Hungry Piggy Shopper
So I sometimes work in the "demo hut" at the local unique grocery store.
Customers go bonkers for anything in a sample cup, it doesn't matter if is is sunflower seed butter and reduced sugar jam sandwich or Thai chicken strips. Samples are usually quite small, often because the warehouse shorts us on orders for featured items.
One slow evening, around 8:15, a obese middle age woman waddles over to the counter. She is wearing wildly mismatched shorts and blouse. Her stomach extended far out and jiggled as she moved. A real piece of work.
There were several cups of the aforementioned SSBJ sammies on a serving plate. The woman immediately asked me if I could open a jar of peanut butter for her, I politely but firmly said "no."
All the while she was grabbing the little sandwiches out of their cups ans stuffing them in her mouth. Other customers avoiding the samples because this revolting woman was blocking the entire counter.
A co-worker, a spry old man known as the "Dairy Troll," comes over to get his lunch and observes my exchange with this woman.
I finally ask her to not take anymore, then I have to slide the plate away from her.
My co-worker says "Wow she really likes those!" loud enough for her to her.
She finally relents and retreats to the nearby bathroom, presumably to take an enormous shit.
"She's going to be a while," the Dairy Troll says. "There's a lot stuck up there."
Just another day in the grocery game.-ScottyRS
Posted by Freddy on Saturday, September 26, 2009 | Permalink
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Comments (10)
Can you imagine being the toilet seat she is about to shit all over!
Great story! ... The RHU critics are giving it 3 enemas and 4 fingers up your Poop shoot.
Posted by: JASON...RhU! | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 12:49 AM
Eh, the tone of the story could have been a little less demeaning and moronic but interesting story...
Why does anyone take more than one sample? That's stupid. It's not a buffet, it's a sample.
Posted by: lizzeh | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 02:02 AM
When you have adult onset diabetes, you no longer get to take enormous shits. Those are for 20-somethings. One day you will WISH you could take enormous shits again. One day, of course, you may be fat, so you won't suffer from anymore misconceptions about what it means to be fat.
Posted by: Hellbound Alleee | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 03:55 AM
Some fat people are like a tornado, they just keep going and you cannot stop them.
Posted by: atombomb1945 | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 06:21 AM
People can be so greedy. One day I was demoing the fancy chicken sausages that come 4 to a pack and I actually had to tell a guy he couldn't have any more samples after he ate at least two whole sausages by himself. Dumbass complained to my manager; luckily he complained to the good manager and got a review of sample policy. Another time I left almondina cookies out after finishing my shift, put about 8 packages in the sample dome with tongs. Apparently they disappeared fast because an hour after I left one of my coworkers found a guy standing there munching his way through a whole package by himself. He'd just opened them and decided to eat them all since they were free samples. My personal favorite was a guy who tried to argue that I should just give him a larger sample since he was going to take several samples anyway. He actually tried to snatch a bagel pizza off my chopping board one day while I was cutting up the other one from the package. Idiot almost lost his fingers.
Posted by: N/A | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Our store doesn't often have samples, for this reason and because we are so small. But last christmas we had an empty plate which had been used for sampling mince pies and a sign indicating there were samples. A woman came in and demanded we opened a pack of mince pies so she could try them. I refused and she told me that she was hungry and to open them. One of my co-workers we call The Hero came past and barred her on the spot.
Posted by: Supermarket Soap | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 01:21 PM
Good God! That sounds like something out of a Stephen King novel.
"NOM NOM NOM! Must have MORE FOOD!"
Posted by: Joe | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 02:29 PM
"One day, of course, you may be fat, so you won't suffer from anymore misconceptions about what it means to be fat."
-Hellbound Alleee
Maybe I was a little harsh on this unfortunate woman, but at the time I was really holding back from going off on here. It sure did feel good to share my disgust with RHU! There are so many regulars at my store, and they all have insane personalities.
Keep your chins up retail slaves :D
ScottyRS
Posted by: ScottyRS | Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 07:04 PM
I have less problems with large people in our shop at the sample table than with families with many kids. Instead of lunch they bring them in and the swarm the table.
at a xmas open house on family devoured about 3 packages of cookies, 2 bottles (yes bottles) of cider and half a pot of cocoa.
then they moved to the next store And did the same. The next year we didn't sample and the same group and more just stuck thier head in the door demanding- "what free stuff u gots now?" "Where's the free cookies?" etc.
some people are pigs no matter what thier shape or size
Posted by: mistress M | Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 10:42 AM
Free anything brings out the worst of the worst. Greed, entitlement, you name it.
Also, for some reason I really love that the guy's nickname is "the Dairy Troll."
Posted by: Magical Shrimp | Monday, September 28, 2009 at 07:10 AM