Great ways to start your morning: Rolling into the parking lot at 7 am, there are 4 cop cars surrounding a car and a man in plain clothes, apparently the focus of their interest. 

I wasn't real close to them, so I didn't get a good look at just how plain this guy's clothes were.

I see that one of the cops is a detective who works security part time in our store, so I go to see what it is all about. 

He said "This is not how I wanted to start my day!"

It seems that our guest this morning was serving up breakfast - sausage and eggs served with a side of hair pie. 

He had walked into the store wearing a t-shirt, flip flops, a small women's thong, and short short booty shorts. 

With his package unwrapped.

The cop said that he used a phrase that he never thought he'd have to use in his career in law enforcement: "Dude, your junk's hanging out." 

This guy runs about 6' 2" and 280 lbs.

The young lady who donated the garments was, according to the brave young soul, "probably under 100 lbs". 

The shorty shorts ripped when he put them on.  Yeah.

Our generous provider of morning hilarity had been drinking with his friends until 5 am.

At some point in the wee hours somebody made a bet of some sort, the stakes being that the loser would have to give the early morning denizens of Groceryville a show in garments not belonging to them. 

He lost. 

Oh, did he lose.