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Regan's Retail Exorcisms: Regan Snaps


Hey Retail Slaves! It's time to meet our newest Underground Blogger, Regan, a Retail Whore that tells it like it is. You also don't want to piss her off. Pictures to follow soon. In Regan's first post at RHU she tells how a customer made her snap:

It was a disgustingly busy Saturday at the Outlet Mall......again.

My manager was cashing out a lovely woman (sense sarcasm yet?!) and her mother. She had just completed her sale. Apparently this bitch was giving my manager a hard time and so she made me take over! The store manager couldn't even deal with her?! I knew it had to be bad...

"Oh great", I thought. "Just keep your mouth shut and we won't have problems, Regan.." Easier said that done, right?

As soon as I stepped up to the register I swear the woman's eyes lit up. She looked fucking evil... I thought I saw a pitchfork...but I tried to ignore it.

She said to me... "These pants are marked 30% off, but your signs say the entire store is at least 40% off."

Lovely...someone was doing price changes and forgot to change those fucking hang tags on the pants. Fucking great.

I was going to change the price of them to make her happy and everything would be fucking peachy....or so I thought.

She then proceeded to bitch and moan about our signage around the store. Saying it was "deceiving" and what not. Simply put..she was being a cunt. Making a huge scene at the registers...

This entire time she is ranting I am so polite and quiet. It was disgusting how nice I was being! I just wanted to get her out of the store before I gouged her fucking eyes out and shoved them up her tight ass.

I said, "Listen...we aren't in control of the signs! We don't go out back and print them off! Corporate is totally responsible for it and I think you should contact THEM about it. Not me. We just do what they say!" Which is entirely true. We, the employees, are like Corporate's dirty bitch. I hate being someone's bitch! Well, unless it's in the bedroom. But anyways. Even after I told her that, she continued bitching me out. She just kept egging me on. She was slowly pushing my buttons and she was just about to hit the wrong one...

So then she says, "I want a refund. I don't want any of this." Yup, she definitely ruined her chances of getting what she wanted.

Well...I guess by that time I had just basically had enough of people's shit. I mean, it was a horrendously busy day and there were people up my ass all damn day. I snapped. Like a fucking twig.

I snatched up her credit card from the counter and threw it at her (Chinese star style) and said, "Fuck you" and stormed off.

Needless to say, it was glorious to say that to someone finally! The woman was so pissed. She was going to "have our jobs". Shit! She would've done me a fucking favor to get my happy ass fired!

In the end...I kept my job. We all did. Dammit..

Now if you can say that to a customer and still keep your deserve a fucking medal.

I want to hear about your own personal triumphs! Even if it ended in getting fired! Tell me about the time you told a customer to fuck off, suck it, or called them a bitch, cunt, fuckass whatever! E-mail me!

Your mother sucks cocks in hell,



LA Retail Slut

I'd like to tell them all Fuck You!!
Thanks for standing up to the bitch!


Found you via humor-blogs and as someone who worked retail many years ago to put myself thru college, I love this blog! Now my poor son works retail and he rants about the same shit. Assholes apparently never change.


Amen sister :)

Yikes, what a Biotch! I once had a crazy bitch return everything, right after I rang it all up and she had been in line for 20 min. (it was the holidays)

When I told her didn't have any boxes, she threw the clothes back at me and said I ruied her x-mas. "How could her children open the clothing if it wasn't in the gap box?" People are FREAKS! I think they should give liscense to shop. If you dont' pass the tests you can't come into the store.


The above coment about the Gap boxes was from me, sorry I forgot to post my name.

Miserable Retail Slave

Way to go Regan! Can you come to my store?


I really enjoyed your column, Regan! I hope that other people will share similiar stories here as well since I really get a kick out of hearing about retail slaves fighting back. I often get away with being rude to customers (I am not just rude for the hell of it, and will usually only be rude to those that are rude to me first), but haven't had the cajones (yet) to tell someone to fuck off, as much as I'd love to do that. Maybe when I give my two weeks notice, which will hopefully be sooner than later.


Hey guys, thanks for your great comments!

Roxie, when you give your 2 weeks, you tell everyone you can to suck your left tit. I swear to God. You will feel SO much better. LOL


Oh, when I was in highschool I worked at Hobby Lobby [it's like Micheals for those of you who don't know what Hobby Lobby is] and during the Christmas season, I fucking HATE working there! They sell individual glass ornaments, and people would come up with like 40 of the fucking things and want them all INDIVIDUALLY wrapped....ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!? I wanted to punch them in the face when someone asked me to do that.

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