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August 2010
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October 2010

Bloodsucking Piggy Bitch Encounter At Craft Store

Craftcusty Hi there, read the site for awhile but haven't posted any of my encounters in retail hell yet but my encounter with this lady finally pushed me to posting. 

I'm an Asst. Manager for a craft/fabric store that I've worked at for the past six years and very accurately am TheKattyBitch.

First off, I'm almost 8 months pregnant and still trying to do 40 hour work weeks which are wearing me out a little...

Anyways, I'm walking across my store yesterday when I'm called over to a lady who is using a stack of sewing tables as her throne.

She's a heavy set woman who decided that instead of using a cart would just gather random products around her as she scrutinized them.

She called me over to ask what the price was on an item that came from the other side of the store-

I wasn't sure so I had to trek to the other side to look at the pricetag on the hook she got it off of and walk back to tell her, then got drilled for five minutes about the price and the sale price before she thrust it at me.

"I don't want it. Take it back." 

Fine, whatever as long as I can walk away from you now.

Fifteen minutes later I walk past that side of the store again and she's still sitting there only now she's surrounded by 20 large skeins of yarn and holding a bouquet of fake flowers.

She calls out to me to answer a question and for the next five minutes I get to explain over and over again how 'Buy 1 get 1 half off' works and why it's only on brand A and not not brand B.

After it's drilled into her brain she asks if the flowers are on sale, "No ma'am, they're not."

Blank stare from customer before she barks out, "Go check." 

"Ma'am these are not on sale, there are no sale signs anywhere near that aisle and I set the ad... They are not on sale, sorry."

And I scooted away as gracefully as I could and was beyond thrilled when I saw her at the check out line some minutes later....

That was till I walked past her thrown and saw the mess she left behind of her discarded treasures.

Ugh, I could have taken a pair of scissors to the temple at that point.

Well, I needed that.

--Thanks for letting the pretty bitch rant.



Honest Pizza Custy Renews Hope For Humanity

Carolawesome Hey so I've been lurking RHU for the last few days and have read quite a few entries. In fact, I have done little else since.
Anyway, I just started a new job at a local pizza joint so I don't have any bad custy stories (yet), but I do have one good one.

Not your average pizza joint, we do more than just pizzas. We also do spaghetti, lasagna, french dip sandwiches, and other things like that.

My story is that this one customer ordered three french dip sandwiches. And she wanted them delivered. Oh joy.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to deliver three sandwiches and three cups of au jus?

I can't just throw it in the same fabric boxes the pizza goes into. They have to be bagged and I have to keep my hand on them the entire time while driving so they don't spill in my car.

On top of that I have a pizza to deliver to another address afterwords.

Anyway, I make it to the apartment with the $23 dollar order and she pays with $40 cash.

I haven't counted back cash for quite a while so I'm a little rusty but I count it back and give her $17 with her food, she tips me a couple bucks, and I leave.

No big deal and I continue with my day.

I get back to the pizza shop and my manager tells me to do my end of day, which is where I just calculate how much I've made and separate my tips and float from the order money.

I came up roughly $30 short of the over all total I should have had.

It's then that I realize I don't have the $40 from the sandwich  order.

Luckily the phone number is printed on the receipt so I call the number and asked if I accidentally gave her money back with her change.

She checks and claims that I did not.

I can normally be put under a lot of stress until it starts to show, but did it ever show when I went out to my car to search for the lost money.

And that's when she called back.

She found the $40 and was willing to give it back to me.

I have never felt so lucky in my life, and it leaves me with some hope for humanity still. She saved my job with her honesty (or at least my paycheck).

Either way, I will not be doing that again any time soon.

Well that's my story. The pizza joint I work at has mostly good customers so I don't know if I will post very often but I do know we have some trouble customers every now and then so this may not be the last you hear of me.

So back to lurking with me.

I guess you can call me pizza pimp for lack of anything else creative and even though I'm apparently not good with money

--Pizza Pimp


Customer Reject


Hello RHU,

So there I was, changing some prices in out freezers when I spotted this frozen Caesar Salad kit.

Just so you understand exactly how lazy this is, our produce department is about 10 feet away from this freezer.  

I guess they wanted frozen vegetables after all.

Thanks for helping me smile every day!




Crazy Religious Psychopath Encounter

Damien 055 Hey RHU!

Damien here!

So I'm starting to think that I'm a magnet for psychotic religious people.

Seriously, every other time I go grocery shopping one of them starts yelling at me. I was at the store, and I while browsing through the frozen pizzas this OLD (85+) lady came up to me and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I'm going to burn for eternity for my sins.

What is this, I don't even...

She starts badgering me asking why I haven't embraced the "good lord" (seriously, I need to stop wearing death metal band shirts when I go shopping...)

She asks me like 1000000000 questions about Jesus (I was expecting a shopping trip, not a sort of Spanish inquisition), and I'm just trying to tune her out.

Instead of realizing that she's wasting her time trying to convert me to whatever church she was in, she raises her voice until she reaches a very shrill, irritating tone.

Seriously, please don't force your beliefs down my throat. You don't see me trying to convert people left and right, do you?

After like 5 minutes of her pestering me, I just turned to her, and in my best demon voice (think death growl) tell her:

"I don't believe my lord Satan would be pleased if I talked to you."

Judging by her expression, I think she shit herself. 

Sincerely confused,



RHU Badass Slave Award: Mistaken For Crustys

Badass You've asked for it RHUers and so it here it is!

The Badass Slave Award!

Dedicated to posts revealing Retail Slave Heroics, it will also include Custy Slaves Rescuing Other Slaves From Horrible Custys, Slaves Helping Their fellow Coworkers, and and other inspirational Slave and Custy stories - in short - it's about how badass we all are!

We don't hate custys (except when they piss us off), we just want to give them great service and help fulfill their needs.

So the first Badass Slave Award goes to Emoo, who did an amazing job taking care of a couple she, at first, mistook for rude crustys:

Hey RHUers!

I've been super busy with college these past few weeks, and my availability sucks due to said school. So I get about a shift a week. Blergh. It's actually all right though, since I spend most of my time in the art building drawing for hours....stupid art major.

Anyway, just a short little story because I was so amused by it yesterday.

I went in to work on Sunday, and had one of my first "big" sales. I mean, it wasn't a 5000 order, but it was respectable enough that my manager gave me a fist bump (he's sort of cool like that) and told me I done good.

Towards the tail end of my shift, I'm hanging around the e-readers when I see this older couple.

I turn into Helpful!Emoo and ask 'em "How may I help you today?"

No answer.

I figure they're being rude crustys, and start to turn around.

The husband catches sight of me, and starts gesturing to his ears and to himself and his wife.

They're both deaf.

Now, naive as I am, I ask over the radio if anyone knows sign language. Course, no one does, but these people came for a TV.

I basically sold them a cheapo little TV through a combination of crazy looking hand movements and half legible scribbles.

They were by far the nicest people I'd encountered of the day, made even better by the fact that they didn't whine and moan as custys are apt to do (even though I doubt they would have if they were able to speak to me).

I think they were grateful that someone made an effort to try and help them, instead of staying away and letting them go on their own.

Til later,



Golden Arches Hell: Migrating Crustys

Jason2 070 An Arch Bitch here.

Now I actually like my job, my co workers are pretty awesome and I've made some good friends there over the years and the customers are actually nice, unless you mess something up, which is understandable.

Anyways I worked today and had quite the interesting run in with a customer.

Now, this wasn't one of our normal customers.

One of the other arches near us closed down so we get all there horrible custys.

And I mean horrible, the first customer I met with from that store was so rude, and its not like he was waiting or anything.

Anyways back to my story. We had been very busy from the wave of customers from the other store. So when I get to take this guys order he seemed not to bad.

And then he pulled out the dreaded coupon.

He wanted the meal and had a coupon for a free same sandwich. Which isn't possible. It says pay FULL price, get second one free. The meal, isn't full price. Some custys have issues with this.

I informed him of what the coupon says and he went, a little mental is how I explain it.

He looked at me saying I was crazy and that other stores do it. And that he couldn't handle it and would be going to another store.

I kinda just laughed as he leaved.

I honestly get 3 people a day that do that, except most of them can handle it :D:D

Of course the next lady in line knew how to use the frigging coupon. xD

--An Arch Bitch