Piggy Shopper Loses Appetite
Memorial Day Customer Rejects

Unusual Bank Custy

Freddy2 052 From Sam:

I had an opening shift this morning, so I was dutifully booting up my computer to clock in (with the lights out, mind you) when Some Dude walks in and asks if he can cash a check if he's got an account with us.

I ask to see the check in question, he hands it over.

It's a jail check.

No, he doesn't work at the jail. It's the check you're given when you get out of jail.

See, when you're arrested, they confiscate everything, including your wallet and all the cash inside it.

When you get out, they don't give you the cash back, only the personal effects. They write you a check for the cash. So Dude's got a jail check.

"Yeah, this is no problem. Just come back at 9 when we open, we don't have any drawers open right now."

"OK, thanks."

[takes about two steps, stops, turns back again]

"You look really good today."

Jesus Christ, how long was he in jail??

I thought for sure starting the day off that way was a horrible, horrible omen, and save for a huge rush for the first hour of business, it was a pretty boring day.

One small highlight, though: A woman called with some questions because she had some items returned for "insignificant funds”. Classic. Almost as good as the old guy who called me a few months ago who was all concerned about the account he had that was "in the rears".




Hellbound Alleee

Back in the day, I used to make Fanzines.


Anyway, I started getting mail and requests pretty soon after I published it and it got listed in a couple books. Among the first requests I got were prison letters from men, some of whom listed their vital stats and were interested in "getting to know me."

Well, I'm an anarchist. I think the penal system is a sham--although part of me still felt nervous about it. Although these guys actually probably read more than most of us--and they wanted to read a feminist 'zine? More power to 'em. There was a lot of good work in those fanzines, if I do say so myself.

Thinking about it more, though, I think they weren't looking for Great Literature.

The name of the 'Zine?

"Big Girl."

'Nuff said.


I worked at a county jail for about a year. It was amusing. I may share some stories. Anyway, I used to be one of the guys that would handout those checks as the inmates "checked" out. I'd get people that would go "Uhh, thats not my name." "Is that the name you gave the officer?" "Yeah, but its not my real name. How do I cash this?" "Come back tomorrow during normal business hours and talk to Lt Smith. He's the only one who can change the names on the checks." You know how he changes the name on the check? He arrests you for providing false information and enters the money back into the system. You get a new check when you bond out on your new charges.


"You know how he changes the name on the check? He arrests you for providing false information and enters the money back into the system."

That makes me so very happy, its just so perfect, and I bet normally they end up back in jail over very small amounts of money -should've just walked away!


Whats more perfect is most of those people had no reason to lie. They had no wants or warrents. They just lied because it was the cops.


I want to be LT. Smith! That is CLASSIC!!


You and Lt. Smith are my heroes! I'll never understand why people don't just give the correct information, especially if it is their first offense. Better to just man-up, take the punishment, and take the chance the judge be lenient for the first offense then add stupidity and more charges on to it.

Grocery Slave

Lol, really? Someone on Notalwaysright.com had an issue with insignificant funds. Hmm... I wonder... http://notalwaysright.com/funds-are-not-the-only-thing-lacking-here/5646


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