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May 2008
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July 2008

Shopping Cart Retail Hell Mystery


This photo was sent to us by our Costco Retail Slave informant who we will be calling CSI - Costco Secret Informant. CSI will be posting all kind of Retail Hell found at your nearest Costco.

Here CSI noticed a shopping cart was mysteriously lifted onto a flatbed cart. WTF? Who would do this and why? Those things weigh a ton.

We have two theories: Pissed off WWE wrestler or Aliens.

RHU has a call into Scully and Mulder. This is a total X-File. The truth is out there and we want to know it, so the poor Costco Slave that had to remove this cart can go hunt down the culprit and kick their ass.

Come back and visit us tomorrow for a full report from CSI about Shopping Cart Retail Hell. Until then, keep an eye on those carts everybody.

Retail Slave Escapes From Wal-Mart

BallsawardaaaWe've been giving out Retail Balls Awards to Slaves who have told customers, but it also takes balls to up and quit your Retail Hell job. Former Wal-Mart Retail Slave Michelle in New Jersey sent us this message:

"UMM [[clears throat]] May I announce that I finally got the balls to QUIT! Haha! And the muthafuckers are crying for me back!!! Psssh! Nevaaaaa! You can keep all the BS and customer attitudes...well....Thanks for pure HELL (of course) that added up to 2 years 4 months and 15 days....urgh."

Urgh indeed! It does take balls to quit when you've had enough. Congrats Michelle! We wish you greener pastures and a Retail Hell-Free future. Godzilla is happy for you too:


Women Who Need Buying Permission From Men Make Me Want to Beat Some Sense Into Them with My Dior Pumps

Hey there bitches, we are still working on getting through the shitty sale time but something had to be said about all the women customers out there who need approval from men when they buying clothes.

It really pisses me off and you women really need to grow a set!

I mean come the fuck on, it's 2008, not 1948! You work hard for your money! If you want to spend $400 on embroidered jeans, no one should tell you otherwise. It's your goddamn money. You're not telling him he shouldn't be buying that $500 gun rack or $1000 useless GPS system.

Almost on a daily basis I have a woman come in to return and say "My husband didn't like it" or "My husband said I cant have this!"Carolanne_038a

I'm sorry, your husband just said, "You can't have this?" I just want to jump over the counter and shake them and say, "What the fuck do you mean your husband said you can't have these jeans! You need to slap the shit out of him and bring down the rain by telling him there will be a mountain of stuff he won't be able to have if he doesn't get off your ass. And the first thing you take away is the blow jobs. Believe me, it won't be seconds before he's taking you and your new jeans out to dinner."

Fuck your husbands and grow some fucking balls! If you can't then you sure as fuck need to stop wasting all my time having me give you my fashion advice and product knowledge, show you every goddamn thing in the department, and basically hold your fucking hand for an hour while you decide what you want, and then you bring it back into the store a week later and tell me some fucked up shit like your "Husband didn't like it!" Who cares whether or not he fucking likes your new Jimmy Choo stilettos? If you fucking like them keep them! The douchebag won't be wearing them. Or Maybe he will.Carolanne_070a

And while I'm bitching about controlling husbands, another thing that sends me into a retail rage is when I've been helping some whiny bitch for an hour and she says, "Oh, I don't know maybe I need to call my husband and get his opinion first." You have got to be fucking kidding me, what the fuck? Are you in kindergarden? Are you so fucking retarded and color blind you can't make your own clothing decisions? There is nothing I hate more than women without independence and opinion. Unless you're going to tell me your husband is Alexander McQueen, Ralph Lauren, or Oscar de la fucking Renta, I suggest you go find your own style.

Anyway that's really all I should say about this for now. Fuck permission seeking, indecisive woman and their asshole men. I'm off to the fucking bar!