We have a new joke going around the store:
Foofy Sparklepants is a klepto.
Phone Cards, money, wallets, souls… you name it, she swipes it. (not really)
She WAS accused of stealing a phone card (she got out of it because I verified a customer had purchased the damn thing) and a wallet.
Some fucker comes in the other day and starts screaming he’s bringing the police in, HE wants to watch the tapes, because either Foofy or Stumpy stole his step-son’s wallet after he left it on the counter. There was $400 in it.
…uh, what? He loses a wallet with a lot of cash in it and you wait TWO FUCKING DAYS to come in?
We inform him that local police cannot be brought in, as it is Tribal Land, land that does not officially belong to the U.S, and only Tribal Police can look.
They looked. No one left a wallet behind that day. I haven’t heard about it since.
OH! Then we had ANOTHER ASSHOLE!
WTF is it about the heat? When it rises, the general I.Q of the local population drops.
Someone calls in, and Stumpy answers. I’m standing there as both Shift Leaders were in the middle of something, and I’m just there in case things get ugly. Apparently, he left his gas card behind earlier, but said ‘put it in an envelope, I’ll be in later to gas up.’
I guess the fucker got it, because then we’re told ‘I told the guy at the counter I was gonna gas up, and to turn the pump on’. Please keep in mind, he’s cussing poor Stumpy out the entire time, though I don’t know which choice of words he used with her.
No one turned the pump on for him, rawr rawr rawr, if we don’t ‘get [our] fucking shit together we will have LOST a customer who comes and gets $300 worth of diesel EVERY DAY!’
I took the phone, introduced myself, and explained to him that there was no ‘guy’ at the counter when he went in on First Shift. Oh, how do I know this? Well, sir, there is only ONE male worker on first shift, and he was in the window in the Smoke Shop all day. I’m sorry, you must have mistaken someone for one of our workers, though if you made contact, it IS no excuse on our workers. (my shift can’t stand first shift, the ‘perfect’ shift whose shit don’t stink…)
‘Yes, sir, I understand that you purchase quite a bit of diesel from our location.’
I’m getting called everything in the book, from ‘stupid bitch’ to ‘dumb cunt’ and others.
I don’t have a lot of patience and in the heat, it’s just not there. I told him ‘Sir, I’m sorry, but if you keep verbally abusing me like this, I will put you on speaker phone so the camera’s audio can hear that I will be totally justified in hanging up on you. For that matter, whose business will we be losing? [Charter Bus Tours], they get around 7 grand worth of diesel a week from us. [Local towing company], he comes in every other day to fill up both trucks, for about 400 each. Or are you with [Landfill], they do about the same. I’m sorry, we really do so much business in large diesel sales, I’m afraid your 300 a day kind of gets lost in the numbers running in my head.’
He hung up on me.
AND MY SUPER AWESOME GOOD NEWS THAT OH MY FUCKING GOD I NEED TO THROW A PARTY!!!
She quit! She’s GONE! She is no longer eligible for rehire in the tribe!
Don’t know where she’s gone, and I don’t CARE! As long as she’s not at the store anymore!
Let me explain this- Nothing my shift did was good enough for her. The entire wall of cigarettes could be stocked, but we sold one carton right before she came up. Apparently, we did NOTHING all night, so why should SHE stock ANY cigarettes? I’m not exaggerating when I say that, either.
She actually would get in the face of one of the first shift shift leaders, put her finger in her face and call her a ‘fucking bitch’. We are ALL happy to see her ass GO!
That alone has made my week.
--Terah