Gay Pride Retail Hell
Clueless Custy Encounter

RHU Discussion: Waiting On Hateful Religious Custys

New Freddy 073a From MerchMunch:

Now, one thing that should be said about me is that I’m shy. Painfully shy at times, to be perfectly honest. I’m working on it, but it’s still hard for me to speak up some times.

Anyway. I work for a theater company as a part time employee, as I’m still in school.

My job includes everything from selling merchandise during the shows, to picking up messages in the office. It’s a pretty cool job, to be fair. So, please, call me MerchMunch. :]

Anyway, on the story/rant. During last year’s shows, I worked the merchandise table with my sister. We are behind the table before the show, during intermission, and after the shows.

During the intermissions, it’s not uncommon for people to stay out in the lobby and hang around until the end of the show, usually because whoever they were with wanted to watch the rest of the show and they didn’t.

One man in particular was wandering around the lobby, while my sister and I are talking quietly behind our table, pretty much minding our own business. She leaves to go to the bathroom, and over comes the wanderer.

He strikes up a conversation with me which is no biggie. Our audience is mostly seniors, as is the cast of our show. We’re used to chatting about grandkids and vacations people took.

This guy however, wasn’t looking for such niceties.

No, he wanted to talk religion.

I would be fine with this, except he went blathering on about how he had to leave his church because they inducted a lesbian pastor. New Freddy 049

He continued on about how horrible gay people were, how it was “wrong” and all that.

Now, I’m of the absolute opposite opinion, despite also being a heterosexual Christian. I’ve been to many a gay pride parade, with many a gay friend. I’m the first person to stand up for gay rights, and human rights in general.

However, me, being too shy and an employee, can’t speak up and tell the guy to suck it. I stand there, listening to this guy’s bullshit until my sister comes back and gives him the stank eye.

He wanders away and I don’t see him again.

What would you do in that situation?

Speak up and tell the bigot assclown to get lost, or smile and nod?





I would have looked at him and said " But Honey, you're sooooo Faaaaaaaaaabbbb-u-lous!"

Not that he probably would have gotten it, but I can't stop myself sometimes from digging at religious nutbags who can't keep their fantasies to themselves.

I mean, if you want to believe that there is an all knowing, all seeing, all powerful all loving thing up in the sky who cares whether you bend over and pray to him or not, and will spank you if you don't, you're more than welcome to do so. But, DON'T shove it in my face, or we will have words. Religious Freedom works both ways.


"Sir, you have the right to your opinion, but I do not share it, and I would prefer not to discuss this issue. Thank you for understanding."

Overnight Slave

My favorite way to combat them is to pick out something else in the Bible that's supposed to be a sin, that they're in obvious offense of.

I've actually gotten into the "homosexuality is a sin" discussion before, and embarrassed the hell out of the woman when I pointed out that technically it's also a sin for women to have hair above their shoulders. When she asked me how I did I know she wasn't recovering from Cancer or something my reply was simple. "I didn't, but I believe in the golden rule, and if you're going to judge me based only on what you see, then why shouldn't I do the same to you??"

She mumbled an apology, gathered up her bags, and quickly left the store.


i know how it is to be a very shy person, but sometimes you really do have to stick up for things you believe in...

i think the best, and most emotionally rewarding, is to wait out the hellish rant until there's a break for air and then jump in with a big FUCK OFF or a valid and very opinionated counter argument. the latter usually works the best as then the idiot will slink off with their tail between their legs ;)

:( i'm so sad that that happened to you... as an openly bi female with lots of gay friends i get a lot of crap, but usually i have the confidence and the piece of mind to bitch the other out.. i would have backhanded that heathen for you if i could have...


Nice one, Overnight Slave!

I try to do the same thing, but I go for the cotton/polyester/rayon/crap blend no no usually. You know, sin to mix fabrics and whatnot. :)

Joe the Cigar Guy

My late mother-in-law would tell anybody who tried to get her to accept their religious views:
"I'll listen to anything you've got to say, AFTER we say a decade of the rosary together. (starting) I believe in God Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and earth..."

The zealots would beat a hasty retreat every time.


Sometimes its best to blame things on store policy: note it doesn't have to actually *be* store policy.

The best example of this is when customers want to keep shopping after the store is closed: "I'm sorry but we have to ask you to leave for insurance reasons" -see now its not your fault, and everyone knows how unreasonable insurance companies are, right?

In this case you could say "The Company/Corporate policy states that we are inclusive and respect all religions, race, and sexual orientation; so I can't discuss this with you" --Now they think you agree with them, but you just don't want to get fired.

I may or may not have said something for real, depends on the nut job. Even though I'm not Christian I probably would have asked for the name of his previous church =))

Grocery Slave

Lol, giving that I am gay myself I'd tell him, "oh, hi, well I'm gay. Glad to know you skipped out on Matthew's teachings... and apparently the rest of Leviticus considering the clothes you're wearing. Huh.... well, I have to head home now to feed my sister and read her a bed time story and relieve the baby sitter since my parents wont be home till next week then get to bed so I can go help out at the homeless shelter. Have a nice day!"

Arcade Slave

If I didn't care about my job, probably start talking about my girlfriend ^^ lol (yes arcade slave is in fact a lesbian).

Honestly people like that piss me off. Don't even get me started on the overzealous missionaries in foreign countries teaching children that being gay is wrong/a sin/blahdeeeffingblah.


I had a guy one day slap a newspaper down on my counter, sigh and say "I think they should just SHOOT all of THOSE people." I stared at him, I had no idea who 'those' people were or why they needed to be shot. Rapists? Child molesters? Abusive parents?

He looked up and continued, "You know, all those..foreigners. Those muck-mucks (I hate this fucking term so hard) in the carry-outs and the immigrants stealing our jobs." Oh. THOSE those people. THOSE people who I had never had any personal issue with, who have never hurt me or my family, who had never insulted me or tried to snatch my job from my hands. THOSE people that worked jobs this douche would never sully his hands with but they're somehow stealing his?

"You're paper is fifty cents. ...sir."

"What? You don't agree? They should just line them up and shoot 'em; if you don't agree you-"

"No, I don't share your hate-filled prejudice. Fifty cents. Get out. In that order."

Mouse Mastered

*shrug* I was semi-worried recently about dealing with this. This time of year in my part of the world there's a huge festival downtown called gay days. Yesterday, a HUGE crowd of gentlemen showed up in celebration, mostly wearing red shirts (my heart goes out to the thoroughly embarrassed heterosexual guys wearing red shirts that day). Apparently one of my coworkers overheard someone in the dining area talking about how he didn't like it and blah blah. There's been a semi-protest every year since gay days started by the Christian Family Coalition and the like about how we shouldn't allow "those guys" to be in the park and being proud of who they are with all the kids around and we're a family company and other bullshit.

Look: if you don't like it, leave. The company's even nice enough that if your homophobic ass gets offended that we'll replace your day off admission so you don't have to be near the gays with your family. However, I should note that the company is, to my pride, one of the most gay-friendly employers on the planet and if we weren't accepting of that lifestyle, we'd have few to no male dancers in our shows/parades. <<


While working at the bookstore, I showed a customer where study guides were for the U.S. citizenship test. Having tuned out his description of how he and his Norwegian girlfriend had first met, I almost didn't notice when he suddenly started in about "those spics" who don't try as had as her to be a good citizen. I'm ashamed I didn't do anything more than sharply warn, "SIR," but he shut up right away.

I did once get to tell a homophobic customer that Borders earns a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign's corporate equality index for their committment to GLBT employees and customers. (About the only thing I was proud of by the end.) Does anyone who works at Barnes & Noble know what your company rates at now? You were 44 a couple years ago.

Laughing Barista

I would probably just say that I support all human beings regardless of their gender, race, sexual preference, etc etc. If he can't than I'd prefer it if he kept his conversation to business only.


It very much depends on corporate culture and your manager's personal beliefs. If you're likely to be fired for having a personality then it's best to just keep it totally professional and steer them away from the offensive topic.

The only time I had a religiously offensive customer was in early December. She took offense to my coworker wishing her a happy holidays and when he explained that he was Jewish and didn't celebrate xmas she turned to me expecting back up. I told her that I use happy holidays in mixed company too since I'm wiccan and she practically ran out of the store. I know there are plenty of places that would fire someone for that but thankfully my boss would back me up.


Anneliese: Barnes & Noble now rates a perfect 100. 8) The reactions of actual employees varies, of course. (I felt welcome in Texas, less so in Tennessee.)

Burger Bitch

I went to Catholic school for almost my entire life, so I know the Bible frontwards, backwards and up a fucking Hill, so I usually pull something else out of it and scare them with it.
"So is masturbation. But everyone does it. Even you. I did it earlier."


I dunno, tell him that you're sorry he's lost his faith and, as a Christian, you'll pray for him to find his way back to Jesus? Or just tell him very condescendingly that you'll pray for him. I mean, saying he left his church is a pretty big opening *if* you can tell he obviously still thinks of himself as Christian despite his disregard for Christian teaching.

Alternatively, quote 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 and tell him to suck a fat cock.

Michael Chandra

I'm waiting for the day where I can go "Have you ever eaten shellfish? Congratulations. You're going to burn in hell."

Not to mention that if they ever raised their voice against their father they also are guilty of an abomination, if I recall Leveticus right.

Grocery Slave

Yes, I'm not the only lesbian on here! *high five to Arcade slave* God I was so pissed when my local arcade shut down... I wanted to work there if possible rather than a grocery store. Just got done with a 10 hour shift at register dealing with people freaking out over a thunderstorm and tornado watch that never happened.

Am I the only one who gets a little weary when someone says they're supportive of my "lifestyle" or "sexual preference" when it comes to my sexual orientation? Seriously people... I never chose to be attracted to my girlfriend. I saw her and was like "wow, she's gorgeous" and after I heard her sing Umbrella I was hooked. A lifestyle is something you can choose, a sexual preference is something you chose. I can't choose whom I'm attracted to and find drop dead gorgeous. Heck... a sexual preference is more like what kind of position you prefer to be in. The only thing I chose was to accept myself and not commit suicide after trying to make myself straight (I grew up in an ultra Catholic household).

Comic Book Guy

I tend to do the nod and smile, noncommittal answer routine with customer rants, though thankfully I'm yet to personally encounter anything that bad at work. If I did get that sort of rant from a douchebag of that caliber, I think I'd just say as firmly as I can than I don't share any of his views and that I need to get back to work. Call for the next person in line if there is one, go find some busywork if there isn't.


I have both gay family members and friends and I am a practicing...whatever. I find facets of ALL religions interesting and take what I like from each to a combination uniquely my own. I also live in an EXTREMELY conservative town and am one of the most liberal people here. Does this make for some weird moments? You betcha!

I work in the local library and we have the entire gamut of folks, from conservative Tea Party nut jobs to Wiccans. I grit my teeth regularly when I am dealing with folks lambasting Harry Potter, Star Wars the "GLBT thing" and everything in between. My attitude is this: I don't care who you sleep with, I care about what kind of person you are! As for religion, you can believe whatever you want, just don't try to foist it off on me.

I have friends who are of nearly every faith out there and we all manage to get along. Can you believe it? What a country!! ROFLMAO

Hellgreens Slave

Even though I'm a straight female I'd look him square in the face and say "Sir that is offensive as it offends myself & my girlfriend. I'm glad you have an opinion but please stop shoving it in my face, thanks!"

Just remember.. opinions are like assholes- everyone's got one.


@Burger Bitch: wah hah hah!!

Honestly, what did the dickhead expect you to say?? It might be interesting in a situation like that, to pretend you agree with them and make them dig themselves a deeper and deeper hole - gives you a chance to run thru all the ideas on here and pick the best response.

And in further reference to what BB said..this guy was obviously spending a lot of (private) time thinking about this lesbian....

Hellbound Alleee

...or you could out-kook him.

Tell him your latest theory about how aliens abducted JFK and that Lee Harvey Oswald was just a poor dupe controlled by the aliens' space lasers, and that soon they'll be coming back for the Queen Of England, but that she's really a Lizard Queen, and that you can see whose a Lizard-Alien by wearing these special sunglasses, and that the Lizard-Aliens wrote the Book of Leviticus and isn't it interesting that they made it a Capital Crime to sleep with the same sex and to sass your parents AND to work on the Sabbath AND to eat shellfish AND to wear mixed fibres, and that you've never seen a preacher before who didn't wear mix fibres and what was HE wearing?

That kind of thing.

Hellbound Alleee

Or, "Isn't it sad that so many Crusaders for Marriage have been tempted into sin lately, like George Rekers, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Richard Curtis, Bob Allen, Glen Murphy, Roy Ashburn, Edward Schrock, and Dave Dreier. It must be The Devil"

Grocery Slave

Lol, Hellbound, I'm just hoping for Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh to be caught doing some "scandalous" thing that will turn the Tea Party members into a bedlam.


I'd go with the "I'm not allowed to engage in conversation about anything except the shows," along with a very icy, no-nonsense tone, and then turn away and find some busywork like straightening up the merchandise (whether it needs it or not).

As for the Bible-quoters, I believe there's something in there that says when you need to poop, you're supposed to go outside of the town, dig a hole and use that. Can't recall the exact chapter/verse, maybe someone else on here knows it? That's a good one to quote when people start in about "you can't pick & choose what parts of the Bible you obey."

Mellow Pizza Slave

Yay for lesbians on RHU!

I've yet to run into this at my job, but the rest of the staff knows about me. They ask me how my girlfriend is all the time. :)

I'm from Atlanta, and I've seen my fair share of religious hateful people, just not while I was on the job. I think next time I run into one, I'll just out-kook them. Makes me think of my campus and the street preachers who come out every once in a while. They always preach on homosexuality being a sin, things like that. My friend went out next to the guy and started preaching from his biology book. Absolutely hysterical.

Mouse Mastered, my friend is also working at that certain mouse themed park. She was telling me the other day about the gay days and how she's going soon :) I'm pretty jealous!


I've been lucky enough not to have to deal with them, but should the occasion arise I'd start quoting back at them.

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged.

James 4:12 Who art thou that judgest another?

Romans 2:1 Therefore you are inexcusable, o man, whoever you are that judge: for wherein you judge another, you condemn yourself, for you that judge do the same things.

John 8:7 And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."

I can't imagine that they'd like that very much. (For the record I happen to be a bisexual atheist, but the religious bats don't have to know that.)

Halfhearted Sales Ninja

"So is masturbation. But everyone does it. Even you. I did it earlier."

ROFLMAO! I am so using that!

I am also dying to use this gem-

"Sir, do you like hamburgers?"
"Do you like my shirt?"
"I guess, wh-"
"Huh, what ar-"
"I don't see wh-"
"SINNER!" *Pointing and backing away*


Being a Bi-Male-Jew (there is a joke there somewhere, I can feel it) I have a lot of "fun" with the Bible-thumpers and the "it's Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays!" people.

Every year I wish people a Happy Chanukah whenever they wish me a Merry Christmas (I wear a Star of David in my ear). They yell at me and demand to know why I thought they were "a Jew" and I point to my earing and point out that they thought I was a Christian!

Bible-thumpers... Ah yes... These "must hate gays/Jews/etc" people really curl my tootsies. Whenever I get the anti-gay speech/questions, I just whip out my phone and ask them if they can hang on a second, my boyfriend is calling. If that doesn't work, I pretend to answer and open with, "hey Stickybuns, need me to grab something on the way home tonight?" - THAT. ALWAYS. WORKS.

Not Perfect

In situations like that, I just pretend I'm on "Whose Line" and I'm playing that game where all you can say is two pre-selected phrases; in this case "Uh-huh" and "I don't know". Nothing kills a conversation quite so efficiently.

Bellflower of Tears Holdings Co.

Wow, this guy wouldn't have known what hit him. My responses to this is counter quoting (ex-novice to a convent and theologian to boot). I am also inclined to lay hold of my bisexual co-worker (I am as well and we joke about being wives) and tell her I love her. Boy have we gotten some AWFUL looks for calling each other Wifey or Baby, even when customers weren't involved in the conversation.

I did feel bad for this one poor guy I ran into a Tears while I was straightening housewares:
Me: Can I help you sir?
Custy: Just waiting for my wife. You know how that is.
Me: *smiling nod and resume straightening*
Custy: *embarassed* Not that I'm saying you HAVE a wife...*gets embarassed* Although if you did that would be ok too...y'know times have changed and...*embarassed silence*
Me: Sir, it's really alright. I love my girlfriend and my boyfriend both very much and I'm not offended. *he leaves blushing*


Ugh, I hate those people who make us tolerant christians look like jerks. Maybe they should read the part of the Bible that tells us not to judge.

Once I get into retail, I'll print out notecards quoting that and hand it out to the overzealous custys.

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