Fitting Room Door Sign
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Lauren's Message To Customers and Their Unruly Kids

1995_village_of_the_damnedRetail Slave Lauren in Wyoming has a few choice words for parents who aren't watching their kids:

One more time for the assholes who didn't get it the first million times I've said it:


No, I won't just watch your baby for a second while you try that shirt on.

No, I don't want to tell your children to stop running in the store, so that they don't fall and gouge their eye out on a peg. (oh, wait, yes I do want to tell them's really funny to see the horrified look on the kids' faces)

No, I don't want to have to tell your children to stop undressing the mannequin; tugging on necklaces; sweeping out baskets of t-shirts onto the floor; climbing under the fixtures; crawling under the fitting room door; or taking toys out of the package.

That is what YOU the PARENT should be doing. Oh, I'm sorry, you're too stoned to worry about it...then you shouldn't have reproduced...but then you were probably high when you conceived.

And to the assholes who were in my store yesterday when I had a sinus headache from hell....fuck you....fuck you and your demon baby. The vile creature kept shrieking at 30 second intervals with a high pitched wail that would put a banshee to shame....and his parents, OF COURSE, were so high that they weren't doing a damn thing about it.

Parents....please, PLEASE parent your children.

Thanks for sending this Lauren. We suggest getting some Baby Scream Earplugs and we also made you a Fitting Room Door Sign below.



Amen Lauren! You deserve a trip to Hawaii!

JaSoN.....ReTAiL HeeeeeeLLLL!!!!!

Freddy.... This is a great "BiRtH CoNtRoL" us SMART single Retail people!

....Let the 'Defunct' parents deal with their little M-O-n-S-T-e-R-s!!!!!!!!

Jason SMILING)....HeEEeeeeeeeeeEE!!!!

Your Pal Pete

I used to hate kids until I worked at a toy store, then I hated parents. Kids, at least, have the built-in excuse of being kids.


OMG you should try being a retail person in a CHILDREN'S RESALE store. I mean, it's even less respected than a regular store. Parents figure that since it's been used before that it's fine to let their kids go ahead and tear open the shrink wrapping around sets of toys that have been painstakingly put together to include most, if not all, the pieces that go with that set. Not only that...but it's done AFTER HOURS. ugh
Resale shops are no different then shopping where everything is brand new other than the prices.

I hate retail shopping parents...even though I am one. I learned to respect stores, products and the people who work in/with them from that job. My kid sits in the cart with the seat and may NOT get off the cart without my permission. And no, he CANNOT eat the grapes while we shop.

the bagel of everything

I hate children.

We have the technology to reproduce species in labs, growing their unconscious bodies until they've reached adulthood, educating them subliminally.

We should do that.


I am so very very glad I'm not the only one out there who hates kids.

I can't believe parents can be so inept these days.... it's maddening.

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