You can call me Vee. First time posting and all that.
I sell body jewelery at a kiosk. It's pretty laid back, I mean, after tidying all the tiny stuff I just sit back, read, and wait for the morons.
Now, I have decided to compile a list of my most irritating encounters. As much for your entertainment, as for me to blow off steam.
Here it goes.
1. If you are coming to buy something for your piercing, what kind of a person would you expect to sell it to you? Some blonde bimbo who doesn't know what they're talking about? Chances are, it's going to be somebody with body modifications. Perhaps even *gasp*, someone wearing slightly alternative clothing!
I wear a bit of everything, but generally black. With heavy eyeliner. I guess I'm sort of gothic looking. So here comes a troup of giggling ass-tards with the same messy bun updo that looks like a mushroom growing from their heads, wearing short shorts, uggs, and Lululemon hoodies. (I am not kidding when I say they were all dressed in the same basic outfit. Four women. Creeeeeepy.)
They give me the up and down with a look that says, "Oh. We were hoping for someone more normal looking to help us."
Mmhmm. Good luck with that, sweetheart.
2. I have gagued ears. I know what I'm talking about in regards to that. When I tell you that you don't have a chance in hell that you will be able to fit that in your ear, no matter how drunk you get, please believe me. I know. I really do. It's at least four sizes too big to fit in your ear. At least. But if you wanna go tear your ear to smithereens, go ahead. Don't you say I never told you so.
And certainly don't try to return them after. I will just laugh at you.
3. "I like your outfit! You look very Japanese!"
Buddy. Just because I'm wearing a necktie and a miniskirt? Really? That is your definition of looking Japanese? I am of European descent. You tardmuffin.
4. Dork: "What's that symbol mean around your neck?"
Me: "It's a pentacle."
Dork: "So you're Wiccan? I know all about that stuff, I used to watch Charmed!"
Me: * awkward thumbs up* suuuure.
5. Lots of people: "Well, you don't know anything! I'm gonna go pierce it myself anyway. It's cheaper, I'll just get drunk and do it! HAHAHA."
ARE YOU ALL ALCOHOLICS? ARGH. Go ahead. Get yourself a trip to the E.R., and see how much it costs then.
6. BAD BACKCOMBING. Just a regular life pet peeve, really. But this guy who looks like he stepped out of Jersey Shore comes up to me with his girlfriend. (This is Canada, not Jersey...) Now, this girl... I like to call them "Snook-alikes". But this one, holy hell... her hair was backcombed into almost a perfect sphere around her head.
Words can't even do it justice. I was in a pissy mood, and had to bite my tongue in order to keep the words "I'm sorry sir, I can't hear you over your girlfriend's hair." from leaving my mouth.
I mean, really? Snookie would know better. Some things are better left un-poofed.
Lady... if you are honestly trying to emulate some Hollywood tart, it's not working. They have their own stylists! Who would shoot them before ever sending them out into public like that.
* * * *
I also have a second job. As a cashier. Wearing a red polo shirt. Where we charge five cents for a plastic bag. It is not my fault we charge for bags. The money goes to charity. You want to keep looking like an asshole who doesn't want to give a few cents to charity? Just because you think you shouldn't have to pay for plastic bags? Go ahead. Yell at me some more. Make yourself look stupid. I really do have all day.
Well, I suppose that's all, for the time being!
Until the next job or the next moron...
Chins up, darlings