Okay Sluts and Whores! It's the start of the New Year and you are a Retail Slave. As the crowd chaos simmers down in The Store, now there's time for a bit of Self Retail Reflection. Ugh. Yes this is painful, but read on. One of four things is going on in your Retail Hell life right now:

1) You're a Retail Slut, you hate your retail job and want to make that transition into the career you've dreamed about(like us).

2) You're a Retail Slut, you don't really hate your retail job, but your heart says you should be doing something else, you're just not sure what.

3). You're a Retail Whore, you hate your current retail position for whatever reasons, but you love the world of retail and all its hustle and bustle. You want more out of retail.

4.) You're a Retail Whore, you love your retail job, and feel content with it, except maybe you're not making enough or you're having trouble being the best at it.

Most of us Retail Slaves can find ourselves emotionally attached to one of these situations. Love or hate Retail, we all have some sort of aspiration surrounding it, whether it be to get the fuck out or make more fuckin money!

In this New Year, RHU wants you to get the most out of your Retail Life. In the upcoming book, The Retail Hell Survival Guide, there will be a crapload of tools and info to help you deal with these situations, but for now we are offering a simple New Years Resolution approach.

Pick the number below that matched the Retail Anxiety number you related to above.

1) For Retail Sluts Who Have a Dream Career: Take a cool piece of paper (a fun color or texture) and write on it with a marker: I am______.  Fill in the blank. You could write, I am a fucking idiot for working retail, but today we are focusing on who you WANT to be, not who you are right now. So go for the dream goal as if you have accomplished it. I am a Singer. I am a Writer. I am a Doctor. I am an Actress. I am a Real Estate Agent. I am a Garbage Truck Driver. Whatever floats your boat. The piece of paper doesn't have to be huge, but it needs to catch your attention like one of myspace's crazy ads (the scary-evil baby with laser eyes always gets us). Then hang this statement by your computer or somewhere you can see it often. Next: Do ONE thing this Month that will move you into the direction of Who You Want To Be. If you can do more than one thing, great, but don't stress over it. Doing at least one major thing and taking one step toward your dream is an awesome way to start the year.

2) For Retail Sluts Who Have No Dream Career: Do the same as above with the cool paper and marker, only write out the sentence: What would I love to do? Since you don't know what career you'd like to have, but you know retail isn't it, this will be a reminder to keep the question circulating in your brain. Too often it's easy to get lost in the Retail Vortex and you don't even think about thinking about other options. Put your What You'd Love To Do question somewhere you can see it and contemplate the answer all month. Next: Make a list of careers that you admire and then investigate them. Check them out online or talk to friends. Be creative with your thinking. The hope is that by the end of the month you'll find something you'd rather do other than retail.  Then it's time to take that step and move toward it.

3) For Retail Whores Who Have Higher Retail Dreams: Follow the same instructions with the paper and marker, and write on it: I am_______. Fill in the blank with your Retail Dream goal as if you have accomplished it. Here are some examples: I am now working at Neiman Marcus making 100 grand a year. I am now the Store Manager. I am working at a store I love.  I am the owner of my own potato chip store. Whatever rocks your world. Then hang your retail statement somewhere you will see it daily, and just like the Retail Sluts, your next step will be to do ONE major thing that advances you in the direction of that goal. This could be deciding what store you want to work at and finding out how to get hired, or if you want to move up in your own store letting your store manager know. Again, this doesn't have to be a huge step, the idea is do ONE thing this month that will get you moving in the right direction.

4) For Retail Whores Who Love Their Position But Are Struggling: Find that piece of paper and write on it I am____. Fill in the blank with a positive solution to whatever problem you are having at your store. I am the number one salesperson. I am making more money. I am getting along with my stupid-ass manager. Whatever. Write it as if it's been taken care of. Regarding money issues: Listen to us! Loving and being content with your retail job is not a horrible thing, but you shouldn't have to live in a shithole apartment or eat PBJ sandwiches for a week either. Perhaps your goal should be to find away to make more money at your retail job or outside of it. Next: Do ONE thing that you have been avoiding that can make your retail job better or financially more fulfilling. This could mean taking a class or securing more hours. It could also mean robbing a bank because your retail job is not going to give you more money! But the thing here is to remember that you are not bound by the Store, you are bound by your thinking. If you think beyond the Store's constraints, your mind will open to possibilities you didn't see before.

If you're a Retail Slave that is lucky enough to not find yourself in any of these Retail Hell situations and in need of no advice concerning your Retail job, then we say GOODY FUCKING GOODY for you! Seriously, that's awesome. Enjoy yourself. Keep it up! Now you can focus your resolutions on all the other shit that dragged you down last year. Make 08 your best year yet Retail Slaves!