Retail Hell: Suggestive Selling
Pigggy Shopper Hit and Run

Ashy-Boy's Gag-Inducing Retail Hell

Ashyboy2 Here's Ashy-Boy's latest tale that could very well be a Halloween Retail Hell Horror story. Don't read this if you are eating:

I had just about the grossest fucking day today.

And when I say gross, I mean the most foul smelling things in existence all compiled into one, gut-wrenching, cookie-tossing smell to end all smells.

The ingredients to this cocktail of Retail Hell:

-Sour Clam Chowder.

This shit will make ANYONE gag. I got in at 3:00pm today, and someone LEFT ME A NOTE to empty know, rather than empty it within the OTHER seven hours it was there.

How the FUCK did ANYONE let it sit there that long?! I could smell that shit as soon as I went inside the damn store.

The soups are on the counter behind the register, so our backs face them when we ring up customers. Why no one did anything and left it for ME is absolute laziness.

So I immediately took that shit outside and poured it out.

Sick sick sick.

Scrubbed that pot until it fucking smelled like nothing but dish soap and then washed it again once it was dry.

-Cooler FULL of Rotten Milk.

I shit you not.

Our entire cooler of milk, (which isn't much, really: about four varieties, two sizes, and about four of each fit in it), was rotten.

The dates haven't even been reached yet.

I had to refund some poor guy's money because he gave the milk to his daughter and she and her mother both said it was sour.

I felt horrible for it, even if it wasn't my fault.

This apparently isn't the first time the guy had bought rotten milk from us, either, which made me panic. I immediately checked the half gallon I opened for milkshakes, and THAT was ALSO rotten.

Tall Guy, one of our floor guys, was inside with me due to lack of things to do, and we took all the milk out and checked the temp.

Big Jim says the cooler's set right, but I'm thinking no...

And I refuse to sell any of the milk until the cooler's checked.

-Shitty Bathroom.

Of course.

I walk in and some asshole has shit on the back of the toilet seat.

This one speaks for itself.

-Maggot-Infested Potatoes.

Don't ask.

Rotten potatoes are the most foul things, for some reason. This one isn't really anyone's fault. We DO check these guys very often, and keep them where they can't get wet, but we'll miss a couple on occasion.

Tall Guy dropped one on the floor and revealed the delicious little add-ons inside.


-Dishes Sitting In the Sink.

You know.

The stuff that should have been washed LAST NIGHT at eight pm and never was.

Yes. THOSE kind of dishes.

The most gag-inducing day ever.

I'm super pissed about the milk due to the fact that I came up with an awesome new shake for the store and now can't make any. I'm also terrified that the milk I found in our personal refrigerator that was rotten may have been used for shakes anyway.

It's also raining like a bitch, and the dead earthworms also stink for whatever reason.

Someone may as well have come in and blown ass all around the store, it was THAT bad.

Sometimes wearing a hat has other uses. Like fanning the stench away from one's nose.

Poor hat...





the bathrooms by my office are being redone and the workers left the drainpipes uncapped so now the whole area smells like a sewer...i completly sympthise.


I would be febreezing the shit out of everything. Probably not a good idea around food and produce, though.


Do you turn your hat around backwards on your head when shit's about to go down? :D


Yeah, there's no way that cooler is at the right temperature and /all/ the not expired milk was rotten. Sounds like a check and a thaw might help it get back in line.

Man, that sounds like a day from hell. Reminds me of when I had to help clean a septic tank. I couldn't smell anything else for days.


I was serving sambhar (an Indian lentil soup) at my demo counter one day. It was sold in a glass jar and we had a large end cap display of it, several cases with several cut down boxes on top. It had been up for a few weeks and we were trying to clear it down a bit, hence the demo. I picked up one of the boxes and noticed it was damp on top but figured that maybe someone spilled something. I opened the box to find half the jars were smashed and they were all fluffy and gross. This was when I was pregnant too so my sense of smell was heightened and my gag reflex too. I tried to chuck it out but my manager caught it and scrubbed the jars up so I could serve them on demo. I waited till he walked away then tossed them anyway. I haven't been able to eat sambhar since.

My very grossest job stink wasn't retail though. I was working in a lab that developed environmentally friendly clean up solutions for oil spills and such like. We were working on developing something for grease traps (the big ones out the back of factories) to help keep them clean so they wouldn't need pumped so often. We needed to go collect samples for testing so I went to a Scotch pie (the most revolting meat pies in existence) factory to scoop the vats out the back. The guy I was with wound up puking in the bushes. Sadly for him I couldn't reach to get the samples so he had to lie on the ground with his head in the pit scooping up a sample.


Ashy-Boy, you rendered my face to this while reading your story:

I know. I was warned. Gotta say, I'm ripe with morbid curiosity. Also, either your coolers arn't up to speed, or your supplier is shipping out bogus dairy and the problem is on their end. Might want to check with them too.

Arcade Slave

Ugh rotten potatoes smell NASTY. And the little "friends" they have all over them are gross.

Adding rotten milk, clam chowder, people who don't know how to use the toilet, and everything else is completely horrid. :[ Hope a cleansing wind sweeps through your store.

Hellgreens Slave

ewwww!!!!!! sour milk isn't that bad compared to new england clam chowder- I agree that sour clam chowder is the NASTIEST smell ever!!!! I had to damage out like 10 expired cans like 3 years ago- I still get sick thinking about that smell.. and to make it worse we had expired chocolate slim fast as well- the combination actually made me vomit. *shudders*

mick waukee

part of my job is to unload containers of "product" from a country in southeast asia.
they have a permit to use this NASTY pesticide prior to overseas shipment.
the smell of that crap would gag a maggot, so what the company does is "air out" the containers before unloading them.
all palleted product is wrapped in shrink wrap. then we take them to the warehouse, where they proceed to stink up that area.


Its entirely possible that the problem with the milk happens during shipping, or like the grocery store I used to work at the problem was simply the staff were lazy and left the milk sitting by the loading dock rather than moving it to the fridge. And I don't mean they left it an hour, I mean they left it like that rotten chowder -until the next shift showed up.

Ponda the Deli Panda

I work in a Hellmart and we have "gone green" which consists of us having to seperate meat throw aways and other organic throw aways from the regular trash in my deli....the only thing worse than smelling a 50 gallon trash can full of veggies, eggs, and milk thats been sitting at room temp all week is having to smell the dumpsters out back that we have to dump them in. :(


I live in Northern Australia, a bottle of milk that lasts to it's full is a hard task requiring you to put it back IMMEDIATELY after use, we turn our fridges down to below the norm simply because they can't keep up with continuous opening of fridge doors in a house of 8 people, so everything turns to slushy, but at least it's not rotten.

As for out-grossing: my roommate was in charge of taking out trash, but he decided to randomly up and take a quick flight to a capital city to see family. As he is a quiet guy we never really noticed. DUN DUN DUN 3 days later I realised and tried to take trash out, realised it was full of maggots and put it outside (busy at the time). I went back in and as I was on the phone I was pacing with my very gay clean roommate on the couch doing his nails, and then I noticed the floor. Little white maggots. EVERYWHERE!! D: I shrieked and scared the guy on the other side of the phone and when my mate noticed he freaked. The maggots had escaped out of the kitchen, all through the living room up to each of the bedroom doorways. Over every crook and cranny. NASTY.

We bombed the place and everything got vaccuumed.


Oh man, I feel for EVERYONE who deals with gross things at work. I work with fabric so there's very little that can go really gross with fabric, luckily. But the building our store is in is INFESTED with the biggest roaches I have ever seen. Like, the smallest roaches in the building are the size of mice, a good 3 inches or sometimes more.

And I am the ONLY PERSON at my job who is somehow not afraid of vermin. Every time a roach menaces my co workers, they call me over to squish and dispose of it. (I'm ok with this. it makes me feel like a badass.)
But because they are so large, they squish epic-ly and messily. GROSS.

Also, we have rats. I mean, it's LA and EVERYTHING has rats. We put out poison and when one gets in it usually dies from the poison pretty quick. But again, everyone else I work with is TERRIFIED of them. I was once called on my day off by a panicked boss asking if I could please, please PLEASE come in on my day off just for 5 min to remove the dead rat. (I said yes because I like my boss and co-workers.)

But by far, by FAR the grossest thing ever happened to me working at a grocery store in the midwest that also has a department that sells small pets. (like hamsters and stuff). I was cleaning up the customer service desk and taking back all the go-backs, when I came to a huge pile of tissue wrapped around something.

No one at the wrap knew what it was, and told me that 1. it smelled really bad and 2. it had been there since the morning shift and everyone was afraid to open it but it had to be opened because no one on our shift knew what it was and it wasn't logged in the returns or dammages book.

So, being the intrepid 16 year old punk that I was, I opened it. (I wore gloves at the request of my supervisor) and it was an EPICLY DEAD guinnea pig. like, dead for at least 3 days, kind of bloaty, eyes rotting really dead guinnea pig. I was about as horrified as I ever get. (which was actually only a little bit, I am not easy to horrify.)


Gross and grosser~ Nightmare fuel to the max!

And yes. I do turn my hat around when shit goes down. >/ It's like the place got Garybombed that day. (LAWL if anyone figures that out.)

To top it all off, I had to come home and empty out my family's fridge. No one does it but me, so it's no wonder that shit goes bad and stinks in it. This time it was a cucumber, some lima beans, and a jar of jam from 2008. When I asked how the hell I missed it, my mom confessed that she's been taking it back because it 'still looked okay'.

Shit had fermented around the lid.

Work just got more awesome: I have a PokeWalker now, so I run around a lot to level up my shit. Boss has no fucking clue. It's hilarious.

Le GASP! Thanks for writing my pen name on my picture, guys~ I have another day I wanna tell you about, because we have PUMPKINS now. Pumpkin pumpkins, pumpkin ice cream, Spiced Pumpkin Bisque, pumpkin pie, pumpkin roll, etc, etc, etc, gag, orange-vomit, jack-o-lantern death face. In that order.


I love pumpkin ice cream so much.

Endless Mike

The worst thing I've ever smelled was ancient rotten frappuccino. I've always been surprised that the nursing home I worked at didn't claim the title.


Ashy I really don't know how you put up with having crap dumped on you like that. Shit that should have been cleaned the night before just left there for you with a note stuck on it? Because someone was just too fucking lazy to do their job? I'd rage. You're a saint.


ooooh, stinky stories, got a few.

Went over to a section of the library and smelled the weirdest thing - smelled like cat piss, but if the cat was the size of an elephant, it was THAT strong. I even said, "What's that SMELL?" Unfortunately two homeless guys were sitting at the nearby computer and they said "It's us, we're homeless". God, sooo embarrassing, but no way was it them cause it was no human smell and it disappated shortly after, before they left. I apologized to them of course, saying no way could they smell like that smell and still be human, they laughed.

Worse, I was off on a Friday, came back in Monday and kept catching whiffs of something nasty and weird, here and there, almost "out of the corner of my nose?". So I was out another morning at a meeting, got back early and let the covering librarian go early. He stopped at the restroom before he left, and when he passed me, it was like he punched me in the face! Gads, he put some kind of essential oil on, and it REEKED! Befouled the entire library, couldn't eat at my desk as usual so no lunch for me, no place was safe, I felt nauseous all day. That was the smell I caught the other times, and that was 72 HOURS later, it clung to everything and took forever to go away. Needless to say, he quit and moved to Pakistan, converted Muslim. (No problem, but interesting mix with his casper-white complexion and backwoods Arkansas accent, I can tell you.)

Also had a stinky patron complain about the air freshener we used to cover up HIS smell, that was funny. Same dude borrowed VHS tapes (back when) and always returned them covered in dirt, like he'd been camping. We had to wash off all the cases. Finally got fed up with him and let him have it, "If you have access to a VCR, then you have access to running water, TAKE A FRICKIN BATH!" heeheehee, that felt good to say.

Also seen maggots on eggs in the deli, no AC in the summer, got very warm in there, gross! Had fire come out of a toaster cause stupid housemate buttered the bread BEFORE putting it in the toaster, wtf?

Also, back in college I moved into a house in May for the summer, only to find dishes literally from Xmas, bits of torn apart birds and animals from previous tenants dogs and cats, tumbleweeds of hair everywhere (thank god I'm not allergic, probably would have exploded just stepping over the threshhold) and garbage almost filling the entire kitchen. Fun times cleaning all that out. But it was stay there or go home to Mom, you make the call.


But then when you walk out of work and the whole world smells like Crunchberries, then it's all good. mmmmm, delish!


Ok, my OCD usually only applies to certain things, but now, thanks to this, I am dedicating this weekend to a full scrubdown of my room, my back pack, the fridge, the pantry, the floors, everything



And it wasn't even the story that did it. It was the comments

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