Retail Hell Underground

Gamer Has Stroke, Game Continues And No Fucks Are Given

So Foofy played her first game of Bingo the other day, and this was the story she had to tell me. I don’t know if it fits as retail, but we’ll see.

There was a lady sitting a few chairs over from Foofy and her friend, and at one point during the game, she just flopped over on the table.

A woman in scrubs got up from her chair and went over to check on her and started screaming, "Stop the game! She’s NOT BREATHING!"

“I-19.”

Yes, RHU, they KEPT PLAYING! The woman in scrubs was doing CPR and would scream “Stop the game! Stop the game, someone call an ambulance!”

“O-64.”

People were still dabbing their numbers, not even paying attention. Foofy’s friend called 911, while Foofy couldn’t help it. It was one of those situations that was SO FUCKED UP you couldn’t help, but laugh.

“Oh my god! None of you even CARE! You’re too busy just stamping away, what is WRONG with you?”

“B-12.”

By now, the announcer was glancing over to see what was going on when the police and the EMTs ran in.

“G-56.”

The woman ended up waking up, and they were ready to haul her off to the hospital. The most fucked up part of this whole escapade? The woman REFUSED to go to the hospital until she played her last 6 cards.

“I still have six cards left, I’m not going anywhere until I play them!”

They kept telling her she’d had a stroke, and she had to go to the hospital right then. Her arm was useless at that time, but she refused to leave. Just REFUSED. They had to make the decision that her judgment was impaired enough that she couldn’t make her own decisions to get her out of there.

“N-35.”

And they kept going. Foofy ended up taking her cards after she was taken away to the hospital.

How’s that for a group of people not caring?

--Terah The Gas Slave

Terah Recalls A Day When Beer Was Bought Faster Than It Could Be Stocked

This is just something I remembered today. It happened about 4 years ago, when our Sunday beer sales were worse than they are now.

It was SLAMMED in the store. Shift Leader 1 had to take over my register so I could stock beer. I don’t recall leaving the cooler that night unless it was for breaks.

At about 8, the now manager walked in. I don’t remember why she was there. I think she was in to get her cigarettes and some gas. When she saw Shift Leader 1 on register, she asked her who was supposed to be there. Shift Leader 1 told her that it was me, and the now manager got upset and wondered why I wasn’t helping.

Shift Leader 1 explained the situation to her. I couldn’t keep beer on the shelves. One thing I vividly remember about that night was stocking one entire door completely full and turned around to grab some 30 packs for the next door. I turned back around and in that 15 to 20 second window, half the display was gone.

The now manager was very upset over this, because we were obviously too short staffed at the time to deal with this, and on first shift, the shift she works, is NEVER this busy on its WORST days. So, she just assumed we were exaggerating about how bad it gets. She even asked Shift Leader 1 if this was just an abnormal day.

"No," she responded, "this is actually pretty mild."

The now manager then went to the back, clocked in, and came into the cooler with me and stayed for the rest of the shift, and I think for half of third shift and helped with the cooler.

The funniest thing about that night was when she picked up a flat of 2 12 packs, water had dripped onto the cardboard and it broke, sending one of the 12 packs to the floor. She suddenly screamed out "SON OF A B-" before stopping and looking to where I was standing.

I waved and smiled.

She then finished that off with "…bug gun."

I promised to not turn her in to the swear jar and she let me pick my 2 days off for the next schedule.

--Terah The Gas Slave

A Heavenspawn Does A Sweet Thing For A Custy

We have a regular customer that everyone on our shift knows. He’s the sweetest thing ever, and he’s completely deaf. For here, I’m gonna call him Lil’ Deaf Dude.

Lil’ Deaf Dude knows you can’t understand him, and he tries so hard to make himself clear. I’ve seen him stand for several minutes trying to let us know what kind of cigarettes he wants. And when you finally DO get it, he seems so proud of you and of himself. So, I think he’s the sweetest thing.

Today, he was in the store and a little boy wanted to wave at him and say ‘Hi’. But Lil’ Deaf Dude couldn’t hear him, of course, and had his back to the boy.

The kid was getting more and more upset that Lil’ Deaf Dude wasn’t turning around, so I said, "I’m sorry, buddy, but he can’t hear you. He’s deaf."

As I went over to get Lil’ Deaf Dude to turn around for the little boy, I heard his mother explain that being deaf was that his "ears were broken" and "didn’t work".

The little boy, who was maybe 4, looked SO UPSET that Lil’ Deaf Dude had broken ears, that he ran up and gave him a hug and said he hoped he got his ears fixed.

When Lil’ Deaf Dude’s grandson came to pick him up not long after, I told him what had happened so he could tell his grandpa. It was cute.

--Terah The Gas Slave

Tera's Second Encounter With Satan's Spawn Requires Security

From: Terah The Gas Slave

This is another story of Satan’s Spawn. I told you the first story so I could tell you this one.

I was on cleaning duty with Cuz one day, when Shift Leader 2 came over. She asked me if I knew how to load money on to these crappy little prepay visa cards from our machines. I told her yes, that I’m honestly the only person on the shift who can consistently do this with no mistakes and if she needs me.

Shift Leader 2: Well, Satan’s Spawn came in a little while ago and wanted $200 on it. I asked her to wait while I made sure it loaded, but she took the card and left. Now I’m going to be $200 over in my register, but I think she’s going to call back. Will you handle it? She was being very hateful when she came in and I don’t want to deal with her.

I grinned like the Cheshire cat and agreed. While I’m continuing to clean, the phone rings and a coworker answers it. She puts it on hold and tells me it’s Satan’s Spawn. I put it on speaker phone because of how I plan to word my answers and I don’t want this lying little cunt to get me in trouble.

Terah: Thank you for calling [Store] this is Terah speaking, how my I help you?

Satan’s Spawn: Hi, I was just in there, and one of your idiot workers didn’t put my money on my Visa card right. Is there anything you can do to help?

Terah: Well, ma’am, I’m afraid there’s no way to help you, but if you come in, I can get you exactly what you deserve.

She agrees to come in, so Cuz and I run to the store side and catch a security guard. I explain the situation to him, that I’m so pissed at this girl that just seeing her now makes me see red.

I want him in there as insurance that I don’t do something stupid. Honestly, I want him in there for HER protection. I didn’t know what I’d do otherwise. I then show Shift Leader 2 how to load money on the cards and after a few minutes, Satan’s Spawn comes in. I grab Cuz by the arm to squeeze as stress relief.

Shift Leader 2 tries to make pleasant small talk, but this little cunt won’t have any of that.

Shift Leader 2: And how are you doing? I’m sorry we didn’t get this worked out the first time, but we’ll get it this time!

Satan’sSpawn: Uh-huh. Can you do this right this time? Or should we get someone in here who isn’t retarded?

I squeezed Cuz by the arm so hard he thought I was going to break it. The security guard inches closer to her because, according to him later on, I looked ready to climb over the counter.

Shift Leader 2: Well here you go ma’am. This is loaded properly this time, and I’m very sorry about the mess. Anything else I can help you with?

Satan’sSpawn: If it doesn’t work this time, I’m getting you fired. I have a car to pay for!

Terah: At least this time you’re actually paying for it, and not dumping it so other people can pay.

She finally saw me standing there, went pale as a sheet and ran out as fast as she could. I don’t understand how Shift Leader 2 sat through that verbal abuse, but at least I didn’t hurt anyone.

…excluding poor Cuz and his arm.

--Terah The Gas Slave

Terah And Foofy Try To Get A Truck, Asshat Manager Insults Foofy

From: Terah The Gas Slave

As I mentioned once, Foofy was in a bad wreck that destroyed her vehicle. She went to a car lot to pick out a new truck and found one that was within her price range. The salesman was very nice to her and I drove her home to get everything she needed and drove her back to finish signing everything.

She went in, and Stumpy and I were exploring the truck, admiring it and just loving it, when she came back out in tears. My ‘Asshole Salesman’ senses lit on fire.

Terah: What the hell? What’s wrong?

Foofy: Let’s just go. I’m not getting the truck, let’s go.

Terah: Not until you tell me what’s wrong.

Foofy: I had everything signed and ready and the guy came in and said he wasn’t selling me the truck, because I don’t make enough.

Terah: We make the same! I can afford this truck, why is he saying you can’t?

Foofy: Because I don’t make $2,000 a month.

I make fun of my friends for being ‘poor’ all the time, but when I do it, it’s in jest. We don’t mind people saying it, as long as they’re just messing with us. When you pull this shit and are SERIOUS about it, I get pissed off.

Terah: He can’t do that! You are a paying customer, and this is a USED CAR LOT. Come on, who was it, we’re going back inside!

I grabbed her arm and tried pulling her back in. She kept saying she wanted to go, and I didn’t want to let these people get away with that. Her original salesman walked out and asked what was wrong. She explained it to him, and he went white as a sheet.

Terah: Hey, I want your manager’s name! No one fucks my friend over like this! Who was the asshole, Foofy?

Turns out the asshole that made her cry WAS the manager. I saw red when I heard that and I channeled my inner-custy.

I wanted to ream him out, I wanted him pissed off, hell, I was ready to make him want to take a swing at me. Just because she doesn’t make $2,000 a month is no reason to deny her a sale of a cheap-ass truck that she is able to pay for.

This was NOT a case of ‘Well, it’s not in your best interests, but here’s a list of places that you can go to that will have more affordable payments’, this was a case of ‘You are too poor for me to care about, it’s not my fault you don’t make more money: come back when you’re rich.’

Terah: I WANT CORPORATE’S NUMBER! I want their number, I want his name, I WANT HIS HEAD ON A GODDAMN PLATE, AND I WANT HIS JOB! No one makes my friends cry!

Foofy called corporate and complained about the manager, and it turns out she wasn’t the only one he’d do that to. He wanted people paying at least $1000 a month on the cars and would turn away anyone who couldn’t do that. Last I heard, he was investigated and fired, and the nice associate who helped her was promoted.

We went to a different lot the next day and got a better car at a better deal, anyway.

Was I overreacting that day?

-- Terah, The Gas Slave

Scamming N.A.T. Tries To Put One Over On Terah

I had a dude come up to my register today and he bought some crap and paid with a $20. I was in a rush with other customers and hurriedly gave him his change. Before I can even close the till, he speaks up.

Dude: Hey! I gave you a $100! Where’s the rest of my change?

Terah: You gave me $20.

Dude: You little liar! I gave you a $100 dollar bill and you’re trying to cheat me! Where’s your manager?

Terah: Buddy, the $100 on the top of my stack is marked with a counterfeit pen, which I didn’t use during our transaction, and it’s stamped with a pink Piglet stamp. Unless you gave me a bill with a pretty, pink stamp on it, you’re a scam artist and I won’t hesitate to get security down here; they’re bored right now. Who’s next?

The dude sulked off after that.

Moral of the story is don't assume that because I'm in a rush I don't notice what you give me. I almost always notice.

--Terah

Terah Meets A Custy Who Thinks 20 + 15 = Cantaloupe

So this guy walks in while it’s me and PJ in the smoke shop, and he looks at me and points over to our tubs of dip. All he says is ‘Longhorn Longcut.’

Terah: Wintergreen or Straight?

This is a legit question, seeing as the large tubs of Longhorn only have Wintergreen or Straight in the long cut variety.

Dude: Longhorn Longcut.

Terah: …Wintergreen or Straight?

Dude: [Agitated] Longhorn! Longcut!

Terah: You want Wintergreen or Straight?

Dude: WINTERGREEN!

I grab what he wants, and he asks for 5 packs of cigarettes with it. I plop them on the counter, verify it’s what he wants and go to ring him up.

Terah: Okay, that’s gonna be $35.48.

He gives me $20.

Terah: …okay, just need another 15! [Smile]

Dude: That’s not right.

Terah: Well, I’ve got a 20 here, just need another 15 more.

Dude: No! The cigarettes are 20 and the dip is, like, 15!

Terah: …yes sir. 15 more please.

Seriously, does 20 plus 15 equal CANTALOUPE to this dude?! CLEARLY it does and I am the idiot here for thinking it equals 35!

He hands me a 5. I tell him I need 10 more. He hands me a 10, and I ask if he has the 48 cents in change. He takes it all back and gives me $100.

Dude: I thought you said it was 3500.

Terah: …no, sir.

I gave him his change back and made him watch as I counted it, bagged his stuff and stuck 2 receipts in there, just in case.

Once the door shut and he was gone, I turned to PJ with a ‘WTF’ look on my face.

Terah: Since when does 20 and 15 equal cantaloupe?! Please tell me he was drunk and not actually that stupid!

--Terah The Gas Slave

Terah Suffers Hell Due To A Coworker Forging A Cosign

From: Terah The Gas Slave

In the next few days, I have some stories about a former coworker whom I hate with all of my being. However, to understand why I hate her this badly and act the way I do around her, you need to know what caused this.

Short version: She fucked me over and nearly got me tied down to a P.O.S car.

Long version:

I am notorious about giving coworkers rides if they need to go somewhere and I’m heading that way. This is what happened. She was getting a car and asked me if I could drop her off at the dealer. I agreed and dropped her off and went about my merry little business.

A couple months later, someone on third shift came in and said, "Hey, I thought you said [Satan’s Spawn] got a car? Because she’s test driving down at [Local Dealer that we have a house account for]."

I didn’t really care. Maybe she decided to take that one back and get a better one. Not my problem.

Well, it became my problem when, two days later, I get a call from an unknown number. I answer the phone, and the person on the other end says "Is this Terah the Gas Slave?"

Terah: Uh, yeah, can I help you?

Person: We’re calling to report that [Satan’s Spawn] has not paid for her vehicle in the past three months. We need you to either contact her or send in the payment yourself.

Terah: …why would I pay for the car m’self?

Person: Well, you’re the cosigner.

WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCKING FUCK, DUDE?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

By now, that evil monster had long-since quit the store and went elsewhere and I didn’t know where she was, and the phone number I had for her wasn’t correct anymore. So I called up the dealer she was last seen at, and I put on my absolute BEST customer service voice.

Terah: Hi, this is Terah from [Store], and I’m calling because we need to locate a miss [Satan’s Spawn]. It’s very important, and I was just wondering if she was there today.

They said she was a customer there and they couldn’t say anything. I broke down almost crying and explained the situation to them, about how somehow this other dealer is convinced I’ve co-signed for her when I didn’t and I needed to find her and find out what was happening.

With as much trouble as I get in to at work, I’m still pretty well known by everyone who comes in. Enough that they know my voice and recognize me outside of work. The lady seemed to be one of these people and put me on hold. A couple minutes later she comes back on.

She tells me that, off the record, she suggests that I go and have lunch at this crappy little pizza place, because the service is ‘awesome’. I hung up and had to go to work, so I had my mom go check it out. Sure enough, the bitch herself was there, working. Mom later said that when she realized just WHO mom was, she went pale as a sheet. Mom was cool enough to not scream at her, but anyone who knows mom is aware that she doesn’t NEED to threaten you. You don’t piss my mother off, you KNOW she’ll come after you.

We find out that she’s dumped this little piece of shit car at a movie theater and I call the towing company who does business with the store because, again, the owner knows me and he thinks I’m funny. I ask him to tow it to the lot and he agrees to get it there for free. Guess who’s been getting free drinks at my store on my watch since then? (I pay for them, but still…)

The owner of the company said that as cosigner, I was now liable for not only the remaining payments, BUT to replace the tires which had been slashed, the windshield which had been busted, but the radio which had been stolen. But, see, this is where the whole ordeal turns in my favor.

Mom has rent houses, and one of our renters USED TO WORK FOR THIS SPECIFIC COMPANY. I was talking to him about car places and he was explaining a state law to me that they try to weasel out of all the time. State law says that if you sell a car to someone and they return it in piss-poor condition you take the money out of what they have already paid you for the vehicle. If you have still made more than blue book value on the vehicle, they are no longer responsible for payments.

This car blue booked at $150. Full tank of gas, it might have blue booked at $160. I brought this to their attention and they pulled out the file that had me listed as a cosigner and tried to use that. I freaked out and channeled my inner-custy.

Terah: THAT IS NOT MY FUCKING SIGNATURE! THAT IS NOT MY SIGNATURE! YOU FUCKING LET HER FORGE?! REALLY?!

I grabbed a sheet of paper and signed my name to it.

Terah: THAT IS MY SIGNATURE! THEY LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW I HOPE YOU FALL IN A DITCH!!

I shredded the paper I signed and took the pieces with me, don’t worry. I wasn’t stupid. The man got angry at me and yelled that if I ‘didn’t man up and take responsibility’ for my actions, he would take me to court. Did I really want that?

Terah: That is an AWESOME idea pal! No, really!! [Honestly giddy and genuine smile] Because, see, I’m PRETTY FUCKING SURE that forgery is a FELONY OFFENSE and that you would be accessory to it, but I’m REALLY eager to see what a judge has to say about it! What should I name this place when I own it?

I left after that and to this day haven’t heard a word from them.

--Terah The Gas Slave

Terah Has A Question On Behalf Of A Coworker

What to do? What to do?

Back on December 27th, only four days away from her 21st birthday, Foofy Sparklepants got into a terrible wreck on her way to work. This asshole was driving drunk and failed to yield. Foofy hit him (though the wreck was his fault) and got screwed up. Even now, in March, she’s still going to the doctor over it and is in pretty bad shape.

Last night, I learned that she now has 10 points on our 10-points-and-you’re-fired system.

This is related, because on the days she wasn’t at work due to being IN THE HOSPITAL for the wreck, they gave her 6 points.

The rules CLEARLY state that if you call in on your shift, that’s a point. Technically, while she didn’t ‘call in’, she COULDN’T. The store found out about the wreck when Security let them know, and it was confirmed when Rooster showed up an hour late, because he had seen it and upon realizing it was Foofy, he stopped his car and went to help her. So, this is counted in the system as a call in. They WERE alerted.

The rules GO ON to say that it’s a point for every day you’re out, BUT IF YOU HAVE A VALID DOCTOR’S NOTE then you only get A HALF A POINT for the FIRST DAY and every other point you got for being out get erased.

Stumpy, her roommate, came in the next day with a doctor’s note saying Foofy was in no condition to work and he was keeping her off for the rest of the week and was advising she not go back until sometime in February. She ignored that and as soon as the pain stopped shooting everywhere when she so much as breathed, she was back at work on very light duty.

They never erased those points like they were supposed to, and now she’s dangerously close to being fired, because it takes SIX MONTHS of PERFECT BEHAVIOR to get a single point taken off your record.

So what do we do? I’ve told her that if they try to fire her on the basis of the points alone, to challenge it. She HAS a lawyer right now since they’re still working on the wreck case and the firing would result from the wreck, since most of the points are from the days she was hospitalized. I’ve let her know that if they let her go for any reason to demand to know WHY she’s being fired, but to not mention anything about the points until the if and the when, so they can’t claim it ISN’T the points when it will clearly BE the points.

I’ve also said there is the possibility of taking them to court for wrongful termination under the very rules they put in place and are ignoring. I don’t want her freaking out over this. I know my manager is NOT the one behind this at all, and that it’s coming from higher up. My manager is a wonderful woman and the kind of manager we all wish we had. She would NOT let Foofy get fired for this, but if it comes from higher up, there’s nothing she can do.

What do we do, RHU? Any more advice, any tips or help?

--Terah The Gas Slave

Terah Encounters A Second Crusty In Less Than Twenty Four Hours

From: Terah The Gas Slave

This actually started out after the event with the bitch and her ID, but when I submitted the story, I thought it was over.

Never have I been so wrong.

A few hours after the incident with the bitch, I’m just getting calmed back down. My new coworker has already left for the day due to hour cuts, so it’s just me and Leeroy. This man comes in with a ‘SWIFT’ brand cigarette roller. You put the tobacco in it, put a blank tube in the nozzle, work the lever and BAM! You’ve rolled your own cigarette!

The problem with this brand is that the lever is plastic and EASY to break. Especially since most customers decide they have to use it as hard as possible.

Sure enough, he’s done just that it seems, and he wants to return OR exchange it for a working one. Knowing how frustrating this is, since my mom has tried rolling her own, I ask him if he still has his receipt.

It was from February 24th. Our return-slash-exchange policy, WHICH IS CLEARLY LISTED and all workers are trained to recite on items that are frequently returned, is that you have FIVE days to return them in. I explain it to him, and he just gets this pathetic ‘Kicked Puppy’ look and asks if there’s anything I can do. I go back to my shift leader and explain the situation.

She tells me that she’s not comfortable breaking policy even though on an event like this, easily broken merchandise breaks fairly quickly, we’re allowed to. Ask him to come back tomorrow and talk to the manager.

So I go back out, and say “Terribly sorry, sir. Because it’s out of the range of dates for a return, we can’t process it without getting in trouble. However, if you come back during [First Shift Hours] and ask for [Manager], I’m sure she’ll be able to do something for you.”

Customer: But I have to roll cigarettes TONIGHT!

Terah: I’m so sorry, I know this machine is flimsy and breaks easily. I honestly try to talk customers out of buying this one and get one of these.

I showed him a smaller, hand model. It works exactly the same, but instead of a nifty lever, you slide it by hand.

Customer: Are these any good?

Terah: I’ve been getting people to buy these for going on seven years, and I have never had a single person come back and say they didn’t like it or that it broke. I mean, if they stop using it, it’s usually because they quit smoking, or they just got tired of rolling their own.

He wants to buy it, and I ring it up. It’s not even $9, but he only has a five on him. He curses and storms out with his broken machine and the receipt.

I got home, submitted my post about the cigarette bitch and went about my business.

The next day, I get in earlier and was talking to PinkGirl, when WildWoman (An awesome coworker, I love her to death) calls her up. I began telling Tex about the cigarette bitch, when PinkGirl comes back a couple of minutes later.

PinkGirl: Who worked in the cigarette store last night?

Terah: Me… NewGuy… and…Leeroy?

PinkGirl: I’ve got a guy up here with a busted up cigarette machine-

Terah: Oh, yeah, I’m the one who spoke with him last night.

PinkGirl: Okay, he’s saying you were a rude and unhelpful bitch, and that you said you refused to refund his cigarette machine and to talk to the manager. But I saw his receipt, and it was for February 24th and told him we couldn’t do anything about it. Terah, I know you’re not stupid enough to be a ‘rude bitch’ and then tell someone to come speak to [Manager]. I’ve worked with you long enough. I told him to leave.

It ended well, but two crazy assholes in one day? I blame the weather.

--Terah The Gas Slave

Cigarette Bitch Throws Tantrum Over ID, Has It With Her The Whole Time

From Terah

This woman walks in and goes up to me, asking if we had the brand called ‘Time’.

I said yes we do, what kind would she like?

She says ‘Short One Hundreds’.

Now, for those of you who don’t know anything about cigarettes, they come in 2 primary sizes. Short, which is also called ‘King Size’ and Longs, which are also called ‘100s’. This lady literally asked for Short cigarettes that are ALSO long at the same time.

I ask her if she meant short or long.

She says ‘Yes’.

Terah: …no, ma’am, do you want the short cigarettes, or the long cigarettes?

Woman: Oh! Short pack, please.

So I get her short pack and we go through a price list so she can pick something else out. She settles on 5 packs of Wave brand. After verifying that I got what she wanted, I ring her up, and she fills out a check. She then hands me her husband’s driver’s license.

Terah: Ma’am, this isn’t your license.

Woman: Yes, it’s my husbands, he’s on the account.

Terah: I’m sorry, but I need your license, as you’re the one who wrote the check and signed it.

Woman: Well here, use this!

She shows me a printed card that is clearly not government issued, and we can ONLY ACCEPT GOVERNMENT ISSUED AS VALID IDENTIFICATION.

Terah: Ma’am, I’m sorry, I need your driver’s license or some other form of current government issued identification.

By this point I’m getting so frustrated that I go back to my ‘real’ accent since I can’t keep up the southern one. (Long story on that)

Woman: Well, damn, let me re-write it and sign his name to it.

Terah: …let me go get my supervisor.

I walked off and got Shift Leader 2, who went up to deal with her. I stand in the back because I’m worried I’ll say or do something that’ll get me in trouble. As I stand there, I hear her mention that the price I gave her earlier didn’t seem right.

This bitch then throws a fit that I didn’t get her what she wanted!

She wanted FIVE packs of Time and FIVE packs of Wave!

Shift Leader 2 tried to calm her down, but she wouldn’t have it. I walked off for a minute to get a drink and try and calm myself down. When I get back up there and round the corner, the woman points at me and screams, "I don’t want to sound hateful, but that little stuck up northern bitch needs to learn to LISTEN!"

I just shouted back to her as she left, "Lady, not only was I born and raised here in the south, I can count and recite numbers in four languages. You need to learn to TALK."

Shift Leader 2 shook her head and I saw her put a check receipt in with my things. I asked her why did she take the check, and she said ‘Well, the lady had her driver’s license with her.’

And people wonder why I hate customers.

--Terah

Tera's Shocking Tale of Nursing Neglect at Metal Care Facility

This story happened a few months back and it happened to Foofy’s roommate, who I’ll call ‘Mooch’.

Warning: 'Dust' may fly into your eye. It did to me.

Mooch works at a Mental Care Facility in town that watches people of all ages. She was the primary caretaker of a 6 year old girl with Pica who I’ll call ‘NomNom’. For those who don’t know, Pica is an eating disorder where you ingest non-food items. All children have it, but you usually grow out of it. It becomes a disorder when you don’t. I have Pica myself.

NomNom was in this facility for 2 or 3 years. Her mother couldn’t care for her at the time because her case was so severe and with her father overseas in Afghanistan it wasn’t safe for her to be at home, so she was placed to be treated while her mother took classes. They were slated to get her back about 6 months after this happened.

One day, Mooch had a coworker call in sick and was moved to a different area and a different nurse, I don’t have a short name for this useless, lazy whore-bitch, was put in charge of NomNom and disaster struck.

The bitch gets NomNom ready for bed and tucks her in and decides to throw away her pacifier. NomNom has one because if she’s chewing on it, she doesn’t have the urge to eat anything else. It’s there for safety more than anything. The bitch decides she doesn’t need one and throws it away. Then, upon realizing she was a WHOLE MINUTE LATE FOR HER BREAK OH NOES rushes out. She gets halfway to the break room and realizes she left a bottle of cleaner in NomNom’s room. But that can wait until she has her precious cigarette, right?

Another nurse happened to walk by NomNom’s room and peeked in to check on her and found her laying on the floor, having OPENED THE BOTTLE, DRANK THE CONTENTS, AND HAD BEEN IN THE PROCESS OF EATING THE PLASTIC!! They did what they could, but NomNom was comatose and later declared brain-dead. They had to take her off life-support after a couple of weeks.

NomNom’s father was flown back in and went to the facility where his wife was waiting, and they called Mooch in. Mooch was poised to be arrested for gross neglect causing the death of this child when she pointed out she hadn’t even been in the section. She’d been filling in for another nurse and they’d called the bitch in to watch NomNom.

They pull the bitch into the room and she wasn’t even sorry. They asked her about the pacifier, and she told them straight up she threw it away. “I mean, she’s, like, six! She doesn’t need a pacifier! She’s not a BABY! So I threw it away for her.”

They asked her about the cleaner left in the child’s room. “Well, I forgot I put it there, and I was late for my smoke break. I figured it could wait to be put up for fifteen minutes.”

I think the only reason the father didn’t pound her face in right then was because the bitch was a woman.

The story didn’t make the news as they wanted to keep it private. Other than this one incident, the facility is a pretty good place, no one else was ever injured like this. The bitch was locked up for a very long time.

The only good, cute ray of light in this horrible dredge I could get was the teddy bear. NomNom’s father gave her a teddy bear before being deployed and it was the only thing, the ONLY THING, NomNom never tried to eat or chew on. Mooch said she never even drooled on it. And while she was comatose, that bear never left her arms, she had a death grip on it up until she finally passed.

…well, I had to end this with something sweet.

--Tera

 

Angry Custy At The Gas Station

So today in the gas station while Tex is on break, a woman comes in, just fuming and furious.

But Tex, who is usually an asshole, is on a Tweaker Energy drink, so he’s in a pretty good mood. He smiles at this lady and says ‘C’mon! No sad faces in here, let’s see a smile!

This woman just glares at him and says “I hate everything to do with [Tribe] and gambling.”

So… why the fuck is this woman in a gas station OWNED by said tribe, which sits next to a giant-ass Casino?

Tex is determined to get a smile out of this woman, though, and says “Well, I’m a member of [Tribe to the north], I ain’t [Tribe]!”

She glares harder, if possible, and yells “I just hate all you fucking Indians!”

Yet Tex just keeps smiling and motions to the east.

“Well get back in your canoe and paddle your ass back to England, lady, we were here first.”

--Terah

Random Act of Winter Storm Kindness The Day After Christmas

From Terah:

Little bit of Christmas goodwill for you all.

It snowed yesterday, and down here that means ICE on the roads. I grew up taught to be terrified of ice on the roads so I don’t drive on ice. Problem is, I was at work by the time the roads iced over. Mom decided to pick me up and take me home and we’d get my car today.

One of the cart drivers had come in while I was at work and asked if I’d like a ride out to my car, because they’d seen I was parked a good ways off. I explained my problem and that I’d be by to get it tomorrow. I even joked that they should keep an eye out on my car and went about my business.

Earlier today, mom drove me back to the Casino to pick my car up and we fully expected to have to scrape off snow and ice. I got out here and my car was drivable. There was no snow OR ice on the windows. As I was getting the car warmed up, one of the cart drivers drove by and said ‘Have a late Merry Christmas!’ and took off.

They actually scraped the snow and ice off my car for me! Nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time.

--Terah

 

Drive Thru Window Hell Nightmare

I sat up when I heard the bell ring, indicating someone was at the window and knew this would be a good one.

The dolphins were perturbed.

The customer greeted me and at once asked for some kind of cigarette I’d never even heard of. Said he got ‘em all the time on Mars.

Terah: We don’t… carry brands from Mars, sir. You gotta go… go there for ‘em. …and why are you here? I’m home… I want to sleep.

Customer: But don’t you work for the cigarette store? I just want my smokes!

I rubbed my eyes and checked the clock. It was really light out for cinnamon o’clock, but since it was raining carrots, I decided it was normal.

Terah: Nooo… I’m home. I can’t sell you cigarettes right now. You have to go to the store.

Customer: You are so rude!

Terah: I was sleeping… and then you drove up and started asking for cigarettes… just leave…

Then I opened my bedroom window all the way and leaned out to see where he was.

Terah: …how did you fit your car into my backyard, anyway?

It was then that I woke up from that terrible dream and promptly requested a MUCH NEEDED and OVERDUE vacation.

You know you’ve worked too long without a break when it invades your sleepy-time.

--Terah