So I get the call that a woman is being disruptive and refusing to leave the store. So I'm figuring the usual crusty bitch that didn't get her refund or something like that. I get there and she has handcuffed herself to the cart station.
This'll be fun.
The first question I want to ask is "Ok hun wtf is wrong with you" the question I have to ask is "Ma'am what's the problem?"
Cuffed Fucktard: Shut up pig PIG PIG PIG!!!!!
That word gets so old. But still to this day every time someone calls me that I picture a bright pink pig in a cop uniform and it brings a slight chuckle.
So once we got the greetings out of the way I found out her problem was that she thought Walmart was trying to take over the world. Apparently she found out that Walmart has more money than most third world countries and now believes they are trying to take over the US.
Part of me knows she's fucking crazy, but there is that small voice in the back of my head that says she has a point.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what to do. Remember the episode of Saved By The Bell where they handcuffed themselves inside of the school? Freedom to picket, right? Can she do this? I don't know because now I'm too busy remembering Kelly in those tight spandex.
....Oh yeah the cuffed chick. Well obviously she's on private property so she can't picket here, she's got to GTFO.
Me: Ok ma'am you've got to leave the store.
Cuffed fucktard: This is my GOD giving RIGHT!
Me: Yes ma'am you're right. However before you do something like this you must get permission from the police, and we have to take your fingerprints to be sure you're not a terrorist that plans on blowing Walmart up.
Shut up. I get to have fun with the crazies. Its the only thing that gets me through the day.
Best part is she believed me and uncuffed herself and walked out to my car with me.
Another struggle dodged.
Oh, and she was banned from Walmart. Just another ploy for their world domination...get rid of those that are on to them.