Jason's Bipolar Letter To Santa
Retail Hell Underground X-mas Party

A Distant Relative To Rudolph


Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer

Rudolpha The Big-assed Nasty-Ass-Thief

You know Sleazy and Sketchy

And Scuzzy and Scummy

Douchebag and Putrid

And Freaky and Skanky

But do you recall

The most famous Nasty-Ass-Thief of them all

Rudolpha the big-assed Nasty-Ass-Thief

Had a really BIG FAT ASS

And if you were ever near it

You would choke from all its gas

All of the other Nasties

Used to bitch and call her names

They never let fat ass Rudolpha

Help with any criminal games

Then one busy Christmas Eve

Ringleader Nasty came to say

Rudolpha with your ass so fuckin stout

Won’t you block the security camera out

Then all of the Nasties loved her

Because they got a stealing spree

Rudolpha the big-assed Nasty-Ass-Thief

You are queen of all Retail Thievery!

Merry Shoplifting you fuckin Nasty Ass Thieves!!!


Ugly Duckling


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