. GG breathed a sigh of relief, I braced for impact. 

"Oh course it had to be my register...I'm so lucky" I thought with a twist in my stomach.

TWL stood at my register, leering at me and doing nothing.

"Well?!" She snorted. "Aren't you going to ring me up?!"

Realizing that she thought herself too good to unload her own cart, I reached over and started taking the wreaths out of the basket. They were very large wreaths, and shoved rather firmly into the cart as well...becoming somewhat tangled.

Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with grapevine wreaths, they are twisty bundles of dried vines with lots of little twigs and tendrils and sprigs sticking out all over. They are very brittle and considerably delicate for their size.

As soon as I gave the slightest tug on the first wreath, TWL screeched at me. 

"What are you doing!? Don't you break my wreaths!"

I offered to key them in manually, since we would just type in the price and dept code anyway, I figured I could just look at the tags while they were still in the basket.
She looked at me with disgust.
 
"Don't be stupid. I WANT them BAGGED! And don't you break a single twig!"

Internally I thought, oh shit, bags? For grapevine wreaths?  Without breaking off any of the tiny little bits that stick out? You gotta be kidding me.
So for the next hour or so, I painstakingly removed each wreath from the cart, keyed it in, and placed them in bags with surgical precision. With TWL all the while sighing and tapping her foot and rapping her fingers with professional grade impatience. Some of the largest ones wouldn't fit entirely into a bag and TWL growled at me.

"Put two bags on that one, I don't want them ruined by having any sticking out!"

*Sigh* I delicately pull another bag over the other end of the largest wreath, the middle still stuck out.

"I'm sorry, these are the biggest bags we have" I meeped

TWL just glared as if I'd just said her shoes looked like she stepped in aardvark shit. (Which they did, by the way)

Once the order was completed, I told her the total and she pulled out her checkbook and scrawled out the info. I lifted the bags and handed them to her lightly, which she promptly smushed back into the cart. I cringed with the sound of her precious tendrils crunching and snapping with each shove.

And the fondant on this crapcake of a story is, when I glanced at her check to put it in the till, it was one of those Bible verse checks...and the verse was even something about patience and kindness. Way to be a good example of what you claim to represent, lady.

~Spritzy 

It Ain't Easy Being Cheesycotic

Holy snack time, Batman! People really need to chill out about their junk food.

From burglars leading the cops to their doorstep with a trail of Cheetos to schools banning the popular snacks, the outrage over these crunchy tidbits is getting out of control.

We are all familiar with the ever so (unfortunately) common incidents of customers flipping their shit over a minor inconvenience in the fast food line. And now people are taking their grease-laden rage to the snack isle.

~~~
In Texas, a woman beat her sister to the point of unconsciousness when the girl was found munching the cheesy goodness.

After the Oct. 11 incident, Deby Mejia, 23, reportedly told investigators thatshe resents her little sister for being born and never loved her, KHOU reported.

Mejia's little sister reportedly brought a bag of Cheetos to their Houston apartment while Mejia was away. The woman allegedly came home to find her sister snacking and went ballistic. She's accused of whipping the little girl with an extension cord, then banging her head on the floor into unconsciousness, according to The Weekly Vice.

The woman was charged with child abuse and put in jail. But investigators and neighbors said this wasn't the first time she'd hurt her sister.

Mejia has looked after the the girl since their mother was deported to Honduras in 2006. A neighbor told KHOU that there was regular abuse, including a punishment that included Meija forcing her sister to kneel on a bag of rice while balancing a bucket of water on her head.

A CPS worker told reporters that there is no record of Mejia or the abuse. Had CPS been informed of a minor caring for another minor, they would have looked into the case, according to KHOU. The victim is now in foster care.

The suspect doesn't feel any remorse for the alleged crime and doesn't think she did anything wrong, KTRK reported. She's scheduled to appear in court on Nov. 13, and her bail was set at $60,000.
~~~

C'mon people...it's a damn cheese puff...or a fucking cheeseburger...or a shitty chicken nugget. Chill the fuck out and take a step back to realise how moronic you're acting.

*sigh* 

Oh Fuck No

Oh no she didn't!
The writer of this article thinks it's a cute idea to encourage parents to allow their kids to run rampant in stores.
Going even further, she suggests intentionally going to a store for the sole purpose of having their kids raise hell and trash the store.
My heart weeps for the retail slaves who have to bear the brunt of this lady's advice.

 

The 5 BEST STORES FOR A PLAYDATE

Sephora: If you’re feeling frumpy, this is a great place to meet up with other moms for a playdate. Buy your kid a cookie, put him in the stroller and head over to Sephora in the late afternoon. Make sure you get there before 5pm; you don’t want to compete with women who are picking up products on their way home from work. You’ll get to glam it up for free and paint your face with high end cosmetics that you can no longer afford now that you’re on a budget. You will also be able to style your hair with fancy products and try out pricey perfumes. Take the perfume spritzing papers for your kids and come up with a counting game. They can play with those while you’re tramping yourself out. Plan a hot date that night after your kid goes to bed.

Macy’s: Grab a coffee and head to Macy’s. Hit the furniture department first. The kids will enjoy trying out different couches and chairs. Find an area that’s pretty closed in so they can’t get away from you. You can sit with the other parent and chat a bit while the kids play. They’ll enjoy pretending they have 50 different living rooms. When they get bored ride the elevator up and down a few times.  Next stop should be the luggage department. Kids like trying to pull bags around that are bigger than they are.  Finish the playdate up with a pillow fight in the bedding department.

Petland Discounts: A good alternative to the zoo or aquarium. Zoos and aquariums are expensive, crowded and usually not as close as a pet shop. Your child will enjoy looking at cats, rodents and fish. For free!There are toys too and they’re much cheaper than the ones you’ll find at the zoo. Beware of squeaky toys though, they can become annoying. Also remember that explaining why bones are for sale to a child could get tricky. They will be confused and not sure why animals are chewing on bones. They may ask you what type of bone it is and where it came from. Good luck with that conversation.

Barnes and Noble: It’s full of new books and toys that the kids can actually play with. There is a Starbucks for you and your fellow mom and milk boxes are for sale for the kids. The bathrooms are large and clean. There aren’t any librarians to yell at your children for running and not whispering. Your kids can get a good game of hide and seek going in the children’s section.

Costco: If you’re feeling lazy and too tired to pack lunch for the kids, head over to Costco around 11:45am and fill up on free samples. You can make a meal out of it and get to have dessert too. The kids will enjoy being in a giant warehouse. Make a game out of looking up and counting the number of items stacked way up high. Also, they’ll get a kick out of the giant boxes of cereal. Make up a game that Costco is where giants live. You won’t be too far off. They can also play house in the sheds that are usually for sale. If they get bored, take them into the super cold produce section. That’ll wake them up.

 

Dear God, what *is* this lady thinking!? I hearby sentence her to one year retail employment with daily visits by a schoolbus full of truant children that have just been fed an entire bag of cotton candy and a venti caramel macchiato.

 

McD's Counterfeit Beatdown

It seems that the fast food crazies are at it again. This time over an employee doing their job at checking a $50 for authenticity. 
What is frustrating is that the employee, who did nothing until the customers threatened and attacked him first, was held on $40,000 bail (though not indited), while the customers got off with community service...when none of this would have happened in the first place if the customers had kept their cool and let the guy do his job.


 

 

I know the guy went overboard on his attempt of defending himself. But I find it a bit insulting that the first article focuses on his past criminal record and his actions after the customers hit him first then LEPT OVER THE TABLE AND CHASED HIM.
Then the second article, it seems that they chose not to take the customers to trial was because the video shown above was too strong against them and any evidence in their favor was too circumstantial or unable to be found. (Wouldn't one think those would be *good* reasons to take defendant to trail?)
Then the employee even shows his remorse and better nature by saying he doesn't wish jail time on the customers despite their wish to see him imprisoned.

So, yet again, min-wage employees are verboten from defending themselves, are held under stricter scrutiny when they do, and the offending persons get a pity party for any repercussions they may receive.

Yes Ma'am! May I have another Ma'am? 

Tasty Turkey Titties!

 

There are no words *eyeroll*

YoYo the Yodeling Hellcat Says:

                  

Somehow I Really Doubt That

I find it a bit unlikely that the employees would rather be selling people caffeinated beverages at 5:30 a.m. instead of getting a small chance at some rest.

Introducing Spritzy Posts!

Howdy doody y'all! I have recently been initiated into the elite group of RHU Blog Post Experts! Whee! *Happy Dance* And so, for my first post, for practice and amusement purposes...a pic and a vid for all to enjoy.

"The elusive Holiday Tiger stealthily stalks it's prey, hidden in it's natural habitat of striped festive socks." 

 

Foamy is so insightful, isn't he?