Entitled Black Friday Customer Gets Told
Magical Kingdom Custy Has Tantrum Over Cake

The Desire To Help Never Leaves

RHSEPT 468 From Humor Me:

No, I haven't found a job yet, but when you have been in retail as long as I have, and you have that built in "Can I help you?" gene, you just can't stop yourself when you see someone who looks totally lost.

So I was in "the Bullseye" last week getting some stuff because its the only store I can get to by foot. Granted it still takes me 30 to 45 minutes even though its 100 yards to the corner of the parking lot and then diagonally across, but its the best I can do.

I was getting some basics like milk and bread because I was completely out and couldn't make cereal or a sandwich without them, when I see a lady looking lost.

ME: *mentally thinking "I'm going to pay for this"...* "Having trouble? I used to work retail. You know you can use one of those red phones *points to phone on post RIGHT THERE* and they can tell you right where to find something."

CRUSTY: "Oh, they never can tell you where to go. I'm looking for ice cube trays and drain boards."

ME: "Well, I could probably figure it out, I know about where they keep stuff in general. Let's look."

*believe me. If I hadn't been in a mobility cart, I wouldn't have even considered it*

We are wandering up and down the aisles and I find stuff like the cooking utensils.

ME: "You'd think they would be right in here. Are you sure you don't want to call? There's another box right over here."

*points to another red box about 10' away*

CRUSTY: "No. They probably don't have what I'm looking for anyway!"

*I turn the cart around*

ME: "Let me get a better look at the other end of the aisles."

"Oh Look! Here are the drainboards!"

Crusty proceeds to look at every single drainboard deciding it was too expensive or didn't point the right way, and as she looked at each one, would toss it back at the shelf!

I would go back and straighten it up behind her, all the while resisting the urge to bash her over the head with each one.

Mind you, I don't even WORK THERE!

CRUSTY: "I only came here because I got a $10 gift card. I saw ice cube trays at Wal-Mart, but I didn't like the shade of blue... it was too dark."

I'm thinking, "The ICE CUBE TRAYS WERE TOO DARK?!!! Who the fuck sees ice cube trays? They sit in your fucking freezer all the time making fucking ICE! Unless that's where you keep the eyeballs of the people you have killed, you fucking anal-retentive bitch!

*smiles sweetly*

ME: "Well, sorry I couldn't help you. Good luck!"

*Drives to the next aisle, grabs grapefruit spoons and proceeds to dig out my eyeballs so I can't spot another lost crusty*

-- Humor Me




I was not aware that drainboards pointed in any particular direction. Can't you just, you know, turn it around, or something?


reminds me of a craigslist ad I saw, someone wanted to swap an 8x10 cupcake tray for a 10x8. Or something along those lines. Apparently simple geometry is beyond these people.


For some reason this makes me think the custy might go home to make eyeball sammiches and that doesn't sound very yummy. I like how this dumb custy repeatedly refused to use any common sense, by picking up the phone, yay evolution.


Kinda reminds me when I was once shopping at the Bullseye and somebody came up to me and asked where an item was. I told them I didn't work there (and I wasn't even wearing khaki and red!) And the lady said,"I don't care. I need to know where they are." I was all, like, o.O!


Yeah, I learned something new myself... drainboards DO have directions! Apparently she needed a small one that had the skinny side with the draining end but they were still too expensive. *eyeroll* She wanted it all for the $10 gift card she had. *shakes head slowly*

Burger Bitch

I prefer to keep fingertips in my ice trays.
I mean... ice.. in my ice trays.


Good on you for defending this poor girl. We need more people like you who can say what we cannot.

NC Tony

I nearly spit out a mouthful of ice tea when I read "I didn't like the shade of blue... it was too dark." I've gotta agree with you there. Who the hell cares what your ice cube trays look like? Gotta wonder how much chlorine is in her gene pool.

Token Female

@Tony: apparently not enough if she's still wandering around...


Whyyyyyy would you do that? I keep my eyes front and stay focused on getting my shit and checking out when I'm shopping. The custies can find their own help. You gotta learn to turn that customer service mode off when you're not getting paid for it or you will turn yourself into a doormat.


My retail friend and I joke that we must have the "Retail Face"... that look that just screams "Can I help you???" Because both of us have had random people come up to us at like, Walmart or something, places we don't work, and ask us for help. While we're wandering around with our shopping carts. Just a few weeks ago, I was in grocery shopping in a very not walmart-y t-shirt and jeans, full shopping cart, and some lady stopped me to ask where the eggs were.

And of course, having been a Slave for so long, I told her right where they were and almost went over with her to show her when she looked confused. :/


@Mike: Just... force of habit.... and my grandfather who instilled the good in me. He said that if you see somebody in trouble, help them. Then they will remember and help someone else. Unfortunately he died in 1994 and I think he had no idea of what the world would be like now. I'm sure he's spinning in his grave.


@Humor_Me I love what your grandpa said. It's how I've always interpreted the rules of the road, stop and help people when you can and they will remember and help someone else. It's a good rule to live by just keep sending the good vibes out they'll come back when you need help I'm sure.

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