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July 2008
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September 2008

CSI Report: Costco Bathroom Retail Hell


CSI - our Costco Secret Informant has just notified us that she officially considers cross-training a total Retail Hell Crime. Her "cross-training" assignment was to clean the women's bathroom. The Retail Crime occurred when she walked in and saw this: CLICK HERE.

Sidewalk Sale Retail Hell


Notice how neatly folded everything is staying? Why could this be? Are street shoppers less piggy than store shoppers? Another angle of the sidewalk sale shows why customers are not making a mess...CLICK HERE

Department Store Coupon Customer Gets Told

BallsawardaaaRetail Slut Bridget in Iowa, sends us a higher end department store tale worthy of a Retail Balls Award.

The Day I Almost Capped a Bitch

So our store has coupons every weekish that come out in the paper. They used to give them away at customer service and we usually had a few to spare at the registers. When they stop for some random reason, we have to explain that we don't have coupons to give away. I cannot re-scan coupons-I will lose my job (I'd rather quit than be fired, which I did!) 

An associate was buying some things and had forgotten her
coupons.  A nearby manager said she had extra coupons she would tear up and I should re-scan the coupon. 

Unfortunately for me, a customer behind her viewed this exchange.

Customer:  Do you have any extra coupons?

Me: No, I don't.  They don't give them to use anymore.

Customer:  Yes you do.

Me:  What?

Customer:  You gave some to the girl before me.

Me:  She's an associate and is using a manager's coupons, it's a little different.

Customer:  She told me in the dressing room that you had a bunch of coupons I could use at your register.  This isn't fair!

(That's right, the associate flat out lied to the customer.  Bitch.)

Me:  Well she wasn't telling the truth.  Like I said-they don't give them to us anymore, if we want coupons for ourselves we have to get them out of the paper like everyone else.Rhucoupon34

Customer:  But you have a whole bag of them right there!

Me:  Those are used coupons, I can't re-scan them.

Customer:  Yes you can!

Me: No, I can't.  I will lose my job.

Customer:  But you just did it for her!

(this exchange goes on for a few minutes)

Me:  Like I said, they don't give them to use anymore.

(At this point she looks like she's going to cry)

Customer:  It's not fair!  You come in early and take all the coupons for yourselves so the customers can't have any!

Me:  We don't have coupons at the store at all.  I don't have this stash of coupons that I hide for the hell of it.

Customer:  Well, I thought [dept. store] needed my money.  I was probably going to spend over $300 today and you just lost my business. I'm very disappointed.Bitchcustomeraaa

Me: And I'm disappointed basic education failed you so horribly-so I
guess we're even.

There was no fucking way she was going to be spending $300.  Maybe she was so used to leeching off of the government for welfare she expects handouts.  Not from this girl.  I partially blame this on magazines with shopping "tips" that say if you annoy the clerk enough you'll
get your way.  Screw that noise.

And we couldn't agree more, this whole "haggling" thing has gotten out of control and it's creating major Retail Hell for all of us. Your retort of being "disappointed basic education failed you so horribly," is one we should all tuck in our pockets and pull out for a rainy Retail Hell Sale Day!

Remember Slaves, we want your Retail Balls stories! Send em to us!