Memorial Day Customer Rejects
RHU Discussion: Funny Brand Names

Robbery, Nasty Ass Thieves, a Crazy Crusty

New Freddy 073a Gas Slave Emma here yet again! 

Well it finally happened, that thing that my mother feared would happen when I started working convenience stores. 

I was robbed. 

At knife point.

With children in the store.  

Right as I was closing. 

Asshole sees me counting down my till, decides he wants the less than $100 I had out of the safe, and fucking practically pounces across the counter, swearing that he will cut "my little whore neck" if I hit the silent alarm or don't do what he says. 

So of course I give the money, and he runs.The cops picked him up like ten minutes later, running down the road holding a knife. 

He apparently had done this to two other gas stations. Ugh. I need a raise.


Same night I got robbed, fucking idiot hell spawn decided it was funny to try and snatch as many cigarettes from the employee counter entrance (we have a large display of cheapy cigarettes within arms reach there)

Of course, I caught them, but found they also had stashed MOTOR OIL in their pants, as well as bottles of soda and candy bars. 



And a recurring customer, we have this really overly religious woman, we'll call this crusty bitch Kai Winn (because the only thing differing between this woman and the DS9 religious leader is the obnoxious hats, and even some days I wonder about the headwear this woman wears.) 

Constantly calls me "child" tells me to have a "blessed" day, asks if I've accepted Jesus into my heart (if you ever see me it's pretty clear I'm not christian just in what I wear, say, and do, k?) and demands, on a regular basis, that we turn off the heathen music we listen to on the store radio and listen to some hymns, if we listen to ANYTHING. 

She blatantly displays prejudice against my store manager and coworkers (all are of middle eastern descent), and has asked me before why I work with terrorists. She is crazy.  

There's been a TON more happening this week, but I'm not yet at liberty to discuss a lot of it.

I'll keep ya posted, RHU!

--Gas Slave Emma



Arcade Slave

Omg! I'm glad you're not hurt (well physically, at least). >_> Btw, way to be conspicuous, running down the freaking road with a knife.

Gas Slave Emma

I KNOW RIGHT? Seriously, all this had to happen when we've only got our least experience manager around, too, so we've been running around like chickens with our heads cut off ever since, and he's so afraid to tell his boss, our store owner, because he thinks (and I agree) that the store owner would cut his out of country vacation short because of it.


Good job at being OK. Sounds like a druggie needing to get a fix. Not very smart, but with those types you never know what to expect.

Interestingly enough, despite all of the time I've spent working gas-station/convenience store type retail, I have never been robbed.

I'd be an easy mark too. Never mind that I stand better than 6 foot tall, weigh in at about 225 and am self-defense trained in several ways. I decided years ago that the company's money wasn't enough to risk my life over for some nutbag who needed to get high.

Hellbound Alleee

It shoulda been the Krazy Kristian Kook with the knife, so you could ban her.

It gets to a point where I enjoy the kooks. Sometimes I like to write down what they say. Or engage them in frank discussions. If no one's around, say, as calmly and is as much of a normal voice as possible, that you have...Found the Dark Prince and that you know your True Path or something. Or just that you'd rather be listening to Blue Oyster Cult, but that it's not on the music service. "Blessed Be, Ma'am."

Just dreaming. Very few people can get away with telling a customer they are a Satanist. However, it's a legitimate religion and we have freedom of religion here in America, so...? (I only say this because I truly think it's easier to say you are a Satanist or a Wiccan or Neo-Pagan than saying you're an Atheist.)

Michael Chandra

I'm an agnost. Basically I believe man cannot prove that God exists or doesn't exist. I believe that God might exist. If he does, I hope he's a mix of reasonability and Old Testament "payback bitch" in the afterlife.

When I look at the Old Testament, I see miracles. Those might actually have happened, I don't know. I also see things that are based on the culture back then, and am pretty sure that I can tell which parts came from prejudice and human rules, and which parts might actually be reasonable enough to have come from God.

I wish them good luck trying to turn ME into religion. Way I see it, I'm a believer in my own way, and they're not going to change that.

Joe the Cigar Guy

I'm glad you're okay after the knife assault. That must have been terrifying.

I agree with several of the commenters: if I've got the time, I'll engage the religious zealots.
"Lemme see if I've got you right: an all-powerful, all-knowing Being created us out of mud. But because we used the abilities He gave us, which He KNEW we were going to, He cursed us for all eternity. And we can escape the curse if we tell Him how great He is every day. Sound perfectly logical. Where do I sign up?"


Two things get talked about a lot in the bible.

Wine. And shit that's hard to believe.

I can imagine the conversations...

(Sip) So I was walking in the forest (sip) in the fires of hell (sip) and I saw this do..(sip) Beast! And it had one...(sip) Three! Three big heads....(sip)...and that's when the guy in the robes showed up....


I always say I'm atheist. It almost always shuts up religious spouters immediately. Try it, it's great (even if you're not).

If someone gets angry (as 1 person did) it's grounds for a ban (which that person was).

Timekeeper's Twit

I'm glad you're OK, I'd have shit myself!

Postal Slave

You should have the Kai consult the Vedek Assembly for guidance. It seems as if she could be trying to release the Pah-wraiths. Or possibly sleeping with a Gul disguised as a farmer.

Best. Reference. Ever!!!

Rollercoaster Slave

Haha if one of those religous nuts came up to me and told me to change the music to hymms, I would have changed it to something like morbid angel or hour of penance xD


Considering both the diversity and hypocrisy of Christians, no, I don't believe it's easy to tell if someone does or doesn't believe. But that just might be my experience around so many born-again druggies/whores as classmates and Catholic goths as friends. I always come clean as an atheist. We're here, we're rational, stop assuming everyone believes your mythology.


The service station I go to for ALL my gas is owned by folks from the middle east. They are AWESOME! Everyone is polite and well mannered and will go the extra mile for me.

For example, I am SUPER anal about my car being clean. A couple of months ago, we went on a road trip and had bugs glued to the grill when we got back. The first trip through the car wash did NOT get all of the bugs off. Eric, the car wash guy, said,"Run it through again. You are one of my regulars. You spend enough money here to make sure you car is really clean!"

I made a point to stop his boss the next time I was in and let him know I will not go anywhere else in town even if I could get gas cheaper. These guys ROCK!!!

Craft Store Slave

lol at Hypothetical's comment. we have the people every so often who give me their booklets after they check out. I usually just smile, and as soon as they turn it around, throw it away.


Love the DS9 reference. That was my favorite of the Star Trek spinoffs, partly because each episode didn't necessarily end with all the problems solved and tied up in a pretty ribbon.

Gas Slave Emma

Postal Slave and mimi ilu to death for getting my DS9 reference. I just got done re-watching the entire series with my mother a couple weeks ago so it's all still so fresh in my mind.

"Kai Winn" was seriously just in the store a few minutes ago (I'm typing this from my laptop at work on free wifi YAAAAAY!) and I seriously thought she was going to grab my ear she was being so creepy religious this time.

Grocery Slave

Sounds like one of the situations I had with a customer... I was ringing him up, just got back from church after listening to the Catholic priest rant about how gays have an evil hidden agenda to rape and convert your children... only to later sell crab cakes outside the door and pray for prejudice to be abolished from all of our souls. Anyways, so I'm ringing the guy up, and I'm at the very far register because I didn't bring back Starbucks on my way to work when I see Bible Crackers. I look at it thinking 'we sell these...? ... Oh... wait... shit.' Sure enough I look at the Custy and he's handing me a pamphlet on the "love of god". *facepalm*

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