So I'm starting to think that I'm a magnet for psychotic religious people.
Seriously, every other time I go grocery shopping one of them starts yelling at me. I was at the store, and I while browsing through the frozen pizzas this OLD (85+) lady came up to me and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I'm going to burn for eternity for my sins.
What is this, I don't even...
She starts badgering me asking why I haven't embraced the "good lord" (seriously, I need to stop wearing death metal band shirts when I go shopping...)
She asks me like 1000000000 questions about Jesus (I was expecting a shopping trip, not a sort of Spanish inquisition), and I'm just trying to tune her out.
Instead of realizing that she's wasting her time trying to convert me to whatever church she was in, she raises her voice until she reaches a very shrill, irritating tone.
Seriously, please don't force your beliefs down my throat. You don't see me trying to convert people left and right, do you?
After like 5 minutes of her pestering me, I just turned to her, and in my best demon voice (think death growl) tell her:
"I don't believe my lord Satan would be pleased if I talked to you."
Judging by her expression, I think she shit herself.