Coming soon!
Help is on the way Retail Slaves! After suffering centuries of retail misery, comes the ultimate resource for the millions of people everywhere who slave away behind the counter of a store: The Retail Hell Survival Guide.
A humorous, easy-to-read, informative book on one of the most chaotic, exhausting, demanding jobs on the planet, The Retail Hell Survival Guide exposes the day to day trauma of retail life while delivering practical, cynical, and sometimes brutally satirical advice on how to get through it without scars. No Retail Slave should be without it! The secrets divulged throughout its pages are groundbreaking! Earth shattering! Long over-due! God save the Retail Slaves! God, please give us a raise!
The Original Retail Slut himself, Freeman Hall, exposes the three tribes of retail: The Retail Sluts, The Retail Whores, and The Retail Droids. Readers will take easy tests to determine which tribe they belong to: The Retail Sluts—people who hate retail and want out to do something else, The Retail Whores—people who love retail and want to do nothing else, and The Retail Droids—people who have been turned into robots and do whatever they’re told.
Once they’ve determined their standing, Students of The Retail Hell Survival Guide will embark on a Ten Floor journey, facing one fiery retail subject after another: Retail Hell—an overview of coping with the soul-sucking demands of a life in retail. The Store—advice on how to cope with confusing policies, monotonous training classes, and nerve-rattling pep rallies. Co-Workers and Managers—how to deal with people you don’t necessarily like but have to stand inches away from. Customers—how to deal with customers you don’t necessarily like but have to stand inches away from. Customer Service—training on how far you should go to help your customer without throwing yourself under their Mercedes. Selling—revelations on squeezing everything you can from a Customer’s wallet and bringing out your inner Shark. Returns—known as the dirty word of retail, learn how to avoid them, counteract them, and spot a Nasty Ass Thief two departments over. Sales—they can kill you if you let them, learn how to survive 12 hour days without turning into a Retail Sale Zombie. Holidays—they can also kill you if you let them, learn how to survive the most exhausting time of the year without turning into a Retail Holiday Zombie. And finally, on the very last floor, The Tenth Floor, we have Retail Heaven—The Retail Slut has a plan for your ultimate choice, whether it be a Retail Hell Lifer willing to stay there forever or a Retail Hell Escapee hungry to find a way out.
The Retail Hell Survival Guide is perfect for sleepless nights, commuting, airplanes, lunch breaks, slow periods at the counter, and toilet-sitting reading. For Retail Slaves everywhere, it will relieve stress, inform, amuse, and hopefully offer inspiration to people in stores all across America. The lives of Retail Slaves will be forgotten no more.
Look for it soon!
